Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

[Keeki]

There's a boy. Of course, he happens to live in a different town, but he's worth everything. He's funny, smart, down to earth, gorgeous, and just as damaged as me. He's a smart alec. He's kind. He almost never cusses. I haven't known him for very long but we're going to a movie (not a date) soon. Honestly, he gives me butterflies. That's never happened before.

[kavv]

There's a boy. Of course, he happens to live in a different town, but he's worth everything. He's funny, smart, down to earth, gorgeous, and just as damaged as me. He's a smart alec. He's kind. He almost never cusses. I haven't known him for very long but we're going to a movie (not a date) soon. Honestly, he gives me butterflies. That's never happened before.

aw, I hope all goes well! He sounds like exactly the kind of guy you deserve to have in your life.

[ｂｉｎａ－ｃｈａｎ]

Help....

My Ex boyfriend (B) has been, literally, standing, a few feet from the group, listening to the conversations, and laughing when ever something funny happens or is said. It makes be uncomfortable, since he would always call me when we were dating (this was before I Identified as male fyi (I'm transgender - FtM)) and talk to me for like, hours, and I wouldn't be able to tell him bye and do homework. he would call every day and talk about what ever, and all I'd say was 'Mmmhm?.." 'nice' and once in a while actually get to say something. He ALSO pulled me in with the 'I have this disease, this one too...OH and this one etc, etc' line, The last time I talked to him, I told him 'I'm bisexual' and he said in response 'Oh, well I have to go.." and never called again...Anyway, after we broke up, he dated a friend of mine (H). H and B dated for a month, and one time B tried to kiss H and she said no, turned saying 'I need to get to class' and B grabbed - what ever that space between your shoulder and neck is - and bruised it.....back to the present - B has been lurking around the group I'm in for a month now, since school started. and one in a while, I see him look over at me, and it scares me, 'cause he's a big guy and was able to hurt H just my 'lightly grabbing her' as he put it. Anytime he ever tries to talk to me I walk away, but, it hasn't seemed to be working. I've wanted to stand up and yell at him to go away, but, me being me, I'm too shy and scared to tell him that.

All I need to know, is how to I get a guy, who could snap my arm like a toothpick with only one hand, with out getting hurt or what ever.

[Me <3]

I've liked this guy for a month (we've only known each other for a month) We have four classes in common and he's cool. We talk almost everyday and I get him to smile and laugh. But I'm confused if he likes me back. I'm the kind of person who forgets to study but does pretty good in classes and he's the kind of person that stresses about tests and stuff. I always try and calm him down by saying you got this and you'll probably do better then me. Today during a test I finished faster then him and when I was returning to my seat he gave me a thumbs up and a smile, which is what I gave him along with a great job when he did a presentation a week ago. We're pretty close, and I'm pretty sure he's not afraid of me (previous fear that he was) I just don't know what to do, or if I'm reading the signs right or what. Help.

[Clifford95]

So just found out K actually doesn't have a girlfriend...I casually asked M, the girl who sits to the left of me if she was going to homecoming and she said yes. I asked if she had a date and she said yes but when I mentioned I was going alone she said don't worry I was just joking I don't have a date either. Then she casually said (without knowing at all that I have a HUGE crush on K) that I should go with him. And I was all like shut up! he is probably going with his GF. AT this point he turned to me all casual and was like I don't have a GF (just so you all know I'm jumping up and down and screaming and crying happy tears right now...) and M was like you should ask P (otherwise known as me) to the dance. And he was like I'm already going with a big group of my friends and that was that...
I have decided though that I am definitely going to homecoming if just to hang out with him...who cares if I don't have a date...

I also learned today that he is in theatre and is in the Thespians play...whatever that is and what youtube channels he likes...loving life right now...trying to find some similar interests between us...and I'm just...super happy well if you read this all thanks and bye! I.Am.Divergent

[vulture,]

So, I wanted to post a question for you all since this topic came up again for me today.

Whenever a guy asks me out, it seems like I am villainized for turning them down. It's always that I should "give him a chance" or that he's "a really nice guy" when yet I have zero feelings for them. When I mention that, the same things are brought up, "he's funny, though!", "It takes a lot of courage to ask a girl out", and, my favorite, "you probably broke his heart". Good.
Half of the time, these guys that ask me out are absolute creeps. I had a guy who was later arrested for substance abuse ask me out. Today, a kid I have talked to one time asked me out. When I said no, I was shunned.
This is not okay in the slightest. It is not my fault that he had feelings and I did not. I can not control that. I do not want to be locked away in another unhappy relationship.

My question is this: Do any of you (girls mainly, though I do know this happens to guys on occasion) have this problem? What are your experiences with the topic and thoughts around it?

[JustDucky]

So, I wanted to post a question for you all since this topic came up again for me today.

Whenever a guy asks me out, it seems like I am villainized for turning them down. It's always that I should "give him a chance" or that he's "a really nice guy" when yet I have zero feelings for them. When I mention that, the same things are brought up, "he's funny, though!", "It takes a lot of courage to ask a girl out", and, my favorite, "you probably broke his heart". Good.
Half of the time, these guys that ask me out are absolute creeps. I had a guy who was later arrested for substance abuse ask me out. Today, a kid I have talked to one time asked me out. When I said no, I was shunned.
This is not okay in the slightest. It is not my fault that he had feelings and I did not. I can not control that. I do not want to be locked away in another unhappy relationship.
Sometimes breaking their heart is a way to get them to move on. I know it sounds cruel, but you're doing them a favor by telling them you're not interested, and they shouldn't waste their time.

My question is this: Do any of you (girls mainly, though I do know this happens to guys on occasion) have this problem? What are your experiences with the topic and thoughts around it?

I used to have a similar problem. There was quite a few guys that I turned down, and someone said something of the sort to me. Eventually they got over it. I know it takes alot of courage to ask someone out, but why would you want relationship where the feeling is mutual? Sometimes if you give a relationship a try, then you develop feelings, but usually this just leads to being even more creeped out by the person. If

[lightningthewolf127]

I am going to go ahead and post this here. Its hard because I can't talk to any of my friends about this because they would just tease me so maybe people here can help. So there is this guy who I have liked for two years now. I will admit first it was just a crush but I truly believe it to be love by now. He is one of my good friends actually, I have known him for five years. Two years ago I had told hm but he kinda brushed it off like it was nothing and I gave up for a while and just daydreamed. Then this past late spring/early summer things changed. He said he really missed me when I was at camp and in secret gave me a hug. (He has a twin brother I am also friends with so It is hard to be alone with him and it makes things more complicated) So he started giving me hugs before I left if his brother wasn't there. And then late summer I was in his room and his brother was in the bathroom and he pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me. Now when we are alone he does that and we don't really say anything. I just sit there and enjoy his warmth because those are the times I am most happy. I have never had a boyfriend so all of this stuff is so new to me. The thing is he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend or told me he likes or loves me. I am really confused. I mean you don't exactly hug and cuddle someone who is just a friend and I think he knows how I feel. He is really shy and quiet though so I don't think he would be the type to confess. But sometimes I wonder if he is only doing this to make me happy since before this he never showed an interest in anyone. I really do love him though, something about him just draws me to him. Every time even so much as touches me it makes me so happy. But when other people are around he acts like he always has. I am not sure what to do, should I just keep things the way they are with him being my secret almost boyfriend and not risk anything. Or should I tell him that I love him and want to really be his girlfriend, that I want to hold his hand when I walk by him, that I want him to put his arm around me when I am cold, and cuddle me when I am sad. I have been struggling with this for two years and I have no experience so I just don't know what to do. If anyone could help it would mean a lot to me. Oh and I have one last thing that happened. He usually never does anything in public but we were waiting in the hall for science and everyone had gone in the room and I was going in but he tells me to come help him with his stuff. So i go to help him pack up his backpack and he graps me and pulls me into his lap for a few seconds and then reaches his hands to my arms and "helps me pick up his stuff" then I give him a quick hug and we walk inside the room. (No one saw we were not in view of people i don't think) But then he doesn't say anything after class or after school and he didn't text me or anything. I am so confused, does he like me or not? He keeps sending mixed signals but I love him and I think he knows. I just don't know what to do.....

[Taylor-Rae]

I am going to go ahead and post this here. Its hard because I can't talk to any of my friends about this because they would just tease me so maybe people here can help. So there is this guy who I have liked for two years now. I will admit first it was just a crush but I truly believe it to be love by now. He is one of my good friends actually, I have known him for five years. Two years ago I had told hm but he kinda brushed it off like it was nothing and I gave up for a while and just daydreamed. Then this past late spring/early summer things changed. He said he really missed me when I was at camp and in secret gave me a hug. (He has a twin brother I am also friends with so It is hard to be alone with him and it makes things more complicated) So he started giving me hugs before I left if his brother wasn't there. And then late summer I was in his room and his brother was in the bathroom and he pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me. Now when we are alone he does that and we don't really say anything. I just sit there and enjoy his warmth because those are the times I am most happy. I have never had a boyfriend so all of this stuff is so new to me. The thing is he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend or told me he likes or loves me. I am really confused. I mean you don't exactly hug and cuddle someone who is just a friend and I think he knows how I feel. He is really shy and quiet though so I don't think he would be the type to confess. But sometimes I wonder if he is only doing this to make me happy since before this he never showed an interest in anyone. I really do love him though, something about him just draws me to him. Every time even so much as touches me it makes me so happy. But when other people are around he acts like he always has. I am not sure what to do, should I just keep things the way they are with him being my secret almost boyfriend and not risk anything. Or should I tell him that I love him and want to really be his girlfriend, that I want to hold his hand when I walk by him, that I want him to put his arm around me when I am cold, and cuddle me when I am sad. I have been struggling with this for two years and I have no experience so I just don't know what to do. If anyone could help it would mean a lot to me. Oh and I have one last thing that happened. He usually never does anything in public but we were waiting in the hall for science and everyone had gone in the room and I was going in but he tells me to come help him with his stuff. So i go to help him pack up his backpack and he graps me and pulls me into his lap for a few seconds and then reaches his hands to my arms and "helps me pick up his stuff" then I give him a quick hug and we walk inside the room. (No one saw we were not in view of people i don't think) But then he doesn't say anything after class or after school and he didn't text me or anything. I am so confused, does he like me or not? He keeps sending mixed signals but I love him and I think he knows. I just don't know what to do.....

I wouldn't push it, I would just wait for him to make the move and ask cause he probably knows your ready but isn't ready himself.

[Dia.]

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with going to Homecoming(or any other dances) without a dance guys! :D
They are maybe MORE fun without a date since you can have fun with your friends and search out cute guys. :3
I went to plenty of dances with my friends. My first date to a dance was as a freshman, then I didn't have one for the next dance, and then I got my boyfriend. <3
But still, it's fun going stag. ^^