Because the Sorting Hat and Harry had a running bet that Harry would be placed in Cheesecake, and if he did, the Sorting Hat would have to give him 50,000,000,000,000 stuffs, but the Sorting Hat cheated and put Harry in Gryffindor and now Harry has to give the Sorting Hat a twizzler, but because they're so expensive, Harry can't afford the twizzler and he has to pay mortgage to Lady Gaga due to losing the bet and not having the twizzler.
(Where'd that come from.... o.o)
How old do I have to be to go to Hogwarts