Fool's gold-Book one:The fight

[opalnecklace]

c: It will come out soon!

[opalnecklace]

Here is the role play:

www.chickensmoothie.com/Forum/viewtopic ... &t=2341742

[opalnecklace]

bump

[opalnecklace]

Book 2 is coming out soon!Please tell me if you would like me to go ahead and make it!)

[Imagine If.....]

I think you need to make the chapter's longer. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but your grammar is kind of bad. You need to have a little more back round info. For ex) "She took Lily down to the lake." you never aid anyhting about a lake until you carried Lily there. This, again, is not me trying to be mean, its just critique.

[opalnecklace]

Sorry grammar is not my best subject.

[I r o n.]

I still think it's good. Just explain more.^^

[opalnecklace]

Ok I will.

[Connor.Deviant]

I liked it It's a lot like hunger games but I like it more cause people don't know that what's their for

[opalnecklace]

Yeah c: