Will We Survive? (1X1 w/ BurntPickle & Amandar)

[Valeska]

The pup drank his fill of water from the bowl, only to have his stomach let out a loud growl of hunger. The pup licked his chops in anticipation of food. He closed his puppy eyes as he tried to focus on finding food with his now twitching nose. After much concentration, the pup picked up a good smell, which he made known to Leyt with a happy yelp and a wag of his tail. He took off running into the kitchen as fast as his little legs would take him, He then screeched to a halt beside a lower cabinet door with a rope attached to the handle. The pup was nearly jumping out of his skin with excitement at having tracked down the scent. He pawed at the door with his little paws, trying to get it open with no luck. He paused at his attempt to get the food, as if thinking of another way to open the cabinet. Next he grabbed the rope attached to the cabinet handle and tugged on it until the cabinet door was opened wide. Inside the cabinet was bag after bag of Ferrell's rabbit jerky, along with a few other types of jerky as well. The pup gave a quick look in the direction where he had seen Ferrell disappear to, before turning back to look at Leyt with a mischievous glint in his puppy eyes. They seemed to say, She'll never know we were here. Help me clean up some of this food! Without waiting for Leyt's say in the matter, the pup dived head first into the open sack of rabbit jerky. His chewing and slurping noises were proof of his hunger.

Ferrell was surprised Leyt hadn't come and found her for help with the pup. Maybe he knew more of what he was doing than he thought he did. She had to hold back a chuckle when he called for her in a whining tone. By the way he was acting you would of thought he was the pup, not the other way around. She listened to the pup's happy yipping, bringing a smile to her face. Her smile started to fade away when she tried to wrap around her finger what had caused the death of the pup's mother. A shiver passed through her body at the thought of werewolf hunters having shot her down. But then why hadn't they taken the pup with them or killed him I the process? Then a new idea popped into her head. What if the hunters left the pup as bait to lure in any werewolves nearby so the pup could lead them right to their prey? Ferrell was suddenly having a hard time breathing. She had to tell herself that everything was going to be okay. Both the pup, Leyt, and herself were safe from danger, but for how long?

A bolt of lightning lit up her room and a pair of glinting eyes looking into her bedroom. Ferrell was so started that she let out a loud earsplitting scream and lost her balance in the hammock, causing her to fall and hit the floor with a loud, THUD! She scrambled to her paws to confront the intruder. Paws? Ferrell looked down at herself and realized her body must have shifted in her fall. Ferrell looked at the window once more and saw that the pair of eyes were still looking at her. She studied the intruder's eyes carefully for a moment then realized with great relief and anger that the eyes belonged to none other than her pet buck, Thorn. Ferrell was so angry at Thorn for scaring herself like that and at herself for letting her imagination run wild that she started to swear in wolf language. Not remembering that there was a young one under her roof. To her great irritation, when she finally looked back at the window, Thorn was still there looking at her with a somewhat amused glint in his eyes. Ferrell lunged at the window snarling and barking, causing Thorn to run back to his stall. "Serves you right you stupid deer. One of these days I'll have your hide!" Ferrell growled as she turned away from the window, left along in her bedroom, so she thought.

(OOC: I think it would be really funny if Leyt did something to scare Ferrell after having witnessed her temper tantrum. Then maybe he could somehow threaten her or give her a small playful punishment for swearing in earshot of the pup. Maybe a kiss or forcing her to do something if he beats her in a fight? I don't know. Something creative if you want to go in that direction. Also I'm going to try and keep my posts shorter because I feel like we keep having to back track a lot to respond to something earlier in the post. )

[exixst]

(;) I'll see what I can do.
You can shorten them if you want to, but I'm so used to backtracking that I don't really care one way or another ^^)

Leyton watched the pup scurry around, sniffing at the cabinets and such. He'd heard the little growl of its stomach, but had no idea what to do about it. What do they eat? How much do they eat? Leyt was a pretty big eater himself, and was eating countless snacks in between meals just to keep himself satisfied. Were little ones the same way? He didn't know. But all worries were suddenly lifted when the pup found a certain wonderful smelling bag. He shared a look with it, his own eyes reflecting almost the same mischief. He certainly wasn't going to turn down such an opportunity. Not when it was right there in front of him, and Ferrell wasn't even around. "And suddenly, I really like you," he grinned and scooted himself across the floor up next to the pup. He carefully removed the bag from its head, mostly so it didn't suffocate in there, but also so he could grab himself a few pieces and pop them into his mouth. It tasted like heaven to him, just like the first taste he'd gotten. Taking another piece out, he shoved it into the pup's mouth to occupy it, and then continued to treat himself, and occasionally dropped another piece his little partner in crime.

He froze whenever he heard a terrified scream, however, and nearly chocked, too. In seconds he was on his feet, jogging in the direction he'd heard the scream from, and the pup - who was curious and didn't like to be by himself - followed behind his ankles. And moments later, there was quite the mess of unprintable words coming from the room Ferrell was in, which immediately gave Leyt some relief. At least it wasn't something serious, because if it was, she wouldn't be making so much noise. An airy breath came from his chest in the form of a silent chuckle, and he rolled his eyes with a smirk. Bending down, he picked up the pup, who made a little noise of either complaint or excitement; Leyt couldn't really tell. Moving around the corner to peek in and see what Ferrell was so upset about, he pressed the pup's head against his chest to block one ear, and used his free hand to cover the other, being able to hold it with one arm without dropping it immediately.

"Ferrell..." he said in a falsely ashamed tone, like the one you use when you're pretending to be upset, when in reality you don't care, "don't tell me you've already forgotten," to gesture what he was talking about, his tilted his head forwards a little bit to pretty much bury his nose in between the pup's ears. That's when he realized it really, really needed a bath. He could smell blood, dirt, and grime all over it, and that wasn't very pleasant. And jerky. The two of them also smelled so much like jerky. He tried to pretend that scent didn't happen, though. Instead, he just simply strolled forwards, raising one curious and cocky eyebrow. "You really shouldn't say those kinds of things will little ears around. It sets a bad example." Unable to fight the smirk that was dying to spout on his face, he bent down and set the pup on the floor, kind of hoping it went back into the kitchen and cleaned up the mess the two of them had made before Ferrell had the chance to see it. Standing back up once more, he loosely folded his arms across his chest and let the mischievous smirk lay on his face. "Unspoken rule number three; you don't curse in front of the little ones... And you already broke it. I can't believe you," he teased, his tone of voice too lighthearted to show any kind of actual genuine meaning to his words. He was already having a hard time not laughing. With his words, he approached her, standing toe to toe and looking down at her. "Well?"

[Valeska]

Ferrell had just gotten her heart rate back to normal when a masculine voice came from her door, causing her yelp in surprise and jump at least a foot in the air like some scaredy cat. She turned around to face Letyt as he scolded her for her chosen language in front of the pup. Ferrell opened her jaw three times to speak in defense for herself only to be cut off by more of Leyt's scolding. She stopped trying to interject because she seemed to get nowhere. Instead she just kept her mouth shut as she took the scolding. Yes, she agreed that she should be more careful with the pup around. But no, she was not going to roll over and submit to Leyt for her wrongdoing. She knew perfectly well that Leyt could care less about the words she used or not. What really got Ferrell's attention was the strong whiff of rabbit jerky she was picking up on Leyt and the pup. Her jaw slackened at the thought of the two of them digging into her jerky without asking. Ferrell held her tongue until Leyt was done with his teasing. She watched as the pup scampered away back into her kitchen, most likely to finish off his meal. Ferrell knew she couldn't blame the pup really because he didn't know any better. Now the grown up pup before her knew better than yo go and take things that didn't belong to him. Ferrell let out a growl as Leyt stepped closer into the room until he was toe to toe with her. More like toe to paw. Ferrell didn't like it when others towered over her and she wasn't going to let it be okay now. "Well what?" Ferrell snapped. "I refuse to have a conversation, more like argument, with you towering over me. Besides, I'm not the only one in the wrong...am I?" Ferrell asked with a knowing snort.

Ferrell knew another one of her secrets was about to be revealed if Leyt looked over to the wall on his right. Painted on the wall in big diagonal red letters read: CECILIA JACKSON A Pack Wolf NO Longer (Kills: 22) It was a reminder to herself that she would never again go back to a life as a packwolf where she often would put her pack in danger because of her recklessness or her inability to control her shifting. It was also a reminder of those whose lives she had been forced to hunt down and end because of the many stupid reasons the testing facility had made her believe. She was a murderer wanted across many lands. But had only seemed to vanish off of the face of the earth. Ferrell hadn't had to add any kills to the running total for little over two years but she still felt each one weighing down her heart each and everyday. If only she could go back in time to change all the things she had done wrong.

Ferrell felt herself being pushed into a corner. She looked up at Leyt and could tell he was trying to contain his laughter he was holding inside. "What's so funny Leyt? You can't convince me that I'm the first female you've ever heard swear in the wolf language. Trust me, if you were scared formless because of your stupid pet buck, I think you'd be anger at both him and yourself. I had every right to be angry. I really doubt the pup will pick up on any of my precious words." Ferrell told Leyt with all certainty. Then the noises that she heard come from the pup in the other room left her mouth hanging open. The pup had just imitated a few of her naughty words. She couldn't believe it! The pup was a lot smarter than she gave him credit for. If a wolf could blush she would be blushing at that moment. Ferrell was starting to become more uncomfortable by the second. "Now he'll never let me hear the end of this." Ferrell mumbled quietly to herself but quickly regretted saying it out loud because Leyt would have been able to hear that perfectly with his enhanced hearing. Now she really was really stuck in a corner, her back hit the farthest corner in her room with Leyt coming closer. Ferrell gulped and waited for what was to come next.

[exixst]

Leyt grinned lightly when Ferrell jumped in surprise. He hadn't really meant to scare her, but it was funny, nonetheless. But she'd obviously just been spooked before if she was so jumpy still. What had scared her, though, was unknown to him. "And yet you don't seem to be doing anything about, Fer. You could easily just shove me or bite a chunk out of my thigh," he pointed out, shrugging in a semi-innocent manner in response to her first statement about him towering over her. "I'm in the wrong? How so?" His head tilted to the side with the quirking up of an eyebrow, unaware that she could actually smell the jerky on him. It was hard for him to tell where it was coming from, considering he could smell it in his own breath. And surely she could, too.

In this lighting, Leyt couldn't quite see the words, but he did notice change in pattern from the rest of everything. His curiosity told him to look over, but he didn't want to be the one to break the eye contact first, like he had once done when she had been the one scolding him, but for an actual, legitimate reason. So, for now he wouldn't look over, though made a mental note to check it out when she was done glaring at him.

"Your deer scared you?" He couldn't help it; he laughed. It was mostly contained, and the 'laugh' was really just air snorting out of his nose in a choppy way with a restrained grin on his face. "Well, you're right; I can't say I've never heard someone of the female gender curse in Wolfish, but it's certainly the first time I've heard you let out a string of naughty words that long," he said, and that's when he heard the pup saying the same things she'd said. "Oh, really?" He taunted, actually surprised that the pup actually did that. He would have to make sure to watch his own mouth now. Still, nonetheless, he retraced his steps to the door and stuck his head out. "Hey! Quit that. That's naughty," he said, trying his best to sound serious and authoritative. It was sort of working. The words stopped, for the time being, at least. Then Ferrell murmured something, which be was barely able to pick up on, but just the last part. "You're right. You won't hear the end of it," he teased, flicking his eyes back over to her with a lopsided grin. "I am so going to bring this up every chance I get." A single eye closed in a quick wink and walked back to her, knowing that he probably needed to go and make sure the pup didn't get itself cut on something sharp. He came to a stop a few feet away this time, rather than toe-to-toe, like he had been. He opened his mouth to say something cocky again, but was interrupted by the sound of something hitting the ground, followed by a sharp whimpering. "Oh, dear," he looked over his shoulder, frowning, "now what could that have been?" He looked back at Ferrell and jerked his chin towards the door. "Your turn to occupy him."

[Valeska]

Ferrell’s hackles rose at many of Leyt’s cocky responses. Yes, I could kick you or bite you where it hurts but I don’t think you’d appreciate that now would you? Ferrell thought to herself with a mental smirk and chuckle since her wolf face wasn’t formed in a way that she could smile. She glared up at Leyt. “You sound as if you’re picking for a fight. You better watch yourself or you might get one. Careful what you wish for!” Ferrell chirped to Leyt as she shifted her hearing from Leyt to the rainstorm outside, blocking Leyt out almost completely. It was still spring so Ferrell would guess the storm would last for about 24 hours or more. One never knew when it came to rainstorms. Ferrell focused her eyes back on Leyt when he acted all innocent about being in the wrong. Ferrell’s wolf instincts were trying to take over, urging her to attack the lying opponent before her. “I don’t know. You tell me…daarrrlling.” Ferrell stretched the word out letting him know that two people could play at this game. She didn’t know what he was getting at but she did know that he was mainly just trying to ruffle her fur. Well if that’s how he wanted to play then she’d do the same thing but only better.

Ferrell could almost feel Leyt’s curiosity drift towards the right wall of her bedroom, yet he refused to break eye contact with her. That was something not very many people or creatures had the guts to do. Ferrell for the fifth time that day made herself calm her breathing, which in the end calmed her inner wolf from taking control of her human thinking process. That could become very dangerous for the werewolf and their “prey”. Ferrell continued to hold eye contact with Leyt until she admitted what had scared her so badly. She pulled her ears back at Leyt’s contained laughter. She wanted to tell him why it wasn’t such a laughing matter but decided against it. He’d most likely just think she was trying to scare him. Well it should! She doubted he’d ever experienced the gasping pain of a bullet zipping through his flesh. She remembered the excruciating pain all too well. Ferrell rolled her eyes mentally at Leyt’s promise of never forgetting her mistake. Like he’s never made a mistake in his life either? I see one right now on his face. A small crumb of jerky was sticking to Leyt’s face. Ferrell was about to reprimand him for his mistake when a loud crash came from the kitchen followed shortly after by a sharp whimper from the pup. We need to name this guy soon. I’m getting sick and tired of calling him all these names. Ferrell mentally noted to herself before giving Leyt one last glare before taking off in search of the male pup. She snarled at Leyt’s demanding words about helping the pup. Calling back over her shoulder Ferrell barked, “I don’t take commands from anybody but myself.”

She didn’t bother to look in any of the other rooms because she knew where she’d find the hungry pup. Scratch that. More like full pup by now. Ferrell rounded the corner to see a huge mess before her. Rabbit jerky was flung all over the kitchen floor in all directions. Ferrell’s blue eyes tried to identify the object that, she assumed, had fallen and hit or injured the pup. As Ferrell came closer to the pup laying on his side whimpering, she could hear the pain in his voice and smelt blood in the air. Ferrell finally found the source of the blood. It looked to be a jar of peanut butter. The pup must of thought it smelt good, then tried to knock it off one of the lower shelves, causing it to break and cut himself. Ferrell was careful not to step on any of the broken shards of glass herself. It wouldn’t make things better if she too managed to cut herself. One bleeding wolf was enough as it is. As she moved closer the pup’s whimpering quieted to more of a soft whine. She could see was glad to see her by the small twitch of his tail. With great balance and ease, Ferrell leaned down over the pup to grasp his scruff in her teeth, and then gently lifted him over to a clean area with no glass. She set his little body down lightly then began her search for the cut. Ferrell quickly found two cuts. One was on his left thigh and the other was between his toes. He must of accidently stepped on a piece of glass. From what she had seen of the broken glass, it all looked to be in large chunks because of the peanut butter holding it together. Ferrell examined both of the cuts closer but couldn’t see any glass stuck in any of his flesh. Once satisfied that there was no glass stuck in him, Ferrell picked him back up and moved over to the bowl Leyt must of put down earlier for the pup to drink out of. It was big enough to give the pup a much needed bath. She let the pup go into the water and began to groom him with her wet tongue. The pup seemed to have forgotten his distress for he began to splash the water around. Ferrell started to get splashed, which she didn’t much appreciate. She gave a strong growl, stopping the pup in his play. Ferrell wondered what was taking Leyt so long. She just shrugged it off and continued to lick the dirtiness off of the now still pup.

[exixst]

"Keep in mind I am twice your size, Ferrell," he pointed out with a little bob of his head, "and I could easily sit on you and you'd be stuck, if I was in wolf form," a playful smirk danced on his lips as he continued to try and taunt her, despite knowing that a fight, no matter how small, might end up freaking the little one out. Either that, or encourage him to play a little rough. It all depended on how the pup reacted to violence or playful roughhousing. "I like that nickname. You should call me that more often," he chuckled, "but I, really, don't know how this conversation could get turned on me. Do enlighten me, sweetheart," he replied, deciding to play along with the nickname thing for just the moment. Being Leyt, he always liked to do things like that.

"Then why in the world bother issuing them?" Leyt called back, but didn't expect an answer. And at first, he started to leave after her, and make sure the little one was okay. But then he stopped abruptly, and his gaze drifted over to the wall that had been triggering his curiosity. It was a little dark, so he had to wait until a flash of lightning to read what looked to be writing on the wall. When in came, however, he got a quick glance at what was written. CECILIA JACKSON A Pack Wolf NO Longer (Kills: 22) That's what it read. At first he didn't understand it. Who was Cecilia Jackson? Ferrell had never bothered to share her actual name, so he really just thought her name was Ferrell. Cecilia Jackson... CJ...? He flinched a little. He'd heard her mention that nickname before, but he'd never been told what it stood for. "Well, know I guess I know..." he murmured, sighing slowly. Twenty-two kills. Killings of what, though? Surely she wouldn't be keeping track of how much prey she's killed. Because, if she did, surely the number would be higher. No... this was something different. More than prey. Something that probably meant more to her, or else it wouldn't be on her wall.

Eventually, he turned away, shaking his head. He strolled out of her room, and made his way to the kitchen, to find a mess he hadn't left. Sure, Leyt was messy, but this pup took the cake with ease. His eyes fell on Ferrell, or Cecilia, or whatever her name was. He was definitely confused by that, and would probably debate over it later on. But seeing her bathe the pup made him wonder how in the world she could've killed anything. There was no way that he wanted to believe that she killed more than just through hunting, and he really had no idea if that's what that number meant, but he couldn't figure out any other meanings. "Cecilia Jackson?" He said, voice barely croaking over a murmur. Busying himself, he grabbed a rag, and placed the larger shards of glass on it to try and at least organize the mess so it could be dealt with easier. For the smaller pieces, he simply wet another towel and slid it over the ground to pick up whatever was left behind. "Is that you? Or someone else?" He asked, looking up for a brief moment before going back to picking up the glass mess. He felt awkward trying to poke at her past. It was like intruding on her privacy, but he kind of felt like he deserved to at least know a little bit. He hadn't hid anything from her. Any secrets he kept were probably just things never asked about. Leyt wasn't a great liar, anyway. So the fact that it was possibly that Ferrell could've lied to him was a little upsetting. Not that she was obligated to tell the truth, but he had no idea why she wouldn't. It's not like he had anyone to tell.

[Valeska]

The pup’s eyes started to droop as Ferrell continued to groom him while he sat in the bowl of bath water. He opened his jaws to let out a big yawn. Ferrell wagged her tail at the adorable life form before her. She paused in her licking to lean in a whisper, “Don’t worry little one. I’ll protect you no matter what!” The sleepy pup responded by nuzzling her head with his nose. Ferrell let out a small sigh, deeming bath time officially over. With gentle care, Ferrell grasped his scruff and carefully lifted him out of the water to place him on a nearby towel. The pup sagged onto the towel like dead weight. By his even and slow breathing Ferrell believed him to be asleep. This would make the drying process much easier with the pup asleep. Her pink tongue started to stroke the pup’s fur backwards, letting the fur and skin air out from the water. Ferrell perked her ears when she heard Leyt enter the kitchen. He sure took a long time getting out here. She thought to herself with curiosity. Ferrell had just finished drying the pup’s back and gently rolled the pup over on his back to begin drying his stomach when she heard Leyt ask in a murmur, ”Cecilia Jackson?" Ferrell froze mid-stroke, her body went rigid and her eyes widened in both shock and fear. He must have read my wall. This conversation is going to be painful but I owe him the truth, even though I most likely will lose his trust. She swore her heart must of stopped because the next thing she knew it was racing back to life.

Ferrell tried to wrap up the drying process so she could put the pup to rest. She cringed when Leyt asked her if that was her or someone else. A heavy sigh escaped from her lungs and her shoulders drooped in defeat. She lifted her head but stayed where she was facing away from Leyt. She didn’t wish to see the expression he wore on his face when her lie came to the surface. “Yes…that is me. Cecilia Jackson, or CJ for short. It was my legal name I went by before I started shifting. Once you accidently shift in front of a classroom full of people there’s no going back.” Ferrell spoke as if she were in a dream. Leaning down, Ferrell smelt the pup and determined his pelt dry enough to put him to bed. Her teeth gently pricked the pup’s scruff. She tried her best not to wake him with her jerky motions do to her missing limb. The pup gave a small bark in his sleep. It sounded like a happy bark to Ferrell but she wasn’t so sure. When they reached the farthest couch, Ferrell laid his limp body on the cushion. Her blue eyes took in his sleeping form with intrigue. It truly is amazing how one so young could endure such hardship. Ferrell placed a small kiss on his tiny head. The pup gave a small sigh of comfort which warmed Ferrell’s heart.

The next thing Ferrell knew a tingly feeling started in her head, then started up throughout her whole body. She took a step back and closed her eyes, letting her transformation take place. When she opened her eyes again, she found herself on her knees kneeling next to the pup’s sleeping form. She grabbed the couch armrest and pushed against it to help her get to her feet. Her feet were stable as she stood to her full height. One learns to perfect their balance if they wish to make the shifting process easier. Ferrell let herself look at the pup a little longer, giving her an excuse to gather her thoughts before turning to face Leyt. She counted to three in her head before she forced herself to turn around. Ferrell walked purposefully over to the spilt rabbit jerky sack. She occupied herself by grabbing flung pieces of jerky and placing back in the sack. She did so without making eye contact with Leyt and was glad for the darkness of the room. She was dreading the next question he would ask. If he had seen her name, he must of seen her kill tally. He’d no doubt want to know what that was about. She couldn't decide what was worse; Leyt guessing what the kill tallies stood for or her telling him what they stood for.

[exixst]

The muscles in Leyt's throat worked as he swallowed tensely after hearing her admit the truth. It both stung and confused him, but he was used to the latter feeling. He was often confused by plenty of things. But what stung was the fact that it was actually true, that she hadn't told him the truth. Sure, it was just a name, but if she was willing to lie about that, then... He really didn't want to think about all of the possibilities. With no idea what to believe, he could easily jump to conclusions. And no matter how difficult it was to not do so, he'd at least try. Not saying he'd succeed, though.

"Okay, that makes some sense, but... what was I going to do?" He asked, letting his back sag against a wall with a thumb falling into his pocket. He didn't want to try and push, he really didn't. He preferred to just respect her privacy and leave her be. But... he wanted to know the truth, too. "What difference would it have made if you had told me your name was Cecilia? Surely I wouldn't have cared. I've never heard of it before," he tried to meet her gaze, but she was avoiding looking at him at all. Seemed familiar. But this time, the roles were switched. Truth is, though, Leyton actually had never heard of any 'Cecilia Jackson' before, despite how the other wolves rumored about her occasionally, mentioning what she'd done to others. His parents never warned him about her reputation, but probably never imagined that he'd live only a few short miles away from her.

"Well, while we're on this topic, is there anything else you would like to tell me?" He asked, his voice unintentionally hard. "Maybe you could start with the number 'twenty-two'," he suggested. "Twenty-two what, Ferrell?" His eyes narrowed ever so slightly, and he only used her alias name out of habit. Cecilia was a foreign name to him, and he almost say it as someone else's name. He was so used to calling her Ferrell, that he'd probably stick with it, or have to force himself out of the habit. Leyt thought about his question. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the truth. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to just turn away and not hear it. But he wouldn't. He was still far already, and backing out of it would be a regret. So he stood there, keeping his eyes on her for the most part, uncertain.

[Valeska]

Ferrell kept silent as she continued to clean up her kitchen. She wanted to interrupt Leyt so many times but realized it would be best if she just let him have his say. She’d tell him what he wanted to know though it would pain her deeply. Ferrell kept her eyes down, focusing only on the task at hand. Her hand worked fast in picking up the jerky. From time to time she’d pop a few pieces in her mouth, then chew slowly to savor the mouthwatering flavor. After a few minutes she looked around and took in the state of her newly cleaned kitchen. As she looked around, her eyes found their way to rest on Leyt’s eyes. She saw confusion, betrayal, and uncertainty in his expectant gaze. It made her heart ache, she wasn’t one to try and hurt others, yet that seemed to be the only thing she was good at. Ferrell willed herself to look away but his eyes held her captive, as if she were a deer frozen by headlights.

Her heart was beating fast from what she was preparing to tell Leyt. It wasn’t pretty and she had a hard time predicting how Leyt would respond. She wouldn’t blame him if he never wanted to see her again. That’s what had happened with all the other people she’d ever shared her deep dark secret with. Some had thought she was joking, but then freaked out when she reassured them that she was telling the truth. While others were so stunned that they left without another word to remember them by. The worst responses she had gotten was someone telling her to go die in a hole and a few others who attacked her. Ferrell feared rejection over anything but over the years had learned to embrace the rejection and move on. She wasn't one who made friends easily, mainly because of two reasons. One reason was that she was on the move too much to actually make friends. The other reason was she came across as dangerous, causing most werewolves to keep their distance from her. She often wondered what had caused her 'friends' to leave her. Ferrell would never know if it was because of her actual secret or because she had mislead them. If Leyt was still willing to communicate with her after her secret's unveiling, she'd make sure to ask him.

Ferrell took a deep breath before she pushed through and began to answer Leyt's questions. She kept her gaze focused on Leyt as she spoke, not letting herself look away from him, even though she wanted to go and hide. "My name is Cecilia Jackson. I'm not who you think I am. I didn't tell you my real name when I first met you because I feared you wouldn't want anything to do with me if you knew who I really was. I'm fairly certain you've heard rumors floating around your old pack of a female werewolf assassin who killed her own kind." Cecilia started to feel her body shake in shame and fear. She lifted her shaky hand and pointed an equally shaky finger at herself, all the while making herself look at Leyt, though the desire to flee was almost unbearable. Cecilia's voice wobbled as she spoke in a small voice, "Well I'm that female werewolf they speak of. I was an assassin and I was a murderer. Twenty-two is the total number of werewolves I've killed. Many were intentional kills but only a few were intentional out of self defense." Ferrell held back the part about her being manipulated by those at the Labs. It wouldn't make much of a difference of who made her kill them. She still killed twenty-two werewolves may it be intentional, unintentional, direct, or indirect. It still left there being twenty-two werewolves who'd never see the light of day ever again. By now Cecilia felt tears rolling down her cheeks at the fresh wound in her heart. She quickly wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. "Now you know the truth. I won't stop you from leaving and never coming back. I deserve that and so much more." Ferrell croaked, then lowered her gaze back to the floor, waiting for Leyt's unpredictable reaction.

[exixst]

Leyt's gaze softened for a moment when the truth spilled out of her. And so were some tears, which he hated to see. It made him feel guilty for even asking, and his initial reaction was to just apologize for bothering and then leave. But he couldn't do that. He was frozen to the spot, breath caught in his chest. The shock of hearing her say that was like being hit by a train, right in the chest. All at once, he was overwhelmed with emotions ranging from fear to pain, though many were unexplainable. It was then that he let his gaze drop tot he ground, licking his lips and trying to gather up some words. It wasn't easy. His mind had pretty much gone blank, and for a moment, he wondered if he'd forgotten all of the English language.

"Why...?" He eventually asked after a long silence, raising his eyes to study Ferrell's face. He wasn't sure how to take this. How could someone like Ferrell, who he'd pretty much labeled as a friend, be a killer? It didn't make any sense to him. Sure, she had her bad moods - many of which were sparked by Leyt himself - but he'd never pictured her as someone who would actually end the life of her own kin. On purpose, too. "What could've possibly motivated you to kill, Fer?" He repeated, finally able to scrape together a sentence, but now couldn't look at her. He was hurt, in a couple ways. He understood why she didn't tell, seems how it's kind of hard to mention such a thing in a normal conversation. And it's not like introducing yourself as a killer is a great way to make friends. But what he didn't understand is why she even bothered to keep a secret from him. From his point of view, he had nobody else to tell about it, so thought that there was no point in hiding it. It was just the two of them out there. Or, so they thought. Maybe there were others. He didn't care to searching at the moment, considering he already brought back one.

"And don't tell me this is one of those "if I tell you, I'll have to kill you," situations," he added, giving a halfhearted, weak smirk with a fleeing glance up to her. He was almost certain she wouldn't attack him. Almost. If she had met him only to kill him, she would've done so a long time ago, surely. It's not like she hadn't been given enough opportunities or reasons. He was sure there were plenty of times he'd done something wrong to the point where she would've been able to kill him with a justified reason. But... maybe she would kill him, or at least attempt to, now that he knew her little secret. Or maybe she wouldn't. He didn't know, but suddenly, was on guard, with tenser shoulders and an alert gaze.