'The Undergoing Way' Feedback&Suggestions

[Joypaw]

Welcome to the wonderful world that is the setting for 'The Undergoing Way'!

This is a novel that I've turned into a summer project. However, I really want some feedback and suggestions from some fellow chickensmoothians! I'll give you a couple small paragraphs, to hopefully give you the gist of things.

It had been months since water had been found.
The rainforest had been infiltrated and now the hot and merciless deserts were the only remaining refuge. The group had stuck together for the most part, but even then each was his or her own individual with unique wants and needs, and with his or her own personality came separation. Of course with division came isolation from the group, which meant falling into death's grasp.

Every breath was a struggle for all of them now, every paw print left behind in the swirling sand
was another battle fought and won. With every fallen corpse was another major loss. Even then, it provided meager morsels for them- They knew not the luxury of burial anymore. What was meat was food, and what was blood was water, no matter who it had been before. As the sandstorm weakened and the sunlight broadened the pack stopped to rest under a nearly submerged boulder, only barely jutting out enough to house the five survivors from the forty fallen. One of the younger adults suddenly collapsed in spasms, and his four pack mates watched in an eerie eagerness. Slowly his four eyes opened, and his forepaws reached upward in a sign of his wellbeing. The pack nodded with mixed feelings of guilt and despair, but relief was also evident.

As you may have noticed, these are not just everyday ordinary animals- Nope. These are four eyed hyena/bird/jackal/wolf things I made years ago, though this time they're new-and-improved. I shall post their references soon, but for now I'd like to see if it sounds like an interesting concept to you guys. Hope to hear from you soon~! ;3

~Joypaw

[Joypaw]

Species Information DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, STEAL MY IDEAS! Thank you.

Basic Anatomy and Behavior

Both Genders

Both male and females of this currently unnamed species have a canine-like body, though there are some key differences.
First of all, they have a thick shield of a pelt, though because they live in a hot and humid rainforest naturally so it isn't made to hold in heat. Instead it's purpose it to protect them from most pests and from weaker attacks. Like a hyena they have a slanted spine with shorter hind legs, and two hearts for double stamina. However this slant isn't quite as noticeable as a hyena's, and they don't have that odd galloping style of locomotion. From adolescents and onward they grow a sort of mane along their spine, pointing toward their head. It starts clear from the base of their tail to their forehead. Their legs are long and often skinny looking so that they don't seem to be very fast or strong, but even though it's hard to see their shoulder blades this is a species made for battle. Pups are rarely ever born alone, so the first-born, much like a hyena, begins chewing and pulling on it's younger siblings immediately. Thankfully, they aren't born with teeth. Pups grow in their fangs after a couple weeks, then after about another week or so their 'vegetation' teeth grow in, which are basically just giant maulers for both crunching bone and chewing vegetation. Each individual only has up to four teeth, unless they have a mutation. After a week the pups grow a 'dewclaw', but after a month this extra claw looses the extra skin around it and hardens, becoming a spur. Males often have larger spurs than females, though if they have a big enough size difference there can be exceptions. Forepaws can have three to four digits, but there has only been known to be three digits on the hind paws.
What gives them a more jackal-like appearance is their large ears, full of fluffy tufts of fur.
The tips are rounded, however, and the fur does not spike up naturally to a point. Their jaws are long and a bit cylindrical in a more wolf-like appearance, however their noses are quite small and do not grant them with very good tracking skills. This wouldn't serve them well in the busy rainforest, so instead they have heat sensors, affectionately named 'fake eyes', under their main eyes. They have an extra pair of actual eyes, considerably smaller, above their main eyes and close to the base of their ears. Normally each of the four pupils is circular, though in some rare cases they can become defected and have a splash of color for the pupil, which literally just fades into the regular eye color with no clear indication of the pupil size or shape. The last thing to mention is their fur color. Much like birds (or, really, most any other animal if you think about it,) males tend to have certain bright markings here and there, though these bright colors can range from the common 'side-burn' or occasional stripe/spot to the entire main pelt color being a brighter, eye-catching color (no, no sparkle dogs. I mean like maybe a middle gradient red or something. Don't say I give people seizures, please.). Normally though they'll have a natural tan, brown, white or gray, and on rare occasions maybe black. Females can have these bright markings too, but they are much less common and only come in small individual markings. Never will there be a female with a brighter, unnatural main coat color.

Under Construction, Please Wait. Anatomy Picture Pending.