{ ＩＮＫＬＩＮＧＳ } LOCK! NEW THREAD

[Iselka]

That's ok a lot of people haven't

[Dylan Klebold]

can anyone possibly critique my fanfic so far please? C:

The doors to the throne room creaked open with a roar. The golden robot's head slowly rose as the room illuminated from the golden floor.

"Your highness, another prisoner." a dungeonhand said, pushing the man in handcuffs forward.

The golden robot's feet touched the ground with a metallic clang as he walked to the prisoner; who was in rags.

"You have committed one too many crimes in my kingdom." the golden robot said, pacing in front of the prisoner. His nylon rubber hands ran over the metal of the handcuffs.

"You have it all wrong, your highness! See, I never did any of these things, I swear!" the prisoner pleaded, as the golden robot walked back to his throne of gold.

The robot's robes dragged across the ground as he made his way up the steps. After a minute or so of silence, the golden robot's head bobbed up and down.

"Take him away." he said, as the dungeonhand took the prisoner and ushered him into the next room.

"No, please, you have it all wrong!" the prisoner screeched and kicked, being shut into the room before there was a sharp riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip echoing the golden room.

A smile lit up on the golden robot's face. "What do you think about your humans now, Thomas?"

The light poured into the room through the drapes as morning took the two sleeping robots out of sleep mode. The silver one, the one with a narrow visor and small crown, walked over to the gold robot and assisted him up.

"Good morning, Guy. Time to get up." the silver robot said, as Guy reluctantly got up.

"Thomas! It's your day to judge the prisoners!" Guy hissed, as he opened the closet, revealing two capes: one long golden one, and a shorter silver one. Guy grabbed the golden one and threw it on his back.

"Right, right." Thomas teased, grabbing the silver robe and heading out the door and into the hallway that had gold and silver decorations everywhere. The long walk to the throne was eerily quiet, for Thomas and Guy usually had talked about the previous day.

The throne room's doors were swung open, revealing two people, two humans, polishing the silver and gold accents of the thrones. With a wave of Thomas's hand, the two were dismissed. Guy walked to his throne and sat down. Thomas did the same, and there was a moment of silence before Guy's fingers snapped.

"One flash drive, grapes.exe s'il vous plait! Now!" he hissed, as one person ran off into one of the doors.

"Guy, you got to think a-"

"Who cares about the humans? Do they really have any purpose here?" Guy hissed, as the person arrived, holding a purple flash drive.

Thomas looked at Guy, a question mark appearing on his black monitor. "Guy! How dare you say that about our inhabitants?! You know they look up to us like we are their gods!" he hissed, as Guy plugged in the USB drive into a port on the left side of his neck.

A bunch of grapes showed up on Guy's visor. "So what? They're all going to die anyway." he said, rolling his head towards Thomas, who sat to the right of him.

"SO WHAT?! Really? Damn, Guy, some days I wished I ruled this kingdom alone. But you are the one-" Thomas said, as the doors burst open, revealing a worn out messenger.

Guy gave the grape-colored USB stick to the assistant, who then took it away. He sat up in his chair, as the grapes faded off of the monitor. Thomas's monitor faded to black as well. "What is it?" Guy asked, raising his head.

"C-c-come outside. You need to see this." the messenger said, as both Thomas and Guy stood up in unison. The messenger led the two overlords to a field, where a farmer and his family laid dead on the field.

"Told you, Thomas. These fleshy humans don't last long." Guy said, being elbowed by Thomas.

"Shush." Thomas hissed, as the messenger started to talk.

"There was a black shadow... It looked like a human with the head of a mouse. But we didn't dare come close to it. The shadow had two large cats behind him; one was grey and one was a black and white tuxedo. Both female, I predict. But that mouse man can kill. That's why I came for you, to ask for heightened defenses." he said, looking into the woods.

"Deadmau5. Gotta be him." Guy said, under his breath.

see the full thing here

[Detail.]

Gah, now I'm writing 3 books at one time. I don't get confused, by put it's delaying my writing in Faltering Flight.

Is it just me, or does anyone else LOVE it when a character dies a bloody death or turns to the dark side? My friends are kind of scared of me because they think I'm crazy for liking my characters dying.

[Kaerie]

Gah, now I'm writing 3 books at one time. I don't get confused, by put it's delaying my writing in Faltering Flight.

Is it just me, or does anyone else LOVE it when a character dies a bloody death or turns to the dark side? My friends are kind of scared of me because they think I'm crazy for liking my characters dying.

I do the same thing with juggling fanfictions and current stories xD Can't learn when it's time to stop.

And I suppose a bloody death is fun when you really don't like the character xD and the dark side is always fun; all the contradicting emotions. And I think it has long been established everyone on this thread (to my knowledge) loves making bad things happen to their main characters. I know I do!~

[arte]

Username: arte
What we will call you: arte
Will you critique other's work?: yes
Links to your story if you have any: Bully Fatal Attraction All Of Me
Anything you want us to know?: I like poetry as well =D and hi (:

[catra]

Okay so I always wonder if this is just me but - when I have to write a tanka or a haiku poem for school it's always hard for me. I feel like the whole syllable thing puts a limit to my creativity.
ovo

[arte]

Okay so I always wonder if this is just me but - when I have to write a tanka or a haiku poem for school it's always hard for me. I feel like the whole syllable thing puts a limit to my creativity.
ovo

I know I just joined but I completely understand how you feel on that .-. They're just so...short and simple. Not enough room for a big imagination XD

[Detail.]

Your not the only one who thinks haikus... Just.... Ack, it puts a bad taste in my mouth.

On the note of poetry, my counselor wanted me to write a poem about not fitting in. HAHA, NOPE. I do NOT write within a prompt, it just won't work, ima do my own thing.

[buffysummers]

Username: DragonCommander
What we will call you: (a maximum of four.) Call me whatever you like. I respond to my username best.
Will you critique other's work?: (yes, no, or possibly.) Definitely. I love to critique short stories. If I critique a longer story, I probably won't be as detailed. But with short stories - yes, I am a huge grammar Nazi, and if you make one *tiny* little mistake, I will point it out. I'm brutal - just warning you - so if you ask me to critique your writing, expect devastating honesty. One good thing does come out of this, though - I can guarantee that your writing will be much improved.
Links to your story if you have any: Chronology of a Survivor is a Create-Your-Own-Adventure game on the CS creativity boards. I only just started it (April 21, 2014) and would love it if people would join or read! Critiques and comments on what I have so far are greatly appreciated, and I'd love it if some people would vote on what happens next so I can continue the story.
Anything you want us to know?: My above-mentioned brutality when it comes to editing, for one thing. Also - at the risk of sounding self-absorbed and/or boastful, I do believe that I have some talent when it comes to writing. I make a big point of knowing what I'm doing. I always spell things correctly, and I do not make grammar or language mechanics errors - I am scrupulous about this. Don't hesitate to ask me if something you've written has a mistake in it. My word choice isn't too shabby, either. Also, I WILL be careful about the writing I post on here; I know that this site is well moderated, but you can never be too careful, and I don't want to risk somebody plagiarizing my work.
Thank you, and I look forward to working with all the young writers here on CS!

[Schuyler]

Is it just me, or does anyone else LOVE it when a character dies a bloody death or turns to the dark side? My friends are kind of scared of me because they think I'm crazy for liking my characters dying.

Oh yeah. In the book I'm writing now, I end up killing off almost all the main characters: disease, suicide, execution, battle wounds, you name it. The ones I can kill, at least. It's historical fiction and I can't really have the actual historical people die whenever I want (well, I guess I could, but I do want to stay relatively true to history.) XD

It's not so much that I like killing my characters, just that I think it makes the story more interesting and realistic. I can't stand books that are all happy and light and sunshiny with everyone living happily ever after; real life isn't like that, and especially when the majority of the story takes place two hundred years ago in the middle of a war, someone has to die.