miss mockingjay wrote:Hi! Haven't entered a cat in a while, hope you like her!
Image/Description: A small black cat with brown paws, belly, and tail. She has a grey splotch on her back. Reddish-amber eyes.
Name: Burntpelt
Gender: She-cat
Clan: She'd probably be most comfortable in WindClan or ShadowClan.
Rank: Warrior/Queen
Personality/Skills: Burntpelt is great in hunting, and her small size is an advantage when fighting. She is cunning and can outwit a large enemy in battle. Burntpelt is secretive and tends to keep to herself.
Important Notes: She has three kits, Treekit, Thrushkit, and Mistkit.
Thanks in advance! C:
Happy to have you back, and happy to help! (I think I may have gotten a little harsh, apologies if so.)
Name Rating: 5/10
Name Type: Canonical
Name Reasoning: I've got a few problems with her name (and a few with her pelt, too, but I'll cover that later).
For her prefix, Burnt- is not a very good name (even if it does sound cool), for a few reasons. One being that Burnt- with -pelt would indicate a cat who'd lost all their fur to a fire or something, because it's an adjective rather than a noun. Compare Spiderfoot to Deadfoot, for example, or Greyface to Tornface. Reason 2 being that a lot of things look different when burnt, and burnt things usually are little more than ashes, which would be an unfortunate implication on the mother's part. Finally, a kitten can't look like burnt or a burnt. They can look like sleet, or ash, or cinders, but they can't look like burnt because burnt is a past action rather than an actual thing.
Her suffix is only picked at because she's a great hunter, and skill goes over appearance.
Alternative Name: Sootwhisker/Blackwhisker. Soot- still has the connotation of a fire, and both it and Black- are for a black cat. Her suffix indicates her hunting abilities.
Character Rating: 7/10
Character Reasoning: Her personality is fine, though I'd suggest a little more depth to her than one or two traits. It's her pelt I'm weirded out with. Black with brown paws and a grey splotch isn't really a thing in nature. It could easily translate to a reddish-brown cat with a white foot or something similar which is more realistic and a little easier to describe. I'd change her coat, and then add a few traits here and there to her overall persona. She could be a fan of the rain, or likes to eavesdrop and use the info she hears as mild gossip, or she could be afraid of swimming.