wolfsong-mapleflame wrote:Another name and Charrie review please!
Image/Description:
image.jpg
Name: icestorm
Gender: female
Clan: shadeclan
Rank: warrior
Personality/Skills: icestorm was always overlooked, named the weaker of the two sisters. Her sister, snowbird, was always classified as perfect. A brilliant hunter, a fierce fighter, mother of the medicine cat and the deputy, and would have been the leader if she wasn't pregnant during her deputy ship. Icestorm was always overlooked, her short, scraggly white fur was bleak compared to snowbirds soft, long snowy fur, and bright blue eyes. Icestorm had always been moody, because of this. She was always grouchy, and had a quick temper. She was sassy and a real pain to everyone except her mate, bramblebriar, who saw the streak of pain in her defensive pose, and managed to get around it to know the real icestorm- a kind cat who has felt the pain of living in her sisters shadow all her life. She always has had a streak of anger, that shows through the way she talks and acts, and in her sassy voice.
Name Rating: 7/10
Name Type: Semi-traditional
Name Reasoning: She doesn't strike me as a -storm cat. She's defensive, and resentful, and angry, but that's not what a -storm cat is. A -storm cat has a wild nature; they're impatient, and swing between brash and relentless enthusiasm and a calmer, more sensible personality.
This is not bipolar-ism before anyone asks. Bipolar Disorder is something much, much different and should not be placed onto a character without some intense research.
A -storm cat follows its namesake: a storm can be loud, and frightening, and extremely energetic, but it will pass eventually and leave a sunny sky. -storm cats usually tend to calm down as they get older.
Anyway, being named for such negative qualities isn't exactly flattering. The point of a suffix is to state something that can be positive.
Alternative Name: Icefur/Icepelt. She doesn't have any notable suffix traits, hence the defaults.
Character Rating: 5/10
Character Reasoning: Someone who's constantly in their sibling's shadow is just fine, but you've done the very same thing to her that's made her like she is - you've made the most important part of her be about how much she resents her sister for being "better". While we're on the subject of her sister, why does she have so much going for her? It seems to me that she was built entirely to give Icy a reason to be angry and bitter.
And, really, that's the biggest problem about these two: They revolve entirely around each other. Snowbird exists to make her sister resentful, and Ice's most important part of her character is how much she hates her sister. If they were to stand on their own, without any information related to their sibling, what would we get? Snowbird at least has some stuff going for her (she's the apple of the Clan's eye, apparently [ignoring the fact that no one cat can be better than everyone else; the whole point of a Clan is reliance on each other]), but Ice has nothing!
She has got to stand on her own. Talk about her likes and dislikes, what she does to waste time, how much she tries to avoid being given orders, or how she thinks a lot about life after death. Think about whether she wants kits or not, or whether she values fighting to protect the Clan over hunting to feed it. Ask yourself if she is thrilled by the prospect of a challenge, or if she cowers at the thought of change. Really go into her personality, and above all, do not let it be about Snowbird.
Also, does she have blue eyes? Because she'd more likely than not be deaf.
by ravennn » Sat Feb 22, 2014 5:14 am 
