Character Development Boot Camp!

[PFDC]

Notice on first post ^^

[MegaCherrio]

hi!
Username: MegaCherrio
names of characters you plan to fully develop on this page: Only two, Reika and Vengeance - just for a bit of critique and help ^^ <33
do you promise to help others?: of course! I often come off a little blunt but I'll try my best q - q
have fun!

one question - do we go ahead and fill out the three forms for our characters etc. now since there is no one else to critique? ouo

[Sen507]

I already posted this on the CAAA, but I think it would be helpful to post here as well. As a note, I can give much more detailed answers to each question but I don't want to go into too much detail about his story and I don't have the time to write any more tonight (I currently have about 15,000 words of his story written so far and about 10,000 words of background details about his life and other characters). His story also obviously is not that "realistic" since it takes place in the future and involves ghosts and reapers.


(Drawn and designed by ChitChatCafe on dA.)

• What is your character’s name? Does the character have a nickname?
His full name is Akioma Kuri, but his nickname (what he's usually called) is Tomare/Tom.

• What is your character’s hair color? Eye color?
His hair is black, but he dyes it green and his eyes are green.

• What kind of distinguishing facial features does your character have?
His facial features aren't that unique. He looks a bit young for his age, but other than that, there's not much. He does usually have a frightened expression on his face though.

• Does your character have a birthmark? Where is it? What about scars? How did he get them?
Tomare doesn't have any birthmarks. You could say that he has scars, but they're actually unhealed wounds that can’t permanently go away since he's a ghost/reaper (these aren't always visible though). These would be bruising on his stomach/chest, scrapes on his legs and elbows and a gash on the back of his head. He got them when he was hit by a car.

• Who are your character’s friends and family? Who does he surround himself with? Who are the people your character is closest to? Who does he wish he were closest to?
Before the start of the story, he has one close friend at school (who doesn't have a set name yet) and is also very close to his mother. During the story he is rarely able to talk to his mother but is still very worried about her, but he's very close to Riku and sort of friends with Maemi, although she is usually not very friendly toward him.

• Where was your character born? Where has she lived since then? Where does she call home?
He never moves from where he was born. The exact country/city is left unknown in the story, although it is clear that there are multiple languages and cultures present there and the story takes place after several large wars, so the countries aren't arranged exactly as they are now. The town he is born in however is very impoverished, although Tom's family has more money than the average household in the setting, he certainly would not be considered rich and works at a gas station along with attending a local public high school to earn money at the beginning of the story.

• Where does your character go when he’s angry?
He'll usually go wherever he thinks Riku or Maemi won't bother him when he's angry. This often ends up being a secluded area outdoors somewhere.

• What is his biggest fear? Who has he told this to? Who would he never tell this to? Why?
His biggest fear throughout the story would probably be his mother dying. While he is dead (a reaper) for the majority of his story, he doesn't understand the afterlife or know if he would ever be able to see his mother again and what he wants most is for her to find a way to be happy on her own in life. He tries to do everything within his power to help her throughout the story, but unfortunately he doesn't have much influence on the world of the living, so his fear does become a reality near the end of his story.
He has discussed this topic with Riku multiple times, but he would never tell Maemi because while he regards her as a friend at times, he weary of her and would never place much trust in her. He also never discussed this with his friend from school because while they were able to laugh and joke together, they rarely discussed anything outside of school work and truthfully didn't know each other that well. His friend was also the type of eternal optimist who shrugs off his own and other peoples' fears/worries and pretends that they aren't important to give himself a sense of security at all times.

• Does he have a secret?
Of course everyone keeps small secrets at times, but Tom doesn't have any huge secret that he's hiding from anyone. He's generally pretty honest and will usually tell the truth when asked a question if he knows the answer; although if he doesn't, he become insecure and avoid the question.

• What makes your character laugh out loud?
Tom hasn't really laughed out loud at anything since his death in the story, and before then, the only person who could really make him laugh was his friend at school. He's usually pretty shy and quiet, and can be a bit aggressive when talking to people he doesn't know well, so he doesn't always respond to jokes well and rarely tells them.

• Look at your character’s feet. Describe what you see there. Does he wear dress shoes, gym shoes, or none at all? Is he in socks that are ratty and full of holes? Or is he wearing a pair of blue and gold slippers knitted by his grandmother?
He wears white sneakers with bright blue and gray designs on them. He got the shoes when he was twelve and is sixteen in the story, but he hasn't grown much since then so they still fit, but are a bit tight on him and not in great condition since he's worn them to work and school almost every day.

• When your character thinks of her childhood kitchen, what smell does she associate with it? Sauerkraut? Oatmeal cookies? Paint? Why is that smell so resonant for him?
Tomare did most of the cooking at his home, although when he was younger he and his mom would often make variations on chicken soup or different stir fries together. He would make stir fries on special occasions, so he often associates that smell with his kitchen, but he also loves the smell of cake and ice cream (although he would eat these less often, usually only on his or his mother's birthday).

• It’s Saturday at noon. What is your character doing? Give details. If he’s eating breakfast, what exactly does he eat? If she’s stretching out in her backyard to sun, what kind of blanket or towel does she lie on?
If it was before his death in the story, he would be preparing lunch for his mom and him. He also had a TV in his kitchen (the only one in the house) which was one of his prized possessions and he often would watch whatever show was on while he was cooking (since it only had a few channels).
If it's after his death, he would probably be sitting in the park and making up stories about people as they pass by and waiting to get a call about the next soul he's supposed to help (although he dreads receiving these).

• What is one strong memory that has stuck with your character from childhood? Why is it so powerful and lasting?
His strongest memory from childhood is probably when his mother took him to an old amusement park around six months after his father had left. He was around eight or nine years old (I've written down his exact age, but can't remember it at the moment) and it was the first time that he had seen his mother truly happy after his father had left. The park was almost empty and he stayed there nearly all day and got mochis at a local shop for snack on the way home. This memory has stuck with him because it reminds him of the type of person his mother was before his father left and who he hopes she can become again some day.

I removed a few questions that I didn’t feel like answering, hopefully that’s alright. ^^ I also gave pretty short answers since I have a chemistry test tomorrow, so I think my time would be better spent studying for that than meticulously filling out character forms. I do have much more detailed forms for him saved onto my laptop though.

If people are giving feedback, I'd much prefer helpful suggestions for things that I don't yet have figured out rather than harsh critique on the structure of the story. Please think twice if you feel what you have to say could be interpreted as hurtful rather than helpful. I'm not primarly looking to receive feedback, I only want to keep record of the forms I've filled out for my characters here. Thank you.

[PFDC]

Yes ^^ though most of them ask the same general things just some are more in depth than others.
Aibo: realistic as in believable. His story could happen in that setting. It's not like "he was born... Now he's a bat... Now he saves the world from nuclear bomb. It's more of making a character that is plausible

[ojoku]

hi!
Username:
BoardToTheEnd
names of characters you plan to fully develop on this page:
Rock
Emmy
Luke
Nick
Jamie
Cody
do you promise to help others?:
Of course, I'd love to help the others grow alongside me~
have fun!

[Jijing]

hi!
Username: -Kyoya Senpai-
names of characters you plan to fully develop on this page:
Lola
Dashun
Steve
and more as they come
do you promise to help others?: To the best of my ability, yes c:
have fun!

[Affliction]

Okay well I'll fill out the first form in a bit, though I must say I never really realized how important some smaller details in a character could be!
Oh and I've also had this thread bookmarked for awhile. It's packed with tons of questions and an awesome example of a character! If anyone is a little more advanced with character creation and development this would be an amazing guide for you!

[MegaCherrio]

@ aibo7m3 - I think it would be useful to have a quick summary of the story since I'm sort of confused by the people and events ? Honestly I'm not that good with like "reaper" characters or other fictional things I don't understand at all, but I really think his fear is realistic and can sort of show me a bit about his personality and I like the constant emotion on his face, really cool!

art & design by apple on CS

What is your characters name? Does the character have a nickname?

My first character is my Kiamara, Vengeance. Her nickname is Ven. Her name has a long meaning that might come a little clearer if you get to know a bit about her.

What is your characters hair color? Eye color?

Ven's hair color is a charcoal black dipped at the front with a darker shade, and it goes down her back in a short mane. Her hair is cut rather short and constantly falls into her face, while it is well-kept and silky. It is almost unnatural straight, and is of medium-thickness. Ven's eye color is a deep red to orange to yellow gradient -- really beautiful!

What kind of distinguishing facial features does your character have?

Ven's most distinguishing facial feature would probably be her eyes, or maybe her roundness of her face, or her dark black contrasting markings.

Does your character have a birthmark? Where is it? What about scars? How did he get them?

Ven doesn't have any birthmarks as far as she knows, since her body is covered in fur. She doesn't have any meaningfull scars, probably just the average bumping and bruising from growing up.

Who are your characters friends and family? Who does she surround herself with? Who are the people your character is closest to? Who does he wish he were closest to?

Ven was closest to all the maids, but mostly this one man in a dungeon cell she somehow was convinced was her father, and he practically raised her to be the good, polite and honest girl she is today. Even though she knows he's not her real father now, she still trusts and loves him with all her heart. Her real parents she was never lucky enough to see, and most of the other dungeon people were blunt or rude. Ven isn't really close to Kalo, she's more of a stranger, but Ven really hopes she could become -- or, well, she will, of course, if she's living with her now, her friend, at least.

Where was your character born? Where has she lived since then? Where does she call home?

Alright, Ven was born in a small poor village, where every bit of money the people made would be taken in taxes by the king in order to fight off a dark force -- a dragon, which was terrorizing the town. She was just an infant when one of the king's messages spotted her, and noticed how she was similar to a prophecy drawn into a stain glass window in ancient times that was interperated she would be the one who would have to slay the dragon and take her revenge for the town. She was stolen up and raised by the maids in the dungeon to work for the king, her own personal trainer coming every night to prepare her for her "destiny". Hmmm, there's a lot more. uhhh. She lived in the dungeon since then - and one day she was deemed ready, and was allowed to go outside for the first time in years, armed with a sword and a small napsack of items. She was greeted by the people of the village, young pups looking up with her with big eyes, believing in her - and it was too much, having the destiny on her shoulders, everyone looking up to her, and she didn't come back for days, weeks, she hid out in the forest, too afraid to let everyone down, and eventually caught a ride on an old cargo train, rode in it for weeks until she found herself in a strange town in the middle of winter. She would camp out inside a coffee shop most days, and nights she would try and find a covered place to sleep. She met a kind girl, Kalo, in a coffee shop one day and after a day (blahblah roleplay hhtrgh) she was in her house and was invited to stay. I guess that's what she calls her home. For the longest time, the small cell in the dungeon was as close as she was going to get, and in some ways, it always will be.

Where does your character go when hes angry?

Ven would probably go for a walk outside or to the kitchen to do dishes, or scrub the house, it relaxes her.

What is her biggest fear? Who has she told this to? Who would she never tell this to? Why?

Ven's biggest fear is darkness, and she hasn't directly told this to many, since she doesn't have much experience talking with others. Most of her life was spent in the king's dungeon, with only the prisoners and the maids. She developed this fear from the long nights in her cell, and the loneliness that surrounded her, having her mind create strange nightmares and monsters. She has showed the fear before to Kalo, who knew directly what it was, but she managed to brush off her "meltdown" after the incident. She wouldn't tell anyone her weaknesses, she's been tought well not to, but it sometimes shows through, and she won't deny it if someone figured it out.

Does she have a secret?

Ven doesn't believe in secrets. Ask her and she'd tell you anything.

What makes your character laugh out loud?

Probably doing something goofy or simple and just being around others, working maybe silently side by side, but just knowing the other is there, turning it into a game, maybe. Or just talking, even if the subject isn't all that funny.

When has your character been in love? Had a broken heart?

Not currently, or at least not what Ven can understand or feel yet.

[kes.]

@aibo - interesting character ono out of curiosity, does the seagull in the art have anything to do with his story? i kinda skimmed through your answers but didn't see anything about it, so i was curious xD

@MegaCherrio - ahhh pretty kia!! like her history and her fear, hhh~




art by Shinkei-Shinto

What is your characters name? Does the character have a nickname?
His name is Demo. He doesn't have a nickname, but his youngest sister (before she could say his name right) sometimes called him Demy or Dem.

What is your characters hair color? Eye color?
His mane thingy is bright blue, and his eyes are bright yellow (they don't have a pupil, and they glow).

What kind of distinguishing facial features does your character have?
Nothing in particular, although I suppose his eyes are very noticeable?

Does your character have a birthmark? Where is it? What about scars? How did he get them?
No birthmark. The tears in his wings (and there are lots of scars on his body, but not pictured in art) are from a few years ago. His siblings (very young sister named Kiya, slightly older brother named Ink, and older-but-still-younger-than-him sister named Quip) were all too young to fend for themselves when their mother (a doberman) was killed (presumably by their father, a demon, but they never knew for sure). Demo took charge of his family and kept them safe and well-fed. A little over half a year after their mother's death, Demo was returning from a quick hunting trip to their cave/den. He was flying towards it when it exploded, collapsing into itself and smothering/trapping/killing his three siblings. The explosion sent debris and sharp rocks flying towards him, tearing up his wings (he finds it hard to get himself into the air now, but he can still fly fairly well) and scarring his body.

Who are your characters friends and family? Who does he surround himself with? Who are the people your character is closest to? Who does he wish he were closest to?
His mother was a doberman. She was forced by a strange demon (who was genderless, but Demo thinks of him as his father). Although the demon left soon after, Demo's mother gave birth to four pups, one at a time, spaced out over a few years. The oldest was Demo. His first sister, Quip, was very quiet. She was close to Demo, and didn't like their mother. Over the years, their mother became more and more tired, and possibly growing insane. His next sibling was Ink. Although Demo didn't care for Ink as much as he did Quip, they were still close and shared a brotherly bond. His youngest sibling, who was born only a few months before their mother was killed, was Kiya. She was bold and curious, and didn't like being kept in their cave, but stayed nonetheless due to her older siblings' promptings.

He does not have any friends, has never wanted friends, and most likely will never have friends.

Where was your character born? Where has he lived since then? Where does he call home?
Born on the move, in a large, wild forest. Until his mother's death, they never stayed in one place for long. Then, for a while, he lived in a cave with his brother and sisters (until humans blew it up). Since then, he left his birth-forest, and moved on to other places. He hardly ever stops moving, not wanting to meet any others or get too used to one place.

Where does your character go when he's angry?
He flies, up up up as far as he can, until he finds it difficult to breathe. Then, he falls back to earth. He finds it calming and also thrilling; a distraction from his agony.

What is his biggest fear? Who has he told this to? Who would he never tell this to? Why?
His biggest fear was loosing his family. After he lost them... He doesn't fear anything except humans, and even then, he is reckless and careless around them. He doesn't care about his life anymore.

Does he have a secret?
Well, assuming that he ever stopped to talk to anyone, he would never tell anyone about his family or what happened to them.

What makes your character laugh out loud?
Haha. Nothing. I guess the only reason he would laugh was if he was doing it sarcastically?

When has your character been in love? Had a broken heart?
Er, well he loved his siblings. But he's never been in love with anyone, that's for sure.

[epimetheus]

hi!
Username: g-dragon
names of characters you plan to fully develop on this page:
- Dahvie
- Daesung
- Darius
- Sebastian
- Loki
- Pinne
- CC
- Zigsa
- Zane
- Seven
- Shadow
- Keiran
do you promise to help others?: yeee <3 ;u;
have fun!