this is not a test ♟[a novel] posting welcome c:

[Guest]

I am officially stalking. This is very good writing, and a unique writing style. I love the idea, the heroine, and the title- actually, I love everything about it. I am now one of those rabid fans who screech loudly with excitement whenever they see a new chapter. <3

[Asherwy]

ohmygoodness I love your writing style. It's so detailed and descriptive ;3
definitely bookmarking <3
I hope that I'll be able to write like you someday, the plot so far it great though sometimes I get a little confuzzled with Rose's personality. At first, I felt like she was a tough girl that wasn't fazed by anything until the second chapter, where she began to seem like a scared mouse but then quickly adjusted and became someone who seemed to hang out with the elites often(except that one dislikes her).

I was thinking that maybe you could make her personality a little more clearer. But overall, your entire style and plot just downright screams professional. Great job ;3

[Asherwy]

amg now I'm shipping Theo and Rose ;A;
Love it so far, your description is blowing me away as expected. Rose's personality is starting to become more solid, she seems to be a independent/introverted girl with mixed feelings about almost everyone(since I haven't seen that she has any good friends).

but seriously I'm loving this, can't wait to see what happens and why the missiles were released ;3;

[.:A r i c a R e e:.]

Must.Have.More. o-o This sounds very interesting so far. I would give you advice and stuff buuut... I really dont know much about that stuff.

[.:A r i c a R e e:.]

Sounds good ^-^ Cant wait for more.

[BlazingSabre]

O.O
*quiet, stunned applause*

This is wonderful.

Absolutely wonderful.

But, being the writing critic that I am, I noticed a few things:
-- You forgot a couple of hyphens; it shouldn't be "dark haired," but rather "dark-haired." This was more of a problem in the forst two chapters, and wasn't as present in the third.
-- If you end a quotation with an exclamation point, you shouldn't have a capital letter if you add a "he said" or something comparable. For example: "We're going to blow up!" she was saying. It's counterintuitive, but "she was saying" would be a fragment otherwise.
-- Vary your sentence length! You have a ton of wonderfully long sentences, so add in some short ones to break things up a bit.
-- Be careful to not overuse one-sentence paragraphs. While they're great in moderation, using multiple in a short span lessens their power. An ideal to strive for could be potentially one one-sentence paragraph or less per chapter.
-- I'm with previous commenters in saying that defining Rose's personality would be nice.

I'm a bit nitpicky, so feel free to take this with a grain of salt ^.^

Things I really enjoyed:
-- The sensory details you used were fabulous. FABULOUS.
-- Rose's conflicting emotions about her mother are perfect-- she loves her, but resents her at the same time, and the dichotomy there is beautifully written.
-- The acting-out of an explosion. Right before an actual explosion. The irony. YESSSSS.
-- The concept is attention-grabbing. I want to see where this is going.

I do a bit of informal editing for people, so if you'd like a more in-depth analysis, feel free to PM me!

Thanks for your story!

[malteser]

My mind has just been blown.
PUBLISH THIS NOW.

[camohunter97]

please post more! This is great!

[BluSage]

I love, love, love this... <3 The effect of disasters on people is one of the most intriguing things to witness- I hope you write a great deal more of this! ^-^

[wren]

•★[this is great so far! get it published :D]★•