Glow. wrote:Image/Description: Completely black with forest green eyes.
Name: Moonshadow
Gender: Female
Clan: Doveclan
Rank: Warrior
Personality/Skills: Very normal.
Important Notes: Nope.
Image/Description: Grey tabby with forest green eyes.
Name: Brokenheart
Gender: Female
Clan: Streamclan
Rank: Medicine Cat
Personality/Skills: Very secretive and locked away. She is icy on the outside, but the cats who know her secrets know how she really is.
Important Notes: Has many secrets from her past, her name was changed after her sister died.
Image/Description: Golden brown with blue eyes.
Name: HawkShadow
Gender: Male
Clan: Thunderclan
Rank: Warrior
Personality/Skills: He is average, though he is not very skilled at hunting.
Important Notes: Nope.
Image/Description: White with icy blue eyes.
Name: Frostfeather
Gender: Female
Clan: Fallenclan
Rank: Medicine Cat
Personality/Skills: Shy and caring, has always wanted to love.
Important Notes: Feels broken because she can't love.
Upon rereading this, it occurred to me that most of these sound incredibly harsh. I hope you'll forgive me; I don't mean to be rude. I have covered a great deal of these prefixes and suffixes, so by repeating myself I sound more blunt.
MoonshadowName Rating: 2/10
Name Type: Lyrical
Name Reasoning: Moon- is, in and of itself, a name that no cat deserves. The moon is a very sacred object to the Clans - they have the Moonstone (later Moonpool), it's used during Gatherings to tell whether StarClan is upset with the cats or not, and for the longest time the Hunters even agreed that the name was not allowed on any cat (see how well that went). It's like naming your cat Sun- or Star-. You just don't do it.
Along with that, -shadow is also not recommended. It's not very descriptive in a useful way, and whatever it wants to say can already be said by some other suffix (-whisker and -stripe in particular).
Alternative Name: Beetlepelt/Sedgepelt. Beetle- and Sedge- are for a brown or black cat, and since she has no outstanding skills, she just has the -pelt suffix.
Character Rating: ?/10
Character Reasoning: I'd rate her personality, but you haven't...really...given me anything to work with. "Normal" varies from Clan to Clan, so I'll have to describe what comes to mind when I think of her.
She's a sly cat, having a bit of an attitude when being ordered around - she doesn't like being explicitly told to do something, as it implies that she's not actually in charge of doing whatever she wants. She likes to be lazy, and seems to stay up during the night, thus using most of her time as a (very good) sentry. She can be a little whiny, but usually shuts up after five minutes and just does her job. Her favorite thing to do is listen to old stories of ancient warriors, particularly the tricksters and how they fooled larger enemies into giving up certain traits that made them how they are today. She wishes she could be as clever as these folk heroes.
BrokenheartName Rating: 2/10
Name Type: Lyrical
Name Reasoning: If a cat's so freakin' secretive and no one but her close friends know how she really is, why is she named Brokenheart? That's not only incredibly obvious but a little obnoxious too. There is no point in being mysterious and locking away from everyone if your name screams "one sad son of a gun".
On top of that, renaming a cat after someone they care about dies? Outright cruel, man. I really have to wonder what the leader was thinking. This ain't the first time I've gotten a Brokenheart, and they were named for the same reason too. The thing is, death is a very normal part of Clan life. The list of cats dying in the books is enormous, and it's a very regular thing that happens. In the wild, these cats eat, sleep, fight, until they die, usually suddenly and painfully. Cats will lose their loved ones all the time, and they can't let it affect their day to day life. A grieving period? Most certainly. But they still need to function. They cannot let a death or two stop them from being good warriors.
Alternative Name: Bleakfur/Ashfur. A bleak is a kind of fish (and I am not referring to the adjective "bleak" here), and both it and Ash- describe a grey cat. Since she's relatively neutral on skills, she merely has -fur.
Character Rating: 4/10
Character Reasoning: You've let this cat be defined by others' effects on her, and that's not very fair. A person, let alone a cat, is so much more than their relatives and loved ones. They are much more than someone who's attached to someone that died. Brokenheart/Bleakfur/Ashfur is much more than her dead sister. She's a warrior, and a member of DoveClan. Focus on her, and find out what makes her tick. See what she'll fight for and what times, if any, are bad enough to make her abandon others. Figure out if she hates looking at the stars because they're so far away, and if maybe she has a fondness for the flora of her territory because they're so much closer and actually physical.
Hawkshadow Name Rating: 4/10
Name Type: Canonical
Name Reasoning: And another -shadow? Well, it
is a popular suffix, and at least I don't have to cover it again for you!
Hawk- could be used in another time on another cat in another location. Hawks only really appear in North America - you're more likely to see an eagle in the UK (where the story is set). Were this cat in North America, I would judge him solely on his coat color. The prefix is sort of null, anyway. Hawks come in many colors, and you'd have to be specific on your area.
Alternative Name: Larchpelt/Carpfur, suffixes and prefixes mixable. Larch- and Carp- describe a golden-brown cat, and you can use either -fur or -pelt. (-pelt, to me, has always been for a shorter-haired cat, and -fur for a long-haired.)
Character Rating: ?/10
Character Reasoning: As with Moonshadow/Beetlepelt/Sedgepelt, I'm gunna have to theorize.
While he can be a little clumsy, he does his best at everything, and it's hard to stay mad at him with his sweet, apologetic demeanor and polite words. He takes some time to greet the queens and elders, and ask them about their days - while the queens don't like anyone but the medicine cat around, they've come to appreciate his thoughtfulness and regularly respond with genuine answers. He's quick to put a fight on hold, preferring to talk things out, and while he's not brave per se, it takes some courage to separate two very big cats who are close to going at it. He probably would have been the medicine cat, had the apprentice's spot not been filled, so he contents himself with helping the two however he can. He often stops to smell the herbs out in the territory.
Frostfeather is coming in a different post, because hers got even longer than these.