THIS IS NOT A DIARY, IT IS A CACTUS! The Original!

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OMG, I LURRRV IT!
138
60%
It's awesome!
36
16%
It's good
11
5%
It's okay
7
3%
Meh.
2
1%
Meh. x2
0
No votes
Not feeling it.
5
2%
I STRONGLY DISAPPROVE! (I wonder how many will actually choose this :P)
32
14%
 
Total votes : 231

O-M-G! I WAS IN A COMA!

Postby GizmoTheDragon » Wed Dec 11, 2013 9:59 am

{{i love you guys, but the anti-spammers do have a point. dont' spam the thread, please and thank you :) }}

Dear thing that is not a diary because it is a cactus:

OMIGAWSH! I HAS BEEN FOREVER SINCE I'VE WRITTEN IN YOU! I'm totes sorry. I mean, the last time I wrote in you it was the week before the Halloween dance and everything in my life was WONDERFUL, absolutely FREAKIN' WONDERFUL. But thennnnnnnnn.... IT HAPPENED! By IT I mean the TOTAL AND UTTER DESTRUCTION OF MY LIFE!

You probably want to know what happened. Anyway, I went to the Halloween dance with Xavier and he EMBARESSED ME IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE SCHOOL! Seriously, I'm not exaggerating. When they announced Serena as the 'Halloween Queen' (Look, I don't know how she got it 'cause we're sophomores. Just go with it.) Anyway, when that happened, Xavier dragged me on stage, broke up with me in front of the ENTIRE STUDENT BODY and then proceeded to make out with Serena, also in front of the entire student body. Whilst that was happening, I was sobbing uncontrollably and running out the door. I ran right out the door, across the parking lot, and into the road.

Then I saw IT. It was a semi truck and it was bearing down on me and I WAS STUCK. I COULDN'T MOVE to save my LIFE. Which, it would have saved my life. The truck's breaks started squeaking as he tried to stop, but I didn't think he was going to stop in time. BUT THEN someone jumped out to protect me!

OMIGAWD, IT WAS RAVEN! RAVEN SAVED MY LIFE! WHAAAAAAT??!!?!?

It was like SO IMPOSSIBLE but it HAPPENED and I was like WHAAAAAAAAT?! Anyway, the truck still hit me. Raven took most of the blow, and he was fine, I however, was in a coma for nearly TWO MONTHS! Yah! I just woke up this morning at five A.M. and it's ALMOST CHRISTMAS! That's INSANE!

So.... I really don't have much else to say other than that. All I've done all day is sit in my house and eat monumental amounts of junk food. (Potato chips, donuts, chocolate bars, gummy bears, cupcakes... you name it.)Oh, and I've been thinking about Raven. A lot. And by a lot, I mean I've thought about him more than I've talked to my family today. Isn't that crazy?

Anyway, since he saved my life, does that mean he likes me? I mean, I'm sure anyone with a clear conscience would've tried to help me, but would they have jumped out in front of me. WOULD THEY HAVE TAKEN A TRUCK FOR ME? NAWWWWW, PROBABLY NOT. Maybe he doesn't like me. Maybe he was just upset when Serena pretty much publicly blew him off for Xavier.

Gah! Xavier! EVERY TIME I THINK HIS NAME I SOB UNCONTROLLABLY ON THE INSIDE! How could he do that to me? Was he just using my to try to get Serena back?! WHAT MADNESS IS THIS?! WHAT HAS BECOME OF MY LIFE!?

Bye diary, I have to go put on an ugly Christmas sweater, cry about my life, and eat more chocolate. Byeeee!


Last edited by GizmoTheDragon on Sat Feb 01, 2014 9:30 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Quote of the Week
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Guys, what are you doing here? You're making it hard for me to wallow in self pity -Karma
Screw self pity! You're too good for that! -Layna
I am? -Karma


The Original Diary Parodies
Cactus - Venus Flytrap


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Re: THIS IS NOT A DIARY, IT IS A CACTUS

Postby quietude » Wed Dec 11, 2013 12:29 pm

Awesome! :D - Still here -
一条独木桥走到黑的感觉 确实不差.
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Re: THIS IS NOT A DIARY, IT IS A CACTUS

Postby zoocyte » Thu Dec 12, 2013 12:05 am

Yay!
comms
hello, call me ginto, gold or jynx!
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Re: THIS IS NOT A DIARY, IT IS A CACTUS

Postby Bebop » Sat Dec 21, 2013 9:04 am

RabbitTARDIS wrote:Bump.

For the last time we do not need to bump this.
Bumping is spam.
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OMIGAWSH! IT'S LIKE DYSTOPIAN & STUFF!!

Postby GizmoTheDragon » Thu Dec 26, 2013 5:06 pm

Dearest cactus (of course you're my dearest cactus. you're my only cactus!)

Sooooo. . . I went back to school today after being gone for two months and it was SO WEIRD! Everything changed while I was gone! Seriously! I walked in and everything was silent. There was NO ONE in the hallways. No crazy girls checking their makeup. No jocks throwing a football over the head of the fat bald teacher, who snoozed at the welcome desk every day. Heck! The fat bald teacher wasn't even at his desk! There weren't any gamer nerds swapping cheat codes or band geeks debating the pros and cons of synthetic reeds or bullies shoving kids in lockers. IT WAS LIKE THEY WERE ALL DEAD!

Well, it was actually a good thing because I was five minutes late anyway. Oopsies.

So, I checked the class rooms and there was no one there. NO ONE! Not even the teachers! I walked around the whole school, and there was still no one there. I then wondered if Christmas break had started early, but I dismissed that thought because there was no way in heck they'd give us three weeks off of school, so we had to still be in school this week. I didn't see any signs of life until I walked past the gymnasium, and I saw. . .

THE ENTIRE FREAKING STUDENT BODY.

Why are they all here? I muttered under my breath.

Then I heard someone hissing from the shadows.

Karma! You're back! -???

My head whipped toward the sound and I saw Layna hiding underneath the bleachers with a bunch of other kids. On either side of her were her two new kids, each with an arm around her. . . Riley and Lavarusin? I think their names were?

Layna! I haven't seen you in forever! - Karma
SSHHHHH! Do you want them to hear us?! - Layna
Hear us? Who? What are you talking about -Karma
Oh yeah. You have no idea. . . Just quiet down and get under here. Quick! Before anyone sees you! - Layna

I glanced both ways, making sure that none of the kids sitting in bleachers were watching and none of the teachers along the side were before I made a short, yet dramatic dash toward the hiding spot. In my head, I replay it in slow motion. . . even thought I'm pretty sure it only took about three seconds. Once I was under there, I started talking.

Layna! What's going on here?! Why are all of these kids dressed in black Hogwarts robes? Why isn't anyone in the hallway? Where's your other creepy stalker lover? I thought you had three, and there's only two here. Oh, and, while we're talking about stalker lovers, have you heard anything about- -Karma
Karma! Slow down! You'll understand it all soon. Anyway, the reason there's only two creepy stalker lovers of mine here is because one of them succumbed to. . . -Layna
Succumbed to what. . . ?
. . .
Layna! Just say it! -Karma
Serena. . . -Layna
Succumbed to Serena? What the heck is that supposed to mean? -Karma

Layna starts openly sobbing

OPEN YOUR EYES! LOOK AT WHAT'S GOING ON! THEY'VE ALL SUCCUMBED! EVERYONE'S SUCCUMBED! IT'S INSANITY! WE'RE THE ONLY. ONES. LEFT.! -Layna

I stared at her blankly. Something was obviously wrong is Layna was crying. Layna! Layna is as tough as nails! The world must be ending is Layna is crying! Hollie scooted over toward me.

Don't blame her for the outburst, Karma. Things have gotten tough since you've left. It's taken a toll on all of us. -Hollie
What's taking it's toll on you? could you please give me some answers! I have no idea what's going on! - Karma
Hollie points to a crack in the bottom of the bleachers
Take a look for yourself. Just don't take it to heart. Don't take it seriously. Don't even consider it. You'll succumb if you do. Please, Karma. You're our last hope. -Hollie
I sigh. I'll look. And I won't 'succumb'.
I took a look through the crack and took in the scene occurring in the gymnasium. In the middle there was a hastily set up stage, and Serena and her new friend- oh, what's her name????? Right! Emma! Anyway, the two of them were standing at a podium. Both were dressed in snowy white dresses covered in rainbowy sequins and they had their hair elegantly styled. On either side of them stood Serena's other two besties, Isabella and Elisa. Behind them in chairs sat the other populars and jocks. Everyone else was in the audience, wearing robes that were shades of gray and black.

All right students of Avian High! We're going to have another great day! I guarantee it! Now, a reminder to anyone who has not been sorted yet to please come to the guidance office, so we can put you in your social clique. For jocks and populars: party during third period today. Remember to sign your name on the list. Nerds: Homework surplus class fourth period. Make sure to see your assigned popular so you may complete their assignments. Music nerds: collaborative time during second period. Remember, the song for 'Anthem De Popular' is due for this Friday. If it isn't done by Friday, you'll all be on garbage duty for a week. Outcasts: Come to my office right after second period is over. There are new posters for you to hang up! -Serena

At the last announcement, several of the outcasts behind me groaned.

Now! Let's say the pledge of allegiance! -Serena

At that, everyone in the bleachers stood up and said in sync:

"I pledge allegiance
to the Serena
of the Populars of Avian High
And to the cliques,
And Emma too,
One student body,
Under Serena and Emma,
Undividable,
With slavery and boredom for all."

I gasped, turning toward the others. We were the only people in the room not saying the so called 'pledge'.

This is horrible! Serena's taken control! Why don't these people rebel, I wonder? -Karma
Take a look at their eyes. -Layna
I peered up through the crack again and saw what she meant. The eyes of everyone out there. They were blank and totally taken over by their pupils. They were. . . unseeing. Hypnotized!
They're hypnotized! -Karma
Not hypnotized. Succumbed -Hollie
Yeah. Succumbed. that's our word for it. -Layna
Well, why aren't you guys succumbed? -Karma
It was Potato who spoke up this time.
We outcasts are the only people immune to it. We're independent thinkers. They. . . well, they aren't. -Potato
Well, why don't you stop this then! If we're invincible, then we can solve all of this! -Karma
We were making plans! We were almost ready to star them, but then. . . -Lexi
It turns out we're not as invincible as we thought. -Layna

The small crowd of friends parted and I saw a small figure huddle in the corner. Dusk. And his yellow eyes were turning black.

Oh my gosh! -Karma
Yeah. They're starting to get to us. Soon enough, we'll all be succumbed. -Layna
Suddenly, a thought struck me.
No! We won't be! Raven can't have succumbed! I mean, he took a truck for me! If any of us can stand up to Serena, he can! I know he'll help us! I mean, he saved my life! -Karma
Um. . . Karma . . -Potato
Layna finished for him.
Raven's gone. No one has seen him since the Halloween dance.
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Quote of the Week
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Guys, what are you doing here? You're making it hard for me to wallow in self pity -Karma
Screw self pity! You're too good for that! -Layna
I am? -Karma


The Original Diary Parodies
Cactus - Venus Flytrap


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Re: THIS IS NOT A DIARY, IT IS A CACTUS

Postby dylanobrien » Thu Dec 26, 2013 7:09 pm

NOMNOMNOMNOM

this is so cute! I just read 12 pages in like 37 minutes owo
totes stalking now. -licks-
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Re: THIS IS NOT A DIARY, IT IS A CACTUS

Postby qraphic » Thu Dec 26, 2013 8:13 pm

you've GOT to be kidding me!!! Im in love with this cactus, but the next chptr has to be written ASAP >8U RAAAAAVEEEEEEN!!!!!!! ;-; Btw, i dont think ive ever loved a cactus this much before in my life owo
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Re: THIS IS NOT A DIARY, IT IS A CACTUS

Postby Reiji » Thu Dec 26, 2013 8:30 pm

Pss calm down XD
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Re: THIS IS NOT A DIARY, IT IS A CACTUS

Postby qraphic » Thu Dec 26, 2013 9:08 pm

Sorry im just going crazy 0^0 I cant bewieve Ravens GAWN!! ;-;
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