||transforming love|| - posting open~

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What do you think of the story?

It's amazing! I can't wait for the next chapter!
5
56%
I really like it, but it could use some improvements.
2
22%
It's pretty good, but not really my thing.
2
22%
It's ok, but it needs a lot of work.
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It was so awful, I couldn't get through the first paragraph.
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Total votes : 9

||chapter five||

Postby strawbaerry » Fri Oct 11, 2013 11:29 am

-----“Let’s see, my first question is...”
-----“Can Kyrith see me?” Diane interrupts, stepping away from the mirror.
-----“Yes,” the headmaster answers.
-----“Like I saw him?”
-----“Yes.” Diane looks up at the screen, standing straight and solid.
-----“Kyrith, I’m sorry, but I might say something about you that hurts you,” Diane yells. The headmaster has his head resting on his hand, clicking his pen impatiently.
-----“Ok, first question! How long have you and Kyrith been partners?”
-----“17 years.”
-----“How do you feel about your partnership so far?”
-----“I feel like I have to push Kyrith to work harder, but when I need him he comes through.”
-----“How would you describe Kyrith’s personality?”
-----“I know him a bit better than he likes to think...” Diane laughs a bit. “He’s quite egotistical, enjoys attention, is lazy, and tends to be a little rude.”
-----“Ah, I see, ne-”
-----“Wait, I’m not done,” Diane yells angrily. “Under all that, though, he’s very caring and sweet, and I always know he’s watching over me,” Diane smiles to herself, imagining Kyrith huffing angrily and muttering to himself “i’m not sweet.”
-----“So, Diane... What I’m getting from you is that you’re in love with Kyrith?” Diane’s face grew beet red, and all of her bravado and confidence melted away from the heat in her cheeks.
-----“N-no, that’s not what I-I m-meant...” she stuttered, pushing her hair out of her face. “I-I never s-said that!” She looked, panicked, at the mirrored wall, knowing that Kyrith was staring back at her. “H-he would never forgive me if I f-fell in l-l-love with him...”
-----“So you’re saying he doesn’t trust you?” the headmaster had a smirk on his face like he he was a lawyer and had just slammed down evidence that proved someone guilty.
-----“I-I never said that...” she mumbles. “Stop t-twisting my words around,” she whispers, clutching her sides as panic overtook her whole body. “Stop making me feel so flustered,” she seethes, more to Kyrith than herself, her vision clouding with the familiar black fog. Flames begin licking her body, her horns and tails glowing with neon-blue flames.
-----“Diane, calm down,” the headmaster soothes.
-----“No! Don’t tell me to calm down!” She screams, tears streaming down her face. The flames grow bolder and larger, and Diane can feel her consciousness slipping away.
-----“DIANE!” Her head turns quickly towards the sound of Kyrith’s voice. All she could see was herself in the mirror, glowing with black and blue flames.
-----“N-no, I don’t want to be like this...” Diane collapses onto her knees, holding her face in her hands. The flames disappears from her body, and the mist retreats from her vision. She looks over to the mirror again to see that it had turned back into glass, and Kyrith is banging against it. She runs up to the glass and presses her hand onto the glass where Kyrith’s is. He smiles reassuringly at her, confirming her suspicions that he can see her.
-----“Hey,” he mouths.
-----“Hey, yourself,” Diane laughs, wiping the tears from her face.
-----“You ok?”
-----“Ya, you?”
-----“Ya,” They smile at each other for a moment before the headmaster’s voice booms over the speakers again.
-----“Aaaaah, young love! I remember when I was just your age and I fell in love... oh, wonderful memories...” Diane and Kyrith spring away from the mirror, ruffling their hair in an attempt to cover their pink cheeks. “Well, it was nice meeting you! Your mission details will be in your rooms! Ta-ta!” Kyrith and Diane look at each other in shock as the mirror turns black again, and the floor disappears from under them. They fall for what seems to be about 100 feet, and are then slowed by a familiar gust of air. A door opens in front of them, and each teenager steps out into the sunlight.
-----“Eh? We’re in front of the dorms?” they ask in confusion. Kyrith turns around quickly enough to see the door close and melt into the stone walkway under their feet.
-----“....ugh.” Kyrith groans, shaking his head. “Let’s go, idiot. We have a mission to complete,” he grabs Diane’s hand and pulls her into the building. “Get into your damn room and pack whatever you need,” he stalks over to his room, unlocks it, and slams the door after him. Diane walks over to her room in a daze, unlocking it and walking inside without really noticing. She blinks several times as her vision focuses.
-----“Oh, I gotta pack...” she mumbles. Noticing a paper on her bed, she grabs for it and rips it open. “Is this the mission?” she asks in annoyance. There is nothing on the paper but a map to somewhere called Frell. “Where the hell is Frell?” she mutters. Sighing angrily, she stuffs the paper into her pocket. She grabs several bags and throws all of her clothes in them, tossing in a couple of perfume bottles and bags of makeup. A picture pinned to her wall catches her eye, and she walks over and removes the thumbtack. She covers her mouth to hide her huge smile as she looks at the picture, a scene from a sunny fall afternoon where she and Kyrith are at a pumpkin patch as children. Diane is wearing a little orange dress and a green beanie, and Kyrith is wearing green pants, a white shirt, and a little green hat. He’s holding a bow in one hand and pointing at Diane with the other. Diane has a suction-cup bow and arrow stuck to her forehead, and is cross-eyed trying to look at it. Diane puts the photo in her pocket, still giggling. Hoisting her two bags, filled to the brim with clothes, over her shoulder, she stumbles to the door. She makes it out the room and shuts it with a kick of her foot.
-----“Do you need that much stuff?” Kyrith asks, grabbing one of the bags off of Diane’s shoulder.
-----“Hey!” She whined. “I’m a girl, I need more stuff.”
-----“Mmhmm,” Kyrith smirks, walking towards the main door. “Don’t forget your helmet!” He yells over his shoulder.
-----“Ya, I got it,” Diane yells back, patting the bag she is still carrying. She jogs awkwardly to the front doors and pushes them outward, greeted by the crisp morning air. Kyrith is already straddling the motorcycle, strapping his helmet on. Diane unzips her bag and pulls out her helmet, securing it on her head before she attaches her luggage to the side of the motorcycle.
-----“Ready?” Kyrith asks.
-----“Ready!” Diane cheers happily, hopping onto the back of the motorcycle. She snakes her hands around Kyrith’s waist and hugs him tightly, praying for dear life that they wouldn’t crash. With the turn of the key, the vehicle roars to life, and soon Diane and Kyrith are speeding off towards Frell.
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hello everyone~ im pretty inactive on this site, but if you'd like to talk to me more just send me a message! i check my twitter and skype a lot more often than here!


i prefer they/them pronouns, so it would mean a lot if you used those! thank you!
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Re: ||transforming love|| - posting open~

Postby strawbaerry » Sat Oct 19, 2013 4:22 pm

bump~
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hello everyone~ im pretty inactive on this site, but if you'd like to talk to me more just send me a message! i check my twitter and skype a lot more often than here!


i prefer they/them pronouns, so it would mean a lot if you used those! thank you!
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Re: ||transforming love|| - posting open~

Postby strawbaerry » Wed Oct 23, 2013 1:38 pm

sweet❀tea wrote:
bump~
any suggestions?
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hello everyone~ im pretty inactive on this site, but if you'd like to talk to me more just send me a message! i check my twitter and skype a lot more often than here!


i prefer they/them pronouns, so it would mean a lot if you used those! thank you!
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Re: ||transforming love|| - posting open~

Postby strawbaerry » Thu Oct 24, 2013 12:39 pm

sweet❀tea wrote:
bump~
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constance (c) me



hello everyone~ im pretty inactive on this site, but if you'd like to talk to me more just send me a message! i check my twitter and skype a lot more often than here!


i prefer they/them pronouns, so it would mean a lot if you used those! thank you!
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Re: ||transforming love|| - posting open~

Postby strawbaerry » Tue Nov 12, 2013 4:08 pm

sweet❀tea wrote:
bump~
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cocoa spice (c) lucky cerise
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constance (c) me



hello everyone~ im pretty inactive on this site, but if you'd like to talk to me more just send me a message! i check my twitter and skype a lot more often than here!


i prefer they/them pronouns, so it would mean a lot if you used those! thank you!
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||chapter six||

Postby strawbaerry » Tue Nov 19, 2013 12:26 pm

-----”Hey, Diane, wake up,” Kyrith yells over the loud roar of the motorcycle’s engine. Diane grumbles and opens her eyes lazily.
-----“Hmm?” She mumbles, re-adjusting her helmet.
-----“We’re here,” Kyrith yells again, pointing one finger at a castle looming on the horizon. Diane peeks over Kyrith’s shoulder and gasps at the scenery. Large, graceful weeping willows line a dirt pathway. The castle in the distance stands out against the rising sun, along with the multitude of houses peppering the landscape around it. As they speed towards Frell, the castle’s shape becomes clearer and presented itself as one of medieval styling, constructed of large gray stones with little green tendrils creeping up them.
-----“Looks... ancient,” Diane yells. Kyrith’s back shakes a little as he chuckles. Kyrith leans forward a bit and eggs on the motorcycle to go faster as they start climbing up a hill.
-----“Come on...” Kyrith mumbles under his breath, coaxing the vehicle up the incline. They finally reach the top, thankfully for the poor motorcycle that was beginning to die due to the strain of carrying two people and a large load of clothing and assorted toiletries.
-----“I didn’t think that we would make it!” Diane yells in relief.
-----“Maybe if you didn’t pack so much stuff it would have been easier,” Kyrith growled.
-----“Well excuse me for wanting to be prepared!”
-----“I’m sure the motorcycle agrees with me when I say that you are too prepared.” Diane is about to retort angrily when Kyrith slams on the brakes.
-----“What the-” In front of them looms a large, rusting iron gate. It reaches higher than the trees surrounding it, is wide enough to fit a whole car through it, and is attached to nothing on either side. “Why don’t we go around it?” Diane asks in annoyance.
-----“Look closer. Do the areas next to the gate seem... different?” Diane lifted the visor of her helmet and looked closer. The area Kyrith was talking about seemed normal.
-----“I don’t notice anything...” Diane mumbled.
-----“Come on, Diane, look. Don’t the trees behind the gate look distorted?” Sure enough, when Diane looks closer, it seems as if the trees are wiggling, like she is looking at them through a thin film of oil.
-----“Do you think it’s a force field?” Diane asks with concern.
-----“I don’t know...” Kyrith’s brow is furrowed in confusion. “Maybe there’s someone at the gate we can ask about it.” Kyrith turns off the engine and slips the motorcycle key into his pocket. “Come on,” he gestures to Diane, signaling her to dismount and follow him. “If anything is over there, be ready to fight,” Diane whispers to Kyrith, matching the pace of her footsteps to his.
-----“Got it,” he whispers back. Diane’s tail twitches nervously, occasionally brushing Kyrith’s arm or leg. “Can you please stop that?” He hisses under his breath.
-----“Sorry,” she whispers back. They reach the gate, and Kyrith tentatively pushes it with his hand. The hinges let out a horrid screech, causing both teens to cringe and hold their hands over their ears.
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-----“Hello? Is anyone there?” A male voice calls out.
-----“Y-yes,” Diane answers nervously. A young man who looks to be in his early 20’s, steps into their field of vision. He has black hair that is messily styled on his head. His bright green eyes look quizzically at Kyrith, and with great interest at Diane. Small brown ears, which appear to resemble a cat’s, are perked up in interest. A bow and a quiver full of arrows are hung over his shoulder.
-----“Do you need something?” He asks, looking at Diane.
-----“Yes,” Kyrith answers. “This is Frell, correct?” The mystery boy looks Kyrith up and down with disdain.
-----“Yes.”
-----“And is this gate the only way in?”
-----The boy sighs in exasperation. “Yes,”
-----“Then can we go through, please?” Kyrith is clearly annoyed with the boy’s pompous attitude.
-----“Be my guest,” the boy responds with a sarcastic smile. Kyrith looks at Diane, who nods. Kyrith stalks back to the motorcycle.
-----“U-um, excuse me, but could I ask you a question?” Diane stutters. The boy’s piercing eyes make her uncomfortable.
-----“Sure thing, sweetheart,” Diane cringes at the nickname.
-----“Is there some kind of... force-field around this town?”
-----“What makes you think that?”
-----“The area behind the gate seems distorted, kind of like when you drive down the road on a really hot day and everything in the distance looks strange.”
-----“Well, I’m not allowed to tell you anything of that sort, babe. It’s against the rules.”
-----“Oh, well thank yo-”
-----“Although, I’d be willing to break a few for you,” the boy winks suggestively at Diane, who shivers in disgust.
-----“No thank you,” Diane turns around angrily, storming back to the motorcycle.
-----“The name’s Atticus. Atticus Talvern! Feel free to look me up anytime!” The now-identified teen yells after Diane.
-----“What was that about?” Kyrith asks, handing Diane her helmet.
-----“I don’t want to talk about it,” she snaps. Kyrith’s tail twitches in anger, but he doesn’t respond. Revving the engine, Kyrith lifts his feet up off the ground and accelerates. Atticus blows Diane a kiss, which she tries to ignore.
-----“Looks like you’ve already got someone falling for you,” Kyrith yells.
-----“Shut up!” Diane screams, punching Kyrith lightly in the back. Kyrith simply laughs and shakes his head. They continue in silence for a few minutes, watching the castle slowly grow larger. They screech to a halt in front of it, looking in awe at the sheer size of the building. It has a certain ominous air to it, aided by the crumbling walls and broken gothic-style windows.
-----“You ready for this?” Diane asks, dismounting from the motorcycle.
-----“I was born ready,” Kyrith replies with an excited grin, shutting off the motorcycle and removing his helmet. The pair walk up to the large wooden doors, grab hold of the tarnished silver door-knocker, and slam it repeatedly against the door. The door creaks open, releasing a cold, dusty gust of air. Kyrith and Diane look at each other in excitement, and slip into the ancient castle.
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constance (c) me



hello everyone~ im pretty inactive on this site, but if you'd like to talk to me more just send me a message! i check my twitter and skype a lot more often than here!


i prefer they/them pronouns, so it would mean a lot if you used those! thank you!
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Re: ||transforming love|| - posting open~

Postby Crystal Gems » Wed Nov 20, 2013 11:06 am

Honestly, I really love this story. You might want to put something about it based off of Soul Eater, because if not, you could be guilty with copyrighting, and we wouldn't want that to happen to such a great story. Awesome though, I'll be waiting for more :)
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╔══════════════════════════════════════════════╗

"I'm a member of the Crystal Gems.
We fight monsters and protect humanity and stuff."
-Steven Universe

╚══════════════════════════════════════════════╝

╔══════════════════════════════════════════════╗


╚══════════════════════════════════════════════╝
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Re: ||transforming love|| - posting open~

Postby strawbaerry » Wed Nov 20, 2013 2:26 pm

The_Amazing wrote:Honestly, I really love this story. You might want to put something about it based off of Soul Eater, because if not, you could be guilty with copyrighting, and we wouldn't want that to happen to such a great story. Awesome though, I'll be waiting for more :)


ahhhh ya i need to do that ^^;
and thank you so much, it really mean a lot! c:
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cocoa spice (c) lucky cerise
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constance (c) me



hello everyone~ im pretty inactive on this site, but if you'd like to talk to me more just send me a message! i check my twitter and skype a lot more often than here!


i prefer they/them pronouns, so it would mean a lot if you used those! thank you!
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Re: ||transforming love|| - posting open~

Postby strawbaerry » Thu Nov 21, 2013 3:51 pm

zelda. wrote:
bump~
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cocoa spice (c) lucky cerise
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constance (c) me



hello everyone~ im pretty inactive on this site, but if you'd like to talk to me more just send me a message! i check my twitter and skype a lot more often than here!


i prefer they/them pronouns, so it would mean a lot if you used those! thank you!
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Re: ||transforming love|| - posting open~

Postby strawbaerry » Tue Nov 26, 2013 2:47 pm

zelda. wrote:
bump~
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cocoa spice (c) lucky cerise
Image
constance (c) me



hello everyone~ im pretty inactive on this site, but if you'd like to talk to me more just send me a message! i check my twitter and skype a lot more often than here!


i prefer they/them pronouns, so it would mean a lot if you used those! thank you!
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