Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

Postby Noni Gailin Ayrenin~ » Mon Oct 21, 2013 2:54 am

stinkende wrote:
Sounds like he's done. Sorry.. it happens. It will take time to move on emotionally but you will be better off if you come to terms sooner rather than clinging to threads that go nowhere.

As far as your other posts.. just talk to the cute guy for chrissakes. Or for our sakes, since we see that stagnant situation all over your signature and posts. He won't bite. Just do it. Whatever happens, you will at least be able to say you DID something and put the effort forth. And who knows what could happen. ;)


You make it sound as though you have the desire to get rid of me......Understandable though, as I have the desire to rid myself of all emotion and physical feeling at this point.

As for talking to him.....I'm currently hiding behind one of my friends who was in one of his classes last year. Cowardly thing to do, I know, but......I'm not in a great state right now, so hiding behind someone is about the best I can do without freaking N.C out with an explosion of my problems.
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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

Postby Maryanne00 » Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:00 am

Ok so i found out that a boy liked me; O
I asked my friend if she could find out if this is true and she said aye. She also told me that if he wasnt gong steady now, he would go steady with me. I am starting to have feels for him but he is upto my fore head and I really don't know if he likes me!! Help please. Pm me if you want a better explanation.
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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

Postby FUCCI DAUGHTER » Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:09 am

So my boyfriend and I have been going out for a month now. He's actually my first boyfriend, which... I'm kind of too old to be just having a first boyfriend. But, hey, that's how things worked out. Anyway, I'm really really happy to be going out with him but as always there are a few problems that I just don't know what to do about. His sense of humor is really bent- he's really racist and talks about other girls with a totally straight face until I get kind of upset and then he tells me he's joking. I thought I made it clear at least that I didn't appreciate racism AT ALL, but evidently I wasn't clear enough.
He also said "I love you" maybe a little too fast. Like, a week into the relationship. And this is my fault, but I said it back. Woops. Can that even be taken back? It's not a huge deal but I think "I love you" should be saved for when there's really love there.
Any advice on how to be straight up, but not...rude? (I'm probably going to be on this thread a lot.) All help is appreciated.
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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

Postby Rated R » Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:11 am

Noni Gailin Ayrenin~ wrote:
I need a hug......
My ex is entirely abandoning me, after I've tried to maintain and keep as much of our friendship as I can. I may not care about him on a Bf/Gf level anymore, but I still care enough about him that I'm sobbing right now.

He's one of my only two best friends. As it is, I'm not entirely in on piece right now, and this sure as hell isn't helping at all. It's like the icing on the hell cake, baked in hells oven and served up with the devil's pitchfork.

He's deleted all three of his chat accounts. I don't have his email, as I lost it when we had to wipe my laptop.....The only thing I have is his DA account, which I fear he may try to delete as well.


I didn't want to come home and cry today........



/hug/
let me present you another way to look at this:
he doesn't want to be with you right now. okay. that means he's probably not right for you: right now.
from what i can tell, you're not quite an adult yet, maybe a student in high school or something, and let me tell you: sometimes people need to mature. if he's so immature as to delete every way for you to contact him then that shows that he doesn't know how to handle the situation correctly. he's not right for someone like you.
so, my only advice on your problem is that you need to convince yourself that he wasn't worth your time. look, you need to be mature and keep yourself together. i know its hard, but is crying and freaking out helping anything? i am sure that a smart individual like you can prove to yourself that you are worth more. and hey, maybe after he matures a bit, you may cross paths again. look up into the future, stop dwindling in the past. you don't need some guy to be whole. you need to be positive, as hard as it can be.

as for your friend problem, i advise you try to find a few more friends. sounds easy when it can be hard [depending on what kind of person you are], but you have to try. you need to keep yourself, your happiness, and your sanity a priority. and you gotta do whatever it takes to get there.

sorry, sometimes i can sound blunt, but i mean for you read this in the most reassuring of tones.
good luck c:
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Re:

Postby F R E E ; » Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:16 am

F R E E ; wrote:
So I really like my guy friend, Jackson.
(I'm just going to flat out say everyone's names in this little story because I doubt I know any of you in real life.)
But I told a couple of my closest friends and all three of them said, "Oh my gosh. Really. Like everyone likes him!"

But oh. It gets better.

My 'friend' (I'm not really sure if she's my friend or not. I mean I think she's a cool person and I like her and everything it's just that sometimes she acts as if she can't stand me) Lindsay found out who I like by one of the girls I told just flat out TOLD her.
"Oh yeah, *insert my name here* likes Jackson, too. But you two are going to date. You have better chances than her."

And if she doesn't like me, what's going to stop her from telling everyone at school?!

Somehow, one person after another just keeps coming up to me and says "Oh yeah, I know who you like by the way."
WHAT. WHY. WHO TOLD YOU THIS.

And there can be no possible way he likes me over Lindsay or the other 4-6 girls that like him (even though some random people that have found out are saying I have good chances, I highly doubt it).

So I'm basically SCARED to go to school because someone could just tell him that I like him any day now.
"Oh hey man did you hear that *insert my name here* likes you?"

I can't even imagine his reaction!
"Ew. What."

Can I just not.
Okay.
I think I'm done.

If someone took the time to read all of that I applaud you.


Small update:
My guy friend just straight up told my friend that the fact that I like him is going to get out in a few days anyways.
And he's one of my best friends.
It just made me really upset but we mended it and he apologized and blah blah blah.

But I'm still pretty sure Jackson doesn't like me back because ew me.

Does anyone have any advise or tips?
If so then thank you so much.
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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

Postby thunderofthedrum » Mon Oct 21, 2013 9:11 am

FUCCI DAUGHTER wrote:So my boyfriend and I have been going out for a month now. He's actually my first boyfriend, which... I'm kind of too old to be just having a first boyfriend. But, hey, that's how things worked out. Anyway, I'm really really happy to be going out with him but as always there are a few problems that I just don't know what to do about. His sense of humor is really bent- he's really racist and talks about other girls with a totally straight face until I get kind of upset and then he tells me he's joking. I thought I made it clear at least that I didn't appreciate racism AT ALL, but evidently I wasn't clear enough.
He also said "I love you" maybe a little too fast. Like, a week into the relationship. And this is my fault, but I said it back. Woops. Can that even be taken back? It's not a huge deal but I think "I love you" should be saved for when there's really love there.
Any advice on how to be straight up, but not...rude? (I'm probably going to be on this thread a lot.) All help is appreciated.


Unfortunately, I have no easy or quick solutions for you. My boyfriend can also be a bit racist occasionally and I also do not want to tolerate it but it's hard - you can't just force him to suddenly change who he has been for years. And I don't mean 'can't' as in shouldn't, but as in it's seriously not possible. Habits are HARD to break, and when that habit is a way of thinking, a perception that he has grown up with, well it's going to be hard to deal with if things don't change. Being communicative about not liking in in a consistent way might help a little, at least to get him to not say those things around you.

You cannot take those three words back, sorry. You CAN have a talk with him about how you don't want to go to fast with the relationship, like you don't want to rush things and get in over your head before you are ready.

Also, it might be a bit tricky because you are only a month into the relationship. If you are still in school this might seem substantial, but in the 'real world' where a relationship may very possibly turn into something serious like living together, a month really isn't much. I don't want to be harsh, but this relationship probably won't last. And that's okay; learning experiences are good. It takes a few bad apples to get to the right one for you. It also takes experience to learn what you value in a significant other, what things you simply cannot compromise on, and how you want to be treated.

One last thing - there is no such thing as too old. I promise that however old you are, I will likely scoff and say that's not old at all for a first relationship. Everyone is different.
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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

Postby Noni Gailin Ayrenin~ » Mon Oct 21, 2013 9:14 am

That boy.......

So, turns out, I was the one reading things wrong, and yet somehow I proved to my ex that I actually did wish to retain our friendship.

aannndddd now I feel like an emotion ruled idiot XD
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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

Postby SamhokuFoopets » Mon Oct 21, 2013 9:25 am

FUCCI DAUGHTER wrote:So my boyfriend and I have been going out for a month now. He's actually my first boyfriend, which... I'm kind of too old to be just having a first boyfriend. But, hey, that's how things worked out. Anyway, I'm really really happy to be going out with him but as always there are a few problems that I just don't know what to do about. His sense of humor is really bent- he's really racist and talks about other girls with a totally straight face until I get kind of upset and then he tells me he's joking. I thought I made it clear at least that I didn't appreciate racism AT ALL, but evidently I wasn't clear enough.
He also said "I love you" maybe a little too fast. Like, a week into the relationship. And this is my fault, but I said it back. Woops. Can that even be taken back? It's not a huge deal but I think "I love you" should be saved for when there's really love there.
Any advice on how to be straight up, but not...rude? (I'm probably going to be on this thread a lot.) All help is appreciated.


Everyone can have the tendency to be a little bit racist. Even without intending to. You should tell him that you would really like him to stop. Habits are really hard to break. My dad is still a little racist sometimes, but he doesn't mean to be. He says something then apologizes to me/mom/or anyone he said it in front of. It might take him a while, but it can be fixed. When someone is being racist intentionally, even if it is a friend I have known for years, I will walk away.
Just talk with him and tell him you don't want the relationship to go very fast.
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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

Postby Mako. » Mon Oct 21, 2013 9:48 am

DizzyLittleDreamer wrote:
DizzyLittleDreamer wrote:
DizzyLittleDreamer wrote:Hey guys! I'm back, with a new situation xD

I've been posting in the last thread about me and my crush max, and how I liked him, told him, and how to get advice to get over him.

Well guess what.

7 months since I told him I liked him. And I still like him. A lot. He's helped gotten me through really bad times lately, and that made me like him more. Now I slightly like another guy friend of mine. But I still have strong feelings for Max.

What should I do? Should I move on with this new crush? If so, how can I get over max? Am i even ready to move on? If it helps, I've liked max for about a year now.

Thank you guys so much for any advice!
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Re: Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

Postby F R E E ; » Mon Oct 21, 2013 10:03 am

DizzyLittleDreamer wrote:
DizzyLittleDreamer wrote:
DizzyLittleDreamer wrote:Hey guys! I'm back, with a new situation xD

I've been posting in the last thread about me and my crush max, and how I liked him, told him, and how to get advice to get over him.

Well guess what.

7 months since I told him I liked him. And I still like him. A lot. He's helped gotten me through really bad times lately, and that made me like him more. Now I slightly like another guy friend of mine. But I still have strong feelings for Max.

What should I do? Should I move on with this new crush? If so, how can I get over max? Am i even ready to move on? If it helps, I've liked max for about a year now.

Thank you guys so much for any advice!


I've been in a situation like this before, but there's not really any advise I can give, because this is your personal unique situation.

But what I had to do was just wait a while to get over the guy I liked. Yes, by a while a mean a while, 2-4 months. I eventually got over the guy and on the first week of school I started to form a crush on someone else.

So yes, eventually you will get over him as much as it may not seem like it now. But I don't think that you should rush into liking someone else, because it may just be your heart's way of getting the love and affection you wanted from Max.

But this is just my opinion, I hope it may have helped you in anyway possible.
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