Dear Noobcake by Xialburg (Updates Every Other Weekend)

[KittyKat7658]

Lawl

[Darkdreamer]

im not one,i obsever up close,not from far distances XD

[Fauna]

Bookmarking.. Er I'm a stalker friend so... Yeah.

[-Z-]

Lol, whoops. I only saw one. xD

[Al the Dalek]

My ideas died a horrible death. But yay! I have returned! Stalkers, rejoice! For Xialburg is...going to do...Xialburg things. Yeahbammooo! Let's get to some Noobcaky goodness!

Dear Noobcake,

So we got back. None of us were injured. Unless scared mentally counts.
I will never underestimate cats again.
The next day was Friday, so me and Purna went to my mom's house. She gave me some roller blades because apparently I need to get my lazy butt of the couch.
I GET OFF THE COUCH.
Occasionally.
I went out to roller blade, i. e. fall on my face. Sashay came over, and I started getting good.
That's when things got BAD.
I decided that you know what? Hills are cool.
Hills mean you can be lazy and you don't have to move your paws.
So I went down.
Unfortunately it was steeper than it looked. I went really fast. Sashay was at the bottom of the hill, and my roller blade hit a rock.
And I stumbled.
It knocked me off course so I rocketed straight into Sashay.
We skidded a little and I got a nasty road rash. Literally there was beautiful green fur on the pavement. Sashay got pretty hurt too.
She started shrieking. I hurried back to my mom's house with her and we drove her to the hospital.
It shouldn't have been that bad. I only knocked into her.
But I broke her front leg.
I BROKE IT.
She had to get a cast and everything!
I feel freaking awful.
It's my fault.
Maybe that makes her coming up to me, slapping me with her nonbroken front leg, and walking away saying, "Don't call me," hurt more.
The day sort of went on. I hung out and helped Gothie with his community service. We painted some fences. Gothie shrugged upon me telling him what happened.
"Hey. No big Wing-Man. She wasn't really your type either. Seemed more like your sister. That is like, totally against the rules and laws of nature, dude."
"Okay. Gross comparison, but okay. But now I have no girlfriend. Beauty hates me and so does Sashay. What do I do?"
Gothie thought a moment. "Hey. I could hook you up with my brother. He practically wrote the book on understanding girls. I don't know how he found out, but I guess a lot of chocolate and flowers were involved."
"Thanks Go-WAIT. Hold that thought. You have a brother? What the smeg? You were planning telling me this when? Why isn't he at school or-"
"CHILLAX Wing-Man!" Gothie groaned. "Me and him, we don't see each other that often. He lives a few hours away. Well, more like twelve. His name's Jack and he's 21."
"Oh," I said, a little lamely.
"Anyway, he's coming here to see me next week, so I can let'cha know. He'll help you get Beauty back."
"Why are you helping me?" I asked, and I had a vague suspicion that I had asked this question before.
Gothie hesitated, his paintbrush dripping paint onto the sidewalk. He felt his scratched eye, from when Snowie had abused him. "No reason," he said finally, but I felt like he was...not being entirely truthful.
Anyway. Have to go.

See ya Noobcake.

DUNDUNDUN. I have a vague idea that this hesitation will provide a plot! YAY! A PLOT! I have found it!

[KittyKat7658]

Yay!

[Keelan Windweever]

O_O I has a stalker.

You has 2

Actually, I was her first stalker. >_> Deal with it.

[Al the Dalek]

Yes, but you were my irl sort of stalker without creepy qualities. Be naice Pengy.

Dear Noobcake,

Almost a week has gone by.
WELL....three days.
That counts.
Totally.
Haven't done much. I went against Sashay's order and tried calling her again but she wouldn't answer. Dangit.
Gothie called me over, and told me that his brother was over. So I flew over. Gothie's parents...adopted parents weren't home. I rang the doorbell, and I noticed that there was loud music playing from inside.
This wolf answered the door. I don't know who she was even. She winked and let me in.
Gothie's house...was weirdly normal. I expected a dungeon.
Well if you could call dimly lit even for noon, with streamers, disco lighting, snacks...and lots of dancing wolves normal.
Gothie staggered up to me. He looked exhausted. "What up?" he said.
"Um...you know...you said your brother was here," I said, looking around. "Isn't this a weird time to have a party?"
"It's been going on since nine."
"Nine in the morning?!"
"No. Nine last night."
Woah. This must be some party. Gothie dragged me over to a corner, and introduced me to his brother, Jack.
Jack was currently surrounded by female wolves, who kept fawning over him and stuff. Jack winked, and parted his way out of them. "Now ladies, I have to spend quality time with my brother. Family is very important." The female wolves groaned, but goodnaturedly, and walked away.
Jack shook my paw. "So, you're the wolf that my bro was talking about? The one with the lady troubles?"
I blinked, but answered. "Um...yeah. Uh, why is there a party?"
Jack laughed. "Oh, just my natural charm, 'course! Can't help but nab a party along the way. Anyway, so Gothie told me about your predicament."
I followed Gothie with my eyes as he stumped across the dance floor and passed out on the couch. He must have been up for ages. Everyone else looked as if they had just been dancing for five minutes. Weird. "Um...yeah. So...can you help me?"
Jack laughed again. He liked laughing. "Of course, little dude!" I tensed a little on "little". I was tall. "Thing is, she's got another boyfriend, yeah? Have you ever heard of something called a red herring?"
I stared at him. "Yeah! I actually...had a sort of red herring girlfriend...but she didn't pay attention."
"You sure?" said Jack, smirking. "Anyway. She's trying to make you jealous. She didn't stoop to a pity date, or she wasn't so desperate for a friend of the male variety that she took anything she could get. She picked out the wolf most likely to make you green with envy...if you can get any greener. She got a three tailed, and those fellas are said to have the best careers for some reason. Somethin' about luck. And he's a football player, double whammy."
I blinked. I hadn't thought of that before. "Oh," I said, a little lamely.
Jack laughed...again. His laugh was odd. It was quiet, somehow like a snicker without the rude qualities. "What'cha gotta do first bro, is establish yourself as a friend. Let yourself be comfortable in her presence. Don't get clingy or intrude on private moments. Let her have some space."
"Wow...this makes sense!" I said.
Jack clapped me on the back. "Yes. Yes it does. Now let's party, little dude. Life is short and we are too pretty to let it go to waste!" He walked back into the party.
That...didn't even make sense.
Anyway, I'm dead tired. And sore.
I danced a lot and then Gothie's parents came home and found Jack messing the place up. Jack is apparently their true son...and yeah.
Sooooo. Yeaaah.
YEAH.

See ya Noobcake.

[Al the Dalek]

Read the first page for information about the poll before you vote!
Dear Noobcake,

Okay. Establish myself as a friend. Yeay. Okay. Cool. Yeah. Uh huh.
But she is so pretty! How can I just be her friend?
Anyway.
For the first time in like forever, I called Beauty. Hopefully she wasn't still mad at me and would answer.
She answered!
"What do you want?" she said warily, but at least she didn't sound as if she wanted to rip my face off.
At least she answered.
"Um...yeah..." I mumbled. "Erm...it's Xialburg...I'm just you know...calling because...I wanted to say...sorry and stuff for stuff I can't remember...um...stuff like that and...I just was wondering...if we could still be...just friends."
There was a pause on the other line, and then a sigh.
"Geez, Xialburg. You take forever. Finally you realize it...yeah, that's cool! It's great...to be just friends."
"Wait, what? You were waiting for me to say it?"
Beauty laughed, and I could hear someone else laughing the background. She probably had me on speakerphone. Whatever. It didn't matter. I didn't care. "Well duh, stupidhead! Guys think that when a girl asks them to be just friends, they think, oh they hate me they hate me, i want them to be my girlfriend, and then they just pine after them. If you say it yourself well...I trust you."
I grinned widely. "Wow...that's just...wow. This is...this is great!" More laughter on the other line, and not from Beauty.
"Hey Xi," said Beauty. "You wanna bring Gothie or something and we can head to the mall? I have a friend over. Her name's Icy. You know her?"
I shook my head, but then I realized duh she couldn't see me. "Nah, I don't. But sure, that sounds great. Meet at the funky statue?"
The funky statue was an odd sort of thing. It always seemed to be in a different position every day. As if it moved. Some people claimed it was alive, but I think personally people probably bring in a new statue every day. Which is odd, but it's the only logical explanation.
Beauty laughed again. I missed hearing her laugh. "Yeah sure. Creepo. That statue is so abnormal. It lost its leg the other day. Randomly. It just was there, and it had no leg. And it had scratched, like it was fighting! Who chooses these things? Oh, and catch this. It's gone. So we'll just meet at the pedestal."
"Yeah, I know, I saw," I said, and then she said bye and hung up. I stared at my phone a bit before punching the air with my paw. Yes! My first step to getting my girlfriend back!
I called up Gothie, and told him about it. When I told him we were meeting at the funky statue there was silence from the other line, and what sounded like heavy footfalls that sounded like crashes and banging, like stone on tile, stomped out of the room. "What was that?" I asked.
"Nothing," said Gothie fiercely, and I vowed never to ask that question ever again. He might dismember me in the night. "So you and Beauty are just friends right now?" he asked.
"Yep!" I said.
More silence. Gothie breathed out, a long sigh that rattled a bit. It was so creepy on the phone. "Alright. Meet you at the statue."
"The pedestal, because the-" But Gothie had already hung up.
Huh.
Anyway, I'll write some more in a bit.

See ya Noobcake.

[Al the Dalek]

Removed