[Jotakira]

Ugh... Another day at school. I feel like a zombie. Seriously. I just wake up, eat, go to school, eat, sleep. Now, during the summers... I actually felt like I was living. Now I feel undead. I see everyone at school chatting and having fun. I wanna join in, but I CAN'T. I just... there's this irrational fear holding me back from even making eye contact. A teacher yelled at me and my old crush (who now is my tormentor) stared at me. I couldn't look at him and started feeling dizzy and nauseous because everyone was staring. I was pacing at recess and no one else was there, and I felt like they were waiting for me to stumble or something so they can laugh. I know they're whispering about me when they whisper. What else to whisper about? I'm bugged by something last year, someone whispered to someone else. I only heard 'she's...' and then whispering. I can't shake that awful feeling I got and I just want to disappear for a week or two, to just vanish from the earth and see who would lose sleep. Who would cry. And I just wonder if anyone else I know of has S.A.D.

[Hyensa]

You might have anxiety. I have it Severely.
It seems like a good idea to talk to a parent/guardian about this stress.
I didn't talk about it until it got really bad, and by then my chest pain and fear was unbearable.

[Jotakira]

I know, I found it out a while ago...
I'm trying to fix it now, and I'm really trying but I can't...
But I hate that feeling, and its hard to push it away. I think I'm getting better - I talk to people more than before, but not by much.

[Hyensa]

You shouldn't let people talking about you bother.
I mean- It CAN hurt, but some people just do it to do it.
It's a horrible thing, but people do it.
Mostly, in my opinion, I try to tell people honestly-
You should get over it.
You have more important things in life to do!
[Get over it as in get over the problem; getting over an obstacle, wall, etc, not the rude way].
One day it wont matter what they said.
That's just my honest opinion though. I cope by music and hating the people that do me harm.
I won't give them the satisfaction of being humiliated and caused discomfort.

[Jotakira]

I know, its not a very rational fear. But its hard, I'll keep trying though. Thank you for your comments. =)
One of these days I'll be strong enough. And the victory will be so much sweeter because of the previous struggle, y'know? Thanks again. ^^

[Hyensa]

You're welcome!
If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm free. ^.^

[Jotakira]

Alright. :3

[ratsy]

Aww...please don't feel that way. *hugs and hands cookie*.
By S. A. D., do you mean seasonal affective disorder? One of my friends has that.

[Zyton]

People just misunderstand you. I have Autism, so people often make fun of me. Just shake it off, try to aproach a small group and try to have a conversation. I do that all the time (Im sensitive to light and loud sounds, so you can scare me easily with ethier two)

[Jotakira]

@Lena.
Social Anxiety Disorder.. *accepts cookie and hugs back* I don't recall when it started, but... somewhere in 4th grade? *shrugs* I can thank my classmates and several other people I know for this..

@ChipStar
People in my school spread nasty rumours about people who are shy or quiet... I'm a victim of that. I think they just make fun because we're different. But being different is good, you're actually one of a kind, unique and special. I usually try but I can't find the right words to say... And then if someone talks to me I sort of lose my voice. Its really strange, like my vocal cords just stop working and I get kinda dizzy depending on who it is and what they said. E.c; A friend asking for a pencil. I give them the pencil and twitch a bit then turn around and stare into space as usual. E.c; The guy in my school asking me "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!?" like he always does. I flinch and tremour violently, then whisper 'nothing' and get dizzy. I dunno. Its confusing.