Crushes, Boyfriends, and Girlfriends | V4

[FoxerOwl]

How would you define clingy? As in, the girl is too clingy to the guy, not the other way around.

Because I think my boyfriend dumped me because I was too clingy //sigh

[panhead]

hello. I'd luff some help!

Alright.for three years I have liked this boy. The first year I liked him, I had told not a soul. We actually hung out, we would talk in the few classes we had together, and we got close. But then the next year I had one class with him, and literally he was all the way across the room from me. So, we never talked. And when we did, it was those stupid conversations. Like "is that your jacket on the lost and found?" Or "can I have some scissors?" Ugh -.- I should have done better things with my time. This year, I am only 4 days into the school year and I am exploding with love. I can't stop. He's in all but two of my classes, and we actually sit really close in science. :3
But lately one of my friends has been talking to him a lot. Like, they call each other and they talk nonstop all day. Just to test something, I squeeze hugged my friend REALLY hard and the first thing she did was call his name. I've already told one of my guy friends (which happen to be my crushes guy friend), and so now it turns out that my guy friend likes my friend, so overall we are both scared to death that something is going on between my girl friend and my crush....

On the positive side of things, my friend told me to keep my chin up and he might feel something for me even if it is the smallest thing, things like that grow, ovo.



Thanks. :3

What kind of "help" are you looking for.? Your message didn't make it clear ^•^If you never told your female friend that you liked him, there isn't really a code of ethics restricting her. Maybe she llliked him for three years too, and just decided to make a move.
Or are you asking for help with how to talk to him and whatnot.?

How to talk to him. My female friend has made it clear to me that shes not trying to be that way, it just came with the story kinda. had to dump all my thoughts in one thread. sorry.

[lioness99a]

Feeling a bit bummed out right now... Today was the first day back at school and I was looking forwards to being able to get closer to my crush (who's my age) now that his ex (my best friend) has left the school to go to university but he told me today that they're together again... I think this deserves a bit of back story so here goes:

I've known her for 6 years and we're very close. She knew him for a month or so before I did (they worked together) and said that he was very similar to me. He joined our school last September and she was right - he was pretty much a male me! However, he had a crush on her and asked her out in November. They went out for 10 days and then she broke up with him because her childhood crush had asked her out. She told me that it hadn't really been working out between the two of them anyway and it wouldn't have lasted for too much longer then. During that time, my crush on him had developed quite a lot. After that, we started getting closer and were both flirting with each other. I'm not a very forward person so I was trying to find the courage to ask him out. This went on for quite a few months but I was always slightly discouraged by my female friend still sort of flirting with him. She broke up with her boyfriend in May and then it was exams season so I didn't see much of either of them but, whenever I did, they were always flirting with each other. However, the last few weeks of term were much better because she wasn't there (that sounds really bad of me to say but I don't think they will ever last as a couple - they're too different - and I guess I was a little annoyed with her for doing it since she knew I liked him...). We then broke up for summer and I saw him several times. I drove him to meet up with other friends because I've passed my test and he hasn't! We would tease each other and generally flirt, walk really close and quite regularly he would put his face near mine when talking to me... I was getting quietly confident that he liked me, especially when he came to work to see me and asked me if I was free to go see something with him! I was planning on giving it a couple of days to settle back into school and then tell him how I felt and hopefully ask him out. But then today he just casually dropped it into conversation that he was going out with her again. I don't think it's really sunk in yet, probably because I don't know the details behind who asked who and how long it's been going on. The part that confuses me is that she hasn't said anything to me about it (and I told her after they broke up in November that I liked him) and I was talking to a guy who likes her who was saying that he couldn't sleep but he had sworn not to talk about why which makes me think she's trying to keep it from me... I haven't spoken to her in a little while though so she could just want to tell me herself and not have me find out from someone else... And also, he hasn't changed how he behaves towards me at all... He still flirts like he used to do and we 'bicker like an old married couple' (as said by a mutual friend..!) so I'm a little confused. I know I can't act on my feelings (I would never do that to such a close friend) but I can't help but wonder why they're going out if he still clearly likes me...

Sorry that it's really long, I just needed to get all that off my chest and try and sort out my brain... I wouldn't mind a few pointers as to what to do but I think I'm just going to do what I did when they last went out and just be a good friend to them and hopefully he'll get the hint if they ever break up...

Update:
He was talking about his summer to a mutual friend at school today and he brought up her. He said that he was 'technically going out with her' and, when asked what he meant by technically, he said that the words 'will you go out with me' had never been uttered by either of them but he thought they were going out anyway. He also said that he didn't want to ask her out (or something to that effect anyway). I know that she has never asked a guy out - she believes in them asking her out - and that she wouldn't say she was going out with someone until those words had been said. Now I'm just a bit confused because he was texting her a bit from school (but not loads) but he was also talking to me in the way he always has (which I consider flirting as do most of the people around us who think we're already going out...). He was sitting a little further away than he used to, although it has been quite hot so that's kind of understandable but he came with me when I was going places even though it was out of his way and texted me from his form room to tell me stuff which could have waited until he saw me but he wanted to tell me sooner...

What do you guys think? I still can't get hold of her to ask her side but part of me has cheered up a bit from yesterday

[saturday.]

I'd love to help some people out here right now, but I'm much too worried about my own problems right now. I'msosorry ;-;

anyways... me and my boyfriend have been very distant lately. I mean...it's not even ME, it's HIM. he completely ignores me in school! and when I do try talking to him, he just walks away and talks to this other group....this other group of girls. and he sits with them at lunch and talks to them inbetween periods and everything, but all he does with me all day is just say hi and smile at me. that's it.

like, at lunch and stuff, when I try to talk to him, it's usually just a small conversation that ends when he walks away to hang out with his group of friends.

should I be disturbed that he's spending more time with other girls than he is with me, or am I just worrying about nothing? I feel like such a jealous brat..

You're being the opposite of a jealous brat. A jealous brat is when a girl see's her man looking at someone else and throws a tantrum. You have complete right to be worried here.

Now, if he seems to be spending more time around these new girls, there's nothing more I can say than to talk to him. After school one day, between passing time, or somewhere else in a public setting, but not so loud where you can't hear each other. Being in a private setting would make it more awkward in case things go wrong (Which I hope they don't!).

I would ask him if you two could talk for a few minutes, and if he says no, don't take that for an answer. Pull him off to the side if you have to, not stomping however. Ask him what's up, and why he's been paying so much attention to these other girls. If he calls you anything bad, whether it be a swear or just jealous, don't hole up and accept that. You obviously don't want to be screaming and demanding, but try and figure out what's been going on with him.

I wish you the best of luck!

thank you!! your help means a lot!! thank you I'll try that ok thank you fhdsghdsjkld<333

[badghostie.]

If I had the relationship experience, I'd help others. Trust me,
but I have literally zero experience; apart from having been on one date. This year.
Which is rather sad, considering my age. Moving on! :T

Now, I've known this guy for going on two years. We never talked until this
year, but I've known who he was. According to my mom, he's always stared
at me. He's a really awkward, shy guy; all on top of social anxiety.
We started texting each other last month after we went to karaoke night
and a mutual friend of ours told him I thought he was cute. He used to text
me quite often, and tell me I was cute and he was so, so sweet all the time.
Now he barely texts me back. But he told our mutual friend that he wanted to
hang out with me, but have it be just me and him this time. The two times we've
hung out we've had a friend with us. The first time we hung out though, we all
watched a movie together and he kept laying his head on my shoulder, and on
my lap and (even though he doesn't like people touching his hair) he let me play
with his hair when he put his head on my lap. He even held my hand.
He flirted more than any other guy I've hung out with before, and he'd bump into
me and touch my arm. When it's just us he flirts a lot; but when our friends are
around he's really shy and just stares at me and bumps me a little. Now, I really
like this guy. Because he's sweet, and he appreciates the little things I do for him.
He told me that he isn't used to people being so nice to him, so maybe I'm just being
too nice? Is my niceness scaring him off or something? I could be overthinking it all;
but whenever we text I just get this "I don't really want to talk to you, but I'll
text you back because I'd feel bad if I ignored you" vibe from his side. It just kinda
seems like he was really into me in the beginning, and now he never has time to
talk to me. I don't text him constantly or anything, because I don't want to bug him
or weird him out or anything. I've given him his space, but I don't understand why he'd
tell our friend that he wants to hang out with just me; but never ask if I'm busy on his
day off or something. And when I ask if he wants to hang out, he rarely texts back.
He works full time, but here recently he's gotten quite a few days off. I'm just completely
confused by this whole thing; because our friend keeps telling me that this guy likes me
and he wants to hang out; but nothing. Is he afraid or something? Maybe it's his social
anxiety or the thought of being alone with me that gets him to avoid asking me to hang?
Or is he just not as interested in me anymore? I'm so sorry if this sounds stupid, I just don't
want to lose this guy. I'd appreciate it if someone PM'd me a response, so I can get out
our whole story. I don't want to keep rambling lol. Thanks for reading, whoever you are!
I hope you can help me, and help me and this guy get somewhere. :3

[Refugee]

I find that people, even myself, tend to dwell on the statement "I want ____ back (insert thing from past)". I think it is because we have such fantastic memories in our heads, that we compare new, and rather exciting, things to them. Was the camp staff as great as last year? How was the food? Did the songs sound just right? The problem is, it will never be as good. Those are once in a lifetime oportunities that we just can't get back.

About 3 months ago, to the day, my youth pastor died. He meant the world to me. He brought me out of my shell, made me feel whole. He made me love to go to church. I actually made friends, and that is where i met the guy I am about to ask out to homecoming( I will talk about that later). When he died, a little part of me did too. It is still missing, and I know it will never be replaced. Anyways, this new guy came in. His name was Joseph ( changed the name). He took the place of Mike. I, to be honest, hated him before I even met him. Was he bald? no. Did he do crazy stuff like mike did? no. I hated how he made his wife take notes. Sexist! I hated how he conducted youth group. Lazy! I hated every single thing about him.

Then, one day, I stopped. i stopped hating him. I looked at myself, comparing everything. for god's sake, I was treating Joseph exactly opposite than how mike would've planned. I cried, and cried, and cried. I came to a sudden realization that Mike was gone, forever. Let me tell you, that SUCKED. Soon, I started accepting him. I started having fun, actually. If I hadn't come to slap myself, I probably would've gone and hung with "that crowd your parents tell you to stay away from".

The point is, the past is gone. You can't judge based on the past. The past is past, and the future is now. Get to know the new Brian, be open! If you don't like him, cry. It's healthy to cry when you are sad; but don't be sad forever. Don't compare other guys to him. Know what you want, and get it. You are strong, babe. Show Brian the you you want to see, not the you that you think he wants to see.

Thank you so much for your enlightening opinion. You seem wise beyond your years. I will take that advice to heart and forget about Brian if he can forget about me that easily. There are plenty of guys out there. If he doesn't realize what I mean to him, then I'm better off finding someone worth my time and patience. If he can prove that this new version of him and that his change was for the good, then I will keep him around.

You're right about holding onto the past is a bad comparison. Things from the past seem better because at the time I was living it, I didn't realize what I had until it was gone. My dog died about a month ago, and I still wish he were here. But there's nothing I can do to turn back time.

Thank you a ton for the amazing advice, and I am very sorry at your loss for Mike.
Bless you,
Zelda

[soreii]

So, I guess you could say things are going okay for me... though I have a little question.

I'm not sure what boys and girls that like each other do, this is my first time being in a relationship and I actually don't even know if we're dating right now.
When I go back to school tomorrow i'll probably ask him, he isn't all that shy unlike me.

[Me <3]

I just don't know. Everything people says involves time and the future but what do I do now? What do I do tomorrow? His locker is right next to mine and she's bound to be hanging on him. I can't stand it. I'm not okay. I have no one.

FTLR ok so you should be honest if he's with her and its bothering you, you could ask nicely if they didn't hang there. Also I think your exaggerating. You have friends and family right? If you have a pet there great listeners and never interrupt. Think this "Wow he fell into her arms that easily do I really want to be with some one like that?" Think of things that you didn't like about him, ok that's sounds mean but don't focus on what you losing focus on what your gaining, like more free time to study and to have fun. Personally I find other people draining so I love to have my free alone time even if I like my pals. Maybe your like that and you'll find being alone is nice and unwinding. So just ignore him he wants a reaction out of you if they don't move or he fights about it so ignore him and act cool.

[Saren]

Someone help me, someone help me please. :'(

If you remember me, my boyfriend broke up with me about two weeks ago. He was saying things like "i'm just not feeling it" and that he didn't want to marry me which is ridiculous because we're only in High School. Everything in our relationship was perfect until we broke up. Everything was perfect, except one thing. A girl meddling to break us up so she could be with him. And she succeeded.

He stressed to me a lot that he did not cheat on me and did not break up with me to be with her. But I told him that I gave him one, maybe two weeks or, even rarely, the rest of this month before they start dating. This morning, a day before two weeks since he dumped me, he texted me saying "You gave us a month, and you were right. Just thought I'd let you know."

I can't stop crying. I'm so sad, so angry, so alone and betrayed. I know I can't control who he dates or loves after we have already broken up but it's only been barely two weeks! I'm dying. I can't see them at school tomorrow, I just can't. Their relationship probably won't last long but it hurts so much that she did this to me and he was stupid enough to fall for it. He loved me. He was totally in love with me and she forced him out of it. Now I'm alone and I don't want to be here anymore.

Babe, this sucks. I'm really sorry that this happened to you. You don't want to hear the whole "he's a jerk, get over him" and I know that. It's going to hurt tomorrow when you see him. It's going to sting that he did something like that. And I know you've already been told this a couple times, but it will get better.
When you do see him, just act like yourself. Don't do anything like avoididng eye contact, unless you'd do that normally. But I personally feel that avoiding eye contact implies you're guilty in some way. He probably will, and so will she. Because they are the ones who have reasons to feel guilty. And make them feel bad when you can.
When they break up (which is inevitable) you can just feel smug and satisfied. That might be a few weeks from now, but it will happen. She is a little boyfriend-stealing *inappropriate for CS* and he was an idiot to fall for her. But don't hate him, you can't help it when you like someone.
You can, however, choose whether to act on your feelings and steal someone's boyfriend.
Which this little brat obviously chose to do.
I feel for you sweetie, a few months ago our year at school had some girls on an exchange from America. Now one of these girls was an obvious flirt, and started trying to hang around with my boyfriend a lot. He and I were going through a rough patch in our relationship and this girl caused a lot of arguments between us, even though she was only there for two weeks. He wasn't taken in by her flirting, which I am glad for, and this Friday actually marks 11 months of our relationship. That's nearly a year.
...I had a point with that last paragraph but I forgot it. It's past eleven here okay T-T

[Vampyrum Spectrum]

Okay. I'll just spend as little time at my locker as possible and just not talk or notice them. I will act like myself though or at least try to. Neither of them are worth it, and I realize it. I just know he would still be with me and love me like he did if she was never messing around. He's an idiot and I'm just still so upset, but I will not show it. I just need a distraction or something. At least I only have to be at school for half a day everyday...