{ INKLINGS } LOCK! NEW THREAD

Are you a writer or a poet? Come and share your creations with us, or discuss writing techniques with others
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Please only post your own original work, do not post poetry or stories which were written by someone else.

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Total votes : 272

Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby princess pudding » Sun Aug 11, 2013 10:37 am

nutella ♥ wrote:
nutella ♥ wrote:
Hello c:
I'm writing this story for this thing, and I've just finished writing the rough draft. I've read over I a few times and think its ready to be critiqued before submitted to the thing. So would anyone be interested in reading through it? It's roughly 5000 words, and I cried a little at the end as I was writing it. XD just shoot my a PM if you're interested
Thanks!

      Could I have the basic synopsis, or at least the genre? c:
      I'd most likely be interested in giving it a read through.


      our avatars, omg
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Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby nutella ♥ » Sun Aug 11, 2013 10:55 am

witch. wrote:
nutella ♥ wrote:
nutella ♥ wrote:
Hello c:
I'm writing this story for this thing, and I've just finished writing the rough draft. I've read over I a few times and think its ready to be critiqued before submitted to the thing. So would anyone be interested in reading through it? It's roughly 5000 words, and I cried a little at the end as I was writing it. XD just shoot my a PM if you're interested
Thanks!

      Could I have the basic synopsis, or at least the genre? c:
      I'd most likely be interested in giving it a read through.


      our avatars, omg

    omg how did this happen
    well, I don't want to give too much away, but it's basically just about this guy who starts high school and yeah, it's basically guy-meets-girl type of book, but I really took a dramatic turn at the end. XD it's nothing supernatural or science fiction-y, I figured anything like that would be too long to fit the word count. XD
    And it's based off of the song 'Born to Die' by Lana Del Rey. c:
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.
Somebody left the gate open
You know we got lost on the way
Come save us a runaway train
Goin' insane
How do we
How do we not
fade
How do we how do we
How do we not
fade away
How do we how do we oh

. : ɪ ɴ ᴛ ᴏ ᴛ ʜ ᴇ ᴡ ɪ ʟ ᴅ : .

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

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Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby Derpa Derp » Sun Aug 11, 2013 11:14 am

╰☆╮ I m N o t B r o k e n ╰☆╮


Today was just a normal friday i was walking home with alex and Xavier me and Alex had been friends since kindergarten and Xavier was my boyfriend since we met we had always had a connection but we were both far too shy until Xavier finally gave in and asked me out that was in year eight try two years if dating and one when you both liked eachother my perants dident really approve of Xavier But to be honest i dont think they actually cared Well it dident help that we lived in a bad neighbourhood but everyday Xavier and Alex walked me home then Xavier dropped Alex off i knew Xavier wouldent do anything with my best friend anyways today was my birthday i turned 15 and all my friends had given me gifts besides why wouldent they i had always gven them gifts but yeah as we got to my house he and alex got changed into our bikinis and we just put a singlet and denim shorts over out bikinis and went out grabbing our three boards which we ditched here he grabbed our helmets Xavier took a photo of me and alex and alex of me and Xavier we took off towards the beach all our necassary bags on our backs i laughed as alex came off she was new to skate boarding as we got to the beach we managed to find a decent spot it was just us three and because i was hime alone Xavier and Alex were bith gunna be at mine like we had two spare bedrooms all with a double bed so mum shouldent care? Anyways me and alex took off our shorts and singlets running into the cold water laughing as i tumbled down my hair in a messy bun i looked at Xavier blue eyes meaning to get in i walked out still laughing and dragged him there he wasent a fan of the sea water but went in with us we all laughed as alex tried to swim out really far but what nkne if us knew just further up the ebach was a shark attack anyways none of us got hurt we managed to get Alex back to her waist she was taller than me so it was basically halfway Over my stomach the sun was setting so we decided to head back going to my house we put on a movie while we ordered Pizza and coke it was funny because Xavier payed for it normally i did but i shrugged giving him a kiss on the cheek in two years we hadent gine lips but i shrugged it was fun just beung with him when the movie was over we all got into the shower me and alex washed our air while Xavier dident have to because he dident fall over when we got out of the shower we all went to bed but we just layed there until i got a phine call it was the hospital in America i kne wmy perants where over there for a vacation but why were they at the hospital they were just waning me that dad had a car accident but he was fine and so was mum me alex and Xavier were texting until 5 am then we wnt to bed i dont remember much of last night but i sure dont know why my dog isent with me oh wait he is
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Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby candu » Sun Aug 11, 2013 11:26 am

Zombie, I like it but there are quite a few grammatical and spelling errors.I was really confused about a shark attack?? Also, you forgot punctuation so it's like a huge run on sentence. And also, a few times you said "Xavier and me" but it really should say Xavier and I. You didn't capitalize Alex quite a few times. It really needs work but its a good first start.
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happenings in 2015:
discovered dan + phil,
swam competitively,
went to we day twice,
started listening to p!atd,
got my braces off,
visited family i haven't
seen since like 2004,
tried candy from japan,
saw superwoman and
justin trudeau in person,
got ice cream a lot,
stopped being friends with
some really toxic people,
had an amazing year.

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Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby Derpa Derp » Sun Aug 11, 2013 11:31 am

╔═════════════════
Very sorry about that, my
Ipod was playing up while i
wasWriting it... Anyways thanks,
for Atleast reading it, i actually
Appreciate it, it alot it took me a
While.
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I have school on again and only my phone as we are moving by the way it's me C a I l a I got hacked again!
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Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby Small Child » Sun Aug 11, 2013 11:42 am

Mrs.DeanWinchester wrote:
Never once did it occur to me that I would be laying here. Laying on the cold, cracked ground, with a dagger protruding through my stomach. Warm blood stained my clothes, and more seemed to just pour out of the wound. Jolts of pain surged through my entire body, and I squirm around, trying my best to fight it. Trying my best to survive.
So this is what death is like. Painful, and unforgiving. I would have thought is as calming, and some what soothing. Or I would have thought that forty eight hours ago, before this all happened. Before we all decided to fight. To fight this higher being. But of course, we were all to weak. To weak to move.
I gaze out to the others. The others who had decided to fight beside me. To fight for our freedom, to fight for our survival. But we were foolish, for now we all are going to die. Bodies, lay limp around me, each soaked in the red liquid. Each unrecognizable, for there faces had been torn off. That is when I begin to worry, will I be next? Will I turn into one of them, the unrecognizable? Or will I bleed out before he can torture me any further. No, I will not die, I will not let him hurt me any longer. I must fight. I must win, for I am a Human, and we Humans don't give up to easily.





"Amber, lets just get the damn things and go." sighed the agitated man next to me. His hand rubbed the temples, and then quickly smoothing back his sleek brown hair. Stubble covered his chin, and cheeks. A sign of needing a shave. But of course, there was no time for that.
"Hold your horses Aiden. Its going to take a little longer than a few minutes to get these things." I growl as I reach up for the door handle. "We need to make sure none of 'them' are in there." My hand twitches as I twist the knob and open a small crack in the door. My eyes peer through the hole as I glance around the small shop we were about to enter. There was no movement form inside, a good sign. But, our eyes can be deceiving.
"Hand me the dog meat." I instructed as my hand flies next to Aiden. He began to grumble and pulled out a small slab of meat and placed it in my hand. A soon as the slimy meat touched my hand, I through it through the crack of the door and waited. Silence fill the store, and then the sound of scuttling. I held my breath as I watched two humanoid creatures appear from the dark and lunge at the meat. Both of their sharp teeth barred, and began to rip the meat to shreds. But once they had finished the slab, they lok up, straight through the crack and at me. Their faces had been torn off, only leaving their mouth.
I jump and close the door. Quickly I turn to Aiden. "There's two of 'them'." I sigh shaking my head. "But, nothing we can't handle."
Aiden flashed a toothy grin and reached out for the only weapon we had with us at the time. It was a small dagger, no bigger than the size of your hand.
"You idiot, I told you to bring the revolver." I hiss as I look down at the puny knife.
"What? This is my lucky knife! It saved my life you know." he responded with a smirk.
"Great, now were screwed. Do you really think that think is going to kill off both of those things?" I open the door just a crack to be jumped at by one of 'them.' He knocked me over and I hit the ground with a loud thud. A warm feeling trickled down my neck, causing the thing to go mad. He attempted to claw the living daylights out of me, but I manage to push him off and crawl away. A sudden shrill scream echoed through the area and I glance back to see Aiden stabbing the creature with the knife. When I turned away to get up, I was yet again knocked over by the second one. His teeth sunk into my neck, which made me the one to scream. Blood spilled over me, and I tried to push this one off as well. But he wouldn't budge. He wouldn't get off of me.
"Aiden!" I scream as I tried to get his attention away from the creature he was currently after. But the creature wouldn't die, so he continued on.
I then glance around, looking for anything to be able to get him off of me. That is when I saw it. A rock that laid no more than three feet away from me. If i could just reach it, I might be able to smash it over his head. Quickly, my hand extended towards the rock. My finger tips grazed the end of it lightly, it was to far.
"Aiden, help!" I scream once more as I try to reach for the rock. As soon as my finger tips grazed the rock again, I felt a weight lifted off me. I peer up to find the creature gone, and Aiden over me, protecting me. His shirt was stained with green, and red blood. I watch him silently kill off the other creature before kneeling down to me. He placed a hand gently on my neck, trying to stop the blood flow.
"Amber, its okay. Everything is going to be okay." he whispered gently as he picked me up. "I'm going to take you back and have James look at you."
All I could do was give him a small nod of my head. My vision began to fail, and straight lines became wavy, blurry ones. Then my lights went out.





"Amber, Amber do you hear us?" called a voice from beyond. I could hear the distress it was in. Slowly I began to open my eyes, revealing the tinted baby blue coloring. Blinding lights filtered through, causing me to squint as I looked around. Ever so slowly was I able to make out figures. Tall people that is.
"Good god Amber, scaring us like that." hissed a males voice that I instantly recognized as my friend Aiden's.
"Aiden, calm down. You both have the blame in this one." called out another.



Hey guys, I was wonder how does this story sounded so far ;)

Awesomely done!
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Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby candu » Sun Aug 11, 2013 11:42 am

Oh you wrote it on an iPod? Oh I understand now. But yeah, it was still good! Maybe try rewriting it when you can! I may be able to understand it better.
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happenings in 2015:
discovered dan + phil,
swam competitively,
went to we day twice,
started listening to p!atd,
got my braces off,
visited family i haven't
seen since like 2004,
tried candy from japan,
saw superwoman and
justin trudeau in person,
got ice cream a lot,
stopped being friends with
some really toxic people,
had an amazing year.

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/. ImageImage
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Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby Derpa Derp » Sun Aug 11, 2013 12:09 pm

╔═════════════════
Yeah it took a while... But i
can type really fast on it at times.
It only took a hour, but thats because
Of a smashed screen.
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I have school on again and only my phone as we are moving by the way it's me C a I l a I got hacked again!
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Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby #hashtag » Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:10 am

Lilysplash wrote:
Autumn Frost. wrote:
~~
Thank you, I was asking for any FF acounts because My real life BFF Is flamekat and she is quite big on there~

Thank you for breaking it down, Its now alot easier now. Guys I may ask a lot of questions as I have only just started writing stories and my writing so far is very poor. I will post the intro once I have done it.

I don't have an account yet, but read all the time! Wow! You know flamekat? c: I heard that she's really good.


You've heard that, about me???? (This is "Flamekat") Whoa :D
. . .
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Links to your story if you have any: Not appropriate for this site.
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Re: { INKLINGS } A Thread For Writers

Postby amber. » Mon Aug 12, 2013 5:38 am

Hi guys! c:

I'm currently writing a small little story, nothing major and I'm not sure if anything will come from it. I have a few things figured out and the main character has a best friend. I've got a good idea of how I want her to act and stuff but I want her to be very alluring if anyone were to ever read any of my writings.

So, what qualities do you guys look for in a best friend? or what qualities does your best friend have that you love and admire?


(I do have an excerpt from a chapter that I would be willing to let you read if you'd like to see the basics of what I have for the best friend character. Just PM me, please.)
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