Dear Noobcake by Xialburg (Updates Every Other Weekend)

[ode-to-joy]

marking.
you aere killing me with the suspence!!!!!!!!!

[Noctyrn]

Bookmark. NOT DYING!

[Al the Dalek]

Dear Noobcake,

Okay. Maybe we weren't going to die.
But have you ever been stuck in a car with your...girlfriend...your ex-girlfriend, and your ex-girlfriend's boyfriend?
Yeah.
"Maybe we'll be stuck out here forever and be forced to eat each other!" said Sashay.
"I vote Emrr first!" I said.
"Hey!" said Emrr and Beauty.
"Joke! Just a joke! Sheesh..." I grumbled. "Well. Where the smeg are we?" I added peering out of the window.
Sashay took out her cell phone. "Congratulations! We have no reception!"
"Um...okay," I said. "Let's send out um...a scout. Do go scout, and tell us if we're about to be devoured by bears or something."
"Well, why don't you do it?" growled Beauty.
"I'm disabled!" I said indignantly.
Everyone turned to look at me. "How?!" Sashay exclaimed.
"I am disabled by my undeniable hotness. It limits my movements to only awesome ones," I snapped.
Sashay blinked. Then we all started laughing.
Beauty wiped her eyes, and said, "Well, why don't we all go? We can start walking until we find a road, or reach the next country. We're bound to run into civilization sometime."
Awww she's so smart.
I didn't think she was serious until Sashay was dragging me out, and Beauty was prying Emrr's paws away from the door.
"You guys...are such...wimps!" snarled Sashay. "Emrr, you were on the football team! I'm ashamed of you!"
Finally we were off walking. We had no flashlights, and Sashay's cell phone wouldn't work because it shuts down without reception. So we kept bumping into trees and stuff.
After a long time I looked at my watch, which was one of those cool glowy ones. "Um...it's 1:00 in the morning."
"We have been walking for that long?! We should be home by now!!!" shrieked Beauty. "WHAT THE HECK?! I WANT TO GET HOME!"
"Let's find somewhere to crash for the night," I said. "Like...um...a hollow tree...or um..."
"A cave?" sighed Sashay.
"Yeah! A cave would be great!" I said excitedly.
Sashay pointed. There was a cave, so we all trooped toward it. We could only tell it was there because the moon had come out from behind a cloud.
We all went in.
We started falling asleep, and we had to huddle together for warmth because it gets freaking cold at night. Ha ha. Emrr got the far edge and I got to be in the warm middle.
I was the only one awake after a while.
Except...there was something else in the cave, and its eyes lit up in the darkness.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[FoodIsYummy]

OMG! This is great! I read all of it...just now. Really. All thirteen pages. I can't wait to read more!
ps, this is a bookmark.

[Al the Dalek]

Dear Noobcake,

So my scream woke everyone up, and the glowy-eyed thing roared.
This kind of cut off Beauty's growl of, "Xialburg what the-" And we just took off running.
I've never run that fast before in my life. I could fly, but leaving behind everyone was too cowardly.
The moon was brighter because it was later, and we saw what it was.
IT WAS A FREAKING LION.
...okay not a LION. Maybe a mountain lion. Like um...puma. Type. Thing.
IT WAS FREAKING SCARY. A LION. Thing.
"Climb a tree!" I yelled.
"We don't have wings to help us, idiot!" Sashay screamed.
Heh heh. Wolves can't climb. Except us winged ones.
We ran very fast, even for wolves. I think I might have broken a world record. But funny fact.
Mountain lions are faster when they're hungry.
The only time I felt closer to dying that night is when Snowie shot me. You know, Gothie's birth mom.
Suddenly headlights lit up the darkness, and a car skidded in front of us. The wolf in the car rolled down the window.
Gothie.
"Holy crap it's a lion!" he exclaimed. "Get in the car!"
Someone flung the doors open and I dived in, quickly I was smushed by Emrr, Beauty, and Sashay. Sashay pulled the doors closed and the lion roared again.
It attacked the car.
A lot.
Its paws battered the side, and its face was pressed against the window.
I had squirmed out from the wolf pile and I yelled "DRIVE IDIOT!"
Gothie floored the accelerator and we drove away, and there was a loud screeching as the lion attempted to keep its paws embedded in the car.
Wolves have very good hearing. So it was very very annoying.
And scary.
"This is two cars you owe me now, G!" sighed a voice in the front seat. After struggling up, but being squished against the door due to the fact there were four wolves in a back seat meant for 2 adults and a child, barely saw anything. But it sounded like Heidi, and this made sense.
"How did you find us, Heidi?" Beauty asked, which confirmed my theory.
Heidi up front laughed.
"Easy. Gothie, you explain."
Gothie sighed as he steered us back towards a road. Ha ha...it might have been smart to keep walking along a road.
"Like Heidi said. Easy. Every cell phone leaves a trace. I slight energy thing. Even if there was no reception, it would still give off something as it tried to connect itself. All I had to do was find all cell phones that had traveled with their owner to the restaurant. Since your cell phone was not on, I looked at other readings, finding one to a certain point that was turned on, but received no signal, in the radius where you could be. I followed your path and…”
“My brain hurts…” I groaned, but I sort of got it. “Thank you dude.”
Gothie bobbed his head like he was tipping a hat, except without the hat. “You owe me big, Wingman.”
Seeyou Noobcake. Really tired.

[KittyKat7658]

bump!

[The Owl]

(Bump)

[-Z-]

Username: Z.
Level of Lol (1 to 10): 9893837487326093287491654981384960984793740982374092649871697835126308176548976319476523978469873243652839765974987209462396487263597289354624786582746598247650260198765487265094650879465876425876280756942786589465984276584765984746598746593. x3
Compliments: I love how Xialburg calls the diary 'noobcake.' I like your style of writing and can't wait for more! ^^
Criticism: Nothing.
Other: I think I'm going to stalk you. Now you have two stalkers. ^__^
Wait, I've been informed that there are now actually five stalkers. xD

(Just kidding... xD)

[KittyKat7658]

Actually it's 3. =3 There were two before you.

[Darkdreamer]

(there are now 4 anounced stalkers.)