Write a Letter you Cannot Send (Read the Rules!)

[camiecat03]

To no one in particular
I haven't really cried in a long time. This long time I've needed it the most. I'm scared someone will hear and then they will worry about things they can't fix. They'll worry about me when they have so many problems on their own. I always want to help others, and my problems aren't that bad. It's just a divorce, it's almost been a year now. It still hurts but i can survive. And It's just me making stupid decisions making me feel far away from my faith when I need it the most. I'm afraid to tell anyone that I'm in pain. Some days it's easier to walk around numb. But I can't, I hurt people when I do. I put on a smile but for once can't someone look through it. I've never told anyone I write because I'm so afraid to talk. I say the wrong things. I stutter and mix up words, and I hate it. I don't think I could teach because I wouldn't be very good at explaining. I am happy, I mean I love my family, my friends, I have no right to complain. But, it still hangs there... I just needed to get it out there... Just to vent.
But in other news. I have been text messaging this guy and he is so sweet. He has liked me for 5 years. Recently, he has made me feel something new. I can't help but smile when we talk. We tease each other, tell each other secrets and we even were talking about dates and it just makes me feel all happy. I'm scared, but maybe it's the good kind of scared. If I wasn't scared, then I wouldn't mind if it didn't work out, right? I really hope everything works out. I'm crossing my fingers.
Emotionally mixed up,
CiCi03

[firedance101]

Dear self
Do yourself a favor and stop doing this to yourself.
Hurt alone, it's easier for everyone.

-fire

[strawbaerry]

Dear R.

I wish I could have been stronger. I wish that the things you said to me didn't hit me so hard, but they did.
You were my best friend. Why would you change like that? What gave you the right to push me so far into depression that I considered killing myself?
And now, whenever I look at these scars, they just remind me how weak I was.
But the sickest thing was, you enjoyed it. When you found out, you laughed.
You laughed at a broken, suicidal girl. Do you know how much that hurt?
And on top of all that, you get a boyfriend, and shove it in my face? You knew how lacking I was in self-confidence, and then you have to go and act like you're all that, just because you got a boyfriend.
I hope he breaks your heart. I hope he's sees how sick of a person you really are.
I pray that someone, something will crack this superficial mask that you have put on to fool everyone into believing that you're actually nice.
So congratulations. Thank you for letting me see how twisted of a person you really are, because soon everyone will know.
Someday, I won't be scared of you anymore, and I will tell everyone everything.
Have fun going back to school this year. You won't be able to fool anyone anymore.

Sincerely, H.

[Sathalina]

Dear ____,

I cannot believe you would say that... Behind my back and about my father.. You don't know what we go through every single day; you have no idea the pain and the troubles we deal with just to be a 'happy family'. I'm sorry that we aren't like you, I'm sorry that we cannot have the money every time one of us gets sick. It hurts to know how you think of us... What else are you hiding behind the miles between us?

I bet it isn't pretty... I bet it's just bashing us on how we live our own lives. Well I am sorry that you came down to see us, that you noticed our lifestyle and I am sorry you had to judge... But I am not sorry that I am not like you I am glad that I was raised the way I was! I'm glad I am not like your daughter, she acts like every-other teenager I've ever talked with. I'm happy with the way we live...because at least I know how it feels to live without things. At least I'm not a born and raised brat who cries for everything and doesn't know how to handle life without someone holding her hand, at least I know how to... I'm proud of that much about MY lifestyle. I wish you could be also.

[roguecat]

Dear ___,
I have no idea whether to trust you or not. You confuse me and I feel helpless. A couple of years ago, you said I took your best friend when I joined school. I had no idea she was your friend. Honest. You held a vendetta. When my current best friend came to the school a year later, I was so caught up in constant arguments with my friend that I didn't notice you were friends. I needed someone to talk to, and she was there. When w became best friends you ha whipped this hatred towards me, and I hardly knew you. You spread rumours about us, you made me cry, I made you cry. I still sometimes feel bitter. Then we all became friends... you are so.. kind. Nice. Have you reformed or are you just .. I don't know. I can usually read if people like me or not. Your that girl I can't read. Why. Please I wan to know if you honestly like me.
Tara

[Parzival]

Dear Fluffy,

What happened to you? Where are you? Are you okay? Last time I talked to you... wasn't good... Family troubles, on your part... And now you're just gone.
I worry about you. I really do.
Be safe.

Your "Cool Little Ninth Grader" Turned Tenth Grader.


Dear Little Sister,

I'm always here for you, you know... I love you. I'd miss you.

Big Brother.


Friends,

Know how I sometimes act strange and unlike myself? I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, otherwise known as Multiple Personality Disorder.
When "I'm not acting like myself", it's not me in there. Someone else took the wheel. I'm completely serious.
But I'm still me... There are just other people in my body with me.

"Two-Face"

[Shadow Weaver]

Dear ____,

I wonder about you sometimes. Not in a bad way, I love ya too much for that, but.. I worry, ya know? Truthfully, the only time I'm terrified, truly terrified, or nervous is when you're gone. I normally don't get the explanation unless it's through someone else, and that hurts a bit.. Shouldn't you be the one to tell me if you quit something? If you aren't going to be somewhere you said you'd be? Why am I always the last to know? Why do I have to go through the things that always run through my head when that happens? "He doesn't trust you," "He won't tell you because you overreact," "Why can't he talk to me?" The thing is, you say you trust me, yet you won't tell me something yourself unless I ask you about it? Your girlfriend always tell me, not you. Think of it like me talking to you through Leprechaun, or Amaya, or Jay. Sometimes I don't even hear it from you two, I hear it from the new freshman or the seventh grader. That hurts the most.
There are some days where I wish it could be different, where I wish things could be changed so that everyone is happy, but guess what? I can't change it. I can't fix it, no matter how hard I try. I told you before that it would be better if I left. Is that true, now?

-Kijani

[corn nerd]

Dear Everyone that was in my class the last two years,
I am more then just my best friends sidekick. And I am more then a weird girl who just plays a role in the life of her best friend, who is perfect, and beautiful, and smart. I will show you, and you will all realize how wrong you were. Guess what? One time a few of you cheated off of my best friend in math. Remember that? Well guess what, guys? Turns out she made a small mistake; she mistook perimeter for area. So I corrected her, and you guys got it wrong.
Some of you say I need to grow up? Why should I do that? We are just kids, lets enjoy it. It's not like I'm acting like a 7 year old. I'm just enjoying myself and goofing around. Maybe you don't think my cheesy jokes and fandom references are funny, but at least I don't laugh at those dumb 'that's what she said' jokes you make every twn seconds. At least I try to get good grades. And succeed. But you still think my best friend is better? Me and her have both proven to be equally smart. But whatever. I'll just sit here in my corner and cry. Thanks for nothing guys.

Dear best friends (AKA the only two people I can trust anymore it seems),
One of you has been my best friend for a couple of years. Most people consider you prettier and smarter then me, and you are so popular! Not once have you left me behind though. You know we are equally smart, and that you are no better then I am. Thank you for everything.
But the other one of you is completely different. You are one of the most popular guys in class. You are one of the guys who made the immature jokes I hated, one of the guys who THOUGHT that my friend was better. But we started talking a lot, and we told each other things we never knew about each other before hand. Turns out, you were actually a really depressed guy, who feels lonely lots of times. You were honest with me, admited that you did think I was just a sidekick, and that I was weird. But you are my friend. One of my best friends. You aren't even afraid to tell me I'm pretty, and that is the sweetest thing ever. I'm glad I set you up with my other best friend. You deserve the best!
I love you guys!

[ahirked]

Dear Alyona...
Heya. I miss you even though I have only been away for 3 days :c But I suppose you miss me too, cos, we only see each other twice every year...
Hopefully you will be able to come to England dead soon!
Love ya always pal,
your BF since I was born.
Tay x

Dear Igor,
Will you ever appear? I have waited for you. Well okay, I only waited for you for a week so I suppose I can see you next year.
Byee!
Tay

Dear dreams...
Why do I keep dreaming about Nathan? I mean, twice, in 1 week!? Bizarre! And both dreams have something saying that either he loves me, or I love him.
And I don't. Simples! I do not love him! He has grown into a super weird dude who smokes and all that. He isn't even 14 yet!
So come one guys [dreams], give me some peace.
ANGRY
Tay.

Dear Insidious..
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT HAPPENS AFTER the woman's "husband" taps her shoulder!??!?! Will she be alright!?!? Will George come back!!???! Will their sons be alright!?!? And their daughter!?!?!?!
But please, do not make a sequel to that film. It scared me out of my wits.
Tay

[Chesster]

Dear Aidan, Ex Boyfriend, Ex Friend, Whatever.
What happened, it doesn't even make sense. You can't say you love someone and then just, just leave. And your reason for leaving: My friends? You're not in a relationship with my friends, it's just an excuse, I can tell. But I loved you. I loved you so much, its just unbearable to think about. All the silly little things we did, inside jokes we had, everything, it's all gone because you got bored, or tired of trying. Yes, we argued more recently, but that was because you had stopped putting in the effort. You began breaking all your promises, like the second chance that I gave you meant nothing anymore. You never deserved that second chance. Then you spread rumors about me, calling me 'frigid' and saying I wouldn't do anything in the relationship, but you only did that because it sounded believable, and was less embarrassing than the fact that it was you. You were the 'frigid' one, and you always have been, but I respected you for that because I didn't want to be rushed into anything. Yet you still do that to me, but then have the cheek to deny it and want to be friends, ect. Then also with that other girl, Emily, you went off and snogged her, met up with her, whatever, when you had said you were planning on getting back with me. That was just like kicking me when I was down, I didn't think your heart could break twice, but clearly you're skilled at doing that. You never snogged me. And then the first girl you see a few days after our relationship ended, you do it with her. I was with you for 7 months in total, if you add it all up. And never once. All of that hurt, I'll admit, but I was so thankful, so grateful what happened next. When you got punched in the face by that year 11, the satisfaction I felt was just bliss, karma is a beautiful thing, although that still doesn't compare to the pain you put me through, surely you're due some more at some point? I know its harsh to laugh at what happened, but I did, and you deserved it. And then that bit*h you snogged, someone who claimed to be my friend got ditched also, she was simply a rebound girl to make me jealous. That felt good. To know that you needed to use all that effort just to make me jealous, to try and prove a point, I mustve been important hmm? And then I was talking to you, I simply asked if it was true about you getting hit in the face, and you got angry, and so did I, and you admit defeat, you admit everything.
You told me that you couldn't get over me.
You told me the reason you tried to be horrible, and hurt me was to make it easier.
If he could find something to blame me for, it would be easier to move on.
But I was innocent, I had done nothing wrong.
And he was sorry.
But where does that leave us now Aidan? Because now we don't talk. Nothing.
I'm over you now, I think so. It still stings when I see your name, or your face, but thats just natural. I dont care that you flirt with loads of other girls now, I dont really miss you either, I just miss the memories.
I'm sorry I'm so hard to get over, but thats your fault, you should've never let me go,
Especially for no reason.
-Chessu.


Dear Simon,
Wow we have history, I've only ever had two boyfriends, ever, and you were my first, from year 7. We were so young, and I was so silly, so stupid for falling in love with you. It took me a whole year to get over you, probably more, but I still love you, I can't really hide it. Not like that anymore, I don't think, no where near as intensely, but I've never forgotten about you, despite everything. You never treated me wrong, although you did leave me out of the blue, for no reason. But it's okay. We were best friends before, and even more so after the relationship, I know you so well. But then you got new girlfriends and stuff, and we drifted apart.
But recently we've been talking again, and I'm confused.
I think I like you, well yes, I've always liked you, but do you like me, like that? Do you?
I'm so unsure, you come across that way, but I dunno, you might be like that all the time, it's been a while and you're quite flirtatious anyway.
Gosh.
Please tell me, give me a sign, anything.
You're exactly what I need right now.
-Chessu. x


Dear Jenni,
You're my best friend okay, all I did was try to help you, and support you, and then you try and rub it in my face that you told some other girl that you began self harming and not me, you rub it in my face that she helped you stop and I didn't.
I can't believe you,
I can't believe you thought I would judge you or whatever,
Its as if you dont know me, all of my friends self harm, just because I never have doesn't mean I'll judge you. I never judged my friends, I helped them through it, I helped ALL of them stop.
Just ugh.
-Chessu. x