Maybe what I did had to do with all the smoke I'd just inhaled. It could easily have put a little crazy into me. Maybe it wwas just the epic relief that Courtney has not in fact decided to let herself die. The most
likely reason is probably that
she came to me first, we were
this close- give me an inch, I'll take a mile. Anyway. Whatever the reason, I kissed her. You might say it's a little too soon. I might say it's the end of the world as we know it so YOLO. That's my version of an intelligent argument.Courtney takes a step back. Oh good Lord what is she going to say. I squint my eyes, trying to see her expression in the light of the flames. The flames that are burning my house to the ground. One of the neighbors
has to have called 911 by now.
Unless they're dead, too. Anything's possible.
The though pushes my brain back into alignment. "We have to go to the Port," I say. "They have someone staying to keep the rooms from shifting, but we leave at midnight." We leave and we close the door behind us. Courtney just nods. "But the only way in is the pool."
I'd take her hand, maybe, in any other situation, but my hands are hurting worse than the time I went the wrong way off the diving board and shattered the left one's bones on the edge of our swimming pool. The burns aren't that bad- actually, weirdly disappointing now that I think about it- but they
hurt. "So... how did you get out of the fire?" Courtney asks, her voice echoing in the empty night.
I gaze up at the black sky. You can't see very many stars anymore, not with all the light pollution, but the ones you can see are nice enough, I guess. "I don't really know. One minute I was there, and it was getting close- and then I was by that tree." Just like that day when Courtney was at the pool, the one we're going to. Threads got the idea to block off the ripple- kind of like peeling back the veil that disguises the World- so only the things that could get through the water could get to the Port. Nobody had the heart to tell her that the Water wasn't really going to stop the Bug.
Just as we step onto that dirt path- ah, memories- a thick layer of white fog settles onto it, obscuring my sight.
"This sucks!" I complain out loud.
Courtney looks at me like I'm nuts. "What? I love fog."
"I can't see a foot in front of me!"
She smiles serenely. "But isn't that the point of it? Look." She points- right in front of us are a cluster of lights, gold and purple and red- fairy lights. Courtney runs ahead of me, grasping into the air as if she could catch one. I watch her tilt and twirl down the path and that feeling of peace and certainty finally fills me.
That's why I love her. She has that child inside no matter what.Wait- what?
Love?I wave my arms around as if trying to push something away. Maybe it's just a physical attraction, or maybe I really do, but there's no being certain right now- I mean, even I know it's too soon for that but that's not what I mean. it's being a teenager and having everyone tell you that you're not mature enough to love yet, when really your feelings might be as strong as any adult's- if only you were an adult to know. Maybe what I'm trying to say here is that I might not now but I have this feeling that I'm definitely going to someday and I know I'm going to tell her right when I do. Just like my hunch- that I night know who I am, might have a clue as to how I got out of the fire, but I'm not going to jinx it yet.
Courtney rounds that sharp turn. The fairy lights go with her and everything turns back to darkness. There was magic in the moment, I'll grant her that, but now it's gone. I run after her, trip, land on my arm- it hurts, it hurts, it HURTS- but I get up anyway and follow the vaguely blinking lights until I find the pool.
The scene from the past- a million years ago, even- comes to mind. This is so much more magical- Courtney's beautiful face illuminated by the fairy lights, glowing and smiling and taking my hand like there is nothing wrong in the world. And yet there is so much more
weight behind it. So much burning-fire-passion-death-terror-tears.
So much.
Courtney grins like a daredevil. "Come on," she says, and jumps into the pool. I race to the edge- she's already disappeared into the portal.
I close my eyes, breathe deep, and jump.
And emerge from the portal, completely dry. Will wonders never cease.
This isn't the Port. The only way I could describe it is Blue Oblivion- the same blue that I saw in Courtney's eyes. The same blue we saw
this morning. This morning. It's insanity, the way everything's changing so fast, like nothing matters. I don't want to be Life's pawn.
There's a door- more like another portal, really. The frame is thin wood, and while there's no actual door, there's something there- like Saran wrap- that makes its view into the port distorted and soundless.
A Were that I don't recognize steps out from behind the door, holding something I do recognize. A panel. About the size and shape of an iPad, used to can people for Eater Bugs. They're all the rage these past few days- understandably so.
"Hi, Cordy!" says Courtney cheerfully, giving him a wiggly-fingered wave. The younger boy turns red, and for a second I start to feel a wave of over-attached boyfriend coming on.
No. I don't know what it is but it's not like that, so shut up, brain.Cordy holds up his Panel and grimaces- the classic pretending to be embarassed thing. "I kind of have to scan you guys before you can go in. Just to be safe."
Courtney shrugs. "It's fine." He nods, holds the Panel up to her, nods again.
"Okay. You're cool."
She takes a step towards the door buts stops at it. Waiting. Waiting for me. Cordy holds the Panel up to me. Courtney glances at it. At the exact same moment both of their faces drain of color.
Silence. I know what that means.
Wordless, Cordy pushes a button to freeze the screen and flips it. There's the boring blueprint blue of the screen, the white outline of my body, and just inside my shoulder- a pulsing orange-yellow dot.That means- well, it's pretty obvious what that means. Painfully so. Once again, there's absolutely no calm, just jittery terror, because once again, I'm going to die and it's going to hurt.
"Man, I'm sorry-" says Cordy, but Courtney shoots him a look and his voice dies. I wouldn't be surprised if his voice box just shriveled up from the poison in her glare. But after it disappears from her face, she just looks kind of lost.
My hunch comes back to me- the
how to surviving the fire.
Fire cannot kill a dragon. Something I read online- a user complaining about the water temperature at their house.
Fire cannot kill a dragon."Courtney... just... right now, go."
She nods, eyes shining- and not in the good way. Backs into the Port and then runs until I can't see her anymore. I can't let this be the last time I ever see her.
Fire. Dragon. Fire. Dragon.
Cameo shifts are kind of cool and horrible at the same time- like boxers mauling each other. They just hammer into your head that you have
no idea who you really are. Courtney shifting into a cheetah- I
saw that- just makes them more confusing- a phenomenon that nobody could ever figure out, least of all
me. Sometimes I think whatever teen angst I may have (meaning a lot) would be cut in half if I wasn't a Were. (A good fourth would be shaved off if I just had normal shifts.) Some people know the deal and guess wolf, because of my eyes. Others give different opinions, but they
always have to do with my eyes. But in this moment, something clicks.
Fire cannot kill a dragon.I've never been good at forcing shifts. They come and go with moods, which is never a good thing for keeping a secret. But right now, I really, really need to.
I close my eyes, try to tell my brain
I'm done changing now, I know who I am. Please listen to me for once. Maybe I'm trying to lie to myself here, but all I can do is hope I distinguish flexibility from change.
This is the problem. I'm hoping something about myself. Why don't I just
do? I'm the one in control. I. Decide. Myself.
Bony white spikes poke out across my collarbone, protrude from my forehead, and most importantly jut out from my shoulder. The Bug is speared at the end of one. The disgusting thing has swollen from microscopic to the size of a pill- one that you'd feed a horse rather than a human. I watch in morbid fascination as it desperately searches for something to chomp onto in the Oblivion, but, unable to go more than a few feet without a host, explodes like a huge zit, yellow goop pouring out of it.
Cordy stares at me in amazement. (Honestly, I'd kind of forgotten that he was there.) "I can't say I've seen that before."
I'm still staring at the mess. It looks like a squished- squashed?- bee. "Not many can." I run my fingers along the tiny, bumpy spines on my collarbone, finger the holes the shoulder-horn things left in my shirt. Amazingly what's on my mind is not that I've shifted into a mythological creature- Although the fact that I've evaded death twice in like, an
hour kind of puts my shift to shame.
"Can I go in now?" I ask, pointing at the doorway. Cordy holds up the Panel one more time and nods. I look back at where the Eater Bug was, but it's gone. Dissolved into the Blue Oblivion.
I step into the Port. There are a
lot of people- seriously, at least two hundred- but Warner's room seems to have expanded so much that everybody has a seat. Before I can look for Courtney, Threads and Warner wave me over to the booth they're sitting in. I walk over to them and I'm about to slide in across them when guess who's already there, slumped down and looking dejected.
"Hey," I say. I can't stop a smug grin from creeping onto my face. COurtney just stares. I sit down in the booth and wave my hand in front of her face. "Look. I'm alive."
"Yes, and we're glad," says Threads, cutting me off, "but there are more pressing problems right now." That's threads, always straight up. "We leave in half an hour. Why didn't you two bring any stuff?"
"Hey," I said indignantly. "My house burned down."
Courtney looks sheepish. "I wasn't planning on coming, and then my place got... overrun."
"Oh." Threads grimaces. "Well, I'm sure we can find you two something in my shop. Come on." Warner stands up to let her out and we follow.
Her shop had been picked almost bone-clean- just Threads meeting the demand, I guess. All in all, we find four outfits each, and two jackets that fit. Mostly.
"Um, Threads," says Courtney. "Do you have any shoes left? I kind of-" she points at her feet. Which have nothing but socks on them.
I gape at her. "Have you not had shoes the entire time?" For some reason my brain finds this immensely funny.
Threads smiles. "I have a bunch in the back closet." Courtney goes to the far end of the room and Threads shoves two duffel bags at me. I don't so much catch them as stop them with my face.
"What's this for?"
Threads perches on top of her counter. "They're full of supplies. I was going to sell them to the highest bidder, but..." I open one bag. Inside is practically everything we'll need.
"Thank you so much," I say, trying to seem as serious as possible.
Threads shrugs. "No biggie. I better get some good karma for this, though."
Courtney comes back, lacing up a pair of combat boots as she walks, tears streaming down her face. Threads jumps up, gives me the
do something you pathetic fool look, and leaves.
I satand in front of Courtney, take her in my arms. "Hey, what's wrong?"
She buries her face in my- my armpit? That seriously cannot smell good. "I did some really crappy things," she says. "I left my family behind."
"No," I said. "All you did was not watch them die. There was nothing you can do. And even if there was, it's the apocalypse. What happened to you is only the tip of the iceberg for most of the people here."
Suddenly I realize I'm crying, too. So much for being strong.
I guess this is just the moment where it all catches up. No more shock to protect me, shield my feelings. My parents are really, truly dead. My dad was an evil scientist gone traitor who pretty much caused all of this. And I'm the reason he did it. He couldn't stand to bring down his son, so he brought down the world. The people that loved me, the place I grew up all of it is completely, one-hundred percent gone. And now I can't even be sure about religion, because wasn't God supposed to be the one to flip the switch? Everyhting in me is completely confused.
Courtney breaks away and forces a smile. "Thanks." She starts shoving her clothes into a duffel bag, and I follow suit.
Threads pokes her head in the shop. "Guys, two minutes. Everybody's piling at the door."
"Oh, crap," mutters Courtney, hurriedly zipping up her bag and rushing out. I follow her, barely able to match her pace without running into someone. As Threads said, they're piling at the door, but they make a polite path for her and Warner, and we totally take advantage of that. We actually manage to get pretty close to the door. Courtney's hand brushes my side, and I notice she's looking at her watch. Five seconds until midnight.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Threads' watch alarm goes off. She silences it, shoots us all a meaningful look, and swings open the door.
It's beautiful. There's no way to describe it, and if I could properly your brain wouldn't be able to process it. There are places on Earth that are just so untouched and pure that they have this quiet beauty, like the edge of an island cliff looking off to sea, but those would never compare to what lay in front of us.
I don't miss this opportunity. I grab Courtney's hand. And as we walk into the World together, I spread my wings. Green-gold, scaly, and massive, with spikes poking out of the tips.
Fire cannot kill a dragon. I don't think I'll be having cameo shifts anymore.
I am Dragonkin.
When I move my thumb up, I can just feel Courtney's pulse, beating quickly with excitement. Suddenly I'm aware- all around me, hearts are beating. They might not be in tune with mine, but I can feel it- they're thumping out some sort of rhythm that's going to bring this race on.
