{ ＩＮＫＬＩＮＧＳ } LOCK! NEW THREAD

[kavv]

Hey guys! I wrote a little snippet to begin my story; I was wondering if you guys could read it and give me some critique? Oh, I'd appreciate it if you didn't quote it, because I plan to delete it afterward. Thanks a million --

When I was a girl, I dreamt of happily ever afters. Of soul mates. Of my own perfect prince, with a charming smile, and golden hair. He would sweep me off my feet, pursue me, and look at me with such love and warmth in his eyes, that the world around us would melt away. His touch would be soft, and gentle, and he would hold me for hours. His eyes would never wander, for he would love no other. I was his, and he was mine, and all was as grand as grand could be.

I was so naive, so ignorant. After the world robbed me of my innocence; ripped open my eyes, tearing me from my delusional perspectives, I began to see the world how it was. It started to occur to me that, well, that never happens. That I was no exception; nothing special. No man like that would ever have looked in my direction, perhaps no man at all. That, even if we had soul mates, how do I know mine hasn't got hit by a bus? And when was the last time you've heard of some happily ever afters?

It began to dawn on me that the world was an awful, lonely place.

[Artesian]

hiii
so, i finally got around to writing something but i'm having trouble with this one sentence. it's sort of describing how the main character is feeling while he dances. and just to clear up anything confusion the 'other' mentioned in the sentence is just another person in the room.



Before long he’s dancing, paying no heed to the other and lost in his own world, where nothing matters but the smooth flexing of movement and the quick snapping of limbs, where it’s not air that he runs on but the burning adrenaline rushing through his veins.




yeah it sort of feels longgg. but i don't know if i should shorten/split it into two or not, or if i should just keep it.

helpppp :U

It's good, keep it. ^-^ There's something called flow, which is the term for a mental state that people get into when they're doing something they love. Here's the definition: "Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one does." When writing someone who is engaged in something to that extent, it works well to lengthen your sentences to show that one thing leads to another to another, as naturally and inevitably as breathing.

I'd change adrenaline to exhilaration though. >-> But that's a stylistic choice.

[~Demonic Moon Curse~]

Old Username: •Frodo•Legolas•
New Username: Frodo&Legolas
What you would like us to call you now: Frodo, Legolas, or Frodo&Legolas

[princess pudding]

Heyyyy. Desperate witch here; I need name suggestions for a female character -something classy/Victorian.
Made up names are even better, as the novel will take place in a fantasy setting loosely based off of the Victorian age.

I've drawn her up for appearance, if that's any help.
Here she is. Artwork is mine, please don't steal.

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. c:

[Artesian]

I'm thinking Katherine, Genevieve, Mariposa or Diara...

[Brittle]

Heyyyy. Desperate witch here; I need name suggestions for a female character -something classy/Victorian.
Made up names are even better, as the novel will take place in a fantasy setting loosely based off of the Victorian age.

I've drawn her up for appearance, if that's any help.
Here she is. Artwork is mine, please don't steal.

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. c:

Robynne Merideth Pryor
Braelyn Roscoe
Yvette Marla Curtis
Phoebe Amanda Williamson
Justice Cheyenne Underwood

Just some suggestions XD


P.S.
Need some names for my book I call Lynx. I need two main boys names and the same for girls name, and some random names mixed gender names.
I also need to rename it, I love the name Lynx but seriously, how horrible cliche can you get? So I'll tell you the plot and you tell me what you think the title should be! Okay? Thanks!

A girl named {for Pete's sake I'm going to use the name kitty because I don't know her name yet XD} Kitty was taken in with the rest of America's fourteen year olds too the 'island name insert here' by decree of president 'name here'. So that these teens could be professional guards for him. There they learned to hunt, fight, and be better at almost everything normal humans are crappy at. Many will die, the weak ones will fail, but the strong ones will prevail. Kitty is apart of the six people left from training who didn't cry and go home, and who didn't die or get killed. She sort of befriends this other girl named 'insert name here' but after an act rebellion, 'insert name here' is held at gunpoint then murdered in front of Kitty. That is when she looses her sanity, and tried to murder herself. They keep all the weapons away from her but they couldn't take away her finger nails. Once there are only three of them left, Kitty 'boy' and 'boy', they are sent to the president.

The rest is very vague for me currently. So names please?! And maybe some feedback?[/size]

[cappishe]

King of Fools

The story, his story, began in the village. Not the kind of quaint little town in the center of a joyous, bustling country. Not the kind of village filled with friendliness and happy civilians. No, this was the type of town where the black magic and witchcraft of the world spawned, where innocent people were burned alive for heinous crimes they didn’t commit. This was the kind of village where a young boy was cast out onto the cold cobblestone streets, no one by his side, and no one ever to be by his side. This was the village where a small defenseless child was taunted and abused for being strange, and out of the ordinary. But, this was also the type of village where a king rose from the ashes of a broken community, even if only to rule them under an iron fist. So, this is the story of how the boy named Lucifer, “Child of the Devil” Became king, to sit upon his rustic throne atop the mountain of bodies, gathered dead under his feet, a robe of blood around his shoulders.

{So, I thought I'd do a small prologue of a story I've been working on. I'd love to get some opinions on it!}

[noodle cat]

Can someone please critique this? Dream Boy

[Lilysplash]

Heyyyy. Desperate witch here; I need name suggestions for a female character -something classy/Victorian.
Made up names are even better, as the novel will take place in a fantasy setting loosely based off of the Victorian age.

I've drawn her up for appearance, if that's any help.
Here she is. Artwork is mine, please don't steal.

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated. c:

Robynne Merideth Pryor
Braelyn Roscoe
Yvette Marla Curtis
Phoebe Amanda Williamson
Justice Cheyenne Underwood

Just some suggestions XD


P.S.
Need some names for my book I call Lynx. I need two main boys names and the same for girls name, and some random names mixed gender names.
I also need to rename it, I love the name Lynx but seriously, how horrible cliche can you get? So I'll tell you the plot and you tell me what you think the title should be! Okay? Thanks!

A girl named {for Pete's sake I'm going to use the name kitty because I don't know her name yet XD} Kitty was taken in with the rest of America's fourteen year olds too the 'island name insert here' by decree of president 'name here'. So that these teens could be professional guards for him. There they learned to hunt, fight, and be better at almost everything normal humans are crappy at. Many will die, the weak ones will fail, but the strong ones will prevail. Kitty is apart of the six people left from training who didn't cry and go home, and who didn't die or get killed. She sort of befriends this other girl named 'insert name here' but after an act rebellion, 'insert name here' is held at gunpoint then murdered in front of Kitty. That is when she looses her sanity, and tried to murder herself. They keep all the weapons away from her but they couldn't take away her finger nails. Once there are only three of them left, Kitty 'boy' and 'boy', they are sent to the president.

The rest is very vague for me currently. So names please?! And maybe some feedback?[/size]

Ooh. Nice plot this far, very dystopian and reminiscent of the Hunger Games. As for names for a Victorian girl, I have a few. c:
Emilie Rosewood
Vanessa... Something. XP
Alexandra Gabrielle Something
XD lack of creativity, sorry!!!

[Placebo Effect]

Many Victorian girls were named things like;
Anne, Elizabeth, Victoria, Mary, Margaret and Beatrice. They tended to Christen the first girl in the family after the Queen or an ancestor. Old English Second names that sound a little noble are things like; Cavendish, Oxford, Buckinghamshire - the reason behind this is because people's second name used to be based on where they came from (Anne of Oxford). Lower class would be named after their profession; Smith for a blacksmith, goldsmith or a silversmith. Baker for a baker etc. The upper class didn't work as such so their name would remain the family name which used to be the location they were born.