Are you a writer or a poet? Come and share your creations with us, or discuss writing techniques with others
Forum rules
Please only post your own original work, do not post poetry or stories which were written by someone else.
by Tianuki » Sun Jul 14, 2013 12:07 am
@TuneToTabbys, I've read the three chapters of your story and it's okay... Can be improved greatly if you don't mind me saying. I know it's hard to write stories and fan fictions are a good way to begin, I'm writing a fan fiction myself. I would recommend that you write longer chapters with much more detail. Your story is basically like 'Bam. Bam. Bam. End of chapter. It happens way to fast. The part with Sadie forgiving Hazel is just confusing; the problem is not properly explained and then suddenly Hazel is forgiven for something.
Your grammar and punctuation is quite okay at times but make sure you always check it before you post it. It's not always about just posting a chapter to keep your readers happy, writing a good story needs correct spelling, grammar and punctuation.
Those are probably the first two points you should work on. I won't be able to use the Internet after the next two days so yeah, good luck with your writing and when I come back, I might see if you took my criticism on board and decided to tweak a few things.
@nutella, I haven't read anything like the idea you've mentioned. Just the idea of it is very interesting and I would love to read anything you've got once you decide to start it (that's if you choose to write something about it).
-

Tianuki
-
- Posts: 917
- Joined: Wed Dec 02, 2009 9:49 pm
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
-
by Kodabomb » Sun Jul 14, 2013 12:25 am
Hey, just wondering; would anyone like to read Jewel Empire? Book 1 is shorter than Book 2, which is currently not done. Book 1 is under maintennence. XD
I'd just like some crit from someone who's not a fan, some really constructive advice I guess. The links are in my signature. <3
-

Kodabomb
-
- Posts: 9464
- Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 7:57 pm
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
-
by Lilysplash » Sun Jul 14, 2013 4:26 am
~Koda~ wrote:Hey, just wondering; would anyone like to read Jewel Empire? Book 1 is shorter than Book 2, which is currently not done. Book 1 is under maintennence. XD
I'd just like some crit from someone who's not a fan, some really constructive advice I guess. The links are in my signature. <3
Hello! Lilysplash here. c; I'm a younger writer, but would love to critique. <3 I read a little snippet of your story, and I think it's good. ^-^ Of course, I'm not a MLP fan, but I do know limited basics. I love your art, but there are quite a few grammatical/spelling errors. Keep in mind that mechanics like grammar are extremely vital to your story! I'll read more in a second and critique. c:
-

Lilysplash
-
- Posts: 1673
- Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2012 10:31 am
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
by tooru » Sun Jul 14, 2013 10:26 am
yay! my thread has new poems and a new poll! c:
███
███
███
███
███
███
███
███
███
███ ooru.
OIKAWA[ kiddos, kals ]
it's n o t t h e
p a in they're
g e tting over,
it's the l o v e.𝔻 𝔸 𝕌 ℕ 𝕋☀ ☀ 𝓁𝑒𝓈𝓈 ┏▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┓xcall x me x an xaddict
xto xxx your xx electric┖▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┚
┏▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┓xwe'll never lose xfaith
xnever forget this taste┖▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬┚ █
█
█
█
█
█
█
█
█
█
█
█
-

tooru
-
- Posts: 22700
- Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2012 1:38 am
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
by aphelion ✧ » Sun Jul 14, 2013 11:00 am
guysss, I never come on here anymore ;-;
Anyways, I have a question!
How do you come up with character names?
I'm in need for some character names for a book I'm actually interested in writing. It's based around superheroes and villains, but more so what they do outside from their job in a way and how they job complicates their life. It also is targeting some issues in today's social society, such as LGBTQIA stereotypes and other good stuff.
I've got the villain's first name down, but coming up with hero names and last names and a good first name for the hero is becoming a problem right now. :\ Mainly hero/villain names. Villain is more like a Batman and uses gadgets guns to fight while the hero is a Superman bundle package [flying, super strength, quick healer]
And, does anyone have a good character sheet to fill out?
Not for a roleplay or anything, but to improve your character by thinking about them more
Last edited by
aphelion ✧ on Sun Jul 14, 2013 11:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

zu - agender - mega nerd
muse: high, looking for rps
time: i've got all the time!
characters -
search - writing
-

aphelion ✧
-
- Posts: 757
- Joined: Sun Nov 16, 2008 4:42 am
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
by rosesgreedy » Sun Jul 14, 2013 11:23 am
Zuchi wrote:guysss, I never come on here anymore ;-;
Anyways, I have a question!
How do you come up with character names?
I'm in need for some character names for a book I'm actually interested in writing. It's based around superheroes and villains, but more so what they do outside from their job in a way and how they job complicates their life. It also is targeting some issues in today's social society, such as LGBTQIA stereotypes and other good stuff.
I've got the villain's first name down, but coming up with hero names and last names and a good first name for the hero is becoming a problem right now. :\ Mainly hero/villain names. Villain is more like a Batman and uses gadgets guns to fight while the hero is a Superman bundle package [flying, super strength, quick healer]
Why, this is the best part of writing ... almost.
When picking names, I prefer to use the custom search on babynames, searching up something along with their personality. For example, if it is a man of justice, I would look up righteous, and pick the name I prefer from the list. If not there, then I simply google it. Rarely, I'll look up colors — but only if the character has the eyes of an eccentric color. I often use this for last names, too, as I've often seen people with the last name that matches another's first. It is also important, to me, their appearance. Heck, I'm not naming an evil old hag Susie. It is also useful to find out how the name would sound in real life. For this, I like to use the name tester on baby name genie.
Oh, and I almost forgot. Another thing I do is I use the random name generator on behind the name. It's useful if you want an /actual/ surname.
Hope this helped a bit! ouo
she/her || adult || taurus
-

rosesgreedy
-
- Posts: 3560
- Joined: Fri Jun 04, 2010 2:49 am
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
by aphelion ✧ » Sun Jul 14, 2013 1:19 pm
@jardin d'eden. - oh, thank you for the advice and the links! I usually don't use the color name matching because of eyes deal since at a workshop I went to, they said it was overused and cliche to a point. Plus, naming a guy Ruby or Rose would be a little silly xD But those links were amazing and I found the perfect names for both my guys <3 I still need to figure out how to name heroes and villains though

zu - agender - mega nerd
muse: high, looking for rps
time: i've got all the time!
characters -
search - writing
-

aphelion ✧
-
- Posts: 757
- Joined: Sun Nov 16, 2008 4:42 am
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests