Hey, I started a new story today. Comments/critiques? <3
The Pipe
Chapter One
The Last Straw
"Move outta the way!" Ben said, shoving me to the side before I made it to the table. I caught myself before hitting my head into the wall. I gave Ben a dirty look, but he was already leaning over the table.
"Hey, only one piece you pig!" I said, watching as Ben took two slices of the cheese pizza. "We only get pizza once in a while and everyone should get a piece!" Ben turned his head up to me, snickered, then ran off with the two pieces. "Hey!" I yelled.
Nobody else was there in the dining hall yet, so I took one last look at the pizza, and took off after Ben. Ben was a sixteen-year-old jerk who thought he was the toughest guy in the orphanage. He had jet black hair which he usually combed to the side, and a bad case of Acne. Ben was about six feet tall, and weighed somewhere around one hundred and forty pounds. He usually wore baggy clothes that looked too big for him.
I, on the other hand, was different. I was fourteen years old with dark brown hair that had natural curls. I usually put it in a ponytail, but I sometimes, on some occasions, wore it down. When I wore it down, it made me feel like a cheerleader; I hated preps. My face had some blemishes too, but nothing like Acne. I made sure I scrubbed my face every day. I was around five foot six, and somewhere around ninety-five pounds. My clothing style was usually a skinny shirt and fine-fitting jeans. None of us kids had very nice clothes since we were in an orphanage; lots of stains and tears, but most of us were happy with what we had.
Anyways, I chased Ben for about five minutes around the halls and through the rooms. I finally managed to catch the idiot, and I jumped onto his back. We both tumbled to the floor, and as we came to a stop, I was upset to see that Ben had already eaten both pieces of the pizza. He must've shoved them down his throat quickly, because I hadn't noticed him eating as we ran.
Ben laughed in my face as we both stood up. "No pizza for Kat! No pizza for Kat!" I was annoyed and angry.
"You're such a childish jerk!" I wanted to yell some more, but instead I stomped away, back towards the pizza, with Ben still laughing behind me.
As I reached the dining room, I could see everybody crowding around the table. "No!" I whispered to myself. "Excuse me," I said quietly as I gently pushed passed the other kids. I finally maneuvered through the crowd, only to find an empty pizza box on the table. I huffed and plumped down into a seat and rested my head on my hand.
Chapter Two
Freedom
If there was one thing that I was good at, it was sneaking around. I loved to spy on people, and sometimes even eavesdrop. And the day after the pizza incident, I realized that I could use that talent to my advantage. I wanted out of that orphanage. And I wanted out ASAP.
I knew that if a child went missing from the orphanage, a search party would go out and there would be wagon-loads of mayhem. And I also knew that there were alarms at every door. If the door was moved even the smallest bit, I'd be caught and put in a room for "time out" or something stupid like that. So I had to think of a way to escape sneakily, because if anybody caught me leaving, they'd probably tell. Unless it was Jessica, my best friend here at the Orphanage. We didn't get to talk much, but when we did, we were like sisters.
So the first thing I did was brainstorm. I had spent my free time walking around the homeless children's prison, and mapping the place out in my head. I looked everywhere for ways to escape. And three days after mapping the place out, I finally thought of the perfect way out. The air ducts. I would check behind tables and look at the ceiling each time I strolled through the hallways. I tried to figure out where they all led. There had to be at least one that went outside, right? Or even one that led to the roof? I was considering all possibilities now; I was desperate, and the air ducts seemed like the only way out.
And so the day finally came. I had everything ready in my mind. I was going to wait until lunch hour, when all the kids went to the dining room. I'd kinda hang back until they all went, and then I'd escape into the hallways vent. It was behind an end table that was there for decoration. The vent was small, but I was pretty sure that I'd fit. The lunch bell sounded, and the other Orphans flooded the hallway. I pretended to go against them because I had to go to the bathroom, until they all flowed past me.
I took a few looks around to make sure nobody was there, until I reassured myself that the coast was clear. I took a deep breath, and moved the end table out of the way. It squeaked as the wooden legs moved across the floor, but I hurried into the process. I tugged the metal grate from the vent, and I peered inside. It was pretty skinny, and I wasn't sure how I was going to move everything back.
I sighed and knelt down to crawl into the duct, but before I had the chance, I heard a soft voice behind me.
"Katelyn?"
I completely froze until my mind identified the voice. "Jessica?" I said, without turning around.
"Kat, what the heck are you doing?" she whispered. I turned to look at her. Her eyes were sparkling, and she seemed happy, even though she was watching me try to escape. I turned away, then stood up. I was still looking at the vent.
"Jess." I turned around to look into her eyes. "Jess. You know what I'm doing," I said quietly. "Come with me," I said, reaching for her hand.
"No," she said, backing up. "I can't."
"Yes you can. Just follow me and--"
"No, I mean I can't. A family adopted me, Kat! I've been adopted!" she said happily. I stood there for a moment, stammering, but I ended up just smiling wide and hugging her. "I'm so happy for you!" I said, a tear in my eye. It was not of anger or jealousy, but pure happiness. "I told you this day would come." Tears ran down both of our faces, and we let go of our hugs. My head jerked to the hallway around the corner.
"Quick! Someone's coming!" Jess said, pushing me to the ground. "You have to go."
"But Jess--"
"Go!" she whispered. I took one last look at Jessica, and climbed down into the vent. Jess pressed the metal grate back I to the vent, and moved the table back. I could hear the secretary talking to her.
"Jess, what are you doing?"
"Oh, I only dropped something."
"Well hurry, your new family is waiting!" The secretary rushed away.
"Goodbye," I heard Jess say. She sounded sad.
"I'll find you," I said. "I promise."
"Yeah." And Jess was gone.
I wanted to stop and cry, but I knew I had to keep going. It was dark in the vents, but the light from the grates helped. I crawled quietly, trying my best to not make any noise. I finally maneuvered through the dark vents, and it seemed like there was a dead end. I looked up, and saw light. It was the outdoors. I wiped my sweaty hands on my shirt and pants, and stood up. I put my hands on one side of the duct, and my feet on the other, and pushed upwards. When I moved one arm up, I moved the opposite leg up. I slowly inched up the vent, and finally felt the warm sun on my skin. I stood up and took a deep breath. The air was so fresh. The wind felt so good. I closed my eyes and deeply inhaled. I smiled. This was the greatest moment of my life.
I opened my eyes, and focused. I was still on the Orphanage grounds. I was on the roof of the building; almost free. I jogged over to the edge of the roof and peered down. It was two stories high. Not too high of a fall, I thought, but I'd rather climb. I found a windowsill below me, so I stepped down onto it. I quickly climbed down to the next one below it, before anyone from inside saw me. I jumped to the grass. And I ran.
I was free.
It's of course far from finished, but I was just wanting opinions so far. And this is basically a rough draft sort of thing, I'll probably go back and add more details and use better wording later. ;3
The Pipe
Chapter One
The Last Straw
"Move outta the way!" Ben said, shoving me to the side before I made it to the table. I caught myself before hitting my head into the wall. I gave Ben a dirty look, but he was already leaning over the table.
"Hey, only one piece you pig!" I said, watching as Ben took two slices of the cheese pizza. "We only get pizza once in a while and everyone should get a piece!" Ben turned his head up to me, snickered, then ran off with the two pieces. "Hey!" I yelled.
Nobody else was there in the dining hall yet, so I took one last look at the pizza, and took off after Ben. Ben was a sixteen-year-old jerk who thought he was the toughest guy in the orphanage. He had jet black hair which he usually combed to the side, and a bad case of Acne. Ben was about six feet tall, and weighed somewhere around one hundred and forty pounds. He usually wore baggy clothes that looked too big for him.
I, on the other hand, was different. I was fourteen years old with dark brown hair that had natural curls. I usually put it in a ponytail, but I sometimes, on some occasions, wore it down. When I wore it down, it made me feel like a cheerleader; I hated preps. My face had some blemishes too, but nothing like Acne. I made sure I scrubbed my face every day. I was around five foot six, and somewhere around ninety-five pounds. My clothing style was usually a skinny shirt and fine-fitting jeans. None of us kids had very nice clothes since we were in an orphanage; lots of stains and tears, but most of us were happy with what we had.
Anyways, I chased Ben for about five minutes around the halls and through the rooms. I finally managed to catch the idiot, and I jumped onto his back. We both tumbled to the floor, and as we came to a stop, I was upset to see that Ben had already eaten both pieces of the pizza. He must've shoved them down his throat quickly, because I hadn't noticed him eating as we ran.
Ben laughed in my face as we both stood up. "No pizza for Kat! No pizza for Kat!" I was annoyed and angry.
"You're such a childish jerk!" I wanted to yell some more, but instead I stomped away, back towards the pizza, with Ben still laughing behind me.
As I reached the dining room, I could see everybody crowding around the table. "No!" I whispered to myself. "Excuse me," I said quietly as I gently pushed passed the other kids. I finally maneuvered through the crowd, only to find an empty pizza box on the table. I huffed and plumped down into a seat and rested my head on my hand.
Chapter Two
Freedom
If there was one thing that I was good at, it was sneaking around. I loved to spy on people, and sometimes even eavesdrop. And the day after the pizza incident, I realized that I could use that talent to my advantage. I wanted out of that orphanage. And I wanted out ASAP.
I knew that if a child went missing from the orphanage, a search party would go out and there would be wagon-loads of mayhem. And I also knew that there were alarms at every door. If the door was moved even the smallest bit, I'd be caught and put in a room for "time out" or something stupid like that. So I had to think of a way to escape sneakily, because if anybody caught me leaving, they'd probably tell. Unless it was Jessica, my best friend here at the Orphanage. We didn't get to talk much, but when we did, we were like sisters.
So the first thing I did was brainstorm. I had spent my free time walking around the homeless children's prison, and mapping the place out in my head. I looked everywhere for ways to escape. And three days after mapping the place out, I finally thought of the perfect way out. The air ducts. I would check behind tables and look at the ceiling each time I strolled through the hallways. I tried to figure out where they all led. There had to be at least one that went outside, right? Or even one that led to the roof? I was considering all possibilities now; I was desperate, and the air ducts seemed like the only way out.
And so the day finally came. I had everything ready in my mind. I was going to wait until lunch hour, when all the kids went to the dining room. I'd kinda hang back until they all went, and then I'd escape into the hallways vent. It was behind an end table that was there for decoration. The vent was small, but I was pretty sure that I'd fit. The lunch bell sounded, and the other Orphans flooded the hallway. I pretended to go against them because I had to go to the bathroom, until they all flowed past me.
I took a few looks around to make sure nobody was there, until I reassured myself that the coast was clear. I took a deep breath, and moved the end table out of the way. It squeaked as the wooden legs moved across the floor, but I hurried into the process. I tugged the metal grate from the vent, and I peered inside. It was pretty skinny, and I wasn't sure how I was going to move everything back.
I sighed and knelt down to crawl into the duct, but before I had the chance, I heard a soft voice behind me.
"Katelyn?"
I completely froze until my mind identified the voice. "Jessica?" I said, without turning around.
"Kat, what the heck are you doing?" she whispered. I turned to look at her. Her eyes were sparkling, and she seemed happy, even though she was watching me try to escape. I turned away, then stood up. I was still looking at the vent.
"Jess." I turned around to look into her eyes. "Jess. You know what I'm doing," I said quietly. "Come with me," I said, reaching for her hand.
"No," she said, backing up. "I can't."
"Yes you can. Just follow me and--"
"No, I mean I can't. A family adopted me, Kat! I've been adopted!" she said happily. I stood there for a moment, stammering, but I ended up just smiling wide and hugging her. "I'm so happy for you!" I said, a tear in my eye. It was not of anger or jealousy, but pure happiness. "I told you this day would come." Tears ran down both of our faces, and we let go of our hugs. My head jerked to the hallway around the corner.
"Quick! Someone's coming!" Jess said, pushing me to the ground. "You have to go."
"But Jess--"
"Go!" she whispered. I took one last look at Jessica, and climbed down into the vent. Jess pressed the metal grate back I to the vent, and moved the table back. I could hear the secretary talking to her.
"Jess, what are you doing?"
"Oh, I only dropped something."
"Well hurry, your new family is waiting!" The secretary rushed away.
"Goodbye," I heard Jess say. She sounded sad.
"I'll find you," I said. "I promise."
"Yeah." And Jess was gone.
I wanted to stop and cry, but I knew I had to keep going. It was dark in the vents, but the light from the grates helped. I crawled quietly, trying my best to not make any noise. I finally maneuvered through the dark vents, and it seemed like there was a dead end. I looked up, and saw light. It was the outdoors. I wiped my sweaty hands on my shirt and pants, and stood up. I put my hands on one side of the duct, and my feet on the other, and pushed upwards. When I moved one arm up, I moved the opposite leg up. I slowly inched up the vent, and finally felt the warm sun on my skin. I stood up and took a deep breath. The air was so fresh. The wind felt so good. I closed my eyes and deeply inhaled. I smiled. This was the greatest moment of my life.
I opened my eyes, and focused. I was still on the Orphanage grounds. I was on the roof of the building; almost free. I jogged over to the edge of the roof and peered down. It was two stories high. Not too high of a fall, I thought, but I'd rather climb. I found a windowsill below me, so I stepped down onto it. I quickly climbed down to the next one below it, before anyone from inside saw me. I jumped to the grass. And I ran.
I was free.
It's of course far from finished, but I was just wanting opinions so far. And this is basically a rough draft sort of thing, I'll probably go back and add more details and use better wording later. ;3
Too many RPs!
