{ ＩＮＫＬＩＮＧＳ } LOCK! NEW THREAD

[Rolly-chan]

So. I need some opinions here.
I wanted to write a fantasy novel - but from the point of view of a young lady who was a "traitor" to the king and was cursed with a spell that basically says 'until you find your loyalty and heart, you will remain an ugly beast', thus turning her into what everyone in the medieval period fears the most: a dragon. So she'd go on this quest or whatever after meeting a young man who tries to "tame" her, thinking she's a regular dragon and she gets all caught up in some kind of task he's trying to complete. They journey together and eventually she falls in love with him - and of course there will be plenty of action and battle scenes, along with the more placid romance in there: though it won't be all kissy kissy because he's a human and she's a ten story tall dragon xD.
I love the idea. But I'm not sure if others would o3o.

It seems a lot like "Beauty and the Beast" to me. Though, I am still rather fond of the idea. Picturing a ten story tall dragon falling in love with a human seems quite humorous.

I thought so at first too (about Beauty and the Beast), but I still totally love the plot xD I'd certainly at least pick it up, and knowing your writing style, Rose, I'd sure keep on reading till the end ^^ (I'm of the opinion that as long as you make the story original, it doesn't matter if the overall plot is similar to others. And anyway, it's said that everything has been written already, so whatever xD).

[Roonil Wazlib]

@Rose
It sounds fantastic! Though, as the others said, it does sound like Beauty and the Beast I'm sure it will be original.

On a similar note, I've been working on my version of Beauty and the Beast from the Beast's point of view. Does anyone care to critique the first few paragraphs?

[MacGyver]

“Spion! Hinter ihm her, schnell!”

Sam Denver dodged around the corner of the building just as machine gun fire rang out and he heard the bullets slam into the edge of the bricks, barely missing him. It wasn’t every day he got shot at and was trapped inside a secret Nazi headquarters. Well, almost not every day. Another barrage of gunfire caused Sam to crouch low and run for better cover. The only thing available seemed to be the Major’s staff car. He ducked and rolled to one side of the car, just out of sight of the soldiers. Dirt scattered as more bullets rained down, trying to close in on their target.

His alert brown eyes scanned the immediate area quickly and thoroughly. The wrought iron gates leaving the Nazi headquarters were still open! They must not have had time to send any men down to secure it yet, Sam pondered. There was only one small problem. Lying between himself and freedom were at least five solders armed with pistols and submachine guns. He had lost his own pistol after escaping from Major Deur’s men. There had to be another way out. Same tried to remember the layout of the mansion and grounds that he had been required to memorize for his mission.

And what a mission it was! Infiltrate the suspected Nazi headquarters and gather all the information he could. He had been posing as a Gestapo captain by the name of Erich Roehm. After all, what Nazi would dare question the authority of a Gestapo officer? His alternate identity had served him well for the first two days; but on the third, Major Deur started asking questions. By the looks of things, he had gotten some answers. Same was called to the Major’s office that morning where he was confronted and charged with espionage. That was before Sam had escaped from the two guards who had been assigned to take him to a holding cell.

Bingo! Sam allowed himself a small smile when he spotted the row of motorcycles. He knew for a fact that most of the soldiers on the compound left the keys in the ignitions in case of an emergency which required immediate action. Taking a deep breath and saying a quick prayer, he made a beeline for one of the motorcycles. Again, bullets were raining down seeking out their target; some of them very nearly finding it.

His heart plummeted when he reached the first motorcycle. No key! A bullet pinged against the exterior of the bike and Sam ducked again. He made for the next motorcycle and was rewarded with a key this time. In record time he started it and revved the engine as he aimed it for the gate. By now the others had been alerted of the prisoner’s escape and there were two men beginning to close the gate.

He revved the engine once more and, just as the gate was about to close, squeezed past the shouting guards and sped farther away from the shots that were being fired at him.

I'm not exactly sure where I want to go with this. But here goes.
Any, ANY, critique at all is appreciated since I'm a bit of a beginner.

[Brittle]

Opinion do you mind?
This has been brewing in my mind for a couple
days now and I need some assistance! Okay so it
starts out with a girl named Noel Hampton, blonde
fourteen, a bit tall, and very quirky. She has always
been the type of 'class clown' but soon discovers
most of the students despise her, by hearing
an interesting gossip tale when Noel was in the bathroom
{teehee} Now in the beginning a stunning news report happens.
The rocket that they had just launched into space
was coming down fast, after a few malfunctions. The two
pilots are dead. One unfortunate detail is that the large
rocket is aimed at Noel's hometown. It nearly destroys everything
killing hundreds. Noel's home is obliterated in the chaos.
Two of her dearest friends die, including her crush. Noel
finds it hard to live on, all of her and the remaining survivors
are huddled inside an abandoned barn. They are trapped, the
rocket left a huge mess that sent scraps of metal, cars, and whole
houses that are now blocking all ways into her town.
This book will be called October, seeing as the setting
is in fall. <3

That's kind of the plot. Any critique? I hope this sounds 100%
original...

[Greenleaf]

-snip :3-

Hmm..
As far as description what are you looking for? What the surroundings look like, how it winds around, what color the water is, etc?

I'm trying to describe a sunset in the early spring. The river is very large and long, and snakes its way literally across the entire landscape to disappear into the west. :3 The water is silvery-blue, but rather tinted by the sunset.

In first person or third? It makes a difference, believe it or not xD

Written in third person. :3

[di-stri]

Oh no, I seemed to have completely forgotten about signing up again :C
Username: Nerd.
What we will call you: Nerd
Will you critique other's work?: yes
Links to your story if you have any: {x}
Anything you want us to know?: I don't believe so

[Brittle]

Hello dearies!
So do you remember the questions about
the positions in your books movies I asked
you about? Now I'm interested
in changing my character and I want to
ask you all something;
When you create your character
he/she is mostly;
A. Very popular
B. Nerdy or mostly disliked
C. In the middle
D.Rebel type

My characters are mostly the rebellious type of person,
since I've always wanted to be that heroine who stands
up to the 'popular' girls, like in the grand movies and books.
But what about you?

[amber.]

Hello dearies!
So do you remember the questions about
the positions in your books movies I asked
you about? Now I'm interested
in changing my character and I want to
ask you all something;
When you create your character
he/she is mostly;
A. Very popular
B. Nerdy or mostly disliked
C. In the middle
D.Rebel type

My characters are mostly the rebellious type of person,
since I've always wanted to be that heroine who stands
up to the 'popular' girls, like in the grand movies and books.
But what about you?

A combination of B. and C. My characters tend to be mostly nerdy, with a very unnoticed aura. They are usually the character that isn't noticed by the populars, the jocks or even the geeks. They keep to themselves and are content to spend their time alone. The friends they do have are very close, more like sibling would be.

[Brittle]

Thanks rose <3 that means a lot, really!
Most of my other stories are..ah...how you say...*cough cough* uninteresting *cough cough* and
not organized!

Yes I do love research so this makes that an amazing challenge for me.
Of course I have this horrible case of writers block where I loose interest
after the fourth page XD. Maybe the research will blossom
new ideas that will keep me going!

@Amber & Rose; Great examples! I do love rebels,
but I adore having to write the anguish a character
can go through when they are the bullied ones at school.
To be honest though, I'm a crazy rebellious girl
and my characters are always my

[rothbart.]

My characters tend to be more or the rebel type usually, with a side of sarcasm for extra kick. My most recent creation, Fyrian, is the single most arrogant character I have ever written.