MLP FIM OC Fanclub V1

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Re: MLP FIM OC Fanclub V1

Postby bellidan4234 » Fri May 24, 2013 1:37 pm

PrincessSeddie wrote:Would be lovely if ANY of you could read this and tell me what you like/dislike about her personality? ^^ Thank you for ANY of your time!
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Wow, Seddie! I wouldn't change her personality at all! She shows character and flaws, which proves she's both realistic and will be a good oc to build off of. My character, Bella Star, is quite like Vanilla. She's rude, but the difference is she has a different side to her. She can be nice, but when ponies act stupid around her, that usually sets off her 'dark side.' Anyway, I love your pony's personality, and I wouldn't change a thing! c:
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Re: MLP FIM OC Fanclub V1

Postby SeddieDeer » Fri May 24, 2013 1:40 pm

Bella Star4234 wrote:
PrincessSeddie wrote:Would be lovely if ANY of you could read this and tell me what you like/dislike about her personality? ^^ Thank you for ANY of your time!
__________
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Wow, Seddie! I wouldn't change her personality at all! She shows character and flaws, which proves she's both realistic and will be a good oc to build off of. My character, Bella Star, is quite like Vanilla. She's rude, but the difference is she has a different side to her. She can be nice, but when ponies act stupid around her, that usually sets off her 'dark side.' Anyway, I love your pony's personality, and I wouldn't change a thing! c:


Thank you so much! That means SO MUCH to me! ^^ She is a rebellious teenager that skips some classes, and will tell ponies exactly what she thinks of them. Her parents passed on a little while ago, and she has gone off the rails recently- while her elder sister attempts to look after them.

I shall be posting a story soon, I'm hoping a few of my family members here might read a little of it and give me the type of feel they get off vanilla in it xD <3
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Members of CS... I grew up on this website, and it feels more like a second home to me than a simple pet website. And so, If you ever need someone to talk to... If you ever need a shoulder to cry on...If you just want to speak to someone to cheer you up, or you just need someone to make you smile...If it's your birthday...Or anything like that...Please Pm me. Because I believe that we are all brothers and sisters (and none binary siblings.) of this earth. I want to make you smile. I have virtual tissues and hugs <3 <3 <3 ~Seddie
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Re: MLP FIM OC Fanclub V1

Postby Tom Bombadil » Fri May 24, 2013 1:41 pm

Tom Bombadil wrote:
Tom Bombadil wrote:
BlackRose0123 wrote:Once, in a land almost as this one is, but not quite, there was a stalion with a coat as black as night, hair as white as snow, and eyes the color of the clouds. This stallion was as greedy as could be, and desired nothing more then everything...


(I am now going to say her creation myth-thanks for the start, BlackRose!

One day, the stallion found a spell for ultimate power. But to gain it he would have to take much of the life force of a young innocent creature-they would survive but be weak and easily enslaved. He chose an unusually small earth pony filly, whose fur was the color of soot-it got that way because she would sit very close to the fire to hear the old tales, and of prophecies.
The filly was taken from her home, though none in her village noticed-she was an orphan after all.
But she was clever-she knew what the stallion wanted. One night, while the evil stallion was sleeping, she went into the jungle to seek help, and found a mystical bird. She told it what was going on, and the bird-beast gave her a colorful feather, telling her to put in in the Evil One's potion. When the stallion went to attack her, the filly ran between his legs and put the feather in his brew.
The stallion kicked her in the head just as the feather hit.
Although the filly fell, she was granted a second chance- the bird appeared and turned the stallion to stone, then flew above the fallen filly. The pony awakened, and bright colors, like that of the bird, covered her body, and granted her strength beyond that of a normal earth pony, making her a mare stronger than the strongest earth stallion. She was the first Amazon.

(Ok, i know it needs work but here is the rough draft of Ziszya's species creation myth. I will probably re-post it later, when it is edited, with other stories on the writers forum. What do you-all think?)


Re-post- what do you think of it?
Tom Bombadil

Ѳℓ∂ Ƭσм βσмвα∂ιℓ ιƨ α мɛяяʏ ғɛℓℓσω!
βяιɢнт вℓʋɛ нιƨ ʝαcκɛт ιƨ, αи∂ нιƨ вσσтƨ αяɛ ʏɛℓℓσω!
Ƭнɛяɛ αяɛ иσиɛ ωнσ нαʌɛ cαʋɢнт нιм ʏɛт, ғσя σℓ∂ Ƭσм нɛ ιƨ тнɛ Ѧαƨтɛя!
Ħιƨ ƨσиɢƨ αяɛ ƨтяσиɢɛя ƨσиɢƨ αи∂ нιƨ ғɛɛт αяɛ ғαƨтɛя!


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Re: MLP FIM OC Fanclub V1

Postby ToastingCinnamon » Fri May 24, 2013 1:44 pm

Username
Cinnamon~toastie

Pony's name
ShallowSong

Pony's gender
Female

Species
Okapi

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Pony's name
CrystalOcean (AKA Oceania)

Pony's gender
Female

Species
Alicorn

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Pony's name
Hibiscus Carver (Hibbi or Hibiscus for short)

Pony's gender
Female

Species
Pegasus

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Pony's name
Whisper

Pony's gender
Female

Species
Earth (Ghost)

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Re: MLP FIM OC Fanclub V1

Postby SeddieDeer » Fri May 24, 2013 1:45 pm

It would honestly mean, so much to me, If you could read this story that was wrote by me- and edited BEAUTIFULLY By Mikune! I would absoloutely love it if you could tell me the type of feel you get from Vanilla in this story?
This story is told by the eldest sister of Vanilla Salt and Strawberry Shimmer.- (Who is named Neapolitan
*Thank you to ANYONE who even reads without commenting! It means a lot since it took a while to write <3 And i'm sure it would mean a lot to Mikune because it took a long time for her to write too!

The day I was left with my sisters?
I remember that day well.
I was home, all day, letting the peace overcome me. I was to be the one who inherited the house due to my father leaving it in his will. I was there, near the warm, glowing fireplace. The flames licked skywards through the chimney. The peace, it was a bit overwhelming. I’d say I’m a bit then I was the last week, after all, last week… I was crying nonstop. Compared to that, this bliss.

This bliss, it was short, too short for the weight of my heart. There was knocking at the cottage door, my mind assume it was some kind of sales pony, trying to make me purchase whatever ware that they had. The knocking had become loud and it’s pace quickened, frantic might I say. With it ruining me peace and silence, I could no longer stand. Within moments, I was at the door, ready to give this sale pony a piece of mind, though too much of my joy, it was my dearest, closest friend.

She was breathing heavily, staring deeply into my eyes. She was rather shaking. Her voice stuttered as she tried to form a sentence, it finally came out. “Y-Your sister! Somepony is taking them!” I began to question her words. “What?” Yeah, sad. Those were the only words I could come out with as my mind processed her word. When it clicked, I bolted from her side, heading straight to the school yard that my sisters’ attended. The warm of a scarf on this cold day was far out of my mind, I was just worrying about getting to school as fast as I could

When I had reached the school, my eyes were greeted with the image of my sister, Strawberry, inside the confines of a carriage near the school gate. Why of all reasons was she in a carriage? My mind was racing with possibilities; all of them scared me. Something pierced the awkward silence, screaming, shouting, the voice was familiar.
“KEEP YOUR DIRTY HOOVES OFF OF ME! YOU CAN’T TAKE ME, TOUCH ME, DO ANYTHING! I KNOW MY RIGHTS!” My eyes landed on my other sister, Vanilla. She was being forcefully being dragged along by two ponies, a mare and stallion, both wearing a posh naval uniform. The mare leaned in closer to Vanilla, speaking in a soft tone, “yes, you do have your rights, and one of those is for you to be safe. My friend here and I are trying to ensure that.” The mare was attempts at calming my sister down were in vain.

“NO! I DEMAND TO SEE A LAWYER, SOMETHING! YOU CAN’T JUST TAKE ME SOMEWHERE WITHOUT MY CONSENT! THIS IS KIDNAPPING!” Vanilla was raising her voice so it was even louder, clearly saying each word with her protesting. The ponies of the playground began to stare, questioning what was happening. The stallion was no longer pulling her along, but behind her, in case if Vanilla had any thoughts of running away. His silence finally broke. “We just want to make sure you are safe from any threat.” Vanilla was simply not buying into this. She longer gave any mind to the two, and her voice cringed out for help now.

“HELP! SOMEONE! I AM BEING KIDNAPPED BY THIS TWO CRAZY PONIES WHO DON’T EVEN LISTEN TO REASON! OH CELESTIA! THEY ARE PROBABLY GOING TO SELL ME OFF ON THE BLACK MARKET OR HOLD SOME KIND OF EXTREME RANSOM! SOMEONE! HELP ME!” Her voice was now hoarse from screaming, still trying to free herself from the mare’s grasp.

The stallion’s face soured, his hoof was now on Vanilla’s back as her begun to gently push her into the carriage alongside Strawberry. My head shook violently, had I just sat idle by and watch what just happened. I began again, going from a slow trot into a full gallop, quickly making my way up to the carriage. The mare of the duo had her nose buried into some note she was writing, glancing up only for a second to notice me coming at her. Her voice sounded a bit harsh as she spoke at me. “Who are you?” Her eyes peered at me through her glasses. “I-I’m Neapolitan, may I ask what you are you doing to my sisters and where are you taking them?!” I guess you could say I was angry at these two. The mare’s eyes flickered with sadness as she began to shuffle through the terrible large paper stack she now had. “ It says here on the papers, that the parents of these minors, Vanilla Salt and Strawberry Shimmer, had recently passed away in a carriage crash, a bit unfortunate might I add. “

My head dropped slightly upon hearing these words. “Y-yes, they did, two weeks ago.” The mare’s expression sadden even more so as she looked over me. The mare tried to comfort me, telling me sweet words that everything was going to be alright, despite everything that was happening with the situation. They were words that I did not want to hear. “Honey, since their parents are no longer around, they have no legal guardian that can take care of them, this means that they have to be in a safe place.” Her words were kind, but they sounded cold to my ears. My eyes look at her in disbelief. I shook my head at her words. “No, this isn't happening.” To me, my voice sounded like a low whisper, shaky though. “You can’t take my sisters to a foal’s home.

“I- I want to be their legal guardian!” My voice came out, I had no true thoughts about it, responsibilities, consequences, and the work that would come along with the new found task. The mare tilted her head, looking over me, trying to get something clear. “May I ask something of you, how old are you?” I simply eyed her for minute before telling her I was seventeen. She nodded her head slowly and softly. “That is young sweetie, but I must say, that is not the youngest we have gotten.” I swallowed hard, thinking of ponies younger then I am stuck with the responsibilities I was about to take on. “May I ask how young was the youngest?” The mare nodded at my question. “Sixteen, but they had help from other ponies.”

The mare and I spoke for a while, she was stating very clearly. They all seemed rather reasonable to me. A part time job somewhere and someone to take care of them if I was unable to perform said task at any given time. My eyes wandered over to the carriage, thinking about my sisters in there. We spoke for a short bit more before I heard the voice of Vanilla. Her face was plastered against the window, still yelling as best as she could without hurting Strawberry's ears. “NEA! These crazy people are trying to take us! Tell them they can’t! We have our rights!” Strawberry was looking between Vanilla and me with a confused look across her face. “N-nea?” Her face was slowly becoming fearful, despite her sweet, slightly high-pitched, childish voice. “Are these people taking us away? I –I’m scared.”

I nodded my head in the direction of the mare, a silent note, wanting to speak to my sister in private. She bought it. I quickly made my way up to the side of the carriage, dreading the conversation I was about to have with them, more so Vanilla when Strawberry. With a deep sigh, I began to speak to them, a soft smile pressed against my face, despite the terrible pain in my heart. “Listen, sweetie, these nice ponies, they are going to you on a very good trip for a while.” I chuckled slightly, trying to make it sound a bit more lighthearted. “You are going to have lots of fun, and then after that, you are gonna come back home to me.” I made the smile grew wider for Strawberry’s sake. I watched as her small face lit up with happiness. “Really?! Oh thank you Nea!” Strawberry hugged me through the now opened window, I couldn't help but let the smile become true.

One was over and done with. That meant Vanilla was left. Turning my attention to her, her face was sour, hatred plastered all over with evil intent in her eyes. Only if looks could kill, I would be dead on the ground. There was no way I could use the same approach on her as I did for Strawberry. Vanilla knew where they were going, and she was fully against it from what I saw. I had suggested to Strawberry that she should take to the ponies in front of the carriage, and she did the sorts. Strawberry began to question the ponies, asking them questions of all sorts. Once Strawberry was possibly on the fourth question and was contempt of asking them much more, I turned my attention back to Vanilla, I lowered my voice, not wanting to gain Strawberry’s attention. “Vanilla, please believe me. I tried everything that I could to get you guys to come back home with me-“ Vanilla had just looked away from me, staring at a wall within the carriage.

“Vanilla, look at me please, listen to my words.” My whisper was slightly louder. Vanilla was staying disobedient, trying to burn holes in the side of the wall with her angered gaze. I swallowed hard, not wanting to raise my voice. “Vanilla, listen to me!” Eeyup, I had done it. Her head shot around, staring with deadly intent at me. “I am going to get you guys back, to our home! I promise you this. T-this is now my own goal, to get you guys back home, to our family. But you must do one thing. Watch Strawberry. She so small, please, look after her while you guys there… Please.” Her gaze broke, no longer directly looking at me. “Kay.” It was simple, but it was a response from her, it sound so harsh. Taking my hooves from the window and setting myself down, I watched as the duo began setting, ready to leave any second now. As it did so, I galloped alongside, doing my best to keep up. “Vanilla! I PROMISE THAT.” I slowed as the carriage began going faster. Watching it disappear, tears began flowing down my cheeks, sniffs and sobs coming loud from me as I uttered those same words again.
“I promise.”

___________________________________________________________________________
The task weren’t that hard, I was able to get a part-time job and I found someone, the requirements met. That was all I needed, all I wanted. They are back now, we are happy again, and I have gotten a new goal now.
Never be apart from them again.
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Members of CS... I grew up on this website, and it feels more like a second home to me than a simple pet website. And so, If you ever need someone to talk to... If you ever need a shoulder to cry on...If you just want to speak to someone to cheer you up, or you just need someone to make you smile...If it's your birthday...Or anything like that...Please Pm me. Because I believe that we are all brothers and sisters (and none binary siblings.) of this earth. I want to make you smile. I have virtual tissues and hugs <3 <3 <3 ~Seddie
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Re: MLP FIM OC Fanclub V1

Postby senpai » Fri May 24, 2013 1:45 pm

Cosmic~Wallaby wrote:
Snow huddled under his bed, blanket pulled over him to the extent you would barely know he was there. His wings were folded around him like some thin feathered shield. Like he could block it all out.
They had been screaming for a long time now. Hours. First it had just been his mother and sister arguing, but then his father had come home. Now each one was yelling, each trying to be louder than the others.
His older brother had taken out his younger brother and sister for ice cream as the fight had just been starting. He did his best to protect them from it all. But he was only a colt himself, not even found his talent yet.
He had been gone a long time now. To long Maybe he had taken them for good. He always said he would, if he could. Try and save somebody else from the hate.
Snow had stayed behind. He would be the one who cleaned up later, after all doors had been slammed. Cleared away the evidence so they could play happy families again.
The shouting increased as a smash was heard. That would be his mother. Throwing something down. He retreated further into the blanket and hit the wall. The yells increased as he shook. He had to get out, even for a little while.
He clambered on to his bed and scrabbled with fluffy hooves at the window. The latch was stiff but eventually he opened it. With a rapid flutter of his wings he floated from the third story and landed lightly on the pavement.
Then, putting his head down and ears back, the young colt ran away.


; ~ ; I wanna pet him.

Glad to see you back around, btw. c:
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Re: MLP FIM OC Fanclub V1

Postby bellidan4234 » Fri May 24, 2013 1:51 pm

PrincessSeddie wrote:
Bella Star4234 wrote:
PrincessSeddie wrote:Would be lovely if ANY of you could read this and tell me what you like/dislike about her personality? ^^ Thank you for ANY of your time!
__________
Image



Wow, Seddie! I wouldn't change her personality at all! She shows character and flaws, which proves she's both realistic and will be a good oc to build off of. My character, Bella Star, is quite like Vanilla. She's rude, but the difference is she has a different side to her. She can be nice, but when ponies act stupid around her, that usually sets off her 'dark side.' Anyway, I love your pony's personality, and I wouldn't change a thing! c:


Thank you so much! That means SO MUCH to me! ^^ She is a rebellious teenager that skips some classes, and will tell ponies exactly what she thinks of them. Her parents passed on a little while ago, and she has gone off the rails recently- while her elder sister attempts to look after them.

I shall be posting a story soon, I'm hoping a few of my family members here might read a little of it and give me the type of feel they get off vanilla in it xD <3



hey, Bella's parents died when Bella was just a filly! (Is it odd that Vanilla's parents died too? The two ponies are so alike!) I hope I'll have time to read the story! I bet it'll be amazing! c:
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Re: MLP FIM OC Fanclub V1

Postby christine, » Fri May 24, 2013 1:53 pm

Wow Seddie; Thats awesome!
I am still trying to think of a name for my icecream pony. I also want to make her a pegasus and give her a cutie XD

And ideas, anyone?
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Re: MLP FIM OC Fanclub V1

Postby Brûlée » Fri May 24, 2013 1:57 pm

PrincessSeddie wrote:It would honestly mean, so much to me, If you could read this story that was wrote by me- and edited BEAUTIFULLY By Mikune! I would absoloutely love it if you could tell me the type of feel you get from Vanilla in this story?
This story is told by the eldest sister of Vanilla Salt and Strawberry Shimmer.- (Who is named Neapolitan
*Thank you to ANYONE who even reads without commenting! It means a lot since it took a while to write <3 And i'm sure it would mean a lot to Mikune because it took a long time for her to write too!

The day I was left with my sisters?
I remember that day well.
I was home, all day, letting the peace overcome me. I was to be the one who inherited the house due to my father leaving it in his will. I was there, near the warm, glowing fireplace. The flames licked skywards through the chimney. The peace, it was a bit overwhelming. I’d say I’m a bit then I was the last week, after all, last week… I was crying nonstop. Compared to that, this bliss.

This bliss, it was short, too short for the weight of my heart. There was knocking at the cottage door, my mind assume it was some kind of sales pony, trying to make me purchase whatever ware that they had. The knocking had become loud and it’s pace quickened, frantic might I say. With it ruining me peace and silence, I could no longer stand. Within moments, I was at the door, ready to give this sale pony a piece of mind, though too much of my joy, it was my dearest, closest friend.

She was breathing heavily, staring deeply into my eyes. She was rather shaking. Her voice stuttered as she tried to form a sentence, it finally came out. “Y-Your sister! Somepony is taking them!” I began to question her words. “What?” Yeah, sad. Those were the only words I could come out with as my mind processed her word. When it clicked, I bolted from her side, heading straight to the school yard that my sisters’ attended. The warm of a scarf on this cold day was far out of my mind, I was just worrying about getting to school as fast as I could

When I had reached the school, my eyes were greeted with the image of my sister, Strawberry, inside the confines of a carriage near the school gate. Why of all reasons was she in a carriage? My mind was racing with possibilities; all of them scared me. Something pierced the awkward silence, screaming, shouting, the voice was familiar.
“KEEP YOUR DIRTY HOOVES OFF OF ME! YOU CAN’T TAKE ME, TOUCH ME, DO ANYTHING! I KNOW MY RIGHTS!” My eyes landed on my other sister, Vanilla. She was being forcefully being dragged along by two ponies, a mare and stallion, both wearing a posh naval uniform. The mare leaned in closer to Vanilla, speaking in a soft tone, “yes, you do have your rights, and one of those is for you to be safe. My friend here and I are trying to ensure that.” The mare was attempts at calming my sister down were in vain.

“NO! I DEMAND TO SEE A LAWYER, SOMETHING! YOU CAN’T JUST TAKE ME SOMEWHERE WITHOUT MY CONSENT! THIS IS KIDNAPPING!” Vanilla was raising her voice so it was even louder, clearly saying each word with her protesting. The ponies of the playground began to stare, questioning what was happening. The stallion was no longer pulling her along, but behind her, in case if Vanilla had any thoughts of running away. His silence finally broke. “We just want to make sure you are safe from any threat.” Vanilla was simply not buying into this. She longer gave any mind to the two, and her voice cringed out for help now.

“HELP! SOMEONE! I AM BEING KIDNAPPED BY THIS TWO CRAZY PONIES WHO DON’T EVEN LISTEN TO REASON! OH CELESTIA! THEY ARE PROBABLY GOING TO SELL ME OFF ON THE BLACK MARKET OR HOLD SOME KIND OF EXTREME RANSOM! SOMEONE! HELP ME!” Her voice was now hoarse from screaming, still trying to free herself from the mare’s grasp.

The stallion’s face soured, his hoof was now on Vanilla’s back as her begun to gently push her into the carriage alongside Strawberry. My head shook violently, had I just sat idle by and watch what just happened. I began again, going from a slow trot into a full gallop, quickly making my way up to the carriage. The mare of the duo had her nose buried into some note she was writing, glancing up only for a second to notice me coming at her. Her voice sounded a bit harsh as she spoke at me. “Who are you?” Her eyes peered at me through her glasses. “I-I’m Neapolitan, may I ask what you are you doing to my sisters and where are you taking them?!” I guess you could say I was angry at these two. The mare’s eyes flickered with sadness as she began to shuffle through the terrible large paper stack she now had. “ It says here on the papers, that the parents of these minors, Vanilla Salt and Strawberry Shimmer, had recently passed away in a carriage crash, a bit unfortunate might I add. “

My head dropped slightly upon hearing these words. “Y-yes, they did, two weeks ago.” The mare’s expression sadden even more so as she looked over me. The mare tried to comfort me, telling me sweet words that everything was going to be alright, despite everything that was happening with the situation. They were words that I did not want to hear. “Honey, since their parents are no longer around, they have no legal guardian that can take care of them, this means that they have to be in a safe place.” Her words were kind, but they sounded cold to my ears. My eyes look at her in disbelief. I shook my head at her words. “No, this isn't happening.” To me, my voice sounded like a low whisper, shaky though. “You can’t take my sisters to a foal’s home.

“I- I want to be their legal guardian!” My voice came out, I had no true thoughts about it, responsibilities, consequences, and the work that would come along with the new found task. The mare tilted her head, looking over me, trying to get something clear. “May I ask something of you, how old are you?” I simply eyed her for minute before telling her I was seventeen. She nodded her head slowly and softly. “That is young sweetie, but I must say, that is not the youngest we have gotten.” I swallowed hard, thinking of ponies younger then I am stuck with the responsibilities I was about to take on. “May I ask how young was the youngest?” The mare nodded at my question. “Sixteen, but they had help from other ponies.”

The mare and I spoke for a while, she was stating very clearly. They all seemed rather reasonable to me. A part time job somewhere and someone to take care of them if I was unable to perform said task at any given time. My eyes wandered over to the carriage, thinking about my sisters in there. We spoke for a short bit more before I heard the voice of Vanilla. Her face was plastered against the window, still yelling as best as she could without hurting Strawberry's ears. “NEA! These crazy people are trying to take us! Tell them they can’t! We have our rights!” Strawberry was looking between Vanilla and me with a confused look across her face. “N-nea?” Her face was slowly becoming fearful, despite her sweet, slightly high-pitched, childish voice. “Are these people taking us away? I –I’m scared.”

I nodded my head in the direction of the mare, a silent note, wanting to speak to my sister in private. She bought it. I quickly made my way up to the side of the carriage, dreading the conversation I was about to have with them, more so Vanilla when Strawberry. With a deep sigh, I began to speak to them, a soft smile pressed against my face, despite the terrible pain in my heart. “Listen, sweetie, these nice ponies, they are going to you on a very good trip for a while.” I chuckled slightly, trying to make it sound a bit more lighthearted. “You are going to have lots of fun, and then after that, you are gonna come back home to me.” I made the smile grew wider for Strawberry’s sake. I watched as her small face lit up with happiness. “Really?! Oh thank you Nea!” Strawberry hugged me through the now opened window, I couldn't help but let the smile become true.

One was over and done with. That meant Vanilla was left. Turning my attention to her, her face was sour, hatred plastered all over with evil intent in her eyes. Only if looks could kill, I would be dead on the ground. There was no way I could use the same approach on her as I did for Strawberry. Vanilla knew where they were going, and she was fully against it from what I saw. I had suggested to Strawberry that she should take to the ponies in front of the carriage, and she did the sorts. Strawberry began to question the ponies, asking them questions of all sorts. Once Strawberry was possibly on the fourth question and was contempt of asking them much more, I turned my attention back to Vanilla, I lowered my voice, not wanting to gain Strawberry’s attention. “Vanilla, please believe me. I tried everything that I could to get you guys to come back home with me-“ Vanilla had just looked away from me, staring at a wall within the carriage.

“Vanilla, look at me please, listen to my words.” My whisper was slightly louder. Vanilla was staying disobedient, trying to burn holes in the side of the wall with her angered gaze. I swallowed hard, not wanting to raise my voice. “Vanilla, listen to me!” Eeyup, I had done it. Her head shot around, staring with deadly intent at me. “I am going to get you guys back, to our home! I promise you this. T-this is now my own goal, to get you guys back home, to our family. But you must do one thing. Watch Strawberry. She so small, please, look after her while you guys there… Please.” Her gaze broke, no longer directly looking at me. “Kay.” It was simple, but it was a response from her, it sound so harsh. Taking my hooves from the window and setting myself down, I watched as the duo began setting, ready to leave any second now. As it did so, I galloped alongside, doing my best to keep up. “Vanilla! I PROMISE THAT.” I slowed as the carriage began going faster. Watching it disappear, tears began flowing down my cheeks, sniffs and sobs coming loud from me as I uttered those same words again.
“I promise.”

___________________________________________________________________________
The task weren’t that hard, I was able to get a part-time job and I found someone, the requirements met. That was all I needed, all I wanted. They are back now, we are happy again, and I have gotten a new goal now.
Never be apart from them again.


The story was very good, albeit, long. Great job.

And I realized a plot-hole in Pathway pleasures cutie mark story. She volunteers to help out, as a tornado hit a local village. She is given the job of cleaning up the yard, and she full-out landscapes it.


Also, I really need to make a reference of Sorbet Sugar, my own Ice-cream pony.

My problem is, why would the pegasi make a tornado?
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Re: MLP FIM OC Fanclub V1

Postby synthwave » Fri May 24, 2013 2:06 pm

Cinnamon~Toastie wrote:[size=85]Username
Cinnamon~toastie

Pony's name
ShallowSong

Pony's gender
Female

Species
Okapi

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Okapi pony?
Let me love you.
She is adorable.
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Image arcade/deerhe/pup/plushadult
just a lil guy who's usually found on the oekaki
i have bad anxiety and memory so i may not respond to things quickly!
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