Artesian wrote:I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post this, but I have a question for you all.
As a writer, I frequently want to include a romantic relationship in my stories. However, I find rather untraditional things attractive in a guy (I'm heterosexual and sapiosexual - attracted to intelligence far over any other traits). I just don't get most attraction to physical features beyond what tells my subconscious that they're healthy, so when my friends gush over the appearance of say, Thor, my fictional crush is on a four foot nine inches, charming, super-intelligent, caring and driven cripple. Thus my writing for my characters is generally not based on what I find attractive, because I'm pretty sure I'm in the minority opinion there.
So. I'm curious what you all find sexually (or romantically) attractive in others? (I'm especially curious for the queer perspective on this, as I find writing characters of non-hetero orientation difficult).
I know it's not a relationship question but...
I used to think I was sapiosexual as well. My first boyfriend was picked 90% because of his intelligence. Then he turned, in all truth, into a intelligentsia-Nazi. He started believing that those with IQs above 135, like him and I, were superior to others. (admittedly he was from Georgia so perhaps I should have seen some sort of -ism as likely, but still...)
He ruined that for me. I started to consider people on less of an intelligence basis and more on the basis of how we work together. Some people who are exceptionally smart I just can't stand; but most of my close friends and my boyfriend are also very bright. Some gamers are just obnoxious little turds; most of the aforementioned people are gamers. The list goes on.
Sexual attraction I find is based mostly on a sense of power. I don't like people who seem weak-willed or unsure of what they want. I like a sense of self and a somewhat dominant personality. At the same time, I don't like people who take their power for granted. It has to be self-confidence, not arrogance. (In spite of this I think the Avengers' universe Loki is sexy as hell)
Romantic attraction, honestly, is based in a large part off of a sense of humor. They have to laugh at my jokes and make some of their own. This includes a lot of shared cultural references suggesting we share a lot more in common, but the shared laughter I consider very bonding.
If you want to describe love interests well, describe them as little as possible. This lets your reader insert their imagination and brings them into the story on a more personal note.
