Crushes, Boyfriends and Girlfriends | V3

[~IronRose~]

So, I am having some problems of my own, I really want to let go of my last crush C because I know we may never see each other again and I think the best way to forget about him is to get a boyfriend. But I want it to be someone I acctualy like, you see I was asked out 4 times this year and I said no each time because it wasn't someone I like and there is this one guy I really want to be with, we'll call him B. I think he may have a girlfriend but I haven't seen him with her at all for the past 4 or 5 months. I seem to have this problem now where I only like guys who are two years older than me or already have a girlfriend. I know there is only a little bit of time let but it's now or never, right? I really want a boyfriend, but I don't know how to get one. Please help?!?!?

[Outlander]

Okay, I am in some dire need of advice. I really didn't want to talk about it, but I guess I have to at this point.

My boyfriend broke up with me on Valentines. Big heartbreak, argument... Whole nine yards of pain for me. I know, I can't control how he feels, and he had his reasons, but it hurt.

The bad part of this? We settled on sticking to friends like it was before. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal, but it's proving to be the worse road for me to walk. It's been over two months now, and I still can't shake all of these feelings for him as much as I'd love to hate him. Every time I see him, I have to restrain myself from resting my head on his shoulder or chest. Everything I see him only chatting with other girls, I instantly feel this unspeakable jealousy and defensiveness, and I keep jumping to the idea he's with someone else or is crushing on another girl. Whenever I say hello or goodbye, I barely can stop myself from pecking him on the cheek or neck. When I'm crying or asking advice from him, I find myself wishing he was holding my hand or holding me close like he once did, telling me it'll be okay.

One of the saddest things I guess is I miss the feeling of a pendant he gave me around my neck. It was a comfort and rock for me, it made me feel safe and know he was waiting for me to help. But I gave it back shortly after we broke up, and now I walk around with this bare chain. When I try to talk to him about my feelings and this, I find instead I'm snapping or taking a stab at him verbally.

This is becoming a living heck for me and I can't speak about it. Not if I want to wind up in a convent or asylum like my grandmother and mother were saying because I'm 'unstable.' And there are so many other things that just orbit around this heartache I can't heal. I... I'd like any advice anyone can offer...

In my opinion, it's best for you to not go the "still friends" route. Especially in your case, where you still have feelings for him. It's just going to bring up bad memories. My advice? Do what you need to do to get closure, then move on.

[G.L'S]

So, I am having some problems of my own, I really want to let go of my last crush C because I know we may never see each other again and I think the best way to forget about him is to get a boyfriend. But I want it to be someone I acctualy like, you see I was asked out 4 times this year and I said no each time because it wasn't someone I like and there is this one guy I really want to be with, we'll call him B. I think he may have a girlfriend but I haven't seen him with her at all for the past 4 or 5 months. I seem to have this problem now where I only like guys who are two years older than me or already have a girlfriend. I know there is only a little bit of time let but it's now or never, right? I really want a boyfriend, but I don't know how to get one. Please help?!?!?

Getting a boyfriend really isn't a good idea if you're trying to distract yourself from another guy, you need time to heal and move on and a 'rebound' so to speak won't solve that. Having a significant other is not just for the concept of having someone but connecting with someone on a deeper level and possibly spend the rest of your life with. Be honest with yourself and really think about why you want a boyfriend so badly before going out and exploring options.
If you solidly believe that a boyfriend is the answer, then go exploring but don't jump into anything. When you feel connected with someone, things will lead on from there and you'll be able to tell if it'll work out or not. Mr. Right will come along in his own good time so don't worry about the here-and-now so to speak, if it's not now it's later.

[Outlander]

So, seeing as it is impossible to give advice 24/7, I've decided to create a bit of a guide of my most widely held views on relationships, especially at a younge age.

(NOTE: This is not foolproof. This is not exact. This is my opinions and most widely given advice. I'd still urge people to seek personalized advice)

1. A Boyfriend/Girlfriend is not a requirement:

Be it for happiness or respect from your peers, you shouldn't force yourself to like someone that you, frankly, don't. It's not healthy to you emotionally, and, if you don't like the person, it probably won't pan out anyway.

2. Usually, the direct approach is the best approach:

If you like someone, ask them how they feel. If you don't like someone that likes you, tell them how you feel. It's leagues better than having a friend do it for you, or sending a text, or leaving a note. It shows you care, and leaves less room for miscommunication.

3. If a relationship doesn't work out, don't immediately jump on the first person you see:

If a relationship with someone that you had real feelings for doesn't pan, it's unhealthy to pounce into another relationship. Odds are, it's you psychologically trying to fill a gap that's been left from the previous relationship. There are exceptions, but this guide is in general.

4. Signs can be misleading:

At least, that's how you perceive them can. Your crush looking at you from a block away for a second doesn't mean he has always loved you. If your significant other doesn't reply to your text within 2 minutes doesn't mean he hates you. While signs can help you, they aren't a tell all, and you should only give so much weight to them.

5. Harassment isn't OK:

I know I've heard of people on here being harassed. This isn't right, nor should you allow it to happen. If someone likes you but you don't, be firm. If they persist, stay strong. If the person tries something, tell an adult. It is harassment, and it's best to cut it off quickly.

Now, a few quick notes on talking to us about your individual situations:
1. More information is always better.
2. If need be, P.M. You don't have to say this publicly.
3. We aren't psychic, not are we always right. Take our services knowing that.
4. As much as I try to keep up with all the C's and E's, they get confusing, and I usually gloss over them. Please, use a name or alias.
5. Some are better with advice than others. Someone that has major relationship problems probably should be rain less seriously than someone with a stable relationship.

Well, that's about it. If I need to, I may move this to a new topic or his update it here as need be.

[~IronRose~]

So, I am having some problems of my own, I really want to let go of my last crush C because I know we may never see each other again and I think the best way to forget about him is to get a boyfriend. But I want it to be someone I acctualy like, you see I was asked out 4 times this year and I said no each time because it wasn't someone I like and there is this one guy I really want to be with, we'll call him B. I think he may have a girlfriend but I haven't seen him with her at all for the past 4 or 5 months. I seem to have this problem now where I only like guys who are two years older than me or already have a girlfriend. I know there is only a little bit of time let but it's now or never, right? I really want a boyfriend, but I don't know how to get one. Please help?!?!?

Getting a boyfriend really isn't a good idea if you're trying to distract yourself from another guy, you need time to heal and move on and a 'rebound' so to speak won't solve that. Having a significant other is not just for the concept of having someone but connecting with someone on a deeper level and possibly spend the rest of your life with. Be honest with yourself and really think about why you want a boyfriend so badly before going out and exploring options.
If you solidly believe that a boyfriend is the answer, then go exploring but don't jump into anything. When you feel connected with someone, things will lead on from there and you'll be able to tell if it'll work out or not. Mr. Right will come along in his own good time so don't worry about the here-and-now so to speak, if it's not now it's later.

Thank you, the thing is I think I really want this guy and it's hard seeing everyone around me have someone and me not being able to have the same thing. I know it sounds stupid but I want to have that experience, and it's no help that my mom is a teacher where I go.

[Pongo.]

Ok, so I am kinda in a predicament here. For the first time in my life, 2 guys like me. One totally fits my personality, but, he is... too big for me. I have nothing against big people because my cousin is like 320lbs. But if he could squish me like a bug, id rather not go out with him, and I don't know him well enough. The other guy is completely different from me and way skinnier than me (which makes me feel fat) and, he is weird and gets really annoying and really clingy and jealous. I cant deal with that. I don't really think I'm emotionally stable to be dating, and I already told the guy with the same personality that and he totally got it. But, I don't know bow to tell the other guy...

[[x]]

ARGH I'M SO STUPID!! There are two guys in my class that ever so possibly like me. One of them is Jackson, an ever hot, funny, sarcastic guy who I LOVE to be around. The other is Jordan, a weird, smart-ass and still completely adorable.

I just... kinda like both of them...and I've already gotten over Jackson! It's like he's crawling through my body into my heart and mind but, I only want to like him as a friend. As soon as I like someone, they never show signs of liking me, when I don't like them, they draw me back in!

[grim.]

I have two questions for you people today. If this is the wrong thread, please direct my attention elsewhere. Thank you!

I feel as thought this belongs here as I do still love the person in question.
"I have a question for you people regarding drunk people. So I have an ex boyfriend who lives in the next province over, we text each other and we're pretty much best friends. But anyways, he calls me the other night and he's drunk out of his tree. But he talks to me the whole time he's with his friends, introduces them to me and whatnot. Anyways, getting to the point he kept saying "I miss you" and when we finally ended our conversation he said the words "I love you". I don't take these words lightly, but my friend is convinced he still cares about me, yet at the same time I wonder about it because, well, he was drunk. Any advice or tips?"

Secondly:
Okay, so I like another boy, now my friend is convinced he likes me, I on the other hand am completely convinced that he thinks I'm bat-s**t crazy, which I proudly am. So here is my story/question;
So I walk my friend partway to her bus, she gets on and I just kind of stand outside my school awkwardly waiting for my brother. While I'm waiting I notice 'Crisp' (guy I like) sitting at one of the tables not far away. Anyways this guy 'Cy' comes out of the school with 'Bish' and 'Cable'(Cable being Crisp's brother). These three guys come out of the school and they're talking to me, asking me for a lighter. I don't have one so Cy and Bish take off and just as they leave Crisp comes up to me and Cable, gestures towards me slightly and says; "that's who I was telling you about."
Now, what do I make of this?

usually people are nore honest when drunk, I've found. they say things they wouldn't dare sober, and find it difficult to lie. they do usually get more emotional and"caring" I guess you could say though. I don't know really, it could depend on what he is like drunk, some say they love everyone, some don't

That much I understood about drunk people, I know that when I drink I tend to turn into quite a jerk, even to people I like. I'm only nice to people I really care about. I haven't really drank with him before, but he does seem to get emotional the few times I have seen him drink, but more towards himself and not the people around him. Tending to focus on the more bitter aspects of life. However he could have changed since he moved, but I don't know for sure.
Anyone have any other advice on either topic?

[thunderofthedrum]

So, I am having some problems of my own, I really want to let go of my last crush C because I know we may never see each other again and I think the best way to forget about him is to get a boyfriend. But I want it to be someone I acctualy like, you see I was asked out 4 times this year and I said no each time because it wasn't someone I like and there is this one guy I really want to be with, we'll call him B. I think he may have a girlfriend but I haven't seen him with her at all for the past 4 or 5 months. I seem to have this problem now where I only like guys who are two years older than me or already have a girlfriend. I know there is only a little bit of time let but it's now or never, right? I really want a boyfriend, but I don't know how to get one. Please help?!?!?

Getting a boyfriend really isn't a good idea if you're trying to distract yourself from another guy, you need time to heal and move on and a 'rebound' so to speak won't solve that. Having a significant other is not just for the concept of having someone but connecting with someone on a deeper level and possibly spend the rest of your life with. Be honest with yourself and really think about why you want a boyfriend so badly before going out and exploring options.
If you solidly believe that a boyfriend is the answer, then go exploring but don't jump into anything. When you feel connected with someone, things will lead on from there and you'll be able to tell if it'll work out or not. Mr. Right will come along in his own good time so don't worry about the here-and-now so to speak, if it's not now it's later.

Thank you, the thing is I think I really want this guy and it's hard seeing everyone around me have someone and me not being able to have the same thing. I know it sounds stupid but I want to have that experience, and it's no help that my mom is a teacher where I go.

With that 'B' guy (it would be way easier if we had a name to use, not a single letter), really all you can do for now is be friendly and try to find out if he still has a girlfriend. If he does, then keep your polite distance out of respect for their relationship - no one likes a homewrecker!

I understand you are not looking for Mr Right - you just crave the experience of having a boyfriend. You want to fit in with your friends and be able to relate to their experiences. That's totally normal! And you are young, you are just starting to dip your toes into the dating pool to get a feel for how things work. That's fine. The choices you make are yours alone - whether you say yes to a guy just to be able to have a boyfriend or whether you hold out for 'the one' and are therefore unable to relate to your friends for a while. Any path will have ups and downs, pros and cons.

We can't tell you want to do, but I want you to know that what you are feeling is normal and understandable, just don't be too hasty about finding a boyfriend. I know it's really hard to feel left out - teachers lecture about peer pressure but it's very very real, to feel like you don't fit in because you are unlike the others in some way.

Ok, so I am kinda in a predicament here. For the first time in my life, 2 guys like me. One totally fits my personality, but, he is... too big for me. I have nothing against big people because my cousin is like 320lbs. But if he could squish me like a bug, id rather not go out with him, and I don't know him well enough. The other guy is completely different from me and way skinnier than me (which makes me feel fat) and, he is weird and gets really annoying and really clingy and jealous. I cant deal with that. I don't really think I'm emotionally stable to be dating, and I already told the guy with the same personality that and he totally got it. But, I don't know bow to tell the other guy...

I don't know what to say except that I think it was cool of the first guy to be understanding. You didn't mention whether you have any interest in the guys, but with the first - just because someone's larger in body doesn't mean they are oblivious or careless with it. I'm skinny as a rail and still sometimes hit my shoulder on counters and door frames because I was oblivious and tried to cut the corner too much - that's pathetic. So, while I understand you don't know him well and may not feel attracted towards him, at least out of the two guys liking you he seemed more sensible.

Good luck with the other guy. You could try the same approach - just say you're not ready for dating or even fib and say you're not allowed. By keeping the focus on the reason being YOU and not him, I think that can avoid hurting his feelings much. He still won't be pleased - rejection is never easy - but it's a good idea to be communicative and get it over with.

[Ninja Jedi]

So, seeing as it is impossible to give advice 24/7, I've decided to create a bit of a guide of my most widely held views on relationships, especially at a younge age.

(NOTE: This is not foolproof. This is not exact. This is my opinions and most widely given advice. I'd still urge people to seek personalized advice)

1. A Boyfriend/Girlfriend is not a requirement:

Be it for happiness or respect from your peers, you shouldn't force yourself to like someone that you, frankly, don't. It's not healthy to you emotionally, and, if you don't like the person, it probably won't pan out anyway.

2. Usually, the direct approach is the best approach:

If you like someone, ask them how they feel. If you don't like someone that likes you, tell them how you feel. It's leagues better than having a friend do it for you, or sending a text, or leaving a note. It shows you care, and leaves less room for miscommunication.

3. If a relationship doesn't work out, don't immediately jump on the first person you see:

If a relationship with someone that you had real feelings for doesn't pan, it's unhealthy to pounce into another relationship. Odds are, it's you psychologically trying to fill a gap that's been left from the previous relationship. There are exceptions, but this guide is in general.

4. Signs can be misleading:

At least, that's how you perceive them can. Your crush looking at you from a block away for a second doesn't mean he has always loved you. If your significant other doesn't reply to your text within 2 minutes doesn't mean he hates you. While signs can help you, they aren't a tell all, and you should only give so much weight to them.

5. Harassment isn't OK:

I know I've heard of people on here being harassed. This isn't right, nor should you allow it to happen. If someone likes you but you don't, be firm. If they persist, stay strong. If the person tries something, tell an adult. It is harassment, and it's best to cut it off quickly.

Now, a few quick notes on talking to us about your individual situations:
1. More information is always better.
2. If need be, P.M. You don't have to say this publicly.
3. We aren't psychic, not are we always right. Take our services knowing that.
4. As much as I try to keep up with all the C's and E's, they get confusing, and I usually gloss over them. Please, use a name or alias.
5. Some are better with advice than others. Someone that has major relationship problems probably should be rain less seriously than someone with a stable relationship.

Well, that's about it. If I need to, I may move this to a new topic or his update it here as need be.

You're just quite the expert aren't you?