|TheComfortCorner|

[c h r i s t m a s]

ok guys i know i post here way to often. But last night i didn't complete my meal so my mom put boost out for me. I refused to drink it and she took me to the ER, now im scared that even though i have 2 weeks left of school i won't be able to finish up. I want to graduate with my friends, i told my mom to please let me stay just til schools over but i have a feeling shes going to send my to traetment under my will before then. ((the boost you would only understand if you have been in treatment)) I feel so horrible, my mom says im almost back down to the weight i was when i went into to treatment. I don't feel like i am at ALL. My life is going downhill and im slowly dying in the inside.

so... i started IOP which is a 3 hour treatment 3 days a week, its going to cut into my student council.
I just feel so done. I am done

[theexileofkiem]

;u; I'm just in a pretty bad mood this morning. I was expecting to wake up to some nice trades and such, but instead I had a board warning waiting for me. Apparently my signature picture was too inappropriate for the site. I questioned how that was so, considering the girls weren't even kissing. They had their lips pressed together in an awkward position and were about to. Roleplays allow that much. I've seen plenty of other signatures and avatars that involve kissing. It is an innocent act of love.

The reply I got? "Roleplays allow innocent kisses on the lips, not that kind of kissing, sorry." That kind of kissing? I'm not going to argue it any further since that would be pointless, but do you remember the part where I said they weren't even kissing yet? Yeah. I do not understand...

^ This was my little online rant. You can ignore it if you'd like. It is what I am going to post below, that I would like advice on.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oooookay. Before I start, I am going to ask that you please not rage at me about how "what we're doing is animal abuse" and all of that. I know it isn't right, but I do not see it as flat out abuse. All of these cats are very well fed, have plenty of room to run and play, and get SO much attention. They are all very happy. It is me who isn't.

My fiance and I accidentally have a hoard of cats. It started a few years ago before I even lived with them when her dad brought home four kittens as a surprise. The real surprise? They were all female, but since we were already attached to them we figured we would be okay with it. So wrong. Especially after an adult female stray was dropped off and we couldn't turn her down.

That was five cats who each had a litter of kittens. We promised ourselves that we would only keep the few we really liked and re-home the rest. We weren't able to find them homes, didn't want to take them to the local shelter due to the high kill rate, and ended up loving them all too much, anyway.

That left us with eighteen cats. Nineteen, after another female with a broken leg showed up on out front porch. Couldn't turn her down either. And now, since those five litters of kittens (which were mostly girls, by the way) have had time to grow up...now they're having babies. We have EIGHT litters of kittens. Eight. You know what that means? We have about 51 cats now. It is so overwhelming to me. I don't want all of these cats. I don't want them to end up being put down at the shelter. No one around here wants them.

(WARNING: It gets a bit gross from here) This situation has evolved into being a hazard to both my mental and my physical health. Mentally, because these cats like to come in and out of the house all day. We can't keep them out because my /lovely/ mother-in-law doesn't try to keep them out when goes out to smoke. I am easily irritated and I get frustrated beyond believe over constantly having to get cats off the stoves/counters/etc. Constantly trailing behind everyone making sure they didn't leave any food out, because the cats will get it. This is literally my everyday life. I can never enjoy myself without having to wonder what kind of trouble they are getting into. Especially when my fiance sleeps 4-6 hours more a day than I do, so she isn't up to handle them.

Now..about it being a hazard to my physical health. Even though they all know how to, not all of the cats want to use to litter box. I try to keep up with it but with nineteen cats...I will go ahead and say that I gag with the smell of the house sometimes. I can shower and drown myself in body spray and my parents can still smell the cat on me. My friends can't even come in because it smells so bad.

;u; It doesn't matter what I do. I can get down on my hands and knees and scrub the landing of our stairs for hours. It will be clean for maybe ONE day before the cats are already using it as their box. Not only this, but..okay this is incredibly gross. There are a handful of cats that won't stop urinating on the stove and counters. When I wipe them down, they are black with general grime from the cats walking on them so much. NONE of my clothes aren't covered in thick cat hair.

I..just feel so helpless in this situation. We all love these cats so much, and it would kill my fiance to get rid of them, but I feel like they literally have be on the verge of some sort of break down. It is getting to the point where I want to hurt them each time they get on the counters. What would we even do with them? No one wants adult cats. They should know better by now. I just don't understand. I just don't know what to do. ;u; Any advice?

I know it is hard to let go but you can constantly love all of them... I would suggest spaying most of the girls (or at least the one that breed the most) if you can... The males might be easier to get neutered though... It will probably cost less and also they can't make more babies. But you really need to find some homes for most of those kitties! Try putting them up on petfinder or finding a good shelter or foster home for them even if that means going farther away. But with petfinder people across the us (or anywhere in the world I belive) can view your cats that you put up for adoption and can adopt them out from there!

*hugs* if you try as hard as possible to get some kitties good homes that could actually save their lives i hope everything goes well and that those crazy kitties settle

[ratsy]

ok guys i know i post here way to often. But last night i didn't complete my meal so my mom put boost out for me. I refused to drink it and she took me to the ER, now im scared that even though i have 2 weeks left of school i won't be able to finish up. I want to graduate with my friends, i told my mom to please let me stay just til schools over but i have a feeling shes going to send my to traetment under my will before then. ((the boost you would only understand if you have been in treatment)) I feel so horrible, my mom says im almost back down to the weight i was when i went into to treatment. I don't feel like i am at ALL. My life is going downhill and im slowly dying in the inside.

so... i started IOP which is a 3 hour treatment 3 days a week, its going to cut into my student council.
I just feel so done. I am done

You aren't going to die! You are never done until you win, c h r i s t m a s. Really. I am sure your mom only wants the best for you. She is probably just worrying! Your life isn't going downhill. Just, every mountain has a few ditches. Keep your head up.
*hugs*

[c h r i s t m a s]

ok guys i know i post here way to often. But last night i didn't complete my meal so my mom put boost out for me. I refused to drink it and she took me to the ER, now im scared that even though i have 2 weeks left of school i won't be able to finish up. I want to graduate with my friends, i told my mom to please let me stay just til schools over but i have a feeling shes going to send my to traetment under my will before then. ((the boost you would only understand if you have been in treatment)) I feel so horrible, my mom says im almost back down to the weight i was when i went into to treatment. I don't feel like i am at ALL. My life is going downhill and im slowly dying in the inside.

so... i started IOP which is a 3 hour treatment 3 days a week, its going to cut into my student council.
I just feel so done. I am done

You aren't going to die! You are never done until you win, c h r i s t m a s. Really. I am sure your mom only wants the best for you. She is probably just worrying! Your life isn't going downhill. Just, every mountain has a few ditches. Keep your head up.
*hugs*

*hugs back* ya... its just hard to keep your head up when you have no hope

[theexileofkiem]

I feel way younger than I actually am. Even my mother admitted she sees me as mentally a few years younger. It's really frustrating because just as I got good friends, they are leaving to see the world. I'm supposed to go out of state for college this fall but I feel like I should be a sophomore in high school again. I'm so worried I'm not good enough to get in the program I really want because I'm behind. How am supposed to fit with people become adults when I feel like a 15-year-old. I'll be the strange one and I'm worried I'll never meet someone who will love me, I don't want to be alone but how is childish person with personal issues going to have anyone who falls for them.
I just wish I would have been held back. *sigh* But I don't think my parents could stand me for much longer, much less my friends...

Ya I know what you feel like for the most part... I'm a youngish teen and I still love dinosaur eggs oatmeal... And have a gazillions stuffed animals...
I'm sorry your friends are leaving I'm sure you are good enough to get in to any program you want and you are certainly worthy of love

Turn that frown upside down, have a cookie, and a hug *hugs and Ives cookie*

[ratsy]

*hugs back* ya... its just hard to keep your head up when you have no hope

You do have hope! Try appealing to your mom's emotional side. Try believing your mom about your treatment helping.
Hope is always there, no matter what.

[theexileofkiem]

I am so stressed right now... I'm starting to shut down a bit and get what I can done and just relax with my mom and dad... My teachers may be sad tomarrow... Or pissed... But I did actually do the work I could...


I really need a hug please

[-_____-]

I am so stressed right now... I'm starting to shut down a bit and get what I can done and just relax with my mom and dad... My teachers may be sad tomarrow... Or pissed... But I did actually do the work I could...


I really need a hug please

*hugs x10000* I am sure everything will be fine (: As long as you did your best, that is all you can do!

[Lydianna]

I am so stressed right now... I'm starting to shut down a bit and get what I can done and just relax with my mom and dad... My teachers may be sad tomarrow... Or pissed... But I did actually do the work I could...


I really need a hug please

/hugs.
dont stress about it, it will only make it worse.
remember its a temporary issue. (:

[theexileofkiem]

I am so stressed right now... I'm starting to shut down a bit and get what I can done and just relax with my mom and dad... My teachers may be sad tomarrow... Or pissed... But I did actually do the work I could...


I really need a hug please

*hugs x10000* I am sure everything will be fine (: As long as you did your best, that is all you can do!

Thank you! And I just feel like I didn't do enough... I don't really know why... But even when I have done my best on projects in the past my teachers still chew on my butt about every little thing...