|TheComfortCorner|

[c h r i s t m a s]

ok guys i know i post here way to often. But last night i didn't complete my meal so my mom put boost out for me. I refused to drink it and she took me to the ER, now im scared that even though i have 2 weeks left of school i won't be able to finish up. I want to graduate with my friends, i told my mom to please let me stay just til schools over but i have a feeling shes going to send my to traetment under my will before then. ((the boost you would only understand if you have been in treatment)) I feel so horrible, my mom says im almost back down to the weight i was when i went into to treatment. I don't feel like i am at ALL. My life is going downhill and im slowly dying in the inside.

[-_____-]

;u; I'm just in a pretty bad mood this morning. I was expecting to wake up to some nice trades and such, but instead I had a board warning waiting for me. Apparently my signature picture was too inappropriate for the site. I questioned how that was so, considering the girls weren't even kissing. They had their lips pressed together in an awkward position and were about to. Roleplays allow that much. I've seen plenty of other signatures and avatars that involve kissing. It is an innocent act of love.

The reply I got? "Roleplays allow innocent kisses on the lips, not that kind of kissing, sorry." That kind of kissing? I'm not going to argue it any further since that would be pointless, but do you remember the part where I said they weren't even kissing yet? Yeah. I do not understand...

^ This was my little online rant. You can ignore it if you'd like. It is what I am going to post below, that I would like advice on.
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Oooookay. Before I start, I am going to ask that you please not rage at me about how "what we're doing is animal abuse" and all of that. I know it isn't right, but I do not see it as flat out abuse. All of these cats are very well fed, have plenty of room to run and play, and get SO much attention. They are all very happy. It is me who isn't.

My fiance and I accidentally have a hoard of cats. It started a few years ago before I even lived with them when her dad brought home four kittens as a surprise. The real surprise? They were all female, but since we were already attached to them we figured we would be okay with it. So wrong. Especially after an adult female stray was dropped off and we couldn't turn her down.

That was five cats who each had a litter of kittens. We promised ourselves that we would only keep the few we really liked and re-home the rest. We weren't able to find them homes, didn't want to take them to the local shelter due to the high kill rate, and ended up loving them all too much, anyway.

That left us with eighteen cats. Nineteen, after another female with a broken leg showed up on out front porch. Couldn't turn her down either. And now, since those five litters of kittens (which were mostly girls, by the way) have had time to grow up...now they're having babies. We have EIGHT litters of kittens. Eight. You know what that means? We have about 51 cats now. It is so overwhelming to me. I don't want all of these cats. I don't want them to end up being put down at the shelter. No one around here wants them.

(WARNING: It gets a bit gross from here) This situation has evolved into being a hazard to both my mental and my physical health. Mentally, because these cats like to come in and out of the house all day. We can't keep them out because my /lovely/ mother-in-law doesn't try to keep them out when goes out to smoke. I am easily irritated and I get frustrated beyond believe over constantly having to get cats off the stoves/counters/etc. Constantly trailing behind everyone making sure they didn't leave any food out, because the cats will get it. This is literally my everyday life. I can never enjoy myself without having to wonder what kind of trouble they are getting into. Especially when my fiance sleeps 4-6 hours more a day than I do, so she isn't up to handle them.

Now..about it being a hazard to my physical health. Even though they all know how to, not all of the cats want to use to litter box. I try to keep up with it but with nineteen cats...I will go ahead and say that I gag with the smell of the house sometimes. I can shower and drown myself in body spray and my parents can still smell the cat on me. My friends can't even come in because it smells so bad.

;u; It doesn't matter what I do. I can get down on my hands and knees and scrub the landing of our stairs for hours. It will be clean for maybe ONE day before the cats are already using it as their box. Not only this, but..okay this is incredibly gross. There are a handful of cats that won't stop urinating on the stove and counters. When I wipe them down, they are black with general grime from the cats walking on them so much. NONE of my clothes aren't covered in thick cat hair.

I..just feel so helpless in this situation. We all love these cats so much, and it would kill my fiance to get rid of them, but I feel like they literally have be on the verge of some sort of break down. It is getting to the point where I want to hurt them each time they get on the counters. What would we even do with them? No one wants adult cats. They should know better by now. I just don't understand. I just don't know what to do. ;u; Any advice?

[.musical.dragon.]

I just feel like everyone hates me and is against me. I keep getting reported on here, I didn't think that I was doing anything wrong!!! I feel... terrible, and I don't know what to do! I can't pet a animal or do anything fun, because my life sucks. Everything is wrong with me. I just... URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Yells at the world while crying* I'm so ticked off and angry and sad and depressed all at the same time, I feel like I am going to explode and start cussing, which, I must add, have never done a day in my life. (Unless I didn't know it was a cuss word...)

In need of dire help,
music

[honee bee]

I just feel like everyone hates me and is against me. I keep getting reported on here, I didn't think that I was doing anything wrong!!! I feel... terrible, and I don't know what to do! I can't pet a animal or do anything fun, because my life sucks. Everything is wrong with me. I just... URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Yells at the world while crying* I'm so ticked off and angry and sad and depressed all at the same time, I feel like I am going to explode and start cussing, which, I must add, have never done a day in my life. (Unless I didn't know it was a cuss word...)

In need of dire help,
music

Oh honey, if you ever want to talk, talk to me.

[Jetti]

Today is my birthday... I should feel happy but I'm not. ;c

If anyone could give me a hug... that would be nice. <3

[Lydianna]

Today is my birthday... I should feel happy but I'm not. ;c

If anyone could give me a hug... that would be nice. <3

/hugs tight.
happy birthday!

please smile and be happy. :3

[Jetti]

Today is my birthday... I should feel happy but I'm not. ;c

If anyone could give me a hug... that would be nice. <3

/hugs tight.
happy birthday!

please smile and be happy. :3

I'll try...

[oakdenugg]

I just feel empty.

[Ollie.]

If any of you need anyone to vent feelings to or need some advice; please PM me.
I'm willing to help out and try and find a solution to the problem.
As long as you PM me things that DON'T go against CS rules, it'll be fine.
{ No suicide or talking about where you live, your age, or real name }

[~Moonheart~]

Can I just have a hug? A cookie? Thank you in advance, huggers. I don't really like pms, but just a small hug would be very much apprectiated.