Every day of my life, I listen to people who tell me their lives are pointless, worthless, who wake up in the mornings and for whatever reason seem to look in the mirror and see the other person in front of them and say, 'I hate what I see'.
I've been there. Too fat, skinny, my hair ugly and poofy and all over the place and why can't I just straighten it like the other girls, or not make it tangled or whatever it is that makes them look at me and wrinkle their noses. Why can't I wear bright colors? Why can't I laugh when its time? Why can't I be less robotic? Why can't I be normal, pay attention, smarter, dumber?
There is the girl who desperately tries to sweat and starve away every bit of her that sticks out of every bit of that mold she has created in her head. The other girls, as she walks up the stairs pant and laugh. "Oh, don't make fun of her." Their friends say. "She'll just go home and EAT more out of depression."
There is the boy who every day comes home to find his mother and father inattentive. He feigns for attention, starts becoming more and more 'out there' just wishing someone could laugh, answer. At school, he starts to joke and joke, getting up on the desk just for someone to LOOK AT HIM. Just once say that they're proud. Just be there, please. they call him an attention hog. They start to grow tired, he says something wrong. He says something mean. He gets angrier and angrier. Just anything to get someone to give him a second glance.
There is the girl who is growing a life inside of her she doesn't want. Around every corner of the school they whisper, the boys whistle and laugh callously, the girls hiss nasty snakelike words and call her disgusting things. Her parents, they can never forgive her. It seems everyone hates her. She is falling off a cliff.
Everyone seems out to get you. Everyone is an enemy. Everyone hates you for your every mistake. They say to you, why can't you do better. Why can't you be normal, look normal, act normal, speak normal, think normal. Why can't you be more, be less, smarter, dumber, greater, lesser.
You are both under a microscope and a telescope.
Your every action is in stark contrast, blinding it seems, to the world. And it all seems WRONG.
Whether you are the girl who tries to distance herself in the back of the classroom, or the boy who tries to dress as frightening as possible, or you who just try to be friendly and different only to be slapped away, or you're too smart, or too dumb, or everyone hates you for who you've kissed or not kissed, and maybe you said something that was wrong, or they hate you for how you pray, or to what god, or how maybe you decide to not pray, or you like something everyone calls dumb, or you see yourself as someone or something else...
Or maybe one day you tell yourself you feel like putting up a fight just isn't worth it.
You wish they'd stop.
The voices, the looks like knives of ice and fire coming from every angle.
You're done crying.
You wish you could curl up into some dark corner somewhere and be no more, be no more.
But I tell you something.
You have wings.
You don't have to fall, don't you realize it?
No matter who or what you are, you're different. And because you're different, because of your beautiful and glorious wings, they hate you. And they just want to see you fall because they can't find their own. They all see yours though. Like a glimmering and beautiful luna moth in the dead of night. Like a beacon that blinds their eyes. And they hate it. Spread your wings further, catch the air and fly away. Be as glorious as you can. Be different. Don't let them tear out your feathers one by one with their words like acid claws.
Someone will always be saying NO. NO. NO.
Someone somewhere will always be angry and crouching broken in the dark, only wanting to stop you.
But don't listen.
Don't give them a second glance.
Don't fall, when your wings, glorious, can spread out far.
I've been there. Too fat, skinny, my hair ugly and poofy and all over the place and why can't I just straighten it like the other girls, or not make it tangled or whatever it is that makes them look at me and wrinkle their noses. Why can't I wear bright colors? Why can't I laugh when its time? Why can't I be less robotic? Why can't I be normal, pay attention, smarter, dumber?
There is the girl who desperately tries to sweat and starve away every bit of her that sticks out of every bit of that mold she has created in her head. The other girls, as she walks up the stairs pant and laugh. "Oh, don't make fun of her." Their friends say. "She'll just go home and EAT more out of depression."
There is the boy who every day comes home to find his mother and father inattentive. He feigns for attention, starts becoming more and more 'out there' just wishing someone could laugh, answer. At school, he starts to joke and joke, getting up on the desk just for someone to LOOK AT HIM. Just once say that they're proud. Just be there, please. they call him an attention hog. They start to grow tired, he says something wrong. He says something mean. He gets angrier and angrier. Just anything to get someone to give him a second glance.
There is the girl who is growing a life inside of her she doesn't want. Around every corner of the school they whisper, the boys whistle and laugh callously, the girls hiss nasty snakelike words and call her disgusting things. Her parents, they can never forgive her. It seems everyone hates her. She is falling off a cliff.
Everyone seems out to get you. Everyone is an enemy. Everyone hates you for your every mistake. They say to you, why can't you do better. Why can't you be normal, look normal, act normal, speak normal, think normal. Why can't you be more, be less, smarter, dumber, greater, lesser.
You are both under a microscope and a telescope.
Your every action is in stark contrast, blinding it seems, to the world. And it all seems WRONG.
Whether you are the girl who tries to distance herself in the back of the classroom, or the boy who tries to dress as frightening as possible, or you who just try to be friendly and different only to be slapped away, or you're too smart, or too dumb, or everyone hates you for who you've kissed or not kissed, and maybe you said something that was wrong, or they hate you for how you pray, or to what god, or how maybe you decide to not pray, or you like something everyone calls dumb, or you see yourself as someone or something else...
Or maybe one day you tell yourself you feel like putting up a fight just isn't worth it.
You wish they'd stop.
The voices, the looks like knives of ice and fire coming from every angle.
You're done crying.
You wish you could curl up into some dark corner somewhere and be no more, be no more.
But I tell you something.
You have wings.
You don't have to fall, don't you realize it?
No matter who or what you are, you're different. And because you're different, because of your beautiful and glorious wings, they hate you. And they just want to see you fall because they can't find their own. They all see yours though. Like a glimmering and beautiful luna moth in the dead of night. Like a beacon that blinds their eyes. And they hate it. Spread your wings further, catch the air and fly away. Be as glorious as you can. Be different. Don't let them tear out your feathers one by one with their words like acid claws.
Someone will always be saying NO. NO. NO.
Someone somewhere will always be angry and crouching broken in the dark, only wanting to stop you.
But don't listen.
Don't give them a second glance.
Don't fall, when your wings, glorious, can spread out far.
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