The Trader (Short story Comment?)

[Sero]

A/N Please read and review, I'm posting this in an attempt to improve my writing, I'm just going on in dabbles, and the stories are usually short. I number the short stories, and some are old dump ideas. I'd really just like to know how I'm doing.Thanks!

The Trader

Ugh, was is this insistent ringing, it's echoing through my head. I've been walking for a while now, where am I? It's dark, the lights are so pretty, I'm feeling slightly woozy. My hands, I can't feel them, is it really this cold? I feel like I'm just waking up from something, though I was already walking. Everything is a haze, and the air smells so sweet and nice. The windows by me are reflecting light, and my form. My hair is so dark though, it's blending in with the night, but my eyes....what an eerie shade, like burning hazel.

No. Though I try grasping through my daze, I can't find anything. I feel like I'm running my freezing hands palm deep through warm milk, hoping to catch some stray thoughts. I stop suddenly, pulling on my jacket, from the lights illumination, it's a drab olive green. The color is very familiar, and my vision lingers on the bright patches. It feels loose on my frame, too big, like a mans jacket. A chord of remorse strikes me, but there is no point in going back where I came.

It's been a few minutes, or not, maybe a few seconds. I've realized that this town is empty, and cold. I should know this place, but I don't. I have a feeling this is my first time here. Maybe the people are hiding, a lantern hangs on a wide door frame, it swings like a metronome but there's no wind. This place is haunted by something, it must be. Why does it feel like I'm the haunt? Cold finally penetrates further in, I'm feeling numb again. How long have I been walking? Was I always walking?

Slowly, I swing up my hands, tucking them under my arms. This is when I notice that my hands are burning with cold, a key. When did it get there? I examine the key, pushing my bangs from my face, even though it's short in the back. I don't remember if I like it cut short this way or not. The key winks at me with it's silvery hue. Ah, what does it know, that I don’t know?

I glance around, only slightly interested in finding a door to unlock. However I doubt that I'll find it anywhere. This key....doesn't open anything, I know. The door was burned behind me, it never will. I left some important things behind, I remember this. I shiver slightly, but it's not from the cold. The trembling roars over me, I'm shaking, my shoulders are starting to hurt. I pull the jacket around me. It's scent is sweet and familiar. What did I leave for? I left behind something important!

I turn back, my bright eyes only showing me partially into the building darkness, it seemed that when I walked far enough away the lanterns shut off like dying wishes.. The doldrums. I try to speak, but I always know that was mute. However, the lack of sound is painful. I remembered, I wished for silence, was I jealous? What was I feeling in that moment, when I summoned this world into being. I look back forward. My face feels hot, but cold. I see, the tears are warm, but the cold of the air here freezes the trails. I'm sobbing, silently of course, but I can hear myself. I wanted to hear myself. I wanted to speak, and say so many important things. Not every being could understand the gesture of a hand.

I swoon, the cold has gotten to me and I’m ready to sleep forever, the ground is ready to catch me in her arms. "Woah there!" Was that a voice? I feel a hand tightening around my wrist, pulling me up, and my eyes meet another pair. They’re common eyes, just green, they don't gleam coldly in the night like mine. He's larger than me, and from two words, he has a rhythm of speaking. Like a hawk, he sweeps from the sky to snatch prey. His hair falls just short of his face, his face is pretty, but a definite face of a boy. "What's your name?" He asks me, and I shake my head. I can't answer him.

He moves back, his common eyes scanning me. "Can't speak?" I nod slightly, hoping he understood. He glances over me again, before laughing into the deathly quiet town. "I see! That's a relief!" A relief? What a strange boy. "I thought you were hurt! Say, I'll introduce myself!" I'm taken aback by his overpowering charisma, it something I will probably never have. "I't's-" THere is silence and his voice stops, his lips are moving, but I can't hear the words that follow. Suddenly like speakers that needed a kick to start again his voice bobs back into my hearing range. "You can call me 'The Trader' and you can be the first person to say it!" He suddenly stops, maybe he caught his mistake, I can’t say his name! I’m mute!

"Is it drab?" He asks suddenly. What? Of all obscenities he’s asking me if his name strikes me as dull!? It suddenly occurs to me how nonsensical he is, does he not know the situation? I shake my head, confused. "No? That's good! When I leave here, many, many people will start calling me that name, I don’t want a boring name base.. This is your world right?" I'm clearly surprised, it shows on my face and he looks pleased that he was right. "It's been getting colder and colder. You lost control a while ago, didn’t you? That’s not good for you. However the stars are really pretty, you did an excellent job of creating this world. Your name, it's Rica right?" I flinched back. He was right again.

"If you give me your world, I'll give you something you want." He is such a confusing being! "You don't understand?" I nod, feeling exasperated, and he points to my jacket. "That belongs to someone special right?" he asks the question in wonder, I'm not sure why he is so mesmerized by my personal belonging. "If I can have one patch, and this world, I'll give you a voice Rica." I'm crying again, and he softly cups my cheek. I realize that compared to the rest of my world, he is the sole warm being inside it. "You'll be my first trade, I promise I can help, plus you have a lot to say right?" I nod again, he has an angelic smile. I believe he can do it. "Then let's trade, I want to see many, many more beautiful worlds, and I love the stars of yours the most, you deserve to shine brightly too."

His image is beginning to become hazy, like when I woke up here except I’m leaving behind everything I created. "Rica, use your words well." It's warmer where I am now, I can hear someones worried voice. I open my lips, hesitantly as the warm cream ceiling above me starts to come into view. My lips move, at first theres no sound, did he lie to me? Was that all a strange dream? "RICA!" I jumped up, cracking my forehead against someone else's. It hurts, but the pain tells me I’m back where I belong. "Rica, Rica, geez you worried me you dunce! Don’t just go unconscious when you please!" I smiled slightly, the familiar military uniform clad boy in front of me is welcome and familiar. He smells like the jacket I'm wearing.

I shake my head trying to show that I was fine, but then he gives me a peculiar look. "Rica, did you lose one of my patches?" I blink and glance down. He's right, so...that dream? I move my lips again, and he looks at me astonished. "Say that again, you tried to speak! I thought I heard...." I pause, my eyes widening just like my friends blue ones. "....What was his name?" I ask aloud. I am stunned, and clearly so is my companion. His mouth is open with shock, maybe he has gone mute in my place. His mouth moves incomprehensibly before small sounds escape. “RICA!”

"Rica, you spoke! Mum! Rica spoke!" I pause and look up, she is at the door, his mother, she has pretty blue eyes like her son. She's crying, I would cry too, but I'm shocked. "I...spoke...." All at once his mother is smothering me, thanking as many Gods as there can be in the night sky. . Even my soldier boy turns, to cry at this supposedly God-given gift. I start thinking quietly to myself about the common brown hair green eyed boy from my dream. What was his name, that boy who called himself 'The Trader'? I feel cold metal in my hand, I look down. The key, and attached is a note. He has unruly handwriting, if it’s his, but it’s neat enough to read. A strange feeling settles inside me, like bubbling warmth. 'Thank you for letting me see your world!'