яє∂'ѕ ѕтσяу. |Posting open!|

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How is my story?

Poll ended at Sat Mar 09, 2013 10:11 pm

Terrible.
1
9%
Cute!
0
No votes
Cool.
2
18%
Awesome!
4
36%
Scary...
0
No votes
Mystic.
1
9%
Boring.
0
No votes
I love it so much!
3
27%
 
Total votes : 11

Re: яє∂'ѕ ѕтσяу. |Posting open!|

Postby Thunder. » Wed Mar 06, 2013 7:55 pm

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Emeraldgaze looked on sympathetically at Red. Her breathing was coming in fast gasps, and her forehead was hot. "I need something for her," the Guardian murmured quietly. "But I've nothing to give," he realized. If only he had any potions to help. He padded outside the hut, and touched a large flag nearby. It had the moon woven onto it. It seemed to glow with a mysterious light. He then lifted part of the flag. Under it was a small black pouch. It was old and a bit dusty, but he tried his luck and opened it anyway. Inside was a bottle. A potion for health.

He then searched further in the pouch. There was a small book that had strange symbols etched into its pages. He had no idea what they meant, so he closed it and jammed it into the pouch again, then put it under the flag's soft fabric. He then opened the small bottle. It smelt like flowers. The liquid was transparent and had small sparkles swirling inside. Emeraldgaze put one long claw inside and pulled it out before smearing the liquid on his fur. He knew it would not harm him, but he washed his paws in a puddle anyway. He closed the bottle again and recovered the pouch. He put the bottle in and closed it.

Just in time. He heard a noise and a rustle in the trees. He stood uneasily and wished he had his sword. It was in the hut. Then a figure stepped into the clearing. In the faint moonlight Emeraldgaze could see the newcomer's mantle and coat. But then a second wolf followed. She had beautiful, brilliant sapphire eyes that shone warily. On her head was a knight's helmet. She wore armor, though Emeraldgaze could see her white fur. They looked at Emeraldgaze warily.

"Who are you?" demanded the silver wolf roughly.


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Re: яє∂'ѕ ѕтσяу. |Posting open!|

Postby Thunder. » Wed Mar 06, 2013 9:05 pm

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"Why would I tell you something like that lightly?" retorted Emeraldgaze, though he did feel unsafe. The gray wolf had a dagger at his paws, and an unsheathed sword lay at the white wolf's feet. In the starshine it was visibly sharp. But Emeraldgaze was a Guardian, a wolf who could easily overpower the two rouges. He stared dangerously at them.

"Very well. Give us your word that you are not a threat," said the silver wolf, the snowy one poised to strike beside him. "I am not a threat to those who do not kill unreasonably," replied the Guardian instantly. Then the white wolf lowered her sword. "We are not like that." The other wolf dropped his dagger, obviously willing to talk instead of fight. "All right. Why are you here and what is your business?" he asked, but his tone was not demanding like before. "I am a traveler, with my companion," was all Emeraldgaze said. "My name is Emeraldgaze, and my companion is Red. Promise me not to hurt her."

"As you wish, Guardian. I am Silver, and this is Crystal. We are traveling to Kiltar to meet the other Guardians." answered the gray-furred rouge. Emeraldgaze nodded. "All right. I am also making my way back there. Suppose we travel together?" he suggested. "Why trust you?" asked Crystal. "I am a Guardian. We seldom lie. It is you I should ask. Can I trust you?"

"Yes."

"Then I shall wait for Red's agreement. We seem to have some things in common, so make yourselves somewhere to sleep for the night. I will tell you what Red says tomorrow if necessary." And that was a dismissal.
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Re: яє∂'ѕ ѕтσяу. |Posting open!|

Postby cookies. » Thu Mar 07, 2013 1:45 am

Oh my gosh. This is very awesome! <3 It. Write moremoremore! -writemoreuntilyourfingersdie-
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Re: яє∂'ѕ ѕтσяу. |Posting open!|

Postby Thunder. » Thu Mar 07, 2013 1:58 am

    omg Thank you so much! <3
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Re: яє∂'ѕ ѕтσяу. |Posting open!|

Postby Thunder. » Thu Mar 07, 2013 2:18 am

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Emeraldgaze left the two wolves outside when he walked into the hut. The rug beneath his paws was slightly damp and cold. Red was still sleeping, her sides heaving up and down with effort. Emeraldgaze was reminded yet again how much weaker she was. After all, he was a Guardian wolf, with strong muscles and was accustomed to running great distances without rest or food. He wearily walked back to the pouch. Its fabric wrinkled as he reached in to take out the bottle. He also checked the book. There were letters and words that he could read, he realized with a jolt. The book's title was written in unusual golden symbols that he could not decipher. But he read the words anyway.

The Moonglow Potion is a potion to heal. It is very strong and a single drop can heal a serious wound in minutes, though it takes a great toll if used too often, or if too many were used at once. This was proved by Rivelark, Silkiar's son, who nearly died out of the potion. He healed slowly, in pain and suffering. Ever since then the potion was better known as poison, until a Guardian took its power and dissolved it into a more useful medicine, with less side effects.

There are little Moonglow Potions left unaltered. They are considered precious as pearls, and some wolves wore them like gems, because of the special spell that changed them. The spell was uttered,

Atlia turra reati lia Moonglowsia ritra. Change and reverse the Moonglow's power. The Moonglow freezes, and becomes easy to shape for a short white before solidifying completely. Only unaltered Moonglow Potions can be changed, because it is made out of pure Starstone, unlike the commoner type, which was mixed with water and a spell was spoken above them. This spell was common and easy to speak because it is short, Moonglow ara libr, altia! Moonglow of magic, change!


Emeraldgaze closed the book and carefully used his claw to take a drop of silver Moonglow liquid. He murmured, "This will work. Red will heal," and laid the drop on Red's forehead. Almost instantly it glowed ice blue and then dissolved. It left a single spark on the wolf's fur. Then Red began to stop breathing so heavily. Her muscles loosened after being tense for hours. She stirred. "Emeraldgaze?"

"You're needed. There are two wolves, wolves like you, who are hoping for hospitality. Or, should I say, they want to join us. Come," he whispered, not knowing why exactly. "Okay, then. Wait for me," Red said, quickly putting on her scarf and gloves.


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Re: яє∂'ѕ ѕтσяу. |Posting open!|

Postby Thunder. » Fri Mar 08, 2013 12:18 am

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Red hurriedly followed Emeraldgaze outside. She felt much better than before, though she didn't know why. She had gone to sleep thinking she would wake up with hot fur and a dizzy head. But she shook the thoughts away as she pushed the hut door aside and saw two wolves beside a lit fire. It swirled around them, setting their eyes on flame, turning them orange, and as Red walked aside their eyes turned normal. She shivered despite the warmth. Why were these two wolves coming to join them? Couldn't she just go alone, with no one but her Guardian?

The first wolf, a gray-furred canine with green eyes and a thief-like cloak, stood up and said, "So this is your companion, eh?" His voice was rough, like Emeraldgaze's, but behind it was curiosity. "Yes." Red replied. The wolf said, "I'm Silver, and this is Crystal." The white wolf lifted her head and murmured a wordless greeting. Then silence. It was obvious that everyone way fumbling for something to say. "So. Why have you come to join us? Why are you on your way to Kiltar?" queried Red, in an attempt to break the ice. But Crystal lowered her head, so Red turned to Silver, hoping to find her answer. The wolf hesitated, then said, "I can't tell you that. Not now, anyway."

"Oh, is that so? All right. But you still have to prove that you're not lying." Emeraldgaze blinked once as Red spoke, though he did not speak; he only shifted his paws uncomfortably. "Why would we lie?" questioned Crystal. Her voice was smooth and soft, though there was a hint of a challenge in it. "You could be serving the Draukliu," Emeraldgaze pointed out, a bit dryly in Red's opinion. "The members of Draukliu bear a symbol of darkness, for your information," growled Silver, "Soulvador, for instance, has red eyes. Every wolf had either that, or long fangs, unusually sharp teeth, or special abilities. We do not have anything of that kind. All we can do is cast spells. And we do that rarely too. We are going to Kiltar, I tell you."

"All right. We will travel with you. Tomorrow we must go; Kiltar is far away to the north. This snow won't help us, perhaps the morning sun with melt it." Emeraldgaze said, his eyes unreadable.

"And before that, let us stay here tonight," Red declared.
Last edited by Thunder. on Fri Mar 08, 2013 11:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: яє∂'ѕ ѕтσяу. |Posting open!|

Postby cookies. » Fri Mar 08, 2013 12:51 am

O_O I just need so much more...
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Re: яє∂'ѕ ѕтσяу. |Posting open!|

Postby viviette » Fri Mar 08, 2013 2:39 pm

This is a really good story! I'm bookmarking it. Your grammar is very good, and it was written very well over all. I can't wait to see what will happen to Red!
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Re: яє∂'ѕ ѕтσяу. |Posting open!|

Postby Thunder. » Fri Mar 08, 2013 10:02 pm

    ShaShaJean wrote:O_O I just need so much more...

    You will get more, except my mouse is playing up so you may have to wait .-.
    musicalnote2 wrote:This is a really good story! I'm bookmarking it. Your grammar is very good, and it was written very well over all. I can't wait to see what will happen to Red!

    Whoa, really? I never expected that one! Thank you! I always thought my grammar isn't my best...
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Re: яє∂'ѕ ѕтσяу. |Posting open!|

Postby Thunder. » Sat Mar 09, 2013 1:26 am

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Red walked alone into the hut. She had told Emeraldgaze that she was going to look inside the book he found in the hut. She realized that the small camp had been Emeraldgaze's for a long while. On one side of the room was a bow. Red could also see a quiver a few feet away. There were a few arrows in it, some long, some short. She examined one for a while, staring at the sharp point. In those minutes the sun began to rise, and rays of light began to shimmer through the gaps in the hut. The arrow tip shone with a silvery, metallic tint. Red began to wonder when she would be taught how to hunt. Or how to use magic. Either way, she shoved the arrow back into the quiver and turned to the book. She touched one smooth page. There was a paragraph, written with more grace than the text above and below it. It read:

Magic is a strange power. It is used only rarely, and for certain purposes. There are few words that can create magic, such as atlia, meaning change. Other words, such as ritra, power, must be uttered along with a sentence. If a sorcerer were to change water into a gem, all he would need to say is atlia, but if the sorcerer were to summon control over water, they would have to say, Water ritra. If the sorcerer said nothing more than ritra, then it might not be the water's power that is summoned, but another element, such as air. There are other words that are used to make spells, such as reati, that reverses an element's power, such as creating fire cold as ice, or creating ice hotter than burning metal. It has many uses, such as turning an enemy's strength into a weakness, in an Elementera's case. Sometimes sorcerers prefer full sentences in the magic spells they use, though it is rarely true. All types of magic can be controlled by those with an unbreakable will.

An unbreakable will, thought Red, Is that something I have? Pondering what she had learned from the book, she shifted her tail to a more comfortable position. Shivering, she took out a book from one of the bags. She didn't know why, or how she knew it was there, but the book was empty, so she looked around for a pen. She soon found one, a crow feather quill. Then, her paws still trembling, she wrote slowly on the uneven floor,

Ritra, power.
Atlia, change.
Reati, reverse.
Ara, of.
Lia, the.

Moonglow, a potion to heal.


She then slid the book back into the pack, which Emeraldgaze had indicated as hers. She knew that what she had wrote would help her with magic. It would help for sure. Something's happening for me. A tide of change, though for better or worse, I don't know.
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