May I offer a kind critique? Instead of using phrases like 'appeared to', 'seemed to', 'as if [doing something]' just say everything outright. For example, instead of saying, "Thorry appeared to be scanning the contents page as to try and find something interesting," just say, "Thorry scanned the contents page trying to find something interesting."
You don't use it too often, but I thought I would point this out just in case it helps you in the future. I've noticed that I myself do this a lot too, and I have to constantly pay attention to it which is why I offer this friendly advice.
In any case, good chapter!
