The weather was really nice today- and i was so glad. Usually, the days are always so cold. Where ever i go, it seems the rain follows me. But i don't mind much, i prefer the cold over the warm. The winter over the summer. Dark to light. Night to day. I'm not emo, or goth, or whatever. It's just that the feeling of warmth- feels more like i'm being smothered then cradled.
I'd spent about four hours packing. Just packing. Clothes, feminine "supplies", brushes, hair clips, shampoos, and shoes. Even a few books. It was so hard though- i think i spent the majority of the time, just trying to choose what i wanted to wear. I'm no 'fashion diva'. I've never quite grasped the ways of properly choosing what to wear. I'm the girl who wears sweats, a hoodie, and trainers. Or faded jeans, and a ponytail. Oh, and before you ask- no, i can not do anything with my hair. It's not that i can't- it's that i just mentally am incapable of doing anything to my hair. I can braid- but that's about it. My wild mane of dark curls in nearly uncontrollable, and i've never been able to figure out how to french braid. Every time i try, i get my hair into knots. I barely learned how to put my hair into a bun. I guess i focused on other things as i grew up, besides the appearance of my hair. I was the girl who spent the hours of her childhood playing video games on her ancient Super Nintendo, her Gamecube, and her Gameboy Advance. The girl who spent hours on the windy beaches of the West Coast, and found comfort from the mossy scenery of the moist forests. I went clam digging, fished in the rivers for rainbow trout and stergin. I pounced in the rivers with no hesitation, grasping crawdad- no flinch as they grappled their claws onto my skin. I grew grand gardens with my Mom, picking bowls full of cherry tomatoes and long beans and squash. I picked wild blackberries, staining my lips with violet blood; and i spent hours swimming in the green rivers- pretending i was an otter or a pokemon. I fell asleep outside, watching the stars and counting all of the ones that could fly. When i was little- we were so poor, that i didn't care what i wore. I didn't even notice. Hell, i wore freaking overalls half of the time. Worn sneakers and old t-shirts with ChefBoyardee stains. My Mom and i would go outside, and i would plant the tiger lily's with her- handing her the bulbs and watching as she gently patted them into the earth. And when my parents divorced, i found comfort in exploring the acres of mossy forests where my grand parents lived.
And I remember all of this, as I finally rest my decison on pale blue short-shorts. A grey sweater, and a tank top. I pull my hair back into a side-ponytail, because I know that it will only become incredibly frizzy if i don't. Curling the ends and pulling out a few strands to frame my face a bit. While I stand in the bath room, I look back at my reflection. These aren't the eyes of a young cheerleader, or a soccer captain. A homecominga queen, or a Valivictorian. Though i was once voted homecoming princess in my freshman year. I'm not popular, in fact- I tend to keep refuge under a hoodie and long unrevealing jeans.
I know that even if I find myself unable to talk in proper conversation with anyone, Olivia will be there. My best friend. She and I telepathically signed up around the same time, and somehow we both got accepted to go. But It's a complete relief, and it makes me ecstatic.
I set to work on what ever sediment of make up I'll bother putting on. Just like with the clothes, with my hair- I can barely put on make up without making myself look like a freaking circus clown. And I keep this in mind, not to over-do it- as I slide on the smidgen of water-proof eye liner under my bottom lashes. A swipe of water-proof mascara, and a few dots of cover-up, where my acne refuses to cooperate. With a sigh, I take in the full picture. Semi-pleased with what I see before me, but there's something missing... I slide on my black-framed glasses then. That's better. "Hey, troll." I look away, at the open door-frame. And a smile plays along my face, it's my Mom's fiancee'. Jim. His 4 o'clock shadow, and thin, grey hair. With fleck sof black and white, and a callick. He's much taller then me, stocky and thick like a bear. "Whattya' want, Chief Pop-a-squat?" We nicknamed him this, because he has a habit of informing us of his bowel movements. He's rolling his eyes, a dark grin on his face as he replies, "You're mom's waitin' for ya' outside."
"Okay. I'll be right there erm- could you help me carry some of my stuff?"
"What do you need help with carrying? You'll be gone for three days!"
"Hey, in case you forgot- i'm a girl, not a troll." He's rolling his eyes again, before a groan escapes him. And he's trudging down the hallway like a little kid. But helping me anyways, as i direct what bags i'll need help with.
"Jeez, what are you bringing, a textbook?"
"Well, what if i need it?" I'm the kind of girl, who over packs when I feel the need to impress. And I thought that two encyclopedias of the human body, and a math textbook might be interesting to read while we're on the flight? If we were going to a hotel, for nothing but a family reunion- then I would have brought a tiny duffel bag and a good book. But... I felt like I needed to be prepared for anything, if I was going to meet them. Jim is back to his grunts and groans as he throws my bags into the backseat of my Mom's car. And I give him a light hug, since it's still kind of awkward between us. We're not related, and it's kind of hard to accept that my Mom isn't married to my biological father anymore. Even though it's almost been nine years...
"You ready hon' ?" She says this. She's an original brunette, like me. But she's bleached and highlighted her hair so much, that you wouldn't believe it- not unless you looked where the bleach wasn't able to get- near her roots. She has crow feet, near the corners of her eyes. And wrinkles and bags under her eyes too. She's not in great shape- but she works so much, that she can never find time to take care of herself. I'm nodding, and Jim is waving goodbye at us. My Mom makes him promise that he won't shoot the neighborhood children while she's away, and reluctantly he juts out his lower lip and nods with a frown. Gosh, he's so immature. He's almost 37 years old, yet he day dreams about that stuff. Killing people who annoy him- guess i can't blame him? I'm looking out the window now. Admiring, one last time- and remembering each square-inch of earth. I always knew, that i wasn't meant for this small town. I won't let it be meant for me. I'll be someone- someone worth remembering. Someone not like my father. I'll be someone. And the green forests, the wild rivers, the klaediscope of grey sunshine and silver rain- rushes past me. But i'll remember it. I'll always remember it...
___ 8 Hours Later___
"Wow...Real leather." I'm poking the chairs in the private jet, and finding deep intrigue in them. Don't get me wrong, I've been in an airplane before. Just not with um- them. And at the thought of them, I hesitate before looking at each one of them. First, at the tops of their heads. Their eyes- which I only glance at because i'm afraid of giving them the death stare. Their noses, and their lips. Their chests. And then, the entire picture. I have to catch myself from just sitting there and staring at them- but the problem is, I have no idea what to say. How do I casually lean over and ask them about their day? Because I know that I'll make a complete fool out of myeslf if I even try. I'll probably end up falling out of my chair. I've already hit my head on the window of the passenger plane, just looking away. And I have a premonition, that if i even attempt to stand- that I'll end up falling face first into one of them. So I just keep silent, continuing my train of deep thought over what i'll say. Believe me, I've already googled the questions or topics of chat I could possible pass over. I've Yahoo'ed and Bing'd it too. Because i'm just that much of a dork. But ya' know that moment, when someone asks you your favorite movie- and you suddenly forget every movie you've ever seen? Well, that's what's happening to me. I'm so caught up in trying to think of what to say- that I can't even think straight. I notice, that a few girls are completely calm. Spontaneously sparking up conversation- and i'm mentally gaping at them.
How can they manage to do that? When I can barely think of a freaking letter to start off my sentence. A letter! But they're all so pretty- no wonder they're so confident. Who cares, when you're that drop-dead gorgeous? Olivia hasn't said much, I'm guessing she's just as shy as me right now. I'm biting my lip, and I finally remember one of the suggestions on Yahoo Answers. "I..."
But I don't finish my sentence. Instead, the pilot cuts me off as the plane trembles gently. "We're experiencing strong turbulence, please find your seats and put your safety belts back on." I blinked a few times. Just some turbulence. There was nothing wrong with that. My Mom's fiancee' is an electrician, but he also has his pilot's license. And he's taught me a few things about flying. Turbulence, is nothing to worry about- as long as your pilot know what he's doing. The plane is kind of silent for a few minutes, and then the silence dies as the pilot reassures us that everything is back on track. And that, we're nearly to the Islands. A few people look over at me, the ones who'd noticed that I had been about to speak. Or at least- I think they heard me. But before I could even contemplate finishing what I was about to say, the plane shuddered.
And I caught my breath as i clutched the arm chairs of the plane. It bursts forward, and then back. And this insane beeping sounds screams in the room. The pilot starts trying to contact other pilots, other planes. Yelling into the speakers, "Engine down! Engine down! Engine is failing and we're clogged with volcanic ash! Can anyone hear me?! I repeat our engine has failed! I-I don't think I can land this! Oh Sh**! Our right wing is gone!! Some one! Some one answer me! Help us!!" His words become fuzzy, and all twelve of us- have our heads spinning to the right. As the right wing is torn off, like ripppped paper. Grey wires stick out from the fraction, and the sky billows with black smoke and red fire. I only get to see a glance of the wing torpedoeing down into the deep blue ocean. before it dissapears completely from view. Someone screams, and the we're spiraling down, following the right wing and descending into the waters. I'm squeezing the arm rest with white knuckles, and clenching my jaw. Holding onto my seat for dear life, because i know i'm gonna die. And not only that, but i'm so terrified. I can feel my lungs and every organ in my body- coming out of my mouth. I feel like throwing up, and i can't even hear myself breathe- I can't hear my heart beating. Everyone is screaming, or just trying to get through this without saying anything. I don't understand, how you could find the time or the collectiveness to scream at a time like this? I'm staying zipped. This is worse then a roller coaster ride- I hate roller coasters. And this is a thousand times worse then anything i've ever been on. All I can smell- all I can taste, is the sea salt, the sweat, the smoke, and the vomit.
I open my eyes once more, wishing I was back at home. Wanting the comfort of the green forest, the cold rivers, and the scent of Lilacs. The taste of steelhead and wild blackberries. Wanting the fun of catching crawdad in the rivers, and the feeling of my Mom's and Jim's arms wrapped around me in good bye this morning. Wishing I could go back- but i don't have a time machine to do so. And it makes me want to cry. But i don't cry anymore- not in front of other people. I look up, and i see the flight attendant. She's screaming bloody murder. She looks Chinese, maybe? Her hair is much darker then mine- well it's black. And her skin is pasty white. her lips are the color of a red dragon, and her eyes are black as steel. And i see Liam. He's the first one i saw i guess- i mean, he was sitting across from me. He seems equally frightened. A change from his usual, warm- and soft expression. And the second it takes for our gazes to lock on to each other, for our visions to collide- the sound of the cockpit being ripped off adverts my attention. The roar of fresh air rakes acrossed us. And the wind grazes my body. I see the blue ocean, and in the not-so-far off distance- is that an island i see? A flash of green leaves, beige palm-wood, and white sand. And then- i close my eyes for the last time. I can't breathe, because the wind is forcing itself down my throat. And everything suddenly blacks out...
___Three Days Later___
The sound of sparks of fire awaken me from my dreams- it was such a long dream. Most of it, was just darkness. But there were some parts, that were so happy. Some parts that consisted of fragments of my happy memories. Ane then there were some of the sad moments, and then there were some well- creative? Dreams... My vision is blurry, and my face wrinkles from the scent of smoke and gasoline. Ugh... I feel terrible. But why- why do I feel like this? Where am I? Why would Jim build a fire outside this early? How long have I been sleeping? Why does it smell like gasoline? There are so many questions running through my head. The ground is cold, leafy, wet. Why? I bring my left hand to my face and massage my drowsy countenance; my temples, my closed eyes, the bridge of my nose. But then- the memories start coming back to me. Everything is coming back to me. Packing , driving, flying, talking, crashing. Dreaming, burning... Burning?
The air is sticky and thick, and I push myself up, without hesitation. Forcing myself to sit on the wet rocks. Rocks? I reach into every last piece of determination in me, willing myself to stand. But a small yelp courses through me as I realize this pain.
I look down at my leg, and gasp at the sudden jolt in me. What little white flesh that still hangs from the gash is melting away. And i'm sobbing in pain, clenching my jaw and punching the ground- it hurts so much. Salty tears sting my eyes, and there's some sort of brown substance drying along the wet leaves. Gasoline- I think? And blood. Definitely blood. I'm gasping for air, as my mind comprehends the pain. It's nearly enough to make me pass out, but my body has adjusted to the humidity enough- enough to slowly crawl towards a tiny creek bed a few feet away.
There's a lot of smoke, and bits of ash in the air. And I realize that there are a few unconscious bodies laying around me
Sand and salty rain cover my glasses in sediment. And I'm clenching my jaw shut, a few more quite sobs escaping me as I reach for the blue. I'm releasing a long- shaky breath of relief. Letting it drag as i dare hold my breath. I'm not really sure if this is going to hurt or not. We're so far from the ocean, and I can't even hear it's licking of the bitter sand. The water might have been filtered enough, to make it more clear and edible.
The water is gentle and cool against my charred wounds. And I'm gasping, releasing short instances of anguish as i drop the remainder of the water onto the flesh. I'm cleaning my wounds now- my breaths much less shaky than before. My thoughts a little less rushed. I think I've found the strength to stand- but half my body still feels cold and numb. And I look around myself- for miles and miles... There's only darkness. Only a kaleidoscope of greenery and black. It all screeches that I can not run away. That there is no running away. Maybe, I can help the others. I noticed that there were at least two or three people who were still passed out... Hopefully it was passed out- instead of dead. But what about everyone else? What about Olivia? Oh God... Olivia. Is she still alive? Worry nips at the edges of my belly, and I feel like throwing up. I can't even imagine her decomposing body. Not Olivia...