The Test. Please Read, Posting welcome

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Re: The Test. Please Read, Posting welcome

Postby hazelnut » Sat Oct 20, 2012 10:27 pm

Index-
X Prologue
X Chapter One
X Chapter Two
X Chapter Three
X Chapter Four
X Chapter Five
X Chapter Six
X Chapter Seven

Image

Sandro

The thieves had entered calmly through my front door. Like most people I had no time to worry about security. The best I could do was basic wooden bolt lock on the inside, but this did little to keep out intruders when no one was home.
I didn’t really care though. The item that were stolen was stuff that looked the most valuable, but were really just red herrings. Bed clothes would have been the hardest thing to replace, that was if I had planned on staying, but I was only there to salvage a few possessions before heading to get the runaway packs.

My heart swelled with bittersweet memories as I gathered the necessities. It hurt to leave the place where my parents brought me up but I knew of all people, they would want me to go. I had little more to go on than rumour, but I figured the best chance I had was to head for my one of my fathers old friends.
After my parents failed to return, a lady had showed up. She was clearly from the city and she was kind enough to Sophie and I, but I couldn’t help clenching my fists at her snobby attitude. After introducing herself as Rosaline Poulter, she went on to further explain that her and her husband had been close to my parents.
“We owe your father a great debt,” Mrs Poulter continued, “And we’d be happy to help you two out of this unfortunate situation.” She said the words with distaste and, with the loss of my parents still fresh, I had felt extremely offended.
“We’re get by,” I retorted through clenched teeth, “We may be in a state, but we’re better off than most.”
Mrs Poulter had been a little taken back. “I guess that’s your decision.” She’d noted skeptically, “But if you ever need something, be sure to tell us. My husband has good contacts.” Mrs Poulter had then handed me a card and briskly left.

I scratched my fingers through the box where I stored what little paper I came into contact with. I was rewarded with the posh card I had been looking for. When I was handed it I had only decided to keep it as a reminder. I found it as snobby as it’s former owner, a slightly off white with patterned lilac borders and fancy calligraphy writing, and decided it would be perfect to revive the memory of Mrs Poulter’s ego.
A few years back though a rumour had surfaced that the man at the head of Poulter Industries was actually a key member in the resistance. Normally I would dismiss such chatter but that one had stuck when I recalled the conversation with Mrs Poulter. She had said her husband had good contacts, and I guessed she could have been hinting at his position in the resistance. There was no hard evidence, but it was better than nothing.

I only took the last remaining knife, an empty water jug and Sophie’s teddy bear. I gazed sadly at the small toy. Before Mum and Dad were taken it used to be mine, but I had felt the battered grubby bear would be more loved by my six year old sister rather than the breadwinning thirteen year old boy that I was.
I sighed with the knowledge that it was the only keepsake I could afford to take. I would have loved to take the photo album my mother had treasured, or the pack of coloured pencils my father had found for me. I wish I could have taken everything that had a happy memory tied to it, but I knew it was best to travel light.

Next, I headed for the runaway packs. The world was an uncertain place. War had broken out in China, Australia and parts of Russia. Brazil’s government was in ashes after the country was attacked by a fierce deadly disease. Gangs and vigilante groups ruled the streets of India, and Spain was now one of the most dangerous places to live.
The point is that I had always been aware that a disaster might strike at any moment, and I had to be ready to move. So I had created the runaway packs. There were two runaway packs that each held a spare change of clothes, a filled water bottle, and hunting supplies. Between the both of them though they had one amazing luxury, a sleeping bag. I felt like the luckiest person on earth when I found it for sale. Usually the things cost hundreds so no one bothers coming to the poorer areas to sell them, but I got it for a rabbit from a man who said it had belonged to someone who no longer had a need for it.

After I retrieved the bags from their hiding place amongst the roots of a tree, I started my journey. The sun baked the road, so I stuck to cool shadows of the trees.
The walk would take at least a day, lucky for me the man lived in the closest rich town, but I wasn’t worried. I was determined.
Last edited by hazelnut on Mon Oct 22, 2012 11:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Test. Please Read, Posting welcome

Postby hazelnut » Mon Oct 22, 2012 11:46 am

Index-
X Prologue
X Chapter One
X Chapter Two
X Chapter Three
X Chapter Four
X Chapter Five
X Chapter Six
X Chapter Seven

Image

Maria

I tensed as the clock enters its final seconds. As I sat there I got the idea that that place was purposely made unsound proof. Screams of others echo through the wall, bouncing around in a dire attempt at finding freedom. As I hide in my memories I sometimes find inspiration to launch my own desperate voice into the air, but for the most of the time I sit in silence resigned to my fate.

Outside I heard voices but not the tortured howling ones. Sensing a spot of entertainment, I crawled forward towards where I believed the door must have been.
“I didn’t authorize this. I’ll have you up before the committee!” No, I thought, it couldn’t be...
“I don’t know,” Replied a gruff voice that I recognized as belonging to the man who had fetched me from my cage, “Mistakes happen all the time. Plus, I feel a twinge of doubt the committee would choose your side over mine.”
“This is clear rebellion!” My father hollered, “All decisions must be approved by me, it is a strict rule-”
“I think you’ll find Jonathan that a lot of things today were accidentally not run by you,” The man said more calmly, making his voice more muffled to my ears, “And I have a feeling that the committee will find it very interesting that you took a great more interest in your daughter’s case than any of the others.”
There was a pause, in which I imagined my father to be in a shocked silence.
“You... You set me up.” My father said, so quietly I struggled to pick the words up, “How could you Sanders? How long have we known each other? I would never do this to you.”
Sanders laughed, “I don’t even have any kids!” He scoffed, “You know it had to happen Jonathan, she failed the test. Just because you run this place doesn’t mean you’re above the law.”
“There are other options,” My father murmured, “She-”

I didn’t hear the rest. Out of the corner of my eye I see the clock hit zero. The room goes dark, then the pain starts again. I scream until my throat is raw. I spasm so much I lose track of how I’m positioned. My eyes squeezed shut and dug my fingernails into my palms until they bled involuntarily. I reluctantly allowed my mind to take me away, worried that if I delved too deep I might go insane. My mind left my body, left all the torment and misery, and went into a comatose like state. I couldn’t think about anything, if I focused at all the pain would come flooding back.

So I barely noticed when the door swung open, or when strong dry hands pulled me from the room. I was only knocked back to reality after the person's arms were knocked away from me, and I hit my head hard on the tiled floor. Once I might have winced or even cried at the pain it created, but the blow had meant nothing anymore.
Shakily I sat up to survey my surroundings. One guard had got a second pinned to the ground. The one pinned has a busted nose, and the other had an already swelling right eye. They both looked at two men who were in a more diplomatic argument. Sanders scowled at my father as he produced a piece of paper and handed to him smugly. I didn’t know what it was but it seemed to win the disagreement.

“Honey,” My father soothed, “It’s alright. Daddy’s taken care of things.” He moved forward with the same smile he used when I was young after I had had a nightmare. I flinched, his gesture seeming nothing short of ghoulish.
“You are not my father!” I spat, using as much strength as I could muster, “You’re a monster! A villain! An evil wretched lowlife! A f-”
“Sweetie, you’re just cranky. That’s understandable after what you’ve been through,” The man who was formerly my father replied, a touch of hurt in his eyes, “But don’t worry, I fixed it-”
“You were the one who did this!” I blared.
“No, I didn’t authorize this.” Jonathan responded, struggling to keep his voice calm.
I snorted, “Maybe not for me, but for every single other kid here you did!”
“That's different.” My father said curtly.
“How?” I retorted, “Why are there lives worth any less than mine?”
Jonathan fiddled with his fingers, a sign I knew meant that I was frustrating him, “Get her out of here.” He ordered with his eyes not leaving mine.
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Re: The Test. Please Read, Posting welcome

Postby l<3ve » Mon Oct 22, 2012 2:33 pm

I love this story! I have a suggestion though, perhaps you can make other "torture" chambers/ rooms because the drill chamber is very repetitive. Maybe something even more extreme or "blood-curdling." I love it though, I look forward to the future!
Image

ImageImageImage
ImageImageImage
L'AMOUR ET LE AMITÉ
LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP

L'AMOUR
LOVE
Le plus grand faible des hommes,
c'est l'amour qu'il sont de la vie.
A man's biggest weakness, is the
love of his life
AMITÉ
FRIENDSHIP
Un ami fidèle est une valeur de
dix mille parents
ONE true loyal friend is worth
more than 10000 family members

Don't you agree?
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Re: The Test. Please Read, Posting welcome

Postby hazelnut » Mon Oct 22, 2012 5:20 pm

Thanks for suggestion :3
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Re: The Test. Please Read, Posting welcome

Postby eternalglitch » Tue Oct 23, 2012 11:07 am

Really good so far, keep going. <3
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Re: The Test. Please Read, Posting welcome

Postby Dark Moon » Tue Oct 23, 2012 1:04 pm

Good so far! Write more please!
Image Image
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"She said to me, forget what you thought,
cause good girls are bad girls
who haven't been caught,
so just turn around and forget what you saw,
cause good girls are bad girls who haven't been caught"

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Made By: TheRubyDragon
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Re: The Test. Please Read, Posting welcome

Postby lights; » Tue Oct 23, 2012 7:12 pm

    This story so far is AMAZING. You are a really good writer and I'm looking forward to the next chapters! I really like the concept of 'The Test'. It's a really good idea.
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Re: The Test. Please Read, Posting welcome

Postby SongBird » Wed Oct 24, 2012 1:58 am

Not bad. :3 I'd go a bit more into why they decided torture was the best option, but other than that it's pretty good.
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Re: The Test. Please Read, Posting welcome

Postby lights; » Mon Oct 29, 2012 10:17 pm

    Are you going to write more chapters? You really should, your a good writer.
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Re: The Test. Please Read, Posting welcome

Postby hazelnut » Tue Oct 30, 2012 2:25 pm

I will write more chapters but at the moment school is stopping me :C I have so much homework!
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