Are you a writer or a poet? Come and share your creations with us, or discuss writing techniques with others
Forum rules
Please only post your own original work, do not post poetry or stories which were written by someone else.
by team free kick sass » Thu Sep 20, 2012 10:18 am
-wants to accept badly-
XD
hello there! i'm lithe, but feel free to call me whale, cheese, cheep, or cheetah. [yes, it's just a coincidence they all start with "ch". i'm an equestrian. c: i love sherlock, supernatural, doctor who, & so much more. i'm somewhat shy at first, so don't expect me to pm everybody. i love role-playing <3
this is a temporary signature, so i apologize for the horrid coding. cx i'm hopefully going to be getting a quality one soon!
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team free kick sass
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by Silverhart » Thu Sep 20, 2012 10:27 am
I read your pirate story. Cherry-girl and I really liked it! I don't know if you're looking some serious critique or not. I have some suggestions, but I overall I think it's really good. You have some nice descriptions, and I like the bit about her mother being a dancer. I thought that was a really great detail to add, and there were some other great little details and descriptions. I noticed you switched between past tense and present tense a lot, so I'd suggest going through the story and making everything the same tense. My other suggestion would be to just think about structuring your sentences differently so it's not all 'he said this, she did that'. Make your sentences more interesting. It's not always easy, but just keep it in mind when you write, and try to think of other ways to write a sentence. I think it's great though, the story is really good so far.

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Silverhart
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by skrundle » Thu Sep 20, 2012 1:08 pm
*Stalking thread*
Haha, this is so off-topic, but I wanted to share it.
After reading the first part of Obscure's new story A Dog Called Tess, I had an epiphany. I wasn't using enought detailed words! (If you read it, you'd know what I mean xD) So, when I was out sick, I spent the day reading a Webster's dictionary.
*Like a boss*
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jo | she/her | INFP
autistic adult, west coast USA
musician - flutist & pianist
i love cats, digital art, and miku
don't be shy! i don't bite ♥︎
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skrundle
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by Umbrellas » Thu Sep 20, 2012 1:16 pm
Username: TwistedQueen
What we will call you: Queen, please ^^
Will you critique other's work?: Yes, I would be happy to.
Links to your story if you have any: Not so far.
Anything you want us to know?: Just that I love writing and I'm quite excited to meet everyone! So yay! ^^
C.S. Lewis wrote:You can never get a cup of tea large enough, or a book long enough to suit me.
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Umbrellas
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by eden . » Thu Sep 20, 2012 1:17 pm
TwistedQueen wrote:Username: TwistedQueen
What we will call you: Queen, please ^^
Will you critique other's work?: Yes, I would be happy to.
Links to your story if you have any: Not so far.
Anything you want us to know?: Just that I love writing and I'm quite excited to meet everyone! So yay! ^^
accepted~
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eden .
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by Cherry » Thu Sep 20, 2012 1:22 pm
Tomorrow I'm starting the One Year Adventure Novel curriculum.
We're going to watch the DVD's at my friends house (it costs 200 dollars!) and there's going to be another girl there.
I have an idea for a story, but if she reads it (and she probably will) I'll be a little embarrassed. Grr why?
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Cherry
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