Survivor Guilt wrote:Survivor Guilt wrote:
King Thalamon of Athens x Elizabeth Eleanor Marie Lightning
"Well isn't this wonderful?" I mutter under my breath as I peer out into the street. In accordance with Greek culture, I can't be seen out without a male escort, so I'm going to have to be sneaky in getting out of the city. "I'm lost in a different time with no way of getting back home." I'm estimating that it's about 400 BC, which means I'm about twenty-four hundred years out of date. Going back in time isn't in itself unusual to me, as I've gone many past places without ceremony. However, not being able to open a gateway back home is very unusual, as this is the first time it's happened and more than a bit disconcerting, since I really don't want to get stuck in Athens, circa 400 BC.
I don't see anyone else out on the street right now - it's about twilight, so most citizens are in their homes with their families - besides the guard at the gate, and I know I can take him out easily as long I sneak up on him. However, if I'm caught-
Suddenly there's a cry of, "Woman!" in Greek behind me - I am fluent in Greek, as well as many other languages - and I sigh to turn around and find a startled shop owner staring at me in shock and fear, the pottery he was holding a shattered mess on the ground at his feet. I hadn't seen him before because he was in the back of his shop, so I guess there's nothing I could have done to avoid this. It's a shame that I'm going to have to kill him before anyone else hears.
Drawing an arrow from the quiver on my back and fitting it into my bow, I aim at his heart and am about to fire when a pair of arms grabs me from behind. My bow and arrow clatter to the ground, and I immediately begin to wriggle and squirm for all of my might. I manage to turn around and face my assailant, who happens to be the same guard I saw at the gate and a good five inches shorter than I am, and headbutt him for all I'm worth. Instantly he lets go of me and falls to the ground, unconscious.
I then turn back to the shop owner who originally raised the alarm to find two other guards coming at me now.
"Oh, beautiful," I growl under my breath as I watch them approach me warily. Deciding to take a less violent approach, I stand up and tell them clearly, in perfect Greek, "I mean you no harm. I just wish to leave the city."
The guards seem very surprised that I speak Greek - it's not like I look Greek, after all - but the one on the left quickly recovers from his shock to answer, "You are a woman, and you cannot be out on the street without a male escort. I'm sorry, but we have to apprehend you."
"That's too bad," I say, and the guards immediately get suspicious again. After all, I'm supposed to be giving up. "I didn't really want to hurt you two."
The shock is just starting to register on both of their faces when I charge them, find the pressure point in their shoulders, and grip their shoulders tightly until they both fall to the ground, unconscious like the first guard.
However, the shopkeeper has been yelling his lungs off during the whole exchange, so by this time a crowd of at least twenty guards has gathered. Balling my hands into fists, I watch them all warily as they slowly walk towards me, and feel my heart sink into my stomach when I realize I'm surrounded with my bow kicked off to the side. I still do have arrows, which I suppose I could throw like darts, but all of the guards are wearing fully body armor and have swords and daggers hanging from their belt.
"I guess this is what they call going down fighting," I murmur, steeling myself for the guards to rush at me. Suddenly, before I can do anything else, a guard grabs me from behind, and two more grab my arms and pull them behind my back before I can even try to fight the first guard off. I feel something tightening around my wrists and sigh as I feel the rope binding them together. It looks like the guards are going to apprehend me after all.
I look up in surprise when I hear the sounds of a large crowd ahead of me, and see that there are in fact at least two thousand people lining the sides of the streets. My gaze then falls on the procession in the middle of the streets, and immediately I understand why.
Sitting at the head of a long parade of nobles, astride a majestic bay stallion is a young man who could only be King Thalamon, the ruler of Greece who the people love with all of their hearts. He smiles and waves and occasionally even throws coins into the crowd, and his golden cloak ripples out behind him in the wind as his blue-green-gray eyes dance. He seems to love the people as much as they love him.
Suddenly the king sees the escort of twenty guards, with me in the middle being securely held by four of them, and his eyes meet mine for a moment. In that moment, I see right into his soul, and the intelligence, compassion and love for these people and this city that I find there greatly surprises me. I mean, he's king of the most powerful empire on earth, and he's not even arrogant!
Apparently he sees something in my eyes that intrigues him as well, as he gestures for the leading guard to approach his horse. The guard immediately does so, and falls to his knees in reverence before the king. I smile slightly when I see the exasperated, almost annoyed expression on the king's face, and realize that he must not be a big fan of being treated like a god. Of course, I can't blame him.
"Why does it take twenty men to apprehend a woman walking on the streets alone, guard?" the king asks after the guard gets to his feet, his eyes on me with an amused interest.
"She is a very skilled fighter, and succeeding in defeating three guards before we managed to apprehend her, your Majesty," the guard replies, bowing conspicuously after he's done talking, and I can't help but roll my eyes at the gesture. That would get really annoying really quickly.
The king seems to notice my eye-roll, for a smile crosses his face, and he slides off of his horse to walk towards me. I realize, with a start, that he's actually about three or four inches taller than I am, which is very surprising given the time period. He must be almost a foot taller than average for an Athenian man.
He stops when he is about five feet away from me, gestures for the guards to release me, and says with a grin, "I have not seen a girl so adept at embarrassing my best men as you seem to be. Tell me, what is your name?" His eyes are locked on mine, and it occurs to me, with another start, that, despite his size and intelligence, he can't be more than twenty-one years old.
"Lizzie," I reply instantly, not even bothering to think about using a false name to throw him off.
One eyebrow arches in skepticism, and he asks, "Just Lizzie?"
"Well," I concede, "Elizabeth Eleanor Marie Lightning, but Lizzie's a lot shorter."
"Indeed it is," he agrees with a smile, and, taking me by surprise, turns to his second-in-command - who is by his side now - and says in a loud voice, "Prepare a meal and a bed for her in my quarters. It seems that Lizzie and I have much to talk about." He then closes the gap in between us with three strides, wraps his arm around my shoulders, and walks me back to his horse, at which point he insists on helping me up.
After mounting behind me, which I find very disconcerting, he murmurs in my ear, apparently sensing my distress, "I'm sorry if you find this inappropriate at all; this is just the only way for us to be able to talk, as I am very interested to hear about how you got these incredible fighting skills of yours."
Even though I'm surprised at the amount of respect he showed me - after all, women are basically on the same level as slaves in Athenian society - I'm still not happy about being apprehended, and even less happy about being picked up by the king. "It's a very long story, your Majesty," I reply stiffly, wanting nothing more than to slide off the horse and bolt for the gate.
"Please call me Thalamon; I will have none of that 'your Majesty' nonsense from a foreigner too," he tells me, and, upon hearing the disgust in his voice, I know that my suspicions about him disliking the gestures made to him because of his status are correct. "And I have all the time I could ever want at my disposal, so I would love to hear your very long story."
I feel him smiling over my shoulder, and can't help but sigh slightly. All I want to do is get out of this damn city, not spend hours telling the king about my days as an assassin!
However, I can't let any of my reservations manifest themselves, lest I get caught in the midst of forming my escape plans, so I reply, "My story you'll hear then," not being able to resist adding a slightly medieval flair to my words.
"Good. I look forward to hearing about it over dinner." I feel him smiling again, and immediately my eyes shoot open at the 'over dinner' part. Do I honestly have a date with the king of Athens?
Part II
"Do you play?" Thalamon gestures to what appears to be an elaborate chess set - some of the pieces are different, but it seems to be essentially the same game - laid out on a small table in the corner, his eyes on my face the whole time. I don't think he's stopped looking at me for a moment since we first sat down to eat and talk two hours ago; the complete attention he pays to me is almost unsettling, especially since I know what it most likely means. While I truly do like him - he is just as intelligent, kind and witty as I first judged him to be - I don't like him like that; I will never be able to feel that way about another man, not with the ghost of Luke haunting me everywhere I turn.
"I do, in fact," I answer with a smile, thinking that, even if I don't understand all of the rules, I will catch on quick enough, and cross the room to help him pull the table and chairs out from the wall.
When the table is fully pulled out and we're both seated, he asks me respectfully, giving me a kind smile, "Which color would you like?"
"Black," I reply immediately, without even thinking. I have too much bad experience with white things - namely a certain white city - to want to be white ever again.
Thalamon seems slightly surprised and almost skeptical at my choice, considering that black moves last, but turns the table without comment and then makes the first move.
"I give up," Thalamon exclaims, throwing his hands up in the air in capitulation and frustration. "You would have had me in five." It turns out the game is exactly the same as chess, so I'm absolutely destroying Thalamon.
"I would have had you in two," I correct with a smile, and his eyes shoot open wide in surprise. I then demonstrate how I would have checkmated him, and he shakes his head in amazement.
"You're amazing, Lizzie," he murmurs, and I unwillingly meet his gaze to find his eyes so full of intensity and longing that I have to resist the urge to rise to my feet and leave.
Fortunately, I am saved from having to answer by Thalamon's chief adviser, an average-looking but intelligent man named Marius, walking into the room and annoucing to Thalamon, "Your Majesty, Lady Auralia is here."
Reluctantly Thalamon tears his gaze away from me to look over at Marius, and immediately says, "I am busy; send her away."
"But Your Majesty-" - I can't help but notice Thalamon cringe slightly at the 'your majesty' part - "-Lady Auralia and her family have come all the way from Delphi-"
"I do not care," Thalamon says, his tone much firmer this time. "Send her away." He turns his gaze back onto me to x-ray my expression carefully. I wonder what he's looking for.
"Yes, Your Majesty," Marius says, bowing his head slightly in respect, and leaves the room as quickly as he came.
"Who is Lady Auralia?" I can't help but ask, and I can immediately tell, from the way his lips press together and his face darkens some, that he doesn't like her very much.
"She's fourteen, mindless, and scared out of her wits of me," he answers, shaking his head. He rises to his feet and turns away from me to exclaim and turn back to me after a moment, "And they expect me to marry her!"
"Well, you're the king," I reply, not seeing the issue. "You're the most powerful man in Greece, so can't you just not marry her?"
"I have to marry a lady, a woman of noble blood, and they are all fourteen and mindless and scared out of their wits of me," he says quietly, and drops his gaze to the floor to search the tiles for a moment. He then looks back up at me, looks me in the eye and tells me, "I don't want to marry any of the ladies. I want to marry someone intelligent, with their own opinions and thoughts and words, who's brave enough to stand up and make those opinions known, and who's closer to my age than those ladies. I want to marry someone I can have a decent conversation and a good debate with, and I want someone I can laugh with and play chess with, someone who truly can understand me, on a human-to-human level, someone I'm in love with. I want to marry someone like you, Lizzie," he finishes, his voice dropping to a whisper as he stares me down. His gaze is filling with intensity and longing again, and the urge to run out of the room has filled me again too. However, he isn't done talking yet, and continues, "Lizzie, I have only known you for three hours, and I already am hopelessly in love with you. You are everything I could ever want, and everything I do want, and I will give you anything you want - anything at all, no matter how big or how small - if you marry me.
"Thalamon, I can't..." I begin, shaking my head. While he is very attractive physically, and a perfect match for me mentally, I will never be able to love him, because my heart died with Luke two and a half months ago. Unfortunately, I can't tell him all of the details surrouding that, so how on earth do I get myself out of this one? I mean, he's the king of Athens, and he could have me killed if I don't marry him! Besides, the only thing I want is something he can't give me, something no one except for death himself can give me: Luke back.
"Why can't you?" he asks me, his eyes glued to my expression. He takes a step forward to lay a gentle, reassuring hand on my arm, and surprisingly I find that I don't want to pull away.
"Because my heart belongs to a dead man," I murmur quietly, and he bows his head in understanding and removes his hand from my arm. A few moments go by in silence, neither one of us knowing what to say, until my sympathy for Thalamon's situation boils over and I burst out, "I would marry you though, to stop you from having to marry one of those mindless, frightened fourteen-year-old ladies." I've already told Thalamon that I am a lady - technically I'm a princess, with my dad being King of Storms - so I would fulfill his requirements for a noble bride.
A huge smile breaks out across Thalamon's face, and he asks me, "You're not joking?"
"No, as long as you understand three things." His smile is infectious, and I can't help but feel the corners of my mouth turn upwards as I look at him.
"Of course," he immediately replies, all trace of the beaming grin that was on his face seconds earlier completely gone and his expression absolutely serious.
"Number one: This is merely a favor, to stop you from having to marry one of those mindless little girls, and does not mean that I share your feelings or am attracted to you in the slightest." Thalamon instantly nods his head, and I continue, "Number two: I will not get physically intimate with you at all." Thalamon nods his head again, although I can see a little disappointment in his expression, and I finish, knowing this one is going to be the hardest one of all for him to swallow, "And number three: At some point or another, I will have to leave."
Much to my surprise, Thalamon merely nods his head a third time and tells me with a smile, "As long as I get to kiss you at the wedding."
Part III
"Do you believe in the gods?" Thalamon asks me, his eyes locked on mine. We're both sprawled out on our stomachs on the richly carpeted floor of his bedroom, the modified Greek chessboard we've played on so many times before between us. Like usual, he's losing magnificently.
"I believe in God, but I don't believe in religion," I answer after a moment, then make another move. We've been married for five hours, and we've spent three of those five playing chess and just talking. It's an excellent honeymoon, in my opinion.
"I'm not a big fan of religion either," Thalamon says with a smile, and, as he looks down at the chessboard, throws his hands up in capitulation, pushes the chessboard towards me and shakes his head.
"Is the king giving up?" I ask him teasingly, a smirk on my face.
"No, the king is admitting that he can't win against such a good opponent," he answers, trying his best - and failing miserably, I might add - to keep his dignity intact while essentially saying that he is giving up.
Smiling at his compliment, I say, "I have played this game with those pawns being real men. It greatly improves your appreciation of the game."
"Indeed it does," Thalamon agrees, his eyes locked on mine. Clearly he is wondering where I would have gotten experience directing troops, but he knows well enough by now not to ask, for fear of stumbling upon another backstory that takes an hour to explain.
A few moments go by in silence before I tear my gaze away from his - I have recently decided that he has the second-most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, as he edged out Marshall Moore for the second spot by a tiny margin - and realize that we were talking about religion before this. "I find religion to be organized hypocrisy, to be perfectly honest." When Thalamon nods his head in agreement, I continue, "I mean, even the claimed purpose of the institution - to worship the god or gods - is hypocritical, because the institution is in fact just another way to frighten, control and brainwash people."
"I agree completely," Thalamon says, "but I find the priests to be far more hypocritical than the religion itself. For example, they claim to be holy men of the gods, free from temptation and sin, yet they frequent the brothels and steal money from the temples and are far worse human beings than most of the rest of us!"
"Agreed completely," I reply, shaking my head. "The priests - those holy men of the gods-" - I can't help but snort derisively at that description of the priests - "-are honestly some of the most corrupt humans I've ever seen." Suddenly the comment about the priests visiting the brothels floats to the front of my mind, and I can't help but wonder if Thalamon ever did that.
My morbid curiosity gets the best of me after a few seconds of quiet, and I ask him, "Have you ever... done what the priests do?"
Immediately he understands what I'm talking about, and shakes his head vigorously. "Oh no; I have never been with a woman at all, in fact." He pauses for a moment, then questions me, "Have you ever been with a man?"
"No," I reply, shaking my head. "There was one man I wanted to do that with-"
"The dead man your heart belongs to?" Thalamon interrupts, and I nod my head yes, and finish my sentence.
"-But we never actually did." Thalamon nods his head in understanding, and the room falls silent for a few moments longer.
Suddenly a question that's been hiding out at the back of my mind for a while floats to the surface, and I ask him, "Thalamon, how old are you?"
"Twenty and five months," he replies, and immediately questions, "How old are you?"
Twenty and five months, huh? He's exactly as old as I thought he was. "Seventeen," I answer, and I can't help but smile when his jaw drops so far that it's in danger of hitting the carpet.
"You must be joking," he says. "There is no way you are only seventeen."
"Well, I'm seventeen and five months, but-" My sentence is interrupted by a yawn, and I raise a hand to my mouth to stifle it.
However, none of it escapes Thalamon, and he rises to his feet and walks across the room to pull back the curtain and peer out into the window overlooking the street. I can see from my spot on the floor that the moon is about in the middle of the sky, which means that it's almost midnight. It's amazing how quickly time flies when I'm having intelligent conversations and actually enjoying myself with Thalamon.
"Well, it's getting quite late, and I think we should turn in for the night," Thalamon says, then adds with a smirk, "After all, I don't really want to hear the servants whispering rumors about what we're doing in here."
"Yeah, I don't really want to hear the rumors either," I agree with a rueful smile, and rise to my feet. However, it immediately occurs to me that there's only one bed, and that I can't go out into the rest of his quarters to find another bed because we're supposed to be sleeping together.
Thalamon immediately notices me glancing around and says, his tone apologetic but also definitely excited, "I thought we could spend the night in the same bed. However," he immediately adds, although his voice markedly loses enthusiasm, "I can send for the servants to bring in more blankets and pillows, and I can sleep on the floor if you'd like."
"Oh no, this is fine," I quickly say, and, when Thalamon begins to walk towards the bed, I do as well.
It takes a couple minutes for us to get completely situated and comfortable in the bed, which is small enough to make it so that we are always touching each other, no matter how close to the edge of the feather matress I get.
Finally I just give up on the idea that I'm going to be able to spend the night without touching Thalamon and roll back over so that my head is resting on his chest. I can tell from the way that he stiffens slightly that he's surprised, but he quickly recovers from his surprise and wraps his arms around me possessively.
My heart is threatening to burst, as this is reminds me so acutely of how Luke and I used to sleep in the same bed, when Thalamon gently kisses my forehead and murmurs, "Good night, Lizzie," before his breathing slows and he drifts off to sleep almost immediately afterwards.
"Good night, Thalamon," I say after a long second of silence, and fall asleep soon afterwards.
I last about a week before deciding that it's too painful to stay around in Athens with Thalamon. The way he looks at me, the deference and devotion he shows me, even our relationship - where I'm faking and he's not - are too acutely reminiscent of Luke and the relationship we had early on for me to be able to bear it much longer.
I make plans - and bribe a few servants with gold to keep them quiet - to sneak away in the night, and find myself frantically packing a change of clothes and some food and water into a small leather bag that I sling over one shoulder. I also managed - by way of bribery - to get my bow, quiver of arrows and sword back, and am in the process of strapping them on when Thalamon walks into the room I'm in, whistling a happy tune. That's the one good thing that’s come out of this marriage, besides him not having to marry a mindless fourteen-year-old: he's become noticeably happier and more tolerant of the people around him.
However, all happiness disappears from his face when he finds me standing there, with my bow slung over my shoulder and my hands at my sword-belt, and he immediately asks, "What are you doing?"
"Thalamon, I told you that I would have to leave at one point," I begin, and see his expression fall fifty stories when he realizes where I'm going with this. "Well, that point is now."
"Alright, ok," he mutters, dropping his gaze to the floor as hurt blankets his entire being. Looking back up at me, he says quietly, "I just didn't realize you would have to leave so soon."
"I didn't realize I would have to leave so soon either," I reply quietly and completely truthfully. I honestly thought I would be able to last longer than week - I thought I would make it to a month at least - but I guess I overestimated my ability to forget Luke for any length of time.
A few moments go by in an incredibly sad and depressing silence until Thalamon finally murmurs, looking up at me and capturing my gaze with his own swirling-blue-green-gray one, "Well, I guess this is goodbye."
"Yeah, I guess it is," I agree softly, not trusting myself to say anything more. I hesitate for a moment, fighting the urge threatening to take over, but finally let it control me, and close the gap between Thalamon and I in four long strides to look him directly in the eye and tell him, my heart breaking at the pain on his face, "I'm sorry." I then stand on tiptoe and kiss him on the cheek, and quickly retrieve what's left of my supplies before walking hurriedly towards the door and exiting.
I am just about to close the door again when I hear Thalamon's voice, and I can't help but stop and listen.
"I will love you always, Lizzie," he whispers, and I see a singular tear make its way down his cheek and drip onto the marble floor with an eerily loud splash.
Before I can even think, I find myself turning and running out of the palace, and out of Athens, the empty hole in my chest bleeding for all it's worth as I think of King Thalamon of Athens, another name to add to the list of my broken boys.
I think I did a pretty good job on the ending, any comments?
Reece & Harley
Your not alone;
▬▬❨
