Illiterate to Literate [closed - new instructors hired!]

[rose;]

I can help with plot development, but probably not literacy, since I don't so as well in first person.

[owl,]

okay, yay, I have a plot idea in mind, but I think I need help making it different than most, and making it fuller. Like more detail and things, you know?

[rose;]

yep, I know what you mean ^^ Shoot me a message, and I'd be glad to help you out ^^

[Noel]

Owl: If you want, I can also help you with that. c: My classes are currently empty and I don't have much to do, and developing plots is my favorite thing to do.

[Paradise;]

Username: Paradise; | Just call me paradise.
What You'd Like Help With:
Removing "fluff"
Dialogue
Interesting vocabulary
Improving my writing
Creating intresting, non-cliche characters
Preferred Instructor: Smamm for my writing preferably please. Then Kiro & Hikari for character creation. ^^
Activity or Time Zone: I'm on quite a bit. This coming Sunday (the 19th) I will be gone for a week (until the 26th) and won't have internet sadly. After that school will be starting and I will be on atleast once in the morning to check for stuff and then in the afternoon to reply to role plays and stuff that requires lots of time.
Sample of Writing:

||W I N T E R||

So what made you think you could take a life
And just push it push it around
I guess to build yourself up so high
You had to take her and break her down

she let her heart
and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream
and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice
and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears
is telling her she can't
You stupid boy

Everything was perfect. Everything had it's place and everything was organized into neat little piles. Somethings like books, CDs and movies were organized alphabetically. Winter wasn't OCD or anything; she just had a lot of spare time at the time. However, by the end of the week Winter woudl probably be just throwing things wherever. Then about every two weeks she would probably re-organize everything perfectly. Then, the cycle would just start all over.

With an exagerated sigh, Winter flopped onto her bed. For two straight hours Winter had un-packed and then organized everything. She hadn't wanted to leave her room until all the students were to be called down for the first day assembly and therefore needed something to do. Which led to things being neat and tidy. Something Winter wasn't used to. Having a younger sister living in the house meant things were scattered and placed where ever they could be put without a toddler getting a hold of them. Winter already missed her adoptive family. They were her family technically. The only ones who still talked to her. Well, not Sarah exactly. She wasn't quite old enough. Although, she'd finally learned how to say Winter's name. Though, it mostly came out as Win-er.

The room was so quiet Winter could make out her own breathing. She sat up just in time to hear footsteps coming down the hall. The once silent room was filled with the sound of girlish giggling and the clanging of stuff in bags as a teenage girl burst open the door. Winter jumped to her feet and instantly went into defensize position. Her whole body went rigid and quickly relaxed when Winter noticed the girl was no harm. She was covered in paint and was a mess. The poor room. Once so organized and clean. Winter knew that from the looks of the new girl it wouldn't be for long. The new girl must be her roommate, otherwise how else would she have gotten in? You needed a key after all. Winter figured no staff member would act like that. Just as Winter was about to appraoch the girl and introfuce herself, the girl lept onto the second bed and started to scream her head off. She was obviously excited to be at the school.

Winter waited a few moments before quietly taking a seat on her bed. She watched the girl in amusement and was slightly startled when the girl spoke up. "Hello." Winter waved her hand slightly, still a little shocked. This girl was definetly strange. Sharing a room with her for a year might be an adventure itself. Nevermind the school, just the people would be...different. "I'm Winter. I'm guessing we're going to be roommates. Your name being?" Winter asked, raising one of her eyebrows. Winter was still trying to figure out her opinion on this girl. The two girls already appeared to be opposites. Winter was neat and tidy; this girl appeared scatter brained and a "spur of the moment" kind of person.

{{I also have a plot brewing in my mind that I would love to have help developping. I'm not so great at the little details part. I just have a main idea. }}

[Smamm]

Username: Paradise; | Just call me paradise.
What You'd Like Help With:
Removing "fluff"
Dialogue
Interesting vocabulary
Improving my writing
Creating intresting, non-cliche characters
Preferred Instructor: Smamm for my writing preferably please. Then Kiro & Hikari for character creation. ^^
Activity or Time Zone: I'm on quite a bit. This coming Sunday (the 19th) I will be gone for a week (until the 26th) and won't have internet sadly. After that school will be starting and I will be on atleast once in the morning to check for stuff and then in the afternoon to reply to role plays and stuff that requires lots of time.
Sample of Writing:

||W I N T E R||

So what made you think you could take a life
And just push it push it around
I guess to build yourself up so high
You had to take her and break her down

she let her heart
and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream
and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice
and that's what happens
When the only voice she hears
is telling her she can't
You stupid boy

Everything was perfect. Everything had it's place and everything was organized into neat little piles. Somethings like books, CDs and movies were organized alphabetically. Winter wasn't OCD or anything; she just had a lot of spare time at the time. However, by the end of the week Winter woudl probably be just throwing things wherever. Then about every two weeks she would probably re-organize everything perfectly. Then, the cycle would just start all over.

With an exagerated sigh, Winter flopped onto her bed. For two straight hours Winter had un-packed and then organized everything. She hadn't wanted to leave her room until all the students were to be called down for the first day assembly and therefore needed something to do. Which led to things being neat and tidy. Something Winter wasn't used to. Having a younger sister living in the house meant things were scattered and placed where ever they could be put without a toddler getting a hold of them. Winter already missed her adoptive family. They were her family technically. The only ones who still talked to her. Well, not Sarah exactly. She wasn't quite old enough. Although, she'd finally learned how to say Winter's name. Though, it mostly came out as Win-er.

The room was so quiet Winter could make out her own breathing. She sat up just in time to hear footsteps coming down the hall. The once silent room was filled with the sound of girlish giggling and the clanging of stuff in bags as a teenage girl burst open the door. Winter jumped to her feet and instantly went into defensize position. Her whole body went rigid and quickly relaxed when Winter noticed the girl was no harm. She was covered in paint and was a mess. The poor room. Once so organized and clean. Winter knew that from the looks of the new girl it wouldn't be for long. The new girl must be her roommate, otherwise how else would she have gotten in? You needed a key after all. Winter figured no staff member would act like that. Just as Winter was about to appraoch the girl and introfuce herself, the girl lept onto the second bed and started to scream her head off. She was obviously excited to be at the school.

Winter waited a few moments before quietly taking a seat on her bed. She watched the girl in amusement and was slightly startled when the girl spoke up. "Hello." Winter waved her hand slightly, still a little shocked. This girl was definetly strange. Sharing a room with her for a year might be an adventure itself. Nevermind the school, just the people would be...different. "I'm Winter. I'm guessing we're going to be roommates. Your name being?" Winter asked, raising one of her eyebrows. Winter was still trying to figure out her opinion on this girl. The two girls already appeared to be opposites. Winter was neat and tidy; this girl appeared scatter brained and a "spur of the moment" kind of person.

{{I also have a plot brewing in my mind that I would love to have help developping. I'm not so great at the little details part. I just have a main idea. }}

Okie doke, I can help you out with Removing "fluff", dialogue , interesting vocabulary, and improving your writing. ^^ Just drop me a PM when you get the chance! ^^

[Paradise;]

Thank you so much. I will shoot you over a PM right away.

Paradise

[shay ;]

Username: lady. a m a n t e, but please call me Missy!
What You'd Like Help With: Critique writing
Critique characters
Being Literate
Maintaining a roleplay
Developing Plots
Developing Characters (Especially male, but even female)
Preferred Instructor:
Activity or Time Zone: UTC/GMT +1 hour as for timezone. Activity, I'd say I am online. Sometimes I'm online when I'm really not. I leave my computer on with CS up. But I am going to Italy on Friday, so... I will have only my phone. Plus, I have no idea if there is wifi.
Sample of Writing:

Rosalyn inhaled the cool air from inside the tattoo store and looked around, if she could see Rodney. He was at his usual seat, he was probably in the middle of drawing art on someones skin. She once thought about getting one of this famous tattoo's. Everytime she comes in here, that thought comes back and back. Looking away she saw a few other people giving tattoo's. But then, Rosalyn decided to take another glance at Rodney. She watched him hand the man his, of course wondeful, sketch.

At that moment someone her interrupted her quiet moment. This woman came up to her. "Hi, Blondie. You here for somebody?" she said. Rosalyn looked up at Angela. She also noticed that everybody else was looking at her. She thought of giving a sweet approach, but changed her mind quickly. "The name's Rose, and not really. Just looking for a job." she said and lifted her eyebrow. She had this weird feeling, she did not like this woman, named Angela, as it said on her tag.

Finally, after a few second's Rodney noticed she was here. "What's up?" he asked her. Rosalyn turned to Rodney, then glanced at Angela and then back at Rodney. She bit her lip. "Not much. Looking for a job. You don't suppose I can find something here?" she asked Rodney with a smile. Then again, the thought of getting a god d*mn tattoo. Everytime she see's him. After a few seconds of silence, Rosalyn got her mind of getting a tattoo, even though it was one of her long lost dreams.

Rosalyn looked at her shoes, they were new, she remembered. Stolen from a shoe store of Western avenue. It was a nice pair of summer heals, about two inches maybe three. Not much, though. After dedicating a few seconds to her shoes, Rosalyn looked back up. This time, it was only Angela, who was getting bored and annoyed by her and Rodney, he was at his chair giving a guy a tattoo. The guy seemed annoyed as well, she guessed it was because of the tattoo, even though Rodney gives lovely ones. He partner in crime was interested in the man's grim reaper tattoo, for some reason, Rodney always did that.

[bird.]

Thank you so much, City! That helped me greatly! Now all my problems on my iPod for CS are gone. C:

All I have left to solve is going from Semi-Lit, to Literate. :3

Does anyone have any tips to make your post pretty? My ideas seem to e others as well, and I feel like I would be copying if I did so. I just can't think of a pretty way to format my posts.. (Without fontmeme)

I'm going on vacatio, I'll be back on the 26th. C:

[HyperJax]

Username: HyperJax
What You'd Like Help With:
Critiquing Work
Growing Users from Illiterate to Semi-Literate+
Developing Believable Characters
Developing Detailed Physical Descriptions
And just some miscellaneous help with roleplaying in general ^.^
Preferred Instructor:
Activity or Time Zone: My timezone is GMT, and as for activity, I'm very active. I'm online every day for several hours, unless I'm on vacation. I use several devices, including an iPhone which i carry around with me almost all of the time.
Sample of Writing:
JAXTE

Once Jaxte had reached the dock, he suddenly stopped walking and looked at a new, flashy ship docked a few ships away from his own. Standing in front of the new arrival, there was a male human dressed in a simple armorweave tunic, opening up a cargo hold and hauling out the goods. When Jaxte looked closer, he saw that the "goods" were actually weapons. Blaster rifles, vibroblades, and thermal detonators. The man turned around and greeted Jaxte. "Hello there, sir! Would you like to buy a few, erm, self-defense utilities?" He asked. Jaxte nodded, and took a look. His eyes were caught by a large, almost makeshift looking rifle with a bayonet at the front. "What's that?" He asked. "That, my friend, is a slugthrower. Real good against lightsabers, but they have pretty strange ballistics. They also use, erm, unconventional ammo.". Jaxte thought about Josephine back in his ship, and said "I'll take one."