❋❅✡ⓈⒸⒶⓇⓁⒺⓉ❅✡❋ ((Posting Open.))

Are you a writer or a poet? Come and share your creations with us, or discuss writing techniques with others
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Please only post your own original work, do not post poetry or stories which were written by someone else.

So what d'yall think??

I love it, please write more.
13
59%
Its good, but it needs some tweaking.
8
36%
Its alright, but It could use a lot of work.
0
No votes
Its not all that great, it needs improvement.
1
5%
Its not good.
0
No votes
I hate it.
0
No votes
 
Total votes : 22

Re: ❋❅✡ⓈⒸⒶⓇⓁⒺⓉ❅✡❋ ((Posting Open.))

Postby Firepack » Sun Jul 15, 2012 8:18 am

keep going :)
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(hey guys! minnie is real!! and how i have been rping her is how she really acts. here is a link to her most recent pictures if you want to know what she really looks like! viewtopic.php?f=44&t=1308171 )
I would appreciate evenone click :)

ImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImage
(trying to get pets for my adoption center, and for trading so i can bomb people....appreciate any help!)
Hey guys, I am in High School now (yay!) and i have to start focusing on more after school activities (golf ^_^), so im going to be offline a lot...So sorry for any inconveniences!!
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Chapter Four

Postby nutella ♥ » Sun Jul 15, 2012 10:21 am

    Chapter Four
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    I woke up to in a dark room, a very small dark room. I immediately started to panic, being claustrophobic. I pressed my hands against the walls, as if to stop them from closing in on me. "No," I breathed, gritting my teeth. "No, no, no." I felt around the room- sorry, cage -for any sign of entrance. There. A small latch, in-openable from the inside, unless you're a super-half-human-half-gryphon kind of girl like myself. I pressed my back against the wall opposite of the latch and kicked it with my feet. It busted open easily. I scrambled out of the cage and found myself in a large room filled with test tubes, mysterious bubbling substances in jars, piles of notes, filing cabinets, computers and a wooden desk in the middle, piled high with clipboards, pens and other junk like that. Scanning the room through the dim light, I soon found the door. I grasped the handle and pressed my ear against the wall, using my extra-hearing powers to check if anyone was coming. Nope, all clear. I opened the door as quietly as possible and slipped out soundlessly.

    Navigating through the hallways of the Lab is not as easy as you'd think. Trust me, I know from experience. I turned this way and that, going through every single hallway I could find, but nothing. There were almost no doors anywhere, only a few every five minutes labeled 'Lab 2.4325346' or 'Project 3.249'. Ugh. Another Project. The things that the Lab does.... it sickens me. Every time I passed a Project, I was half-tempted to go in and help the pour soul inside. But I never did. Painfully, I kept on going, focusing on my escape plan. It had been sheer luck that I'd managed to escape last time, and honestly I wasn't entirely sure if I could do it again.

    I stopped every now an then, listening for any sign of movement. None. It seemed like the whole Lab was... asleep or something. I found my thoughts trailing off to Bea. Where was she? How is she? And the question that was nagging me the most... Was Dr. Loid really Bea's dad? I didn't think so. It was too... coincidental. Yes, that was the word. Dr. Loid travels for months in the forest looking for his long lost daughter who ran away from home when she had been five years old... and along the way meets a half-gryphon fourteen year old girl with wings. Yup, sound 'bout right.

    My ears picked up a faint trace of sound... coming from behind me. I froze in my tracks, looking for somewhere to hide. Footsteps, at least two people. I heard them talking, and I could make out their words clearly. "He's a real specimen, he is. Just like the girl. Its more successful than I thought it would be." It was a woman's voice who spoke next. "Yes doctor. Wait until you see him. Its taken two years to complete, but we've done it. His wings are three times stronger than the girls, and his feathers have already started sprouting." I slipped into a storage room, covering my mouth with my hand. Wings?! I listened closer. "It was unfortunate when the girl ran off. She could have been enhanced so much, to be up to the boy's standards. Her feathers, they haven't sprouted yet, have they Jones?" Jones, a dude with a very macho sounding voice, replied. "No, but they're due anytime soon. The gryphon children are our top specimen, and if anything should happen to them our whole facility would be in chaos." I liked the sound of the Lab in chaos. The footsteps past my storage closet, and they continued speaking. "I'm so glad we made another one. The boy's parents were hesitant to give him up, but we eventually talked them into it. A poor family, they were. Couldn't afford to care for a child anyway. I say we're doing 'em a favour." I clenched my teeth, jaw tight. Who were these people to take children away from families? What about my parents? Who were they? I closed my eyes, resisting tears. I had a family.

    But that didn't matter now. I had an entirely new mission; rescue the other gryphon kid, the boy. Then I'd find a way to escape.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.
Somebody left the gate open
You know we got lost on the way
Come save us a runaway train
Goin' insane
How do we
How do we not
fade
How do we how do we
How do we not
fade away
How do we how do we oh

. : ɪ ɴ ᴛ ᴏ ᴛ ʜ ᴇ ᴡ ɪ ʟ ᴅ : .

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

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Re: ❋❅✡ⓈⒸⒶⓇⓁⒺⓉ❅✡❋ ((Posting Open.))

Postby nutella ♥ » Sun Jul 15, 2012 1:46 pm

    Bump.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.
Somebody left the gate open
You know we got lost on the way
Come save us a runaway train
Goin' insane
How do we
How do we not
fade
How do we how do we
How do we not
fade away
How do we how do we oh

. : ɪ ɴ ᴛ ᴏ ᴛ ʜ ᴇ ᴡ ɪ ʟ ᴅ : .

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

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nutella ♥
 
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Re: ❋❅✡ⓈⒸⒶⓇⓁⒺⓉ❅✡❋ ((Posting Open.))

Postby kyum- » Sun Jul 15, 2012 2:25 pm

Gryphon guy? I think I know where this is heading. >:3
currently wip (or forever idk)
but have a gif of my day6 boys <3
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Re: ❋❅✡ⓈⒸⒶⓇⓁⒺⓉ❅✡❋ ((Posting Open.))

Postby Firepack » Sun Jul 15, 2012 8:10 pm

good, but its getting unrealistic. why would no one be guarding her door/cell after she has already escaped the first time? and if there are barely any doors, how was she able to easily find a closet?
Image
Image

Image
(hey guys! minnie is real!! and how i have been rping her is how she really acts. here is a link to her most recent pictures if you want to know what she really looks like! viewtopic.php?f=44&t=1308171 )
I would appreciate evenone click :)

ImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImageImage
(trying to get pets for my adoption center, and for trading so i can bomb people....appreciate any help!)
Hey guys, I am in High School now (yay!) and i have to start focusing on more after school activities (golf ^_^), so im going to be offline a lot...So sorry for any inconveniences!!
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Firepack
 
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Re: ❋❅✡ⓈⒸⒶⓇⓁⒺⓉ❅✡❋ ((Posting Open.))

Postby nutella ♥ » Wed Jul 18, 2012 11:35 am

    I'm getting to that. I have it all figured out. But I'm going away for a week, won't be able to write much.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.
Somebody left the gate open
You know we got lost on the way
Come save us a runaway train
Goin' insane
How do we
How do we not
fade
How do we how do we
How do we not
fade away
How do we how do we oh

. : ɪ ɴ ᴛ ᴏ ᴛ ʜ ᴇ ᴡ ɪ ʟ ᴅ : .

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

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nutella ♥
 
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Chapter Five

Postby nutella ♥ » Wed Jul 18, 2012 12:46 pm

    Chapter Five
Image

    I had to admit, I had no idea what my plan was. First of all, I had to get out of the storage closet I'd been hiding in, which didn't seem to be a storage closet at all. It was a supply room, filled with hairs, jars, fancy science equipment and a few mops, my excuse for mistaking it as a storage closet. It stunk of rotten cheese and old socks, so I was in no hurry to stay to see what was inside those jars.

    I scurried outside and breathed in the clean air gratefully. I'm stronger than the average human, but so is my nose. I pressed my ear against the wall, listening for vibrations. I could hear the scientists I'd overheard still talking, but I couldn't make out their words. I followed, blood pounding in my ears. My heart seemed to be working overtime so I didn't have a mental breakdown on the spot. I'm usually the calm type, but under pressure I'm a real mess. I was afraid, afraid to meet the new gryphon kid and afraid of the Lab in general. But I pressed on despite my fear. Stay calm, Scarlet. Don't chicken out. The vibrations led me further and further into the Lab, and I knew I was lost. But I also knew I was catching up to the scientists. I could hear their footsteps, echoing throughout the hallway, every breath, every move, every sound. Sometimes my abilities scared me, the ways I can move so lightly on my feet, hear so well, smell like a bloodhound, fight like a wolf. I heard something fall to the ground, keys, I guessed, and someone reach down with a grunt to pick them up, muttering a curse that an ordinary man couldn't hear if he had been standing right next to him.

    Suddenly I realize that I was much closer to the scientists than I'd thought. As soon as I turned the next corner, I saw all three of them. I caught a pretty good look at them before Inducked my head back around the corner, breathing hard. They all wore identical white lab coats, indicating they were scientists. The first one, who I assumed was Jones, was very strongly built. He had dark olive skin with big bulky shoulders and arms and legs that looked like they were made of muscle. He looked like he could be mistaken for the Hulk's long lost brother. He had thick black curls with small wisps of hair for a beard. He had dark brown eyes that looked like they could burn through your flesh just by looking at you for too long. The other scientist, the female, was gorgeous. She had long chocolate brown hair that stayed straight up until her shoulders, where it waved nicely. Her nose curved upwards, wich made it look cute. She had long, elegant piano fingers, thin and agile. She wore little makeup, like she didn't want to attract attention to herself. Or she just thought she was so pretty that she didn't need makeup. Her eyelashes were so long they looked fake, eyelashes most girls would kill for. She had pointed elvish ears, but she managed to make them look glamourous. All in all, she was perfect. Wich made the man beside her look like a sewer rat.

    He had an odd figure, crooked and awkward. His features were... Unique. He had big green eyes that had a crazed look to them, with a crooked nose and small crooked teeth. He was nearly bald, with tiny wisps of grey hair sticking up in various places. His hands were rough and bulky, and his feet were oversized too. He gave me the chills just by looking at him. And I don't mean that to be rude. Trust me, if you were there, you'd understand. The guy looked like a crazy Santa Claus. When I ducked my head back around the corner, I was almost sure that he'd seen me. But he didn't say anything. Jones, the Hulk, cracked open a door in front of him. "After you, doctor." he boomed, flashing the crazy man a fake smile. Then, to the woman, he rolled his eyes. She grinned back, studying the doctor as if she was judging if he was worthy of her attention or not. The doctor smiled his crooked smile and shuffled inside, followed by the woman and Jones.

    The door starting to swing shut. I could hear the scientists maneuvering deeper into the room. This was my chance. I could make it in time, before the door shut. I lunged forward and slid onto my back with an ouff, eyes closed. When I peaked open my eyes, I let out a sigh of relief. My foot was caught inside the door, keeping it open. And above the door, the label read, Project 3.148.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.
Somebody left the gate open
You know we got lost on the way
Come save us a runaway train
Goin' insane
How do we
How do we not
fade
How do we how do we
How do we not
fade away
How do we how do we oh

. : ɪ ɴ ᴛ ᴏ ᴛ ʜ ᴇ ᴡ ɪ ʟ ᴅ : .

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

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Re: ❋❅✡ⓈⒸⒶⓇⓁⒺⓉ❅✡❋ ((Posting Open.))

Postby elfaron. » Wed Jul 18, 2012 1:19 pm

You have another stalker. I love your writing style. It really gets across the message you're going for, I think. It gives one that feeling you get when your watching a movie, and the character is doing something that makes you on the edge of your seat and filled with anticipation.
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hi! i'm elfaron, [sindarin for "hunter of the stars"] though you may know me as lily or sydnee. i'll answer to both, and elfaron/faron. i love lord of the rings, harry potter, marvel, lost, the hunger games and music like the arctic monkeys and vampire weekend. nerdy things. xImageImageImage
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Re: ❋❅✡ⓈⒸⒶⓇⓁⒺⓉ❅✡❋ ((Posting Open.))

Postby nutella ♥ » Fri Jul 20, 2012 2:55 pm

    Thank you so much. It means a lot to me. And thank you to everyone who voted on the poll, gave me critique and opinions and encouragement. I couldn't be happier. C:
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.
Somebody left the gate open
You know we got lost on the way
Come save us a runaway train
Goin' insane
How do we
How do we not
fade
How do we how do we
How do we not
fade away
How do we how do we oh

. : ɪ ɴ ᴛ ᴏ ᴛ ʜ ᴇ ᴡ ɪ ʟ ᴅ : .

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

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nutella ♥
 
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Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2011 12:08 pm
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Re: ❋❅✡ⓈⒸⒶⓇⓁⒺⓉ❅✡❋ ((Posting Open.))

Postby nutella ♥ » Sat Jul 21, 2012 2:40 pm

    Ugh.. I've been so busy I can't find time for writing, so sorry. T.T I promise I will have more done on the weekend. :3
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.
Somebody left the gate open
You know we got lost on the way
Come save us a runaway train
Goin' insane
How do we
How do we not
fade
How do we how do we
How do we not
fade away
How do we how do we oh

. : ɪ ɴ ᴛ ᴏ ᴛ ʜ ᴇ ᴡ ɪ ʟ ᴅ : .

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

User avatar
nutella ♥
 
Posts: 2475
Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2011 12:08 pm
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