Tails or Tales?~ please critique and comment^^

[Faint]

I think it is a lovely story in itself, however, when you start talking about the character Arina and especially in first person, the amount of self-revolvement that surrounds her, prevents people from wanting to read further. No one likes 'perfect' characters with perfect hair, beautiful singing voice and etc.
And don't rush scenes! :3 You are capable of making a pleasant and beautiful piece of work, I think you could also expand more about the characters' feeling (in particular Carter) about The Switch. I doubt you just turn into a merperson and go swimming happily without feeling horror or terror earlier on. :3

But otherwise, you have a very tasteful and lively writing style. Your descriptions of people and places never remain dull, the whole scenes that you write about are brought to life very easily. I would love to read any of your other stories :3

[Dark Moon]

Your story is really good.I only think that before Carter swam off, he should have felt terror or horror.

[tattoo]

Your story is really good.I only think that before Carter swam off, he should have felt terror or horror.

thanks^^ im still working things in and editing around on my computer but i dont plan on updating this story. thanks for the advice though! <3

[tattoo]

I think it is a lovely story in itself, however, when you start talking about the character Arina and especially in first person, the amount of self-revolvement that surrounds her, prevents people from wanting to read further. No one likes 'perfect' characters with perfect hair, beautiful singing voice and etc.
And don't rush scenes! :3 You are capable of making a pleasant and beautiful piece of work, I think you could also expand more about the characters' feeling (in particular Carter) about The Switch. I doubt you just turn into a merperson and go swimming happily without feeling horror or terror earlier on. :3

But otherwise, you have a very tasteful and lively writing style. Your descriptions of people and places never remain dull, the whole scenes that you write about are brought to life very easily. I would love to read any of your other stories :3

and thanks to you too! i really really needed the critique! <3
ill take your advice to heart and edit it into the story.
i cant thank you enough!^^
[sowey for the double post:(]

[Faint]

I am sorry for crticizing so much your work ^^'

[star light :)]

Nice >^^

[tattoo]

I am sorry for crticizing so much your work ^^'

no i loved it thank you!

[Celestial Skies]

OMG I LUV IT!!!!!!!!!!

[tattoo]

thanks :3