Stealth of a Storm

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What do you think of my story? (The truth and nothing but the truth! XD)

It's amazing!
1
33%
It's OK.
2
67%
Needs a lot of improvement.
0
No votes
Boring (it's okay, tell me the truth.)
0
No votes
 
Total votes : 3

Stealth of a Storm

Postby naturalharmony. » Thu Jun 21, 2012 3:48 am

Story currently has no name or plot... NOW CALLED Stealth of A Storm I'm making it up as I go along.
Got a mini plot in my head so kinda basing it on that.

Stealth Of A Storm

Prologue

Ragged grey slivers of clouds threatened the glowing moon. The sky was as black as coal and only a few lone stars shone weakly over the land.
It was twilight. No one dared to come out at twilight for there was an unspoken secret lurking in the depths of the shadows. Something sinister. Something murderous. Something so cruel and unimaginable stalked the ominous shadows of the land that no soul dared to even think about.
As the night grew lighter and the sun began to peak out from the horizon, it's luminous face letting rays of orange spread across the land. The temperature was hot. Very hot. Stifling in fact. Not even the coldest animal on earth could withstand the temperature at this time.

The vast barren land stretched away in every direction as far as the eye could see. Small, fragile shrubs were scattered across the arid landscape, withering their long crooked fingers towards the ground. Raven black sky smothered the silent night, the light of the faraway stars was gently fading as time moved slowly forward.

As if the whole universe was broken from their frozen state, comforting sound filled the eerie desert. Chirping and twittering, the lonely song of the cricket could be heard clearly through the other sounds of the night. Muscular scorpions crawled across the dry desert, making the most of the cooling air before the desert increased temperature to unbearable heat. The desert was waking up after their slumber but would soon retreat back to the comforts of their dens after they had their fill of prey.

Nearby, a scrawny desert rat nibbled at a centipede before licking its lips in satisfaction and scurrying off towards a small smooth rock. Further away, towards the horizon, a bright, scorching ball of light was edging its way up into the sky. The sun. As the light of day was beginning to show,the sky lightened considerably to a light blue. A soft breeze carried more shaggy clouds towards the sun but every living thing knew the sun wouldn't be covered. Never had the sun been covered by clouds and never would that change...until this seemingly normal day.
Last edited by naturalharmony. on Sun Sep 15, 2013 11:18 pm, edited 10 times in total.
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Re: Story with no name.

Postby naturalharmony. » Thu Jun 21, 2012 5:21 am

XXXXXX
Last edited by naturalharmony. on Sun Sep 15, 2013 11:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Story with no name.

Postby Wolfie♥Louis » Thu Jun 21, 2012 5:44 am

Looks great so far, I love your descriptive language, very nice. ^^ Keep up the great work!
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Re: Story with no name.

Postby naturalharmony. » Thu Jun 21, 2012 5:46 am

Wolfie♥Louis wrote:Looks great so far, I love your descriptive language, very nice. ^^ Keep up the great work!


Thanks Wolfie. I do take critique if you find you need to btw.
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Re: Story with no name.

Postby Wolfie♥Louis » Thu Jun 21, 2012 5:50 am

No, I have no critique, I can't quite find anything to critique ;)
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Re: Story with no name.

Postby naturalharmony. » Thu Jun 21, 2012 5:57 am

Wolfie♥Louis wrote:No, I have no critique, I can't quite find anything to critique ;)



Aww. :3 Thank you but I'm sure I could find bad points in my work. In Chapter 1 from half down the 1st paragraph till the end of the second paragraph I think it got quite boring. I've got another story too. I just need to dig it up from my posts since no one had posted on it for a while.
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Re: Story with no name.

Postby naturalharmony. » Thu Jun 21, 2012 6:14 pm

bumpity bump bump
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Re: Story with no name.

Postby INK. » Thu Jun 21, 2012 7:06 pm

You are a very descriptive writer, I like it a lot :D
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Re: Story with no name.

Postby icicle1107 » Thu Jun 21, 2012 7:13 pm

I like the description ness :D
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Re: Story with no name.

Postby naturalharmony. » Fri Jun 22, 2012 2:49 am

icicle1107 wrote:I like the description ness :D


~scribbles~ wrote:You are a very descriptive writer, I like it a lot :D



Thank you! *Huggles*
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