Ŧαbləs Hαvə Ŧurnəd - Back up! c:

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Ŧαbləs Hαvə Ŧurnəd - Back up! c:

Postby CaptiveLegacy » Tue May 29, 2012 3:12 am

.: Ŧαbləs Hαvə Ŧurnəd :.


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prologue
Mysteries. Adventure. Excitement
Isn't that what we all drive for?
Questions and answers.
Is that what we search for?

For years, the evolved have wanted to know why we were chosen. Why we were more advanced then the untamed. Others questioned on what made us so smart, or who made us so smart. And for a long time, we wondered about these questions, wanting to find the answer, but didn't have the driving force. But now, things are changing. Groups of Evolved are rising, hungry for their answers.
And answers they shall receive.


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Last edited by CaptiveLegacy on Sun Jul 29, 2012 1:25 pm, edited 8 times in total.
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About The Story

Postby CaptiveLegacy » Tue May 29, 2012 3:15 am

Setting


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This is not earth, but more of a like a different world almost exactly similar to earth. But one thing - There are no humans here. Humans are not among this world, there were not created/evolved on this planet.

There are all the same animals here that are from earth, though they are not completely similar. Since humans are not a part of the way of life on this planet and have not disturbed this planet, the animals have evolved on their own over thousands of years. They have not evolved as fast as humans; they are a bit behind on technology and intelligence like today's society. There is not one most intelligent creature on this planet, but all the animals have evolved, except for some secluded animals on random parts of the regions and on islands. These animals are smart and can evolve like humans in intelligence, and their bone structure has evolved that some animals can walk on two legs for a small period of time, and some animals have been known to develop thumbs and can pick up stuff, unlike their cousins on earth. They also have developed a language that all the Evolved animals can understand. The evolved animals vocal cords have changed over their evolutionary years, and so can speak to one another. They are many years behind us, lacking in technology and other things we have on this earth. For a basis, they are around the old western times, though they do not have any trains or other uses of transportation except for oxen, horses, and other large animals.

There are two classifications of animals. One being the Evolved, and the other being the Untame. The evolved of course are the ones who jumped up on the evolutionary level, and have a high intelligence. The other is the Untame, who cannot evolve for some reason. Scientist are trying to figure out why, but there has been no solution. There is still a huge controversy, since animals are still hunting the Untame for food, and some find it unfitting. Untame and Evolved classes show up in any creature in this world.
There are three continents, called Periza, Memorit, and Destina.

Periza - Mostly made up of plains, marshlands, and various places with mountains. It’s one of the first continents that showed any sort of animal intelligence, so it is the best built. The north is temperate, though they can get very cold during some months. The north is the most settled, the south is dotted with very few cities and has a lot of small towns scattered across the land. The capital is in the north east, called Balti.
Memorit - Was second to be settled, mostly filled with hills, lots of mountains, and watery. Lots of lakes, rivers, and swamps cover the land, though it’s good for watery creatures and other animals since there is always a large supply of fresh water. This land is much cooler, and doesn’t have very warm days. It more a place meant for hardy animals with good amounts of fur. But since there has been a increase in coal trade, more animals have been able to live here since they can keep more warmer.
Destina - This land is filled mostly with sand, very few lakes are around here. Though they do have some plains around the east coast of this continent. This continent is very hot, and rarely has any cold days. It has not really been settled, so this place is still a bit unstable.
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Re: Ŧαbləs Hαvə Ŧurnəd - WIP

Postby CaptiveLegacy » Tue May 29, 2012 3:19 am

Characters


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Pride Trav

Gender
Male
Breed
Silver Tip Fox
Personality
Strong willed, compassionate, funny, adventurer, gets into trouble. Trustworthy, if you are able to be his friend, he'll stick by your side through better and the worst.
Job
Miner

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Last edited by CaptiveLegacy on Mon Jun 25, 2012 6:09 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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The Story

Postby CaptiveLegacy » Tue May 29, 2012 3:25 am

Chapters


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Chapter 1


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It was raining

...

Correction. It was pouring.

It is spring, you can always tell. Animals come from their hiding from the cold winter months and rejoice with the ending of the cold weather. Heavy rainfall is not uncommon during the spring months, and lots of floods happen near the south from the loose soil. This is the continent Periza, the most civilized continent out of the three. It was the first continent to have any creatures become more intelligent than the ones around them. It’s a temperate climate, the north being cooler then the south. The north is the most developed region on this continent, since there are more cities’ then small towns. The southern part of Periza is dotted with cities, which mostly around a large body of water. Small towns though are scattered across the land, you just have to look. Though, there's now a new age of discovery and adventure that has shined through the continent of Periza. The Evolved want to settle the southern part of the region and start their own life, business, or even their dream. Land is cheap, and there's lots of it to go around. It’s also a great time for workers, and so they travel as well down south to stake their claim on the region. It’s what every adventure hungry animal is waiting for; it just takes the right creature to take up on what it has to offer.

The land glistened from the rain as it poured down through the plains. Mice, rabbits, and other various creatures scattered for cover as the clouds pelted them with watery missiles it seemed. The sun was just starting to set, and a eerie gleam of the sun shined through the valley as it disappeared for the night. It was spring, the nights were humid, though they were short. A light fog settled over the plain, and the frogs chirped their night toons. Occasionally there would a nightly shower, which was happening that night. It cooled the land and brought fresh water to the plants and animals. The land was silent, except for the occasional hoot of an owl and the chirping frogs.

Pride grunted as he trudged through the wet grass, not to happy that he was getting all wet. His hat was soaked and was uncomfortable, and his chain necklace around his neck was cold against his pelt. Though he knew he was only a few miles away from the small town of Perfection, so he might a swell keep going. "I thought that darn cat said that the weather would be clear." he grumbled. A few days ago, Pride noticed in the town he was currently in at the time that Perfection was looking for help on the coal mines, so said the billboard up front by the 'Help Wanted' board. Noticing they were paying pretty high, he was curious why not a lot of people were jumping in on this good deal. Without a second thought, he sent word to the messenger owl to sell the owner of the mine that he is coming to work. He told the boss that it will be two days tops to get there, so Pride had to keep moving if he didn't want to get on the bad side of his new boss.

So Pride kept going, even though as the night wore on that he was starting to get a chill. It may be humid in this part of the region, but it still can get pretty cold if there was a rain going on in the middle of the night. Letting out a sigh, Pride picked up the pace and went onto a steady trot, shaking his head when a few drops of water would get in his eyes. Glancing up since he was keeping his head down to further avoid any more drops of rain interfering with his vision, he then noticed a few lights way off into the distance. Deciding that it wasn't too far away, Pride ducked his head again and cantered on towards the lights, knowing that it was the town that he finally reached. His paws crumpled the wet grass beneath them, leaving a small trail from where he had come from. "If I knew that it would take this long to get here, I would have hitched a ride on a carriage." mused the silver fox. Pride then finally hit the dirt road where the travelers carriages did their rounds, then picking up more speed since the grass wasn't holding him back anymore.

Pride reached the town in good time, but now dog tired from traveling. It was late when he got there, and the rain had finally calmed down to a slight drizzle. The streets of the town, which was mostly compacted dirt like most of the towns around this region, were wet and sloppy. There was a decent amount of business in the town, you know, the usual. There was the county control, saloon, restaurant, hotel, etc. There was only a few animals out, one being a short-haired orange cat who seemed to be traveling with his friend who was a tabby, but they quickly ducked into the saloon. There was also a Great Dane, mostly white though had a few speckles of black coating his fur. He looked like a traveler, such as himself. The Great Dane looked tired, his fur wet. He wore a normal western hat, though his ears hung out from the side. The dog seemed to notice the he was being watched and looked in Pride's direction, though Pride quickly ducked his head and went on his way. The Great Dane watched him for a moment, narrowing his eyes before entering in the local hotel. Pride glanced back to where the Great Dane had left, then turning his head back and entering in a restaurant.

The restaurant was clean, the walls seemed to have been painted not too long ago. The foundation wasn’t new though, it was probably a good 15+ years old from the looks of the wear and tear. It was painted in a brownish cream color, the trim a dark brown. Round wooden tables, a few set for a larger group of visitors, and other tables meant for two which were all in the middle of the room. To the left was the counter near the entrance where a worker would greet you and show you to your table. A small sign was standing up near the entrance, telling you the specials of the day in bright chalk. Way in the back right was a door, probably where the kitchen was since you could hear the ruckus of the workers as they busy themselves to make food. Paintings of flowers and wildlife were up on the walls, giving the small restaurant and calm and welcoming atmosphere.

After Pride was finished examining the surrounds, a female terrier with a small apron around her waist escorted him to his table. There was only two other customers in the restaurant, which were two old beagles that seemed to be a couple going out for a Sunday night meal. As Pride took a seat down, his back legs sitting down on the chair and his front legs up on the table. He slouched slightly, his shoulders still tense from the travel. "Have you decided on what you wanted to eat?" came the high pitched voice of the terrier, giving a welcoming smile. Reading the name tag, Pride figured out her name was April. "Yes...I would like a bison steak, warmed not cook." smiled Pride, sliding over his menu with his paw. April nodded, grabbing the menu with her mouth and carried it back to her work station. She then went to the kitchen and shouted out Pride meal, then leaving as the cooks hurried to make the meal. Pride noticed that the old couple that were seated only a few tables to the right were looking at him, but when he glanced back they were going on with a conversation they were having. Raising a eyebrow, Pride decided it was nothing, leaning back against his chair as he waited for his food.

Pride sighed as he took the last bite of his bison meat. It was a little overcooked, but it was still good, and he wasn't going to complain. The waitress came over and gave him a bill, then taking his plate away and carrying it to the sink. Pride dropped a few silver coins on the table, leaving one as a tip for the waitress, then went on his way out of the restaurant. He trotted over across the street; he didn't have to look both ways before crossing since there was nobody else out in the streets at this time at night. Pride padded up to the hotel, hesitating before walking in. The hotel was nice, clean, and orderly, somewhat similar to the nice little restaurant across the street. The room was painted in a nice deep red, though with occasional designs of white flowers scattered across the room. There was a small lobby to the right, a table set out for breakfast meals and a few cushioned chairs and side tables for animals to sit and read. No one was in the lobby though at the time, so the place looked a bit empty. With one last look around, Pride padded up to the counter and tapped the bell. A few moments later a tall black lab came to the front of the desk. "Hello, i'd like to stay here for a around 5 nights." said Pride, leaning against the counter and glancing around. The lab nodded, giving him a room key saying 'Room 17' , "If you need anything, please ring the bell or come down to the front desk." grunted the lab, obviously tired and wanting some sleep. Pride then nodded, walking down the hallway past the lobby.

His room only a few doors down, past the corner, but when he took the turn he collided with something big...and breathing. Looking up sheepishly, he noticed it was the Great Dane. Gulping, he wondered if the dog wanted any trouble, or was here in the town for trouble. The Great Dane looked down at him, looking annoyed that he was stopped so abruptly, but a curious twinkle started in his eye. The dog seemed to study Pride, and what seemed like forever, the Great Dane moved around him and walked away, but not until saying, "Have a nice stay, pup."

Pride stayed there for a moment, thinking over what happened. What was up with that? questioned Pride, glancing back over his shoulder to look where the Great Dane had walked away. Shaking his head, Pride slowly got himself back onto his paws and walked to his room, entering and closing the door behind him. Pride let out a exhausted sigh, jumping on the bed and stretching, "I can see a long day ahead of me tomorrow, I better get some rest." he yawned, then crawling under the covers and going into a deep sleep. The distant sound of a hoot from a owl rang across the town, but then was silenced a few cries of a wolf rang out across the small town of Perfection. Everything went silent.
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Re: Ŧαbləs Hαvə Ŧurnəd - WIP

Postby CaptiveLegacy » Tue May 29, 2012 3:29 am

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Re: Ŧαbləs Hαvə Ŧurnəd - WIP

Postby CaptiveLegacy » Tue May 29, 2012 3:30 am

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Re: Ŧαbləs Hαvə Ŧurnəd - Ch.1

Postby CaptiveLegacy » Tue May 29, 2012 3:40 am

Well, I decided to bring my book back onto CS as I work on it. I think it will be fun to have others read and enjoy it as I write, and also receive feedback c:

Chapter 1 is up!
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Re: Ŧαbləs Hαvə Ŧurnəd - Ch.1

Postby CaptiveLegacy » Tue May 29, 2012 7:58 am

~ Bump
Feedback is greatly appreciated c:
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Re: Ŧαbləs Hαvə Ŧurnəd - Ch.1

Postby crescent + cheep » Tue May 29, 2012 8:44 am

First things first: I love the beginning.
It was raining

...

Correction. It was pouring.

It makes me smile, and i want to continue reading ^.^

You see to be making a time leap to the next sentence, though, from the above to
It is spring, you can always tell.

I'm not sure if that is correct :/

Otherwise, I really like it, though I am confused as to if he is a human or a fox: he seems to be wearing a hat, but he is silver fox, on the otehr hand, the town has a saloon etc, which indicates that something human or near-human must live there. And he's also going to work in a coal mine.

Sorry, it may just be me, but it confused me.

[sorry for the short post, I havn't have time to read through it slowly, only reading ti quickly, but what i read, I like ;]
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Re: Ŧαbləs Hαvə Ŧurnəd - Ch.1

Postby CaptiveLegacy » Tue May 29, 2012 11:35 pm

Thank you for the feedback! I appreciate it lots c:

Yeah, after reading back I seemed to skip around to a different type of spring then what was described in the beginning. Though, I think at the time when writing that paragraph about spring, I was just explaining what spring is like in general in that area and not what was happening at that moment P: . It is kinda confusing, I even had to read it again a few times lol.

Actually, there is no humans on this planet. They do not exist. The animals though have evolved and have humans characteristics. I cant tell anymore, since it might be giving away what will happen later on in this book c:
Last edited by CaptiveLegacy on Wed May 30, 2012 1:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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