by ShadowsCryInTheNight » Wed Apr 25, 2012 10:03 am
Dear Marty...
I don't love you anymore. I'm not sure I ever truly did. You couldn't give me what I really needed, and at first I thought I could live without it. But now I know I can't. I'm sorry it didn't work out. But you have Michelle, so maybe you can be happy. I don't know if you two will ever be together like I wanted to be with you, And though I think I hate her, I wish you both all happiness. I'm not right for you, nor you for me. I need someone who will love me without hesitation, whether that hesitation is due to fear or religion. I know you've noticed how distant I've become, and I think you've noticed that I've been avoiding you. Truth is, I still feel something for you, and I can't stand it. Watching you looking around for me then walking away hurts so much. Watching you not notice my pain hurts even more. I miss you so much, but I can't be with you. I don't know if you ever loved me, but you didn't show it, and you've lost me. It's as much my fault as yours, perhaps my fault more. I can't stand being around people, my soul is dark, and my heart is stone cold. I tried to be happy. But I cannot act anymore. The smiles, the hyperness, laughs....it was all a lie for me. A mask. You never saw what was behind it, and now you may catch a glimpse from afar. But I can't stand seeing you anymore. I hide, yes. I avoid you, yes. Third period is horrible, because you sit right behind me. Can you not see the look in my eye when you speak to me, or feel me flinch when you touch me? I'm sorry. One I called you 'my love.' You didn't notice. You never noticed. And I can't stay invisible forever. I can't be your friend anymore. I'm so, so sorry.
Once full of love for you, but now just an empty broken shell, Shadows.