Favorite Quotes

[meerkatgirl]

Pretty much anything that comes out of Gerard Way's mouth, but here are a few of my favorites...
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“So many people treat you like you're a kid so you might as well act like one and throw your television out of the hotel window.”
**
“So people keep asking me what this badge is for... this badge makes me the sheriff, the sheriff of Emo town, so get your straight irons and eyeliner ready!”
**
“I'd rather be a creature of the night than an old dude.”
**
“None. I think we should send a country some cupcakes. You think some cupcakes would cheer up North Korea? Kill 'em with deliciousness.”
**
“I went to school in drag, in art school and my day was completely different because everybody thought I was a chick. You should see me as a chick. So I went as a girl, as like an experiment and it worked really well and everyone was really nice to me but I couldn't talk obviously...you know train conductors were really cool to me on my commute...HA! I looked hot as a chick!”
**
“It's for the hamster that I'm gonna buy! This is so perfect!
(after opening a hamster wheel at Christmas)”
**
“It tastes like somebody stole my wallet. Ya know?”

[peachie.]

"I want to be saved from reality. I want to be wisked away into the world of no worries and no problems." - amour.

[Moondancer]

Carolyn: I don't have an airline. I have one jet. You cannot put one jet in a line. If MJN is anything, it is an air dot.

Martin: Do they drive on the left or the right in Tunisia?
Douglas: I think when they're driving on an empty highway through the desert in an aeroplane, they probably drive pretty much wherever the hell they like.

Douglas: So, Arthur. In your quest to find the one image which perfectly sums up MJN Air and everything it stands for, you've elected for a shot of twelve Scottish cricketers in the Sahara Desert wearing swimsuits and carrying a fire engine.
Arthur: Yes.
Douglas: Hmm. The awful thing is, I sort of know what you mean.

Martin: But I have always wanted to be an airline captain.
Douglas: Really?
Martin: Yes, ever since I was six.
Douglas: Oh, and before that?
Martin: I wanted to be an aeroplane.

Douglas: Little flashing warning light, Captain. Anti-icing the starboard wing. Declaring itself rabbit of negative euphoria.
Martin: What?
Douglas: Not a happy bunny.

Carolyn: Is it me or is the sun not getting any lower?
Douglas: No, it's not just you.
Martin: Because we're flying west into a sunset near the Arctic circle.
Douglas: Every time it just dips behind the horizon ATC makes us climb a thousand feet and up it pops again like God's own fiery yo-yo.

Carolyn: Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has now illuminated the seat belt sign, so please ensure your hand baggage and duty-free are safely stowed, your tray tables are folded away and your seat is returned to the upright position. Or as they say, in Limerick:
The captain has turned on the signs,
so stow away bags of all kinds.
Then make sure your tray,
is folded away,
and your seat back no longer reclines.

Douglas: Golf Tango India, continue as cleared. Thank you, Oceanic, and merry Christmas.
Oceanic ATC: I’m a Shinto Buddhist.
Douglas: And may you be a merry one.

Arthur: Ooh, services! Can we stop?
Martin: Arthur, surely you can’t need to go again?
Arthur: No, I don’t. I just really like motorway services. It’s like a little gang of shops that have gone on holiday together.

Arthur: Here you are Skip, nice hot cup of coffee.
Martin: Oh, it’s cold.
Arthur: Nice cup of coffee.
Martin: It’s horrible!
Arthur: Cup of coffee.
Martin: I’m not even sure it is coffee.
Arthur: Cup.

-Cabin Pressure

[Pharoh]

"Are we allowed to eat an omen or should we catch more fish?"
-Shimmerpelt in Crookedstar's Promise, by Erin Hunter.

This gets funnier ever time I read it.

[Zitface]

"I'll barf on your lungs, brother!" - Paviche, Mark It Up! - REPO!: The Genetic Opera.
I love Pavi XD

[vein]

"Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are."
-Patrick Star

"I'll tell you a little story called "The Ugly Barnacle": Once there was a very ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everybody died. The End."
-Patrick Star

"Do you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells... smelly."
-Mr. Krabs

(While they were looking for ways to sell their chocolate.)
"Patrick: Let's get naked.
Spongebob: No, let's save that for when we`re selling real estate."
-Spongebob & Patrick

"Squidward: Who would want to celebrate a holiday where a fat man breaks into your house and leaves gifts?
Patrick: Like a genie!"
-Squidward & Patrick

"Spongebob: Remember Patrick, flatter the customer, make him feel good.
[Man opens his door.]
Patrick: I love you."
-Spongebob & Patrick

Spongebob: Patrick, are you mad too?
Patrick: Yeah.
Spongebob: Why are you mad?
Patrick. I can't see my forehead.
-Spongebob & Patrick

Spongebob: Patrick, your genius is showing!
Patrick: Where?!

[mal du pays]

Their souls may be fundamentally different, but look closely and you will find a commonality... The pasts that color them. -Claude, Kuroshitsuji Season 2 trailer

I've heard of your abilities. Turning day into night, Navy into gold. It seems that I'll have to turn gold into black. -Sebastian, Kuro season 2

[Cannec]

Female Tourist: I see Flash and Flash Jr.
Male Tourist: Isn't his name Speedy?
Kid Tourist: No, Speedy's Green Arrow's sidekick.
Male Tourist: Well, that makes no sense.


Black Canary: Good block. But did anyone see what he did wrong?
Robin: Ooh, ooh! He hit on teacher and got served?


Robin/ Dick Grayson: *walks up to Artemis in civvies* We're gonna laugh about this some day. *takes picture and runs off*
Artemis: *blinks* Who was that?
Bette: Freshman. Ignore him.

Robin: You're over whelmed, Freeze was under whelmed why can't anyone just be whelmed?

Robin: That guy is not whelmed, not whelmed at all.

Black Canary: Wally, you're in denial.
Wally: I'm comfortable with that.

- Young Justice

[DoodleBro]

Hershal: "i knew god had planned the reserection of the dead, i just thought he had something different in mind." -The Walking dead season 2 finale

[Meerkat Love.]

This made me and even my science teacher laugh, ' Fore-skin, Its just like eyelashes!' - from someone in my science class @ school