So much relationship-related stuff has happened to me since I last posted in this thread. Both bad & good.♥
For starters, I think I posted about how I feel in love with my best friend of seven years [Called M], & to continue that story:
I asked him out, and he said no [his reason being he doesn't think he's right for me & two of his close friends are interested in me], but of course, we're still best friends. It's not even awkward, it's just like nothing ever even happened. & I don't have any problems with that.(:
BUT, after I fell in love with him & before I asked him out, I went out with one of his really close friends. [Regretably]
His friend [I'll call him C], started texting me a lot & showing interest, and I was kind ainterested in him, even though I still liked M more than anyone in the world. Unfortunately, M had a girlfriend so I settled for C, and when C asked me out, I happily said yes. That was before I realized how incredibly clingy he was & that he LOVES being close [physically] to people. Not even kidding, he'd try to hug/kiss me at least once every three minutes when I was with him. I'm not like a lot of my friends, I can't stand being physically close to people [especially close to my face], and I despise clinginess.
So, I didn't want to just break up with C, so I went to M [who, OF COURSE, broke up with his girlfriend three days after C asked me out], & M said that C was probably just so clingy because he liked me so much & that if I confronted him about it, C would try to change for me. So, I planned on doing just that, until I realized that I'm really not worth changing for, and that it would just be better if I broke up with C so he could find a girl that appreciates attention like that. Not to mention, I felt like an awful person because I turned down C on Valentine's Day [while we were still going out], & said I was busy when I really just wanted to hang out with M [which I did].
Couple days later, I was single again. The following month, I hung out with M whenever possible, & seemed to fall deeper in love with him.♥
That gets me back to the part where he said no. But I still love him as a friend & I accept the fact that he feels the same about me.
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Now, long ago [about 6 months], in the beginning of the year, there was this guy that went to my school. I think the only word I ever said to him was Hi, & it was fairly indirect. He was pretty average-looking, maybe on the attractive side, & for some reason, I was infatuated with him. He returned my stares & it wasn't uncommon that I'd catch him checking me out or purposely being near me.
Then, he just left my school. It had only been three weeks since the year started, & he left. I hoped he'd come back with all my heart, but after a while, I kinda gave up hope. I'd occasionally see him at the mall or something, & I later found out he had switched to another school where I knew a couple people, but I never really had a chance to interact with him & actually get to know him.
All these six months, though, I remembered him. I remained hopeful that I'd see him again, & it kinda drove me crazy.
BUT, yesterday, he came back. He goes to my school again, & when I found out, I was practically vibrating with excitement in my classes. Not even kidding, my friend would tell me how she'd look over at me & just see me constantly being jittery and smiling at what seemed like absolutely nothing. I became determined to talk to him, & since I'd see him hanging out with some people I know, I figured it wouldn't be too hard. Not to mention, I found out he walks to the same park I walk to after school. I felt so lucky.<3
So today, I saw him hanging out with one of my friends at the park, but I was nervous about talking to him [naturally]. But then, my friends that I was with got picked up & I manned up & strode over to him, prepared to talk & charm & flirt & do whatever I could to get to know him better. [I'm going to start calling him B]. So, initially, I walked up to my friend [who was with B], & started a conversation. Then my friend kinda walked away, leaving me & B alone. That was when I asked him if he was new & stuff & just started chatting about random stuff. Never before had I felt so nervous about talking to a guy. Normally, I have nerves of steels that protect me from embarassment, but this was different. My confidence deserted me & I felt like a cliche teenaged girl talking to her crush.
Unfortunately, we didn't get to talk for long because he got picked up, but I'm still in a good mood from talking to him.<3
& I have plans to have a conversation with him again tommorrow. :3
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