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by oldlizmar » Wed Mar 07, 2012 10:25 am
DATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Here are some things you could do better:
1. spell check. Lots of it.
2. STOP SAYIN WORK ON THE PLAY CONTINUES * twitch twitch*
3. That's all I have.
4. Sorry Chosen.
5. I thought it was awesome, but slowly loosing its quality.
6. More spell check.
GOODLY DONE

Oh, all the comrades that e’er I had, They’re sorry for my going away,
And all the sweethearts that e’er I’ve loved, They’d wish me one more Day to stay.
But since it falls unto my lot, That I should rise and you should not,
I’ll gently rise and softly call, Good night and joy be with you all,
Goodnight and joy be with you all.
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by G๏l๔єภєאє » Wed Mar 07, 2012 10:29 am
She did say that it was late, so she couldn't do spell-check. (sorry if I'm being sexist and your male, I sort of automatically say 'she'...) and I think that the whole 'Work on the play continues' will link in with something where something big happens and the play stops happening or something. I don't know though - not the author.
More please, Chosen!!!
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by CalicoWolf » Wed Mar 07, 2012 10:31 am
I understand the work on play, because its part of a journal, but maybe give details of WHAT Proud is working on... maybe give it some varity[sp?].
May Odin give you knowledge on your path,May Thor grant you strength and courage on your way,and may Loki give you laughter as you go.Discord name: RainbowWolf#4227
“Three things cannot be long hidden:the sun, the moon, and the truth” – Gautama Buddha.
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by coelagirl » Wed Mar 07, 2012 10:36 am
No worries, I'm female, and excuse her, she's just doing her sisterly duties.
The 'work on the play continues' is sorta a time marker. Right now, I don't know when the play will be, so thier's no specific date. Later, when I DO know, it will say, like '3 days until the play."
Also Oldlizmar, stop insulting the quality without telling me how to improve. That was extremely rude of you, and I'm loosing Ideas to fill up now to the play.

Sister | Toyhouse | ArtFight
I was chosendragon | Ugly bag of mostly water
Coel (say "seal") | she/her/hers | adult | BLM
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by CalicoWolf » Wed Mar 07, 2012 11:00 am
chosendragon wrote:No worries, I'm female, and excuse her, she's just doing her sisterly duties.
The 'work on the play continues' is sorta a time marker. Right now, I don't know when the play will be, so thier's no specific date. Later, when I DO know, it will say, like '3 days until the play."
Also Oldlizmar, stop insulting the quality without telling me how to improve. That was extremely rude of you, and I'm loosing Ideas to fill up now to the play.
Well maybe keep the "work on play continues" But maybe add something that was done, like So-andSo did part of a set, or a costume was made or lines were fumbled, just give us a little some to go on. Even if it leaves us hanging, it least lets us believe there really is something going on having to do with the play. Hope that made sense, I do enjoy your story tho, I like how its flowing and not jumping all over the place.
May Odin give you knowledge on your path,May Thor grant you strength and courage on your way,and may Loki give you laughter as you go.Discord name: RainbowWolf#4227
“Three things cannot be long hidden:the sun, the moon, and the truth” – Gautama Buddha.
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by CalicoWolf » Wed Mar 07, 2012 11:06 am
chosendragon wrote:I understands, and shall see what I can do >:D
Also Perhaps an Idea since Proud doesnt want anything big to happen to the Words, perhaps that Fang and Marsh [being males] go behind her back and a small prank without Proud knowing or something pity that doesnt bother her too much [or maybe it can]. I'm just thinking when it comes to revenge Boys dont just sit around and wait.

May Odin give you knowledge on your path,May Thor grant you strength and courage on your way,and may Loki give you laughter as you go.Discord name: RainbowWolf#4227
“Three things cannot be long hidden:the sun, the moon, and the truth” – Gautama Buddha.
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