Novice vs. Advanced Posts
The Difference
There are very distinct differences between novice and advanced posts, which you will learn in depth during the course. To give you a sense of the difference, we will give you examples to compare between, and to show you what we are aiming for with your own posts.
Novice Post:
"Jake was scared so he hid under the stairs."
I'm sure we've all run into posts like this. Not only are they very minimal, but they don't forward the plot much. If you are at this level, don't worry, we all were at one point
In any case, by the end of the course you should be able to write something more like the following, which is the same situation of Jake being scared and hiding under the stairs...only less blunt.
Advanced Post:
Jake skidded around the dark corner, his rubber trainers screeching angrily against the grimy floor. He kept his trembling fingers against the moldy, jagged wall, terrified to move them even an inch away - what if the wall disappeared? Where would he be then? Stuck in the dark, alone, with that...that thing.
He shuddered and pumped his aching legs harder, faster. There was a staircase around here somewhere, he knew there was. He had come down one on the way in. It was too late, he knew, but still he wished he had never found it. Then wished for the first time in his life that he had actually listened to his sister. He would be at home now if he had, curled up in his warm bed, inhaling the fresh scent of detergent instead of the dank smell of rust and grime. But there was no use thinking about that now.
He jumped three feet into the air as he heard something crash behind him. It was catching up to him. He fought back the urge to throw up, pushing himself harder. He had to find those stairs. He wasn't ready to be dinner. Not yet.
His heart skipped a beat as he heard whatever was behind him howling, even closer to him now. How had it gotten there so fast?
He felt the frozen iron handle of the staircase beneath his fingers and almost yelped with joy, but caught himself when he heard the creature's heavy breathing. He dived under the stairs, trying hard to steady his heart beat and slow his breathing, which were both pounding so loudly he feared the beast could hear him. He pressed himself closer to the black corner under the stairs as he smelled the monster's rank breath, stinking of rotting meat and smoldering hair.
How in heaven's name was he going to get out of this one?
Just by utilizing a few techniques we have turned a nine word sentence of a post into one that is over 300 words. Not too shabby eh? And I'll be danged if the first one is more interesting or fun to read than the second.
Dead End Posts
Dead end posts should be avoided at all costs. These are posts that have no interaction to anything relating to the plot, other characters, or the surroundings. There are two main types of Dead-Enders: the first is one that is created by you/someone else, which affects those around you. The second is one that you create and affects only you.
Examples:
Say this is our plot:
Sophie and Mir are female wolves who have stumbled upon an abandoned cub in the forest. The odd one out is Yvonne, who joins in quite a while after Sophie and Mir find the cub. How does Yvonne interact?
The first way is through the first Dead-Ender, where Yvonne makes an action that won't help anyone forward the plot.
Doesn't help ANYONE wrote:
Yvonne looked at the pup and sat down.
How do the other three (Sophie, Mir, and the pup) react to this? Simple. They can't. Yvonne doesn't offer any of the three wolves an opportunity to create another action, therefore she is either ignored or the others will try to work with her - which will lead to some shaky posts, because they have nothing to work with.
Doesn't help YOU wrote:
Yvonne swam decided it was hot and she would go swimming in the lake.
Keep in mind our scenario here: the three other characters are in the woods. If Yvonne decides to go to the lake, no one is there to rp with here because, let's face it, no creature (be they wolf, human or otherwise) will drop one situation and miraculously teleport to the lake from the middle of the woods. Not only is this unrealistic, but it disrupts the plot. Meanwhile, Yvonne expects them to do so, and refuses to change her scenario so, while they others are fussing over the cub in the woods, Yvonne continues to make posts saying things like:
Yvonne kept swimming
Yvonne swam around in circles
Yvonne wanted someone to join her
Again, posts like this should be avoided like the plague. If too many of these begin to dominate an rp, it WILL fail. I have seen it happen a million times. SO, once again, avoid dead-enders!!
So what should Yvonne have done? She should have introduced herself into the situation and interacted with the other three, making a post something like this:
Keep it Moving wrote:
Yvonne sniffed at the cold spring air. There was something amiss amidst the scents of birds and flowers, and those of her pack mates. It smelled...like a cub? No, it couldn't be. None of the females of the pack were pregnant, so there was no excuse for a pup. But honestly, what else could it be? Perhaps I should investigate, she thought, an excited grin slipping over her black lips.
She started through the woods at a quick trot, not bothering to keep quiet. She followed her nose for ages, sometimes holding it up in the air, sometimes pressing it down against the cold, damp earth. Finally, she broke through the closely grown bushes into a clearing she knew rather well - it was her thinking spot. She had thought no one else had known of it's existence, but apparently she had been wrong for there, smack dab in the centre, were her sister Sophie and their cousin, Mir.
She trotted ecstatically up to them, her tail trembling with excitement and curiosity, and opened her mouth, ready to ask what they were doing here, and if they smelled the cub as well. It never came out though.
Her large black eyes locked on a little rolled-up ball of fur and without thinking, she shouted, "What in blazes is that thing doing here?!"
There are several things to note in this version: one, the detail. The character has realized her surroundings, and so by default, so have you. She pays attention to details, and reveals her thoughts to you. The post introduces you to the character, so that even though you've never met her, you can tell Yvonne is curious, easily excited, and doesn't think before she talks.
Most importantly, the end of the post opens up areas for the other characters to jump in. A whole flood of reactions is possible to this version. For instance, Sophie could shush her for being to loud and frightening the cub; or Mir could tell her that they found the little puff ball hidden away in the hollow of a tree; or the pup himself could run away and growl at Yvonne for scaring him, which would lead to the next few posts being about the three females trying to get him calm again.
Like many other topics, this too should be expanded on during your time in the RP School. Can't wait to meet you guys!
