by bubiza » Wed Feb 01, 2012 9:50 am
Dear Nincompoop,
Mum said I had to go to school today, even with a broken shoulder. I was discharged last night, and Mum showed no sympathy. Well, I don't want to have to practice the stupid assembly.
But it's got even worse. Mr. Smith has decided to ask the local reggae band to play the steel pans whilst we sing the stupid song. Oh, wow. He said we should be very grateful since it's a wonderful opportunity.
Humph. If I wanted, I could get Coldplay in on our assembly. So he better stop yakking about that stupid reggae band. So what, it's a steel pan? Nobody cares.
Sam was more cautious, and didn't do any handstands, flips, jumping, pushing, kickboxing, pepper spraying, stretching or anything like that within ten feet of me. I didn't want to risk hurting my other shoulder. Angie and Diesel were still keeping their distance. Watson was still being creepy. He's now got sideburns. SIDEBURNS, for crying out loud.
WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WANTS SIDEBURNS?
Well, obviously him, but it looks stupid. Urgh. Now, I'm not exactly a fashion guru, but I know that sideburns are dated. Mr. Smith has them too.
After lunch, we had Music. And the teacher has had a stupid idea for the play, which is going to be teamed up with the Drama lessons.
WE REENACT THE CHIPMUNK ADVENTURE, THE FIRST ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNK MOVIE, FROM 1987.
Why must we have to do stupid plays? The music teacher said it would be good vocal practice, since we'd have to talk and sing in high-pitched voices.
Wow. Woop-de-doo. I hope I'm a tree, or the person in charge of the curtains.
But oh no, she had different ideas.
SO I HAVE TO BE ALVIN.
"You were in a band, so it'll be perfect." she said. Number one, I was bass. Number Two, we didn't actually do anything.
Still, could be worse. I could have been Simon the nerd, or Theodore the fat one.
What's going to make it worse is that Sam's Britney. And, yeah...
She showed us some clips, including this thingy in which Alvin and Britney have to do some duet. Oh great. I cannot wait to do a duet with Sam. Not.
Maybe they'd still want me at the posh school. Actually, I don't want to go back there.
BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE A MUSHROOM AND ALVIN.
Life is unfair, Nincompoop. Life is unfair.
Once school had finished, me and Sam kind of sauntered off to the park so she could walk down the slide on her hands. I just sat on the bench awkwardly, mainly because I couldn't move my shoulder. Then this girl I recognized ran up to me, who was wearing a princess costume. It was Amber, Dylan's sister. He came over, and sighed.
"Tell me Sam's not here." he grumbled.
"She's here."
"Bye."
"Wait, Dylan." I muttered. "What about the entire saving the queen plan? When are we going to do it?"
"Dunno."
Ah, yes. What an educational conversation. I think not.
"Look. Just ignore her, because she's being sensible now..."
We were interrupted by Sam, who came flying past, and landed in a bush.
"I'm OK!" she cried, standing up. "I was on the slide, making myself all streamlined, when these three kids offered to push me. And I said yes, and went flying! It was so awesome! Oh, hi Dylan."
"Hi, Sam."
"No, we should go to Ray. Now." I snapped, and dragged them there. Ray was in, watching TV and eating a curry.
"What do you want?" he asked.
"We need your help." I said, and explained the plan. He seemed interested, and offered to help us.
"Right. We should book tickets on an overnight train, and get to London tomorrow. I'll supply money and all of that lot." He went on his computer, and booked four tickets to London to set off at seven. I decided not to tell Mum, since she probably wouldn't notice.
And... That's about it, Nincompoop. I'm on the train now. Sam's sliding up and down on the catering trolley, while Dylan's pretending not to know her and just messing about on his iPod. And Ray's snoring his head off.
I suppose I better sleep now, Nincompoop. So, more tomorrow.
From,
Sherlock.