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Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by Ourpawprints » Sat Jan 28, 2012 3:53 pm
bump. Anyone? Any comments crit anything?
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
-
Ourpawprints - Posts: 5470
- Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
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Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by Ourpawprints » Sun Jan 29, 2012 3:49 am
if people haven't noticed instead of posting each chapter in a post I have it all on the first page so I can edit easier.
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
-
Ourpawprints - Posts: 5470
- Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by Ourpawprints » Sun Jan 29, 2012 8:07 am
bump
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
-
Ourpawprints - Posts: 5470
- Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by Ourpawprints » Sun Jan 29, 2012 11:52 am
bump
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
-
Ourpawprints - Posts: 5470
- Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by Ourpawprints » Mon Jan 30, 2012 6:09 am
bump
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
-
Ourpawprints - Posts: 5470
- Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by Seren. » Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:06 am
I think it very good and hope you write more 
-
Seren. - Posts: 1051
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Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by Charias » Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:32 am
Great story! You should definitely write more!
- Charias
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Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by Ourpawprints » Mon Jan 30, 2012 8:50 am
thanks. I'll write more in a bit.
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
-
Ourpawprints - Posts: 5470
- Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by Ourpawprints » Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:02 am
bump
"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium"
-David Guetta Titanium
Between school, my pets, homework, art and life I have not been able to get on cs often, so please don't be surprised if I'm not very active.
-
Ourpawprints - Posts: 5470
- Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2010 9:14 am
- My pets
- My items
- My wishlist
- My gallery
- My scenes
- My dressups
- Trade with me
Re: ||A Horse's Life||In Need Of Crit||
by Saphira344 » Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:24 pm
yay go amber
Check out this awsome streamer
Adorable pokemon gif's, click to go to the makers deviantart profile.
My photo gallery. ||My raindom lines||Asperger Syndrome||Ask me ||Athena||Moon Frost(Frost)||Tilly's story|| Arachnia ||
Adorable pokemon gif's, click to go to the makers deviantart profile.
My photo gallery. ||My raindom lines||Asperger Syndrome||Ask me ||Athena||Moon Frost(Frost)||Tilly's story|| Arachnia ||
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Saphira344 - Posts: 123110
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